Arranging to Take Your Child on Holiday

Originally written by Emma Jones, updated by the editorial team on 29th March 2026

Taking your child away on holiday gives you a great opportunity to spend some quality time together and build some lasting memories. As eager as you may be to do this, you are going to have to co-ordinate with your ex to make the process run smoothly and keep her happy. Make sure you leave yourself enough time to work out any glitches and hopefully you will soon be off on a fun packed holiday.

If you need to formally request holiday dates from your ex, you can quickly create a clear, professional message using our free Letter Builder.

Plan in Advance

Deciding to take your children away at the last minute is not going to go down well with your ex and just leaves you open for things to go wrong and her to hold them against you. Think about when their school holidays are and leave enough time to finalise the details so everyone is happy.

Check Commitments

Has your child got a football match or ballet show planned? Are they going to miss their best friend’s birthday? Is your ex planning to take them to see their Grandma? You need to co-ordinate all your diaries so that you can find a time that best suits you all.

Letter Builder

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Try our Letter Builder free, here on this site →

Ask Your Ex

In an ideal world you would be able to take your children wherever you wanted without asking permission from anyone. However, in reality it is best to keep relations smooth so that you do not work against yourself. By asking your ex for permission you are showing her respect and hopefully she will reciprocate by agreeing. (Read our article on the Rules Of Negotiating With Your Ex on this site.)

Negotiate Time

So you want to take them away for 3 weeks to India and your ex would prefer 3 days in Cornwall. Sit down with her and try to negotiate a compromise by calmly pointing out the pros of your plan. Make sure that you acknowledge and accept any concerns that she may have and try to find some middle ground.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

Ask Your Children

While your ideal holiday might be cycling through France you need to think about what your children would enjoy. Ask them where they would like to visit or what their favourite activities are. Then you can do some research and plan the trip together so that they can get excited about it.

Lessen the Distance

Although your children have probably spent time away from their mum when staying with you before, they may not have left her for an extended amount of time. Think about this in advance, take a photo, their favourite home comfort and make it easy for them to contact her if they want to.

When you are planning a holiday with your children you need to think about their needs but also consider the opinions and concerns of your ex. You want her to be supportive of your plans so tread carefully, ask her permission and try to negotiate a plan that everybody is happy with. It can be a great time to share with your children and if this one goes well, then hopefully you can plan many more over the years.

The Next Step

Now that you have read through the advice above, you might want to put it into practice. Our Letter Builder lets you generate a professional letter to your ex, solicitor or school. Takes 2 minutes. Try it now →

51 questions

Ask Separated Dads a Question

SeparatedDads Editor 28/03/2026 at 3:59 pm

@Anmar I'm so sorry you're going through this, especially with your child looking forward to the trip. It must be heartbreaking to see them disappointed. Given the urgency and that you've already been to court about this before, you really need immediate legal advice. Contact your solicitor straight away if you have one, or call around family law firms today to see if anyone can help urgently. Some courts do have emergency procedures for situations like this. If you can't get legal help immediately, Citizens Advice might be able to point you in the right direction. Keep documenting everything, including your ex's refusal and your child's distress, as this could be important later. Stay strong for your child and don't give up.

Anmar 24/07/2022 at 5:33 pm

Hello, my ex refuses to pass on my child’s passport even though I have her all the traveling details as requested. I have everything booked and after playing along for weeks she now refuses to pass it on basing her excuses on lies and exaggerations. Not the first time. I took her to court before over this matter in the past, when the judge forced her to pass it on but there was never a consequence on her. Now I have a distressed child that dreamt of this trip and can’t do it. Is there any urgent-court way to get it? I do have PR.

KDee 29/06/2019 at 4:52 pm

Hi, I am currently separated from my husband, he moved out of the house and in with his mistress initially in December 2018 and subsequently around 24 January 2019. When he initially moved out, he said he would like to be actively involved in the lives of his children such as taking the oldest son to Piano and music lessons. I agreed however in Feb 2019, when we usually take the children on half term holiday he decided to take his mistress on holiday. This upset our oldest son and also on the boy's birthday he did not call and has not seen his children since then. At a point in April he came round wanting to take the kids out and the oldest (7 yrs) refused to go with him. Witnesses asked him to come in and warm up to the boy but he refused. He wanted to take the youngest son (4 years) but I refused as we have never separated them before. Then my children's father started cutting the childrens expense that he usually covered in the house which let me to filling for child Maintenance. This prompted him to take me to MAIMs the time MAIM was bale to see me was not convenient and the time I was available she was unavailable so I was unable to make mediation. Through the help of a solicitor friend, I was advised to draft up an agreement to send to him which gives him 50% access (something I did not originally want to do but I had some much going on and emotions to deal with plus coming to terms with the betrayal) but I agreed reluctantly without thinking it through. He has now agreed to this offer and waiting for the final agreement to be sent to him. Given our oldest son have refused to go with him a couple of times and after inviting him over to come and try and win the boy he refused. What are my chances? I don't want him to have 50% access as my son has refused to go with him or even be around him on 3 different occasion now. if the oldest is not going, i don't want him to take the youngest son. As we have not signed any agreement, can i suggest he comes and tries to take the boy out first? Also he has not confirmed where he is living ( he keeps denying the fact that he is living with his mistress) do I have a right to know where he lives as that's where my children will be staying?

Miles 04/10/2018 at 5:07 am

My ex partner and I have an 8 year old. Been separated over 7 years. Planning on visiting South America in a few months time. I have asked for permission to take my child away, however she has refused to consent unless she gets to see which hotels I plan to stay at, am I obliged to share this information with her at this stage? If I was to seek a court order to get permission to take my child away, would the court side with her on this basis? And with hold consent on the basis she needs to approve the hotels/accommodation first? Been away aboard several times before and she has never asked to see which hotels we planned to stay at, and there has never been an issue with the hotels either. I have assured her I would book a safe and clean place,

Sean 22/07/2018 at 10:02 pm

Hi all.
Both myself and ex wife have anagreement for regular contact and holiday contact as well. On our Scottish court agreement we have both have the right to take the kids on holiday abroad. She has since been on 3 holidays aboard including 1 to Florida.
I have saving and working all the hours I can to take the kids to forida in less than 3 months. She has known this for sometime and has just recently returned from holiday.
She is now refusing to give me the children’s passports. So I can start getting organised for our holiday. I really don’t know what to do now.

SeparatedDads Editor 17/07/2018 at 2:40 pm

If you are taking your child abroad, you would have to get permission.

Patricia 14/07/2018 at 7:31 pm

Hi,
I'm taking my son on holiday for 10 nights just wondering do I need permission from his dad? Baring in mind he doesn't see his son at all.

SeparatedDads Editor 26/04/2018 at 11:57 am

Your partner does not have to seek the father's permission to take her child on holiday in the UK (after she has given the month's notice). Only if she plans to take her child out of the UK, would she need the father's written consent. The order should revert back to the the terms of the order post-holiday (unless the parents agree otherwise). Any 'changes' to a contact order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply additional terms. If they wish to do so, they will need to refer the matter back to the courts. I hope this helps answer your question.

Everton 25/04/2018 at 5:06 pm

Hi, I asked a question on the 29th March that as yet has not been answered but would greatly appreciate any thoughts from anyone who may be able to help with advice

SeparatedDads Editor 24/04/2018 at 10:05 am

Even though you have a court order, you would still need to seek permission from the other parent with PR

Nikcos 23/04/2018 at 3:07 pm

We have a child arrangement order which states that we have my step daughter for half of the school holidays can we take her abroad on our time or do we need separate permission from the mother... Even though we have the cao

Israr 30/03/2018 at 7:59 am

Hi

Me and my ex don’t have any child agreement in place 2 girls living with her 2boys living with me

Can I take my boys holidays with out her permission for one week?

Everton 29/03/2018 at 4:14 pm

My partner has a child arrangements order and has a residency order for her daughter. Dad has overnights on every Wednesday and alternate weekends . Regarding holidays the order says that they are both allowed to takenter holidays with there daughter but need to provide a months notice. My first question is having supplied a months notice does she need his permission to take the daughter on holiday in the UK. Also once the holiday is taken is she required to let dad make up any lost time or just revert back to the routine of the order because there isn't anything in the order that makes comment on making up lost time. Thanks for any help

SeparatedDads Editor 12/02/2018 at 10:11 am

You must get the permission of everyone with parental responsibility for a child or from a court before taking the child abroad. You can take a child abroad for 28 days without getting permission if a child arrangement order says the child must live with you, unless a court order says you can’t. You can see more which

CFG 11/02/2018 at 12:12 pm

Me and my ex partner have been spilt for over a year; he doesn’t like my new partner and we have just book to go on holiday with my 2 year old for a week. Do I need to ask my ex partner for permission to take my daughter to Spain? My daughter dad takes my daughter 3 days a week for 2 hours each time. Can he stop us going on holiday?

SeparatedDads Editor 22/01/2018 at 12:32 pm

It is not selfish that you do not wish your child to miss the first and most important week of school. Also, you have to get permission from the head teacher if you want to take your child out of school during term time

Sara 21/01/2018 at 6:58 pm

my daughter starts school in september and her dad ( my ex) has told me he has booked a week holiday abroad and booked for her to come with his partner and her 3 boys , She never sleeps at his ( her choice) I’ve told him if it was the 6 weeks holiday yes. But as she is starting school no, he said am selfish and hates the fact she is missing out on a all inclusive family holiday I think starting school is a very special and emotional time. Am I wrong and selfish to not let her go

SeparatedDads Editor 06/11/2017 at 1:50 pm

You can see more whichwhich will tell you all you need to know.

Mumof4 04/11/2017 at 8:36 pm

Hi, after advice, my son has started seeing his father (the child born march 2015) only since August 2017, I have agreed for him to take our son to Disneyland Paris with his wife and other children but he is now saying he needs to be on the birth certificate, even after adding my son to his holiday and paying for his passport, what I need to know is does he need to be on the certificate as the child has different surname but so does two of the other children they will be taking, thanks

SeparatedDads Editor 29/08/2017 at 12:52 pm

You are not under any obligation to pay for clothing towards the holiday. If your ex is taking them on holiday, unless you agree otherwise, it is up to him to provide/buy clothing for them. The money he pays you as child maintenance is for their general 'day-to-day' needs.

Taz 27/08/2017 at 4:43 pm

I take our kids on holiday every yr and never once ask my ex to help pay for it or clothes for the trip.
My ex is taking them on their first holiday in 6yrs and now demanding I go to the expense of buying all their holiday clothes for the trip he is taking them on...
He pays me £65 a wk when it suits him ..fir 3 kids..
Am I expected to go to the expense to buy these clothes.
Thank you

Razzle 13/06/2017 at 1:40 am

I have followed all of your negotiation advice regards holiday arrangements. I have planned a 10 day trip with my sons who will be 9 and 11 to Asia, visiting Hong Kong and Shanghai and provided a full itinerary. I am also flying to the uk to pick my sons up and will fly home on their return also. My ex is saying she will not allow the boys to go to China, yet gives no reasons. It has been 2 years since my last holiday with my sons which was to cancun in Mexico and I had the same issues then, it was a nightmare yet eventually the boys were allowed to come. What can I do ? Can my ex stop them from coming on holiday and visiting China ? Please help.

SeparatedDads Editor 23/05/2017 at 2:46 pm

I'm afraid there is little you can do legally in this short space of time. If there is a court order in place allowing you access and holidays, you may be able to ask a solicitor to write a letter to remind your ex about the terms of the court order and the repercussions if she attempts to breach it. If you have parental responsibility, while you do not need permission from your ex to take your child on holiday and the police cannot intervene, it is never a good idea to do so without agreement, as it can quite easily backfire. Hopefully, the matter will resolve itself by the time you go and your ex will reconsider - but if it doesn't you may have to leave your daughter behind.

345 23/05/2017 at 7:44 am

We have planned a trip to Cornwall last minute my ex wife has said my daughter can't go we have been split 7 years and my daughter has lived with with 50/50 since. We go in four days what can I do she's telling me I can't take her

D666 05/03/2017 at 7:05 pm

Evening
Advise please I've been divorced for 4 years separated 5 years and this year I'm hoping to take my 3 children (8,13,15) abroad for the first time in 5 years I've offered to pay for new passports and the 13 year old actually has a trip with his school to France in the spring . She's aware that my plans are to go to Italy for a week in the summer holidays I have joint parental responsibility
Can she stop me in any way just to be nasty ? ( she has in the past been bitter )

Loraine hook 10/02/2017 at 12:33 pm

My son seperated from his wife of six years four years ago he was the one that eneded the relationship as he felt it would be cruel to carry on as he did not love her as he should there marriage resulted in two beautiful children girl and a boy 9 and 6. He now lives with his partner and they have gone on to have a son he is 18 months. My son tries very hard to be a great dad to his children he pays his x for his children without fail also they have there own bedroom he buys them clothes toys shoes ect and has them every friday and saturday and every other week a sunday also. Along side that i have them thursday night and take them to school friday morning and collect friday evening and my son then collects them from me after work the children adore there little brother and they love being together. But my x daughter in law keeps changing things to suit herself we are very flexible with her i have them at the drop of a hat whenever she asks and where possible so does my son but its my grandsons birthday and she has just messaged him saying your not having him on friday or saturday when my son messaged her and said you can not do that its my day with them she says tuff have him on sunday but he has school monday so he will only get to see him for a few hours can she keep doing this we are all so accomadating to her but she still sends my son txt all the time starting arguments he will get a txt everyweek after he drops them home with some snotty comment it is never ending what can we do

Angiemic 06/02/2017 at 2:10 pm

Hi I have a residency order for my grandson but I was wondering if anybody could let me know if my mother would be able to take my grandson on holiday

SeparatedDads Editor 30/08/2016 at 2:58 pm

I am sorry to hear this. Unfortunately, it is unlikely that an application for a Specific Issue Order would be heard in time for your holiday. I can only suggest you seek legal advice regarding this to explore whether you have any options.

Helz 30/08/2016 at 6:33 am

Hi I need some advice, we have a family holiday booked abroad in3 weeks my son partner granddaughter and my daughter grandson and 2 family friends yesterday my sons partner said she is not going and our granddaughter can't go. She had agreed to everything even to me paying for the passport for my granddaughter and her and my son have fallen out. Does my son have any rights to be able to take his little girl on holiday still, and how to we get this sorted in 3 weeks

SeparatedDads Editor 14/06/2016 at 12:48 pm

If the court order does not specify holidays and your ex does not wish you to take your child on holiday, then you are not entitled to take your child away as you would have to stick to the terms of the order. I hope this answers your question.

Lefthangingdad 13/06/2016 at 5:18 pm

Would just like some advice. After a lengthy court battle, I now have a child arrangement order in place for my child of 21 months. This allows me 2 days and an overnight stay every weekend. I believe this is set until school age unless I am mistaken. I was just wondering if I am entitled to holidays since at this age they don't have the structure of school term times. My ex doesn't think I should be allowed extra overnights which would allow me to take my child away. Do I have to wait until my child starts school??

Thanks

SeparatedDads Editor 15/04/2016 at 10:03 am

You would need to take the matter back to court and apply for a Specific Issue Order, If the court order specifically says you are allowed holidays and phone calls then your ex is in breach, please see link: Breach of Contact or Residence Order: What to Do, here which may also be of help.

Ed 14/04/2016 at 10:54 am

Hi..

My ex wife wont allow me to go on holidays abroad with my son. We have a court order in place where I have 5 weeks a year but she said not abroad. She says she'll cancel the my sons passport so he wont be able to fly. She was never given any reasons for this.
What are my options? Go back to court?
She's also not allowing me more access such as phone calls etc..

Any advice welcome.

BHUPINDER 05/03/2016 at 12:43 pm

HI im taking my kids on holiday, and i asked my ex in january for this as we divorced 4 months ago. she gave me permission she texted me 'you got my permission to take kids to india' now i booked everything ticket done, travel injection done, now she showing her true colour as she cheated on me two years ago. my kids looking forward to this and she saying you cant take them. she making things hard for me only two and half weeks left to go, dont know what shall i do to get passport for visa.

please help me.

SeparatedDads Editor 02/03/2016 at 10:21 am

You can self-litigate which will save on employing a solicitor. Please see link: How to Represent Yourself here. You would need to apply for a Specific Issue Order, whichYou would have to apply in good time to allow it to be heard before your holiday. Mediation is also an option you may wish to consider and one the courts will have expected you to have suggested to your ex before you put in an application. I hope this helps.

JohnR 01/03/2016 at 8:39 am

My partner has custody of our 8 year old daughter and I have her every other weekend and half of the school holidays. I want to take my daughter to France but my ex won't let me it would be during my part of school holidays, I can't afford to go back to court, can I get the court to consider this cheaply? Is their a paper I can complete? My ex won't discuss reasonably and has never been out of the country herself, I want to give my daughter the same experiences as my other children who live with me and their mother.

SeparatedDads Editor 27/08/2015 at 10:52 am

Please see article Can My Ex Stop Me Taking My Son on Holiday? whichI hope this helps.

Mol 26/08/2015 at 11:40 am

Hiya me & my partner are taking his 17 (18 in december) away on holiday in 3 weeks time with us, his ex wife who was happy at first has decided to stop this saying she will have him for abduction, his daughter is more than happy to come with us and is stuck in the middle of this dispute, what are our rights please?

SeparatedDads Editor 06/08/2015 at 11:37 am

I am sorry to hear this. You would have to apply through the courts for a Specific Issue Order. A Specific Issue Orders, much like the name suggests, are orders sought from the family court to determine a particular matter in connection with the exercise of Parental Responsibility. These orders can cover a wide range of issues that you and your ex-partner cannot agree on, I hope this helps.

Stuckinarutdad 05/08/2015 at 10:20 am

Hi there, I'm looking for some advice please, i separated from my wife 6 years ago, we have 3 children together, ranging from 6yrs to 11 yrs.
I now have another child with my partner of 4 years and would like to take all of them on holiday however year after year I have the same problem where my ex won't allow me to take them away even though the children want to come with me.
I don't want to take them abroad and I allow her to take the away, so my question is, where do I stand if I just take them away?
She does not speak to me, just gives me abuse through text or the children. I have approached her family to help however they won't. I have tried mediation but she didn't turn up.
I can't afford to take her to court at the moment to get official visiting rights and she knows I would never cause a scene in front of the kids. I just want to spend some time with my children, please help, thanks

SeparatedDads Editor 08/05/2015 at 11:27 am

@Al - I'm just wondering what you think could go wrong if you have made an agreement? The fact that your ex is taking your daughter to the airport and putting her on the plane to come to you, means in iteslf that you have consent. You don't say how you are arranging it, but if it is exectuted through emails and texts, then you will have the evidence you need, by the factor of your arrangements. Or are you worried that your ex may renege on the agreement? If so, you then you would have needed to arrange a Specific Issue Order through the courts. However, it is a bit late in the day to do this, if the holiday is imminent. I'm sure all will be OK and that you can relax, and enjoy your break with your daughter.

Al 07/05/2015 at 3:05 pm

Hi there, I was born in Scotland to Irish parents so have dual nationality. I was married in Scotland and moved to Ireland during divorce 2 years ago. Anyway, things are ok between my ex and me with my daughter who is 12 this year.

After many attempts, my ex has now said my daughter can come to Ireland for a weeks holiday, so I have agreement, no problem. My question is this, although I have verbal consent to the holiday, do I need it in writting to travel? I am going over to collect her and her mum will be at the airport to see her off so no bother there, but as I say I am just frightened something would go wrong and I don't have a lot of money to go asking lawyers for paperwork unless it is necessary to do so.

Hoping someone can help me with this, I have 2 months to get this fixed, thanks in advance - Alan

martyn 28/04/2015 at 8:27 pm

Hi folks looking for advice. I'm wanting to take my 3 year old daughter on holiday for a week but probably less. My ex is demanding that I contact her each night to let her know how she is. I have refused this as I feel that as her dad I don't have to contact my ex unless there is a real reason too. I could understand if there was fears over my abilty to look after my daughter but that isnt the case at all. I feel mynex is still trying to control me by refusing to let me take her away unless I comply. Is this normal or am right to refuse this?

SeparatedDads Editor 31/03/2015 at 11:10 am

@G - you need to take this straight back to court as she is effectively in breach of the court order if she is not consenting to this. You need to do it sooner rather than later as it will take time for the hearing to be heard.

G 28/03/2015 at 5:17 pm

Hi my son is 9 an am taking him to his brother wedding a board an my ex wife has none this for a year but wanted give me his passport to book it eve thou I have got a concend order from the court which was made 6 years ago What can I do about it

Chris 15/07/2014 at 1:50 pm

Hello,
I have a 6 year old son who lives with his mother and I have him every Saturday. My former wife wishes to take him away to France on holiday with her partner and their daughter. Does she require my permission to take him to France, or can she do it anyway? - thanks.

ash 02/07/2014 at 7:33 pm

Hello, I need some help. I have been separated from my wife a only a short while just over a week now although our marriage has not been working for some time. She threatened to call the police and say I was being abusive. I must say that this is totally false I left the home as she has done this threatened this many times and actually called them once then retracted her statement. The question I would like to ask is, can she stop me taking the kids on holiday? we had planned to go away this august together and i after i moved out she wanted to know what holiday times i could arrange so she could book her time of from work. I told her i wanted to book a holiday abroad and could she send the kids passport numbers. she did this and booked her time off around me and the kids going away. so i booked a 10 day trip abroad (deposit paid). I have been seeing the kids regularly for a hour or so every other day and the odd trip to the cinema. each time I have seen them, the children have asked there mum and she has said yes. sorry my kids are 12 (girl) and 9 (boy). today my daughter called me and said there mum is not letting them go on holiday. the reason she gave is they cant go until all the legals are done. she has stopped communicating with me and i have to contact my daughter to arrange times to see them (or the kids call me). I have emailed her and asked her to reconsider as the kids are looking forward to it and that she can come too as i have booked it for all us as the children would want her there i have said that it doesn't need to change anything between us. so can she stop me taking the kids on holiday. any advice would be greatly appreciated

rain 18/02/2014 at 9:01 pm

my children are 16 and 18 years of age living with their father and he is now trying to stop them seeing me saying i have to arrange all visitation through him, surely at the age they are now i can arrange such visits with them directly?

chris 26/09/2012 at 9:06 am

Hi Seperateddads,
I found this site looking for advice on the internet - i have been split from my partner for around 5 years now. I have parental responsbility for my 8 year old son, but for the past 3 and half years since i started a new relationship my ex isnt at all cooperative/negotiable when it comes to me and my son. She did stop access around 3 years ago, at which time i applied for a court order and went through the courts (my ex wanted me to have no access at all, she would not attend mediation, and generally made things awkward, she requested checks be done on my partner which all came back fine - as expected). I was given access 1 night a week (which is better than nothing, but still very much unfair in this day and age). I have not been able to take my son on holiday or away on weekends for the past 3 years - so far he has missed out on so many opportunities just because his mum wont let him come with me (i should also add, his mum is also settled with her partner and has 2 more children within the past 4 years).
I have arranged a weekend away (in the UK) in january for my birthday and would like my son to come - his mum has said no (again), with no reason or explanation and no willingness to talk about it.
I would like some advice on how i can proceed with this matter as this cannot carry on until he is 16/18 - whether i need to apply to the courts again (as she isnt going against the court order), or just any advice on what i can do would be much appreciated.
Many Thanks in advance.

BOBBY 22/07/2012 at 11:16 pm

Hi there,well here goes me and my wife split 5 years ago I am english and so is my still wife,we were married in an EU country where I have lived for years before we actually met.my wife fell pregnant before we were married,3 months after we were our first boy was born ,then 3 years down the line our second boy was born.18 months later she decided to leave taking my two boys with her,her excuse was she couldnt live in the EU country we were in.at a later date I found out she had an affair whilst she was with me of which she totally denies.I was broken hearted,and started to suffer panic attacks and depression of which I was very poorly,still she didnt care because her family supported her,i eventually got myself better and started to make more contact by telephone than normal of which she was ok with so I decided to go back to england to see my little fellas.then I started to realise she had made a very good path for herself knowingly I would find out what went on whilst we were married,when I got there her friends wouldnt speak neither her family and in two weeks she only allowed me to see them 2 times of which she was present.since this the phone calls have carried on but half the time she doesnt answer and much more,i have offered her money possbly a thousand times but all she says is we dont need it.i feel like I am losing my children and dont really know what to do or even where to start but I know I need to act quickly.thank you.

mick 18/04/2011 at 3:39 pm

I am thinking of taking both of my sons on a 2 week holiday at the end of this year and reading this has proved to be really helpfull cheers guys.

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