Building a Routine After Separation

I don't know what to do and need some advice. My daughter is now 11 years old and her mother actually left me when she was 3 months pregnant. I decieded that i wanted this child to know / have a father so I was there at her birth and was sharing every other weekend and holidays up until my daughter was 5. During this time I was continually abused by my x , so much so that I became ill. When my daughter was 5 I left for Indonesia where I lived for 4 years. I had to leave because of the mental abuse. Telling me what a bad father I was, asking for more money, more extras, etc etc. Hell basically ! I was in such a bad way and actually believe that I saved my life by leaving. I had two doctors tell me that I was lucky to be alive- the mental abuse took me on a path of physical abuse ( not looking after myself ). Now I am back and am wanting to see my daughter every other weekend and half holidays as is written in my legal paperwork, get the routine working again. I must mention that in the 4 years I was away I always came back for Summer holidays and or Christmas, so I have always been in contact with my daughter. Looking back I know it was a terrible time to abandon my daughter yet I had to save myself. So as i said I am now living 40 mins away from my daughter yet every weekend that she is meant to stay with me there is a reason that show doesn't come, playing with friends, or homework to do. I have seen her fro 2 days in the last 2 months and within that time were the Easter holidays as well where I did not see her at all. So I have been to a lawyer and am ready to send the paperwork through yet i am feeling that I can't send the paperwork because the mother is saying it is what my daughter wants. IE she doesn't want to stay with me. Now I dont know what is best : to fight for my daughter by getting the courts to tell her mother that she has to spend time with me or let it go as I don't want to force my daughter to be with me if she doesn't want to. I'm sure that she should be spending the allotted time with me yet i can't seem to want to force her to do something she doesnt want to do. What do I do ? Many thanks, Jo

Hi I'm looking for some advice. My 7 year old daughter currently lives 45% of the time with me, and 55% of the time with my ex (10 mins away). My ex is moving my daughter 2.5 hours away, whilst I am obviously heartbroken by this I am realistic that obtaining a court order to make her stay will make my life worse, and I am highly unlikely to get full residential custody of my daughter. Whilst my daughter says she wants to stay in school here, live with me and my partner etc I do not believe her views would be taken into account and her mother manipulates her, saying how much her half-brother, dog, step father etc miss her when she is with me. So far my ex has offered every other weekend and 50% of the holidays, but says she has no obligation to meet me half way with my daughter, meaning I'd have to do the 5 hour round trip to collect and drop her off. Can anyone advise whether this is true? I want to pick my battles carefully and preserve the relationship between my daughter and I.

I have my kids after school 2 days a week and one day/night each weekend. Because the days change, I find it hard to get into a routine with them.one week they might have football and the other week not. I feel I have to do something special each time I see them just to make up for not being there all the time like I used to. I am hoping this feeling will wear off and we can just chill and get used to having each other around in a strange place.