Can My Ex Change My Children's Names?

Originally written by Grace Hawley Jones, updated by the editorial team on 25th August 2026

Your Child's Name and Why It Matters

A name is part of who someone is. For many families, surnames carry meaning that stretches back through generations, connecting children to their wider family and heritage. When parents separate, questions about a child's name can become a point of tension.

Disputes usually centre on the surname a child was given at birth. While feelings can run high, it helps to know that the law sets out clear rules about when and how a child's name can be changed. If your ex wants to change your child's name, you have rights, and there are steps you can take.

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Can a Child's Name Be Changed Legally?

It is possible to change a child's name, including both forenames and surnames, from what appears on the birth certificate. However, this is not something one parent can do alone without the other's knowledge or agreement in most situations.

The usual method for changing a child's name in England and Wales is by Deed Poll. This is a legal document that records the change of name officially. For a child under 16, written consent must be obtained from everyone with parental responsibility for that child.

Parental responsibility is a specific legal status. Mothers automatically have it. Fathers have it if they were married to the mother at the time of birth, or if they are named on the birth certificate for births registered after December 2003. Unmarried fathers who are not named on the birth certificate can acquire parental responsibility through a court order or a formal parental responsibility agreement.

This means that if you have parental responsibility, your consent is needed before your child's name can be legally changed. Your ex cannot simply fill in a form and make it happen without you.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

What If Your Ex Tries to Change the Name Without Consent?

A Deed Poll executed without the required consent from all those with parental responsibility may not be legally recognised. While many reputable services encourage checking for necessary consents before processing applications, there is no statutory requirement for them to do so. The responsibility lies with the parents to ensure proper consent has been obtained.

If a name change is made without proper consent, this can create serious practical problems. Documents such as passports and medical records may not be updated, or if they are updated based on an invalid name change, complications can arise later.

There are some limited exceptions to the consent requirement. If a court has made an order allowing one parent to change the child's name, that parent can proceed without the other's agreement. Courts will only make such orders in specific circumstances, and the child's welfare will always be the primary consideration.

It can be distressing if your ex uses a different name for your child informally at institutions such as schools or GP surgeries. While informally using a different name is not the same as a legal change, schools and other organisations should not change records without proper evidence of a legal name change or consent from all those with parental responsibility.

If you find that your child's name has been changed informally without your knowledge, you can contact the school or organisation directly and ask them to correct their records. It may help to provide evidence of your parental responsibility, such as a copy of the birth certificate showing your name.

What Can You Do If There Is a Dispute?

If you and your ex cannot agree about your child's name, there are options available to you.

Talk to your ex directly if possible. Sometimes concerns can be resolved through a calm conversation.
Consider family mediation. A trained mediator can help you both discuss the issue and work towards an agreement. You can find a mediator through the Family Mediation Council.
If agreement is not possible, you can apply to the court for a Prohibited Steps Order. This type of order can prevent your ex from changing your child's name without your consent or the court's permission.
Alternatively, your ex may apply to the court for a Specific Issue Order, asking a judge to decide whether the name change should go ahead.

When making any decision about a child's name, the Family Court will focus on what is best for the child. Factors considered may include the child's own views depending on their age and understanding, the reasons for wanting the change, cultural and emotional considerations, and the importance of maintaining connections with both parents.

Legal aid may be available for court proceedings in some circumstances. Eligibility depends on your financial situation and the nature of the case. You can check your eligibility on GOV.UK or contact the Legal Aid Agency for detailed guidance.

If you are unsure of your rights or feel that your ex is acting without your consent, getting advice early can help. It is advisable to seek advice from Citizens Advice or consult with family law solicitors to understand your options based on your specific circumstances.

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253 questions

Ask Separated Dads a Question

Dav 30/09/2022 at 3:50 pm

Can my ex change there surname ov my two boys with out me even know I'm on there birth certificate can she still do it and if she never ask me wot can i do

mynyddwyr 01/04/2022 at 5:24 pm

Hello my wife abandoned me in August 1970. Unbeknown to me she was pregnant. After a period of 3 years I was informed by the DHSS that she had a child. In 1973 I started an action for divorce. In 1975 blood tests were done to determine paternity. These proved I was not the father. In 1977 I was granted a decree absolute. The Judgment made no mention of the paternity.
In the meantime I had moved abroad, remarried and had three children.
In 2021, my former wife died. I received an invitation to witness the funeral by video.
This I did. Since then the child has been pestering me and claiming that I am her father. She has now consulted a lawyer and they want me to do a DNA test. I am reluctant because it all has to happen by post and I don't trust the independence of the labs. Also why should I do a DNA test more than 50 yrs after she left me and 43 yrs after the divorce?

Muzzy 30/06/2021 at 3:35 pm

My son turned 18 yesterday and my x partner is telling me I’ve still got to pay? He finished college and not going back in sept. Is this correct? I’m going out of my mind

Muz 30/06/2021 at 3:31 pm

Hi.....

My son turned 18 yesterday and my x partner is telling that I still have to pay her maintenance until he’s 20! He leave’s college this August !! Is this correct

Mindymc 15/04/2021 at 8:05 pm

Hi I have been broke up with my x narcissistic partner for over a year now. I was always bullied or pressured by him and now I have stood up to him and his ways he is using the child to get at me. He has changed my sons name and has caused a lot of upset and confusion with the child. I don’t know what I can do it’s bothering me cause he’s now using his own son to try get at me. Can anyone help me in what to do please.

Ad 28/02/2021 at 6:03 pm

Hi there,

I have now divorced my ex and together we had 2 children (one is biologically mine, the other isn't as she was born before we got together but her dad has never been around, and is not on the birth certificate)

Their mum has since remarried - can their mum change both their surnames without my permission?

Thank you

Harry 24/01/2021 at 7:34 am

My ex has stopped me seeing my son since September since we broke up ... my son is called Harry-joe but my ex has told me since we split her and her family and friends all call him joe ??? I'm going to court next month for access but tbh I am thinking about going full custody .. any ideas ?

KSJB 06/11/2020 at 6:51 am

My ex has brain washed by 10 yr old into wanting her new husbands name added to my daughters last name. I am totally against it but my daughter has been pretty much guilt tripped into actually wanting it with comments such as “don’t you want the same name as mummy now I’ve married and your new little sister?”
Such games shouldn’t be played with children. I see my daughter every week for 2 nights a week which I had to fight for in court. My daughter keeps asking genuinely too, and I have never put words in her mouth, for more time. She wants both our names based on the fact the time we have is equal for both parents. I have said I would discuss this is the mother would agree to the extra night a week as she keeps insisting this is what our daughter wants whereas ignoring the fact our daughter also wants more time with me. She literally asks me every week!! Unprompted!!
Her mother says she only wants the name change as it’s what our daughter wants and is aware our daughter wants more time with me. She is picking and choosing as to what the child wants to best suit her. I have tried negotiating but am getting backed into a corner more and more and is causing real stress. I am not comfortable agreeing as I feel I am being bullied into decisions and threatened with courts and all sorts. Can I stop this name change? I don’t agree? What is the general concensous of the court? Do they consider the fact a young child may have been emotionally blackmailed into such a decision as a name change?

Gcrads 26/09/2020 at 7:57 pm

My ex has decided on a name for our soon to be born baby without my say or consent. Is there a way I can legally dispute this?

A 18/08/2020 at 7:37 pm

hi, my ex is trying to get more money out of me as her and her new husband are financially unstable during covid. I currently pay an agreed amount between us above the amount the guidelines state on the .gov website. I have offered to pay half of my share for clothes etc but wants the money upfront (not happening) and is requesting i give her my salary details . Even though my job title and wage are available online she refuses to believe how much I get paid and wont take into account how much pension I pay each month (even though it is required for the calculation). 1, Do I have to provide my salary details to her? 2, how good is the CSM? 3, when is the time I can stop payments to her? Thanks (sorry for the bit of a rant)

Danni 12/06/2020 at 8:00 am

Hello my husband ex is re married she stol my husband seeing his daughter when she was 3 she now 11 hes always paid csa,the thing is they took my husband to court cuz they want to change her surname to his which they got.Does he still pay csa.Knowing she wont let him see his daughter and gone to court to change her surname.

Steve 27/03/2020 at 8:56 am

My ex wife has changed my children's surname by deed poll without my consent.The police have tracked the paperwork and Only her signature is on it. But they are not taking it any further.What can I do??

Sam 11/02/2020 at 2:40 am

@chris.she wants the truth with no bs .i am (career criminal) .so even if you went to child support you will get nothing (I haven’t payed tax’s or worked a legit job in 10 years or been on benefits) .i am a (cash men )darling .so new husband should put he’s surname on your child so you can happy family gods truth .you can’t have children when you are a career criminal .i told you I have changed .

Sam 11/02/2020 at 2:20 am

@chris.i am completely different to you . I hope the mother changes her daughter surname because I don’t (care) anymore (gods truth I am religious) I am (sick to death off been something I am not or pretending to be nice guy) .i am (violent) my whole family is violent )and if her daughter doesn’t want to meet me well( F off ).get your mothers new husband to be your (dad no skin off my nose) don’t even no f ing (child) .in reality her mother was in (all honesty)was a bit off fun in my (early twenties) let break it down all the bs and all be (honest with each other) no games .do you really think I care now ?i am nearly 40 for god sake .

Chris 11/02/2020 at 12:10 am

Hi, I’m after some advice. My ex has recently pulled my children out of school to homeschool them . My question is, can she change the surnames of my children to her husbands . I’m very opposed to this as it’s very important to me. There’s not many ‘Donnison’s ‘ left . They are very religious and they just do whatever they want . This name change has really effected me. Thanks very much , yours sincerely Chris Donnison.

Josie 20/01/2020 at 10:25 pm

Hi, I had a one night stand many years ago while I was in. A relationship. I became pregnant and thought my son was my current boyfriends son. 6 months later my boyfriend says he doesn’t believe the boy is his and leaves.
I track down my one night stand and tell him he could be the father.
So the one night stand says he’ll do a DNA... This proved he is the father.
So my one night stand is the biological father to my son.

He was a dad to my son for the next 3 years then he lost his job and couldn’t help support so I stopped contact.
He tried to take me to court but then he gave up and I haven’t seen him in 10 years.

I don’t know his date of birth or address, only his name.
He is not on my sons birth certificate.
Can CSA find him? I know he is self employed and I heard he may have changed his first name. Is there any chance of tracking him down?

Dave 15/12/2019 at 4:55 pm

Hi there - can anyone help?
I've signed the legal papers for my ex-wife to legally include her surname as well, so the surname of our children would be double barrelled. However, I have just found out (by getting a christmas card from my kids that they made in school) that my surname is no longer theirs and only my ex-wifes surname. Having had a long (and heated!) discussion about this with my ex, I have found out that my surname is now included as a middle name for them. This is not what I signed, and apparently the only reason this has happened is because a dash wasn't added in between the two names.
Can anyone help in what I can do with this?

C.laurie 23/10/2019 at 1:51 am

@tom.last post .now I have the (right understanding )about the mother for my maybe child she is someone I just don’t (like )even after 10 years Off no contact she still makes me sick (gods truth) .and this is (gods truth )I am (ashamed )to have a maybe child to her .this is my (personal thoughts ).but I do want my surname removed (legally )from her daughter .how can I get that (done) when I haven’t had contact in 10 years this a (genuine question )some advice would be good with this matter.i feel if I got this done legally I would be able to move on 100 percent .and fix a wrong to a right if that makes sense?.it does to me .

C.laurie 23/10/2019 at 1:28 am

@tom.after years I finally have the (right understanding).the mother off my child was in a relationship with my uncle (everybody knows) .all I want is to have my surname removed from her (daughter and to be left alone forever ).i apologise to her mother for all the messages but it( helped at the time) .now her mother never (stood bye )me all I ask is for her to remove my surname from her daughter (legally).in return I will never bother her again gods truth .she will never hear from me again .

C.laurie 22/10/2019 at 11:56 pm

@tom.some people think I am (dead or ill and that I have wrecked my life or that I am lonely or committing fraud or a criminal).truth is (I quit my job yesterday afternoon) and made the (decision) to move on it’s who I am .so there is (definitely )no room for a teenager in my life .Truth is the mother is best to be with someone like my uncle I think they are suited for each other (gods truth) .and I do really want my surname removed from her daughter( gods truth) .and for everyone to move on for good and close this chapter I relived it after 10 years with no contact.i have finally found peace and understanding and just want to be left alone to live my life .

C.laurie 22/10/2019 at 11:27 pm

@tom.my story is sort off the same .its not( possible )for my (maybe )daughter to live with me .plus it’s been (10 years )without (any contact ).so I would give my (consent )if she wanted to change her surname .because in reality with the (circumstances )yeah I think it’s best to keep the (no contact rule )in place for everyone best interest and let her mother and partner get on with raising (there )children in (peace) .and if she wanted to change surname I will (100 percent) give my consent if (needed ).and the gods truth is I will (never associate )with her( mother or her daughter again )so it’s probably (right thing )to do bye changing her surname .it does make sense to me .

Tom 20/10/2019 at 11:50 am

I’m a 15 child of divorced parents. I would like to change my surname to my mother’s maiden name, but I don’t know wether it’s possible to do so. I currently live with my dad as it is not possible for me to live with my mum, but I get along with my mum and I don’t talk to my dad. I would like to change my surname so I no longer associate with my dad. Both my parents said they would give consent to change it, but I’m not sure how it can be changed.

C.laurie 07/10/2019 at 3:12 am

@serdar.my story is completely different to yours .for one i was never married second I don’t have social media and thirdly I couldn’t care less if my daughter changed her surname gods truth .and fourthly it’s been 10 years for me without seeing her so I don’t really class myself as her father .and it would be just weird now .atleast I never had to pay child support that’s a bonus.so yeah we have two different story’s .

Serdar 05/10/2019 at 5:10 pm

Hi. I have a daughter who is almost 13 from my ex wife. I have not seen my daughter in 5 years as my ex kept relocating and refusing contact. Anyway. I have now found my daughter on social media with my ex’s new married name. Is it possible that she may have changed her name without my permission, I do have PR.

Is there anyway for me to check?

seun 27/06/2019 at 1:19 am

Hello please can you advise me on this matter I have a daughter with my surname on her birth certificate me and ex we are not together since I was pregnant but now I'm with another partner have twins girls for him but my partner said he want his surname to be on the twins birth certificate and first daughter she's 3 and the half year and she's using my surname in school but I want all my children to be using the surname in school because I'm thinking to go to citizen advice bereau please guys what I my supposed to do please let me know

Dritan 19/05/2019 at 10:08 pm

Hello
My ex wife has changed the surnames of my children and l wasn’t asked about it for my consent and l wasn’t even aware that such a thing had happened.
I found out about the change at the school of my children that they are no longer carrying my surname and l was shocked about it.
Is it legal that she can change their surnames with out my consent and what legal action can l take against it please..

Many thanks
Dritan Barnard

Chris 01/03/2019 at 3:52 am

And for the record .i am leaving the (past in the past)I thank your blog .and have decided (not to take legal action to see her teenage daughter ).and choose to focus on my life( I really need to ).and put this tormented , unpleasant past off mine to bed for good and (100 percent let it go it’s done and gone now no need to dwell on it ).it was bad enough living it (once )let alone on replay.the only pain I suffer now is self inflicted on negative thought off the past .but as a wise men said to me (it’s gone now brother and your ex behaviour has nothing to do with you don’t try and justify her actions she has her on agenda and (does not care one bit about you brother )spoke volumes to me .and it registered with me and he is right .

Chris 28/02/2019 at 7:14 pm

There is a (mutual understanding )between the mother off my child and myself .i know exactly( who she is )and the best thing is (I don’t have to deal with it anymore )and haven’t for( 10 years now)the suffering is over and the (mental pain gone now )and come to terms with the situation .as for her daughter( I want nothing to do with her )and won’t be taking( legal action) .and if her mother thinks it’s ever going to be civil between us (think again ).the mutual understanding is (no child support for no contact )and to (never speak again for as long as I live )that deal been in place for years .the realisation is (my daughter is (gone )and there is (no bond )never will be ).the realisation is my ex was in a relationship with my (uncle and others )so I think now is (he can have her and her children )i am officially done and feel like my old self again which is good .

Kriti 28/02/2019 at 1:13 pm

@Taff No, there won't be an issue. But you should mention these things in child custody order of court so there won't be any problem in future.

Sam 25/02/2019 at 9:00 pm

This is to my (ex )you and change the (surname )if you want go for it .thats gods truth .and bye way hey if want to make something off my threats or call me f wit in front off my family again come do it now you (heroine junkie )new new boyfriend must not be that smart ?.hey ex how come he didn’t defend your honour when I threatened you ha ha .what you to strung out on drugs or scared off the real men ?

Youdontnomeloser 25/02/2019 at 4:23 pm

@ryan.she can’t change your child’s name go see a solicitor mate .and the anxiety go see a doctor .i have a ex right that’s thinks I suffer from anxiety and depression why I don’t no ?.it is because my brain has (developed now I am no child anymore )and I think honestly is because (I rejected her with good reason )and never went( legal to see my child ).i have my reasons not from anxiety or depression it was because if completely honest I never wanted my (ex )or her child .and because off this everyone running around (making up accusations about me )oh there is something wrong why is there ?.there is plenty off( women out there) why would I go back to a (cheating whore) ?.and I have never been hands on dad haven’t seen her in years .i can honestly say there are millions off guys like me .

Ryan 25/02/2019 at 2:55 pm

i have been informed that my ex is taking my daughter on holiday in june and for her passport she wants to change my daughters name to hers. i was wondering do i lose any rights to my daughter at all? i am suffering from anxiety and im not sure if this is her plan to stop me from being apart of my daughters life? thank you for you time

lisa 23/12/2018 at 6:35 am

Hi, I'm married but not been with my ex husband since Oct 2006. we got married July 2006. we had a little girl b4 we were married she passed away she is in her dad's last name. I then fell pregnant wiv our son he was born in feb 2006 we were married in July 2006. our son has my last name, my ex has been asking me to change our sons name into his I've sed no I want him ledt in my name to carry it on out of respect for my dead dad (passed away 1988 i was 6) I've been asking my ex for a divorce for ages n ages now, he has sed wud I put our sons name into his again I sed no, his mum asked me I sed no to her I asked y was it so important she sed cos wen J goes to school he will get builled for aveing a different lastname I sed no he won't cos there's loads of kids at schools that ave a different last name to their dad's. I've got another son from a previous partner he's 15 he's in my last name.. mine & D's son is 13 I'm feb. the ex has sed to me he can get it changed without my consent he sed he'd apparently spoke to a solicitor (he hasn't) my son J lives with his dad as after I lost our daughter I found it very hard to look after J so he went to live wiv D's mum n dad for a while, then me n D split up social services says our son is there on a voluntary basis so i can take our son wen I want ( I wont) I do see our son when D can be bothered to let me & answer my txts I txt him 2day on what's app asking how J was D read it but didn't answer but answered other txts I still have PR ova our son so it's not been taken from me. I'm worried that D has gone behind my bk & changed our sons last name by deed poll without me knowing I dnt even know if our son has my last name at his school how can I find out if my son's name has been changed without my consent pls. that's all I need/want to know is how can I find out that's the bottom line. thank you

Mike 16/12/2018 at 6:47 am

Hi there I not sure where I stand on this I have 2 son's with my ex partner. And we separated over 18 months ago. And she met someone else there was a court order in place for contact. But I regretfully broke the order and didn't return my children and as I believed at the time they where at risk of emotional harm ETC they was returned to the mother as ordered through the courts. Then on the next hearing my partner made some untruthful alergations towards me. As I was a recovering addict. I lapsed but was fully honest with other professionals involved. But the judge didn't aceapt my honesty and told me untill I made changes I wasn't allowed contact with them but it was ordered that I'm allowed to contact them by letter every 2 weeks and allowed to send Xmas AND birthday presents and other small gifts but not excessive gifts.he did not strip me of my parental responsibility. And I still have my oldest son from a previous relationship live with me full time but he was abrupt and not interested in sibling contact. Now my ex is getting married and her partner wrote to me and expressed in a very abrupt manor saying that he was intending on going foward with proceedings to adopt my boys explained it was in there best interests THAT they grow up in a strong famliy unit and didn't feel different even though they are 2 and 3 and in irionsite should not understand the situation. As of yet. And it was happening weather I agreed or not. He then went on to say that if I agreed to give up my rights as there FATHER he would be open to discussions regarding future sibling contact with my boy's and there brother but for the past year they have not been intrested in any sibling contact whatsoever so I sent back a adult and diplomatic response saying that I certainly wouldn't agree to giving up my parental rights to our son's and was very disappointed that he would try blackmail me saying if I agree there proposal they would consider sibling contact however after 12 months of no electronic communications from my boys mum she has emailed saying that they aren't going for adoption but instead proceeding to change my boy's name by deedploe to her new husbands name and my consent is not needed for THIS process

Becks 24/09/2018 at 12:23 pm

My brothers kids live with there mum she stopped all contact with my brother moved so he couldn't see the kids he has always payed csa for them and is on the birth certificate of both child we have now found the children but there names changed by deed poll with out his concent how can this be done if he pays for his children and can't see them due to there mother , no violent involved just a marriage breakdown x

Kaijay 24/09/2018 at 11:38 am

Hi, my husbands ex wife want to change their children’s name again (it’s double barrelled). She wants to change it to her and her husbands surname by Deed Poll,she has said that the children want this. They are 16 & 14. If this happens, does my husband still have to pay child maintenance?

SeparatedDads Editor 27/07/2018 at 3:13 pm

Unfortunately, your ex is allowed to change the name of your child without consent if you are not registered on the birth certificate. Even if you had PR and you refused, then your ex would have the option to apply to court. If your ex could justify her reasons for the name change (such as family uniformity), then it is likely the court would allow this.

ConfusedDad 24/07/2018 at 10:10 pm

So I have been through hell and back with my ex that decided to cheat on me just before she got pregnant, I have been paying full maintenance for a while now as they have assumed parenthood on me, I have recently undergone a dna test which has come up positive but I have found out that my ex has changed my daughters surname to the name of her new husband. The only way they can do this is either deed poll or adoption. I was never told about the surname change at all and I do not have any PR due to the system taking so long in giving me a dna test etc. I now have to go through the courts before I actually get PR. is she allowed to change the name of my daughter without my consent whilst I am currently in the midst of gaining PR?

SeparatedDads Editor 21/06/2018 at 3:21 pm

The laws in the US are different from English ones, therefore we couldn't advise.

Wonder 20/06/2018 at 7:38 pm

My fiance owes child supprt n we pay it. One child is over 18 n one is about to be 18 when do we stop paying. Plus they live in a different state then we do and his cjildren use there stepfathers last name but he did not adopt them.

Trigga 19/06/2018 at 7:38 pm

My ex has a british visa we hav a child who was born in Britain. I live in zimbabwe and my ex does not respond to any communication regarding the child. Wen she comes to zimbabwe she does not inform me . Im suspecting she intends to change the last name of the child . How best can i handle this situation? How can my consent be considered before they travel outside uk?

SeparatedDads Editor 19/06/2018 at 9:21 am

If the contact order states the name isn't to be changed, a letter with a copy of the order sent to the school and your husband's ex should be suffice. If neither responds, then a solicitor's letter reminding your husband's ex of the terms of the order may do. If this is ignored, your husband would have to refer the matter back to court. If your husband keeps copies, it would also show the court that he has done all he can to try to resolve this matter outside of court. The argument that might arise is that your husband's ex hasn't 'officially' changed the child's name. However, once his ex unofficially changes the child's name is gives weight to her reasoning for officially changing the name in the future (through the courts) by saying that the child has been known unofficially by the name for a period of time.

Kittykat01 18/06/2018 at 1:35 pm

Hiya,

What (if anything) can we do regarding my step daughters name being unofficially changed in school by her mother?

Husband has a contact order in place which states her name isn’t to be officially changed at the top. Can we contact the school regarding this matter or not and is there a way of resolving it. The child thinks her name is the one she goes by at school.

Thanks

Baffled 16/06/2018 at 11:43 am

My partner thinks that his ex may have changed their sons surname without his consent. Is there anyway he can check whether this is the case? Thanks

SeparatedDads Editor 31/05/2018 at 12:09 pm

The fact your husband has changed his name will have no bearing on his parental responsibility. His PR will stay the same.

Shell 30/05/2018 at 12:57 am

My partner has children from a previous relationship and is on all of his children's birth certificates. We got married a few months back and his surname is now double barrelled making it different than what was put on his children's birth certificates. Will it affect his PR? Does he have to change his name on their birth certificates? As I am worried because him and the mother of his children don't see eye to eye this will have a negative impact.

SeparatedDads Editor 04/05/2018 at 10:03 am

If the school allows it, then yes it is allowed. Your only recourse would be to write to the school stating that you have parental responsibility and were not consulted. Otherwise, mediation is the only other alternative you have if your ex will not discuss this directly. There may be reasons why your ex has done this i.e uniformity of names with other siblings etc, so discussing this between you is the best option.

SeparatedDads Editor 27/03/2018 at 1:47 pm

Much depends upon whether your ex has changed your son via Deedpoll (in which case, as specified in the article, if you have parental responsibility she would have to have your consent) or unofficially via schools and GP. If she has changed your son's name unofficially, then there is little you can do regarding this matter. If your ex has changed your son's name via Deedpoll, then you would have to refer the matter to the courts if you wish to challenge this.

T 27/03/2018 at 6:08 am

Hi my ex has change our son surname to stepfather surname without my consent is that allowed?

SeparatedDads Editor 15/03/2018 at 10:01 am

Before UK Deed Poll Service can issue a Deed Poll to change a child's name, it must be satisfied that everyone with parental responsibility for the child has consented to the name change. This means when one parent submits an application, there must also be a letter of consent signed by everyone with parental responsibility for your child. You would have to look into this matter directly if you feel your son's name been officially changed without your consent.

Grahamb35 14/03/2018 at 12:44 pm

Hi my son is now 17 but I have just found out he changed his name by depol when he was 15. I have PR and was not aware. How can this happen without me being informed? What can I do about it now? I don't mind too much that he wanted to change his name and would have given my consent if asked but it just annoys me that once again my thoughts were not even considered.
Graham

Taff 07/03/2018 at 2:06 pm

My ex wife has remarried and wants her new husband to have parental responsibility for my 15 and 13 year old sons. If I allow him too does this mean I lose my parental responsibility for them

Laurie 14/02/2018 at 10:34 pm

I got a letter from my ex solicitor asking for my consent to change my daughters last name to her step daddy’s name bye de pol .i gave my consent because I haven’t seen my daughter in years .anyway .to me it wasn’t a big deal.i was told bye there solicitor that she is over the moon for her step father to officially adopt her they are apparently they are to peas in a pod .so I am stoked for them.might sound weird to some but I let go off my daughter many years ago .in the letter from solicitor i do not have to pay child support anymore her father will.so I guess everyone is happy .thanks for reading .

Jules Editor 13/02/2018 at 12:33 pm

@Chris - yes I agree. My lad is my lad, it doesn't matter what name he goes under it's water of a duck's back to me. It's the foundation of our relationship that is important to me. He knows I'm there for him and I'm his flesh and blood. That counts more than any surname he uses.

Chris 13/02/2018 at 6:06 am

Mate let her change the name means nothing .if It bothers you that much get (solicitor )maybe you need to (let go ).my ex done the same and she cheated on me all the time and calls and tells me that my daughter step daddy is better then me out of (spite ha ha ).its the gamesmanship of separating .dont read into it .get a (blood solicitor).

Mike 12/02/2018 at 3:38 pm

After divorcing my ex has re married my son is 11 born before we married he has my surname but now she's started using her new name after his surname I pay and have my son and have done since divorce 5 yrs ago I wasn't even consulted and she now withholding my son to b spiteful we have a great bond and I'm worried this will upset him he's all I have left from my 10 yrs with his mum who cheated and I had no option than toleave our hom and my son it broke me I have and now she's expecting me to roll over again and I can't my son's my life !! Advice please

SeparatedDads Editor 28/11/2017 at 12:42 pm

Your ex can change the name of your child unofficially i.e through her GP, school etc, so that the new name becomes your child's 'known as' name. However, she cannot change the name by Deed Poll without your consent.

Stuart 27/11/2017 at 12:35 pm

Hi guys, i recently found out my sons mother has changed his surname on his medical records after our divorce. I have PR and pay maint. and have him 2 days a week. I have refused any request made by her to give permission for a name change...

My question is, is she allowed to do this as its a legal document (i believe), i am awRe that she can use the "known as" option in most cases but shes just changed his name out right at his doctors.

Thank

Stuart

dad87 25/11/2017 at 1:16 pm

Hi, i have PR, have me daughter at least two nights a week and my daughter has my surname on her birth certificate but her mother has changed her surname to match hers at school. The school did not contact me or anything, it has been like this for three years now as i thought i could not do anything about it and to be honest I was scared that if i did say anything then my ex would deny me access to my daughter. I have no idea what i can do about this without compromising my time with my daughter

Nett 31/10/2017 at 10:38 am

My sons father is trying to have our sons name changed. He does not have parental responsibility but is on his birth certificate. My son was born in 2002 before the law changed and we were unmarried. My son has his fathers last name and he wants this removed. He has not seen our son in a year and is trying to do this to avoid child maintenance which he is not paid for two years. He says he is issuing legal papers. He has been threatening towards me and my son telling him to kill himself. He has sent threatening messages to our friends and family as well as me and my son. We have reported this to the police. He is now contacting people to obtain my address and contact details including my work. Can he sue me for not changing my sons name?

SeparatedDads Editor 30/10/2017 at 10:51 am

If you have no PR, there is little you can do to challenge the surname change as your child's mother is within her rights. Many children have different names from their fathers, but this does not change the fact that biologically your child is still your child and you are still your child's father.

Norma 29/10/2017 at 4:34 pm

I have no PR and my ex changed my daughters surname to her new partners and has now gone and got her a passport and had her new name registered at school....... I didn't see my daughter for s couple of years but am seeing her every weekend now what can I do about her surname change

SeparatedDads Editor 23/10/2017 at 2:01 pm

Yes, you would be able to apply to have your child's name changed and you would be successful if the child's fraudulently father used an another name

Jen 22/10/2017 at 8:41 pm

Hello, my child’s father used an alias surname (found out on police records) on the child’s birth certificate. I didn’t know it wasn’t his real name. Could I go to court and get the child’s surname changed? Is that fair enough legally?

SeparatedDads Editor 16/10/2017 at 11:30 am

All non-resident parents are by law required to financially support their children regardless. A legally qualified solicitor would not send such a letter, which in this case would be deemed as bribery. I would question the legitimacy of this letter, as it has no legal foundation or grounds and is quite possibly fraudulent.

Rosie96 15/10/2017 at 10:54 am

Hi guys- I have received a letter from my ex partner (my sons dad) from the solicitors saying that he will only allow the name change if I cancel CSA so he doesn't have to pay for him. He has nothing at all to do with him and he also got my son on a child protection plan for violence whilst I was pregnant- the letter he has sent says if he agrees to the name change that I am liable for all his court costs etc if I take it to court and that I "have to" cancel CSA payments and I'm not allowed to talk to people about why Dexter is on a child protection plan- surely this isn't right- can anybody advice me on what to do next?

SeparatedDads Editor 26/09/2017 at 12:14 pm

You will not lose your parental responsibility rights if you allow your child's mother to change his name. You are still his legal father by birth whatever name he goes under.

Loki 25/09/2017 at 7:47 pm

If I agree to my ex changing my sons last name do I loose my legal rights as I am on the birth certificate

SeparatedDads Editor 10/08/2017 at 11:57 am

You can see more via the DeedPoll link here which should answer your question.

Benj 09/08/2017 at 8:02 am

Hello, I have recently been informed by my child's grandmother that they have changed my child's second name without my permission via deed poll. I am on the birth certificate and the child has my last name. Can I file criminal charges as this is techniqually fraud? I really don't know where to go with this! Thanks in advance!

SeparatedDads Editor 24/07/2017 at 4:08 pm

You can apply for parental responsibility through the courts if your ex will not agree.

Martin. 23/07/2017 at 5:30 pm

Hi my ex partner not only didnt tell me when my son was born but purposely registered our son and named him without my agreeing so that i have no perental resposibility to him, what steps can i take in regards to getting his name changed and me put on his birth certificate ?

SeparatedDads Editor 18/07/2017 at 2:36 pm

Family uniformity is considered important. If the whole family has the same surname it is highly unlikely a court would force your ex to change your children's names again.

Rob 18/07/2017 at 11:53 am

I have recently been to court and won parental responsibility of my 7 and 10 year old children (I wasn't on their birth certs) the mother changed their surnames by deed poll to her partners surname, the same as their new baby and changed herself and older child, this was done without informing me because I didn't have PR before, and their previous names were her maiden name, what chance have I got to change them to mine? Or even back to their original names?

SeparatedDads Editor 10/07/2017 at 10:45 am

Much depends upon whether your partner has changed your children's names officially via Deed Poll or unofficially. In order to change the names by Deed Poll, she would have to have your permission if you have parental responsibility of your children. If you are not registered as the father on their birth certificates and do not have PR, then your partner can change their surnames without your permission. Also, she can change them unofficially via school and GP etc without your permission. This would mean your name would remain on official documents such as their passport etc, but they would be known through the school through a different name. If she has changed their names fraudulently without your permission (), you would have the option to request the names are changed back, or take the matter to court for the court to decide what it thinks is in your children's best interests.

Pagey 09/07/2017 at 4:40 pm

My partner has changed my kids names with my permission she never asked me to do it is this right

Si 05/07/2017 at 6:34 pm

Hello there,
Ive got 2 children 8 & 9.
Ive read all the stories but...
The story is very long and painful including the courts and was find wrong in all the cases.
I'm sure my ex had changed my children surnames without my permission (we r separated).
I know it's illegal but I'm sure she did it by asking her boyfriend to help her to be me and give a permission (she cheating all the time and doesn't bother to be responsible )
What are solutions? And how can I check it to be 100% sure?
Regards

SeparatedDads Editor 26/06/2017 at 12:32 pm

Much depends upon whether the name has been changed officially i.e on his passport etc. If his name has been changed officially, then your ex would have had to request your permission, please see Deed Poll link here which should give you more information.

Guy 23/06/2017 at 8:23 pm

Hi.my son is now 16 years old.broke up with his mum when he was 2 years old.my son is confused as he has just found out his mum changed his name to here ex partners surname when he was 7 years old. I'm his real father always paid child maintenance for the last 16 years I am on his birth certificate ECT.im as confused as he is we are both upset that his name was changed to one of his mother's many exe, can you tell me was this legal? Was she allowed to change his surname to a total strangers without my permission? Thank you guy

SeparatedDads Editor 16/06/2017 at 10:21 am

Every non-resident parent has to pay child maintenance by law, regardless of whether they see their child or not. Child access and child maintenance have no bearing on each other, which means you will have to continue paying to help support your child. If you are earning between £100 -£199 per week you would be on a reduced rate, you can see how much you should be paying via the CMS calculator here . Only if you have fallen into arrears may you have to pay a larger percentage of your earnings. With regards to your child not wishing to see you, sometimes relationship building takes time. Perhaps you could join a group that will offer to support you trying to get your relationship with your daughter back on firmer ground, please see Families Need Fathers link here as talking to others in a similar position will help. Your daughter is only eight years of age, she may be saying things to you out of hurt and anger. Trying to get to the bottom of why she doesn't want to see you, should be your first course of action. This sometimes does not mean asking her directly, but talking to others that can help you look at the issue from a different perspective and perhaps take a different route.

ants 15/06/2017 at 1:50 pm

Hi, my 8 year old girl has decided she no longer wants to have me in her life she says she hates me and wants me to die, she lives with her mum and her mum supports her decision and encourages it, its killing me inside but if thats what dhe wants I will give her her wish. She also wannts to change her name to. I may aswel agree ad I have no fight left in me. I haven't seen her since November 2016, but I am still being charged astronomical amounts of money by the csa, and I earn less than 500 a month. Sometimes they take 100 pound of that. Do I by law have to continue paying?

PM 14/06/2017 at 7:29 am

Think of your children - not yourself, all she is wanting to do is add her surname, she's not wanting to take yours away, when the girls are at school they are going to forever have to explain why mummy has got a different surname to them, is that fair on them - allow them to have both your surnames......allow them to be proud of both their parents

Iain 31/05/2017 at 8:37 pm

I have two children and have separated from their mum over eight years. The children have my surname and I do have in place a court order to see them during the week, however I had a falling out and they have both stopped seeing me. I have not returned back to the courts as I can't afford the fees. I pay monthly child maintenance.
A friend on mine noticed that my daughter is on Facebook with a different surname. I've not had any formal notice that she has changed her surname! How can I find out if she has changed her name?
If she has changed her surname, do I still have to make maintenance payments? Do I need to inform child maintenance?

Thank you

SeparatedDads Editor 18/05/2017 at 10:35 am

If your child's dad is registered on the birth certificate and has parental responsibility, then you will have to ask his consent if you wish to change your daughter's name by Deed Poll.

Lou 17/05/2017 at 11:57 am

Hi my daughter is 13 and hasnt had contact with her dad since she was 2,,do i need his permission to change her surname to my maiden name

Cj 09/05/2017 at 2:28 pm

I have a daughter from a relationship 8 years ago, we split up just after her 1st birthday, he was an alcoholic and became violent towards me even threatening to have my throat cut when my little one was a mere month old, he's never helped with her upbringing or made any effort to see her, I'm now in a secure relationship and getting married this year, my daughter calls him daddy even though she knows she has a biological father, she has expressed that when we get married she wants to have the same name as us, I'm too scared to contact her real father for fear of him finding me, the police were informed when he made threats and hurt me, what rights do I have to let my little girl change her name?

SeparatedDads Editor 09/05/2017 at 11:35 am

Yes, you are still classed by law as being responsible for paying child maintenance. Biologically your daughter is still your daughter, regardless of whether she has changed her name. Therefore, this does not change your parental responsibility rights or financial responsibilities.

Clarkeyyyyyy 08/05/2017 at 11:22 am

Hi my daughter has changed her last name which was her mum's name to her stepfathers name should I still b paying CSA, to me he is classed as her father now not me ,thanks .

SeparatedDads Editor 28/04/2017 at 2:25 pm

Your ex could unofficially change their names without your authority i.e through school, GP etc. In this case the name on their birth certificate and passports would remain the same. Your ex could also apply to court to have the names changed by Deed Poll. If she was still using your name and merely wished to add her name, then it is highly likely the court would allow this. Therefore, it may be easier to say yes, as it's not as though she is trying to eliminate your connection to your children. It seems for ease and uniformity, she just wishes to add her own.

R 28/04/2017 at 8:29 am

My ex and I were never married and my little girls aged 3 live with her but i see then 4 days a week and obviously pay financial support as well as active in their lives.

because we were not married my ex wants to change the surname to a double barreled surname which incorporates here surname too which i do not want .

If she takes action to do this is she likely to be succesful in this?

any help is appreciated?

Sglover 27/03/2017 at 1:28 pm

I have 2 older boys wirh my x..and now 3 more with my now husband . We are all the same surname as my husband apart from the 2 older boys. They both want to be called the same surname, they are 9 and 10 and i have just had a no contact order put in place due to there dad messi g them about all there life and nkt putting there needs first..how would i go about changing there name ..and no there father would not give permission..but with a no contact order would i need his permission .tia

Jennie 20/03/2017 at 6:57 am

Hi I have 3 children but my eldest has his fathers surname me and his father still talk if needed and my son still sees his father when he wants to but he's 12 and has a teenage life so often just forgets he's got to see him but put this aside his father is on the birth certificate . I have 2 other children born in my new relationship both named after my new partner and we are also married we have been together for 11 years so it's not a fling or rebound . Anyway my question is could I possibly have our new family name in my sons name I don't want to take away the fact he's his fathers son but he often feels left out as he's the only one of 12 grandkids on my husbands side who has a different name he has 2 sisters with our family name and there's only him with the different name please could I have some information about how I would do this where do I go and if it's at all possible thankyou very much

Toni 18/03/2017 at 10:52 pm

Hi, my husband has a parental responsibility for he's 2 daughters. He also has a child arrangement order in place that also states the children can not be known by any other name.
On the 13th January he's ex decided to remove the children and go to a women's refuge (under false claims) we've taken it back to court but while doing this she has changed her own name by deed poll and is trying to change he's daughters names too. We believe she probably hasn't said there is a court order in place etc.

Where does my husband stand etc?

SeparatedDads Editor 14/03/2017 at 12:35 pm

Your ex may have chosen to change your child's name informally, i.e through school/GP etc. You would have to check your child's birth certificate to see whether his name has been changed officially. However, I imagine this is not the case as your ex would have needed written authorisation from you.

Joshward1991 13/03/2017 at 7:13 pm

Hi,
My ex has stopped me from seeing my son since she has a new boyfriend. So im going to take legal route as shes not able to be nature about it. Hes 6 months old and I haven't seen him for a month now. But shes changed his surname from mine to hers. Im on the birth certificate and was wondering how she managed to do this without me even knowing. as far as I knew I thought I would have had to give me concent and if I didnt it (which i wouldnt have) would go to court.
Im not sure what right she has to do so such a thing.

SeparatedDads Editor 10/03/2017 at 12:35 pm

A court can grant you a divorce if you can show you have taken all reasonable steps to try to pursue a divorce, but for whatever reason you are unable to serve the divorce papers. You can also serve the papers via a close relative of his, or to his workplace if you know where he works. If your ex has ignored the order, you can apply to the court for an 'order that the petition be deemed to have been served’. You would have to make a statement explaining why you think a judge should make this order. However, your solicitor should have been able/ be able to advise you regarding this. With regards to your ex seeing his son, a court cannot/will not force this issue, in other words force your ex to see his son. I hope this helps.

nik 09/03/2017 at 1:47 pm

i have been trying to get divorced for nearly 3 years now. my ex and i have a 5 year old trouble is he jumps in and out of my sons life when he feels like it. he plans to take him out and he never shows then he dodges him for months on end after that cant get a hold of him. i really am at my wits end with this situation. i want to get a divorce but i cant get a hold of my ex. i started my divorce process over 2 years ago but he doesnt answer back to any letters from my lawyer. what can i do if there is a child involved but the father is absent ( i say he can see my boy but he doesnt want to) please help

JPDD 03/03/2017 at 7:42 am

My daughter is the result of sperm donation IVF.
My now ex-partner is being very difficult and is threatening to remove my name from the birth certificate.
There has never been any domestic violence or any reported abuse... I have beenjoyed subject to tirades of abuse from time to time but would never report her as it would affect our daughter.
Can she do this or is it just more emotional blackmail?

SeparatedDads Editor 21/02/2017 at 10:41 am

You don't say whether you are registered on the birth certificate and/or have Parental Responsibility. If you are on the birth certificate your ex would have to ask your consent. - please see Family Lives whichIf you are not registered on the birth certificate, then your ex can apply for her partner to adopt your child without consent. However, this is only applicable to the UK. If you are from US, in addition adoption can be applied for if the other parent is considered to have abandoned the child. Regarding the name change, if you are living in the UK and if you have PR then your ex can change the name of your child officially only with consent. However, she can change your child's name 'unofficially' without consent at school, GP, etc - but this would mean your name would remain on her birth certificate.

Papa 20/02/2017 at 7:25 am

I have not seen my daughter for over 3 years. Simply because I had way to much drama with the ex and decided that it was better for both our kids not to hve to go through that hell. I've tried to contact her through social media to avoid a fight face to face but was ignored and blocked same for my fince. She is very hostel and so is her family so for me to show up at their front step was not an option. Recently my 4 yr old has been begging to meet her sister so I decided maybe now that she has more kids she might of matured so I tried looking online for my child at the school district website I had no leads. So I looked up the mom and find out she got married and had filed for adoption. I'm sure she changed my kids name and that's why I could not find her .is there a possibility she forged my signature on paper work she has used my identity to open a time Warner account because I left paperwork with ssn and ID so I made it easy for her but found out once I tried getting the service at my home

SeparatedDads Editor 10/02/2017 at 9:58 am

No, your partner would still retain parental responsibility over his children. The name of his children may change, but his status as the father and his rights and responsibilities wlll remain.

lw 09/02/2017 at 2:11 am

Hi everyone
My partner has two children to his ex partner he is on the birth certificate but the children are In his ex's name. The two were never married. However, she is getting married to her new partner and wants to change the children's name to his. We were wondering if this would mean that my partner loses rights and the mother's soon to be husband would gain rigjts .

SeparatedDads Editor 25/01/2017 at 10:59 am

I suppose the big question is 'what's in a name'? Your daughter is still your daughter whatever name she goes under. If your ex wishes to change your daughter's name by Deed Poll and you disagreed, then she would have to take the matter through court. The court will make a decision based upon what it thinks is in your daughter's best interests. Having a uniform family name is considered of importance, if your ex and your daughter both want this. Therefore, it is likely the court will agree. Likewise, if your ex wanted to change your daughter's name informally via school, GP etc, then she can do this without your permission. Therefore, you can either decide to agree to the name change knowing that it still will not affect your relationship with your daughter or your parental responsibility and possibly in the future she might even wish to change it back, or will get married and take her husband's name. Or, you can fight it - it all depends upon which stance you wish to take.

Hodgey 24/01/2017 at 12:58 pm

Hi I wonder if you can help. My ex partner (never married) asked me if she could change our now 10 year old daughters surname to her new married name as my daughter wants to have the same name as her mum and new baby sister. I refused but now my daughter is also asking me to approve this as she wants her mums name. I'm not happy to do this but will my ex be able to change it at school etc without my permission and if so can I request it be changed back? We are in Scotland.Thanks.

SeparatedDads Editor 13/01/2017 at 2:27 pm

Unless your ex applies for child maintenance, then you will not have to pay. However, regardless of whether she changes your child's name to hers or whether you wanted your child or not, if she chooses to apply you will be made responsible for supporting your child by law.

50 dad 12/01/2017 at 10:36 pm

My wife was artificial inseminated and our child is now 1 years old. I am 50 and really did not want more children after my first wife. We have only been married less than 3 years. So I told her I would do this with her. Well she left with the kid 6 months ago and now wants to change his name to hers. And wants a Devore and that's fine I think she just wants to do this on her own. She's a good mom and I wish them the best. She makes much more money than I and we both agreed child support would not be an issue if we ever split. If she does all this will I still be served child support? What if we both agree to no child support? Thanks

MarkF78 Editor 01/12/2016 at 2:33 pm

@kuch - no she would still need your consent if you are registered on the brith certiricate MF

kuch 01/12/2016 at 1:11 am

can a court of law grant my x change of my daughter's surname without my or my family consent while am in jaik

kuch 20/11/2016 at 12:58 am

My x changed my daughter's surname while am in jail,what can i do to get my name back on my daughter's birthcertificate pls

SeparatedDads Editor 07/11/2016 at 2:12 pm

As the comment below; much depends on whether your ex has changed the surname officially by Deed Poll or not. If she has changed the name by Deed Poll without your permission, then you would need to seek legal advice if you wish to pursue the matter. If she has changed the name unofficially, through school, GP etc, then there isn't much you can really do, as their 'official' name i.e your surname will remain the same on your daughter's passport etc.

SeparatedDads Editor 07/11/2016 at 10:38 am

Much depends on whether your ex has changed the surname officially by Deed Poll or not. If she has changed the name by Deed Poll without your permission, then you would need to seek legal advice if you wish to pursue the matter. If she has changed their name unofficially, through school, GP etc, then there isn't much you can really do, as their 'official' name i.e your surname will remain the same on their passport etc.

Pj 06/11/2016 at 9:11 am

Who do I contact in relation to my ex partner changing my kids surname

Hughes 05/11/2016 at 1:21 pm

I have just found out my ex has changed my daughters names to her husbands is this possible with out my consent

SeparatedDads Editor 13/10/2016 at 1:53 pm

Yes, you would still be eligible to pay CSA to the aunty your daughter is living with. However, likewise so would your ex. Therefore, you may wish to speak to the CSA/CMS regarding this. Your ex would not be legally able to change your daughter's surname without your consent unless you were not contactable for a period of time.

Jimbob 12/10/2016 at 11:21 pm

For ten years I never seen my daughter. I payed csa.found out her surname had been changed to my x surname. Even got a passport in my x surname. I have parental rights and was never told. Can she do this.got to meet my daughter this year who has moved in with her aunty. My daughter who 16 in February 2017 do I have to pay the aunty csa. She has not got parental permission

SeparatedDads Editor 13/09/2016 at 10:08 am

I'm afraid as we are a UK-based site, we can only advise on UK-based family law, therefore you would have to seek US legal advice. I hope you manage to sort it out.

Chris 12/09/2016 at 6:28 am

I was married when my son was born. I was present when he was born. We seperated 45 days later. The state of Indiana gave her legal guardianship. It has been 5 years. I pay child support and am current. Last month she got my sons name changed without my permission. The courts have my current address and phone number. I was never contacted by phone or mail. I have no criminal record. Do I have any rights at all??? Can they not only take my only son from me but erase my name too???

Des 09/09/2016 at 7:31 pm

The mother of my kids has forged my signature to change my children's surname to hers. I have parental responsibility. She was able to do this by getting hold of a solicitors stamp and forging mine and a known lawyers signiture on a amateur written document. How am I able to find out if she has changed their passports and what is the prison sentence for this if any

SeparatedDads Editor 31/08/2016 at 11:31 am

You can order a birth certificate via the gov.uk site here. Please be aware that if your ex has registered you as the father and decides to claim child maintenance then you will be responsible until you can prove you are not the father. The only way to prove you are not, would be either to request your ex does a DNA test and if she refuses you would have to apply through the courts.

Salam544 30/08/2016 at 2:31 pm

Hi
This is bit of a weird one I know. My ex has recently had a baby (not mine) and there's a rumour that she added me as the father because she had our marriage certificate even though we were divorced before she fell pregnant.
Is there a way I can check this out because we had a very messy break up and there's no way she would tell me either way

Skye 12/08/2016 at 11:08 pm

My my ex wife has let my daughter change her full name because she apparently wants to be a boy. She is 16 and I was informed if this by text on father day. The name hasn't got my surname or ex wife's surname. I pay csa but have stopped it. I haven't given permission for this. What are my rights with regards to permission and paying csa?

SeparatedDads Editor 19/07/2016 at 10:10 am

There are two different ways to change a child's surname, one is by Deed Poll. The only way to do this without your permission is listed in the article under the header: Can They Go Ahead Without Permission? If the list is not applicable to you, then the only way your ex can change your daughter's name by Deed Poll is if your ex can prove to the courts that she cannot contact you. However, if you pay CSA this means you are easily contactable and therefore, any court application would not go ahead without requesting your consent. The other way to change a child's name is informally (which does not need your permission). This means your ex can approach the school, GP, etc and request that your child goes under a different name. While this is permissable, it does not mean there will be any change on your child's birth certificate or passport i.e your surname will remain your daughter's official name. If your ex has forged a passport signature, you should contact the passport office to report this. If you wish to check whether your child still has your name, then you can double check through your local register office. I hope this helps clarify matters.

Simon 18/07/2016 at 6:58 am

I haven't seen my daughter for four years. I still pay CSA.
I just been told that my x as change my daughter surname to hers. When my aunty said to her that you can't do that. She said she can cause her dad have had contact with her...
Is this true can any body help me.
And I found out that my x signed my signature so my daughter can get a passport.

Marko 13/07/2016 at 10:51 am

Me and my X partner have split up and she has told me she is getting married and is trying for kids and wants too change his surname too her partner surname . Evan when my child was born I took her surname instead of mine can she change this ?

Emma 12/07/2016 at 5:41 pm

The father of my child has endless amounts of debts from phone companies, insurance companies, credit cards and I worry that it will be passed onto my 5 year old son at some point. My ex runs away from his debts by constantly moving house . Would I still not be able to officially change my son's surname? His father will definitely not give his consent to do so.

SeparatedDads Editor 17/06/2016 at 2:22 pm

Your ex can change your child's name unofficially i.e school, doctors etc. However, in order to change your child's name officially, as specified in the article, your ex would have to ask for your consent. It is unlikely the court would allow a name change unless your ex either has your permission, or been able to categorically prove that she has been unable to trace or contact you via all means possible and over a specific period of time, in order to request your permission.

Gooddad 16/06/2016 at 7:35 pm

Supposing my ex changed our child's surname without my permission, I have PR and regular contact 2 nights a week. What are they ACTUAL consequences of changing surname without my consent or even falsifying permission to change the name.

SeparatedDads Editor 07/06/2016 at 2:52 pm

There is little you can do here, unless you wish to take the matter to court. Your daughter will still officially have your surname, as your ex cannot change it legally without your consent if you have Parental Responsibility. However, she can change the name informally i.e; school, doctors etc.

AceT 07/06/2016 at 3:14 am

Hi I have recently discovered that my ex partner has registered my 3 1/2 year old daughter at her nursery as her own surname. We've had a disagreement in the past about changing her surname and it seems like she is doing it backhandedly knowing i'll never agree, with her due to start school next year I'm concerned that she will register her under the wrong surname and actively try to convince my daughter as she grows with the wrong name, to change it when she's older, what can I do?

SeparatedDads Editor 17/05/2016 at 10:07 am

As specified in the article, you don’t have to follow a legal process to start using a new name, and it sounds that this could be what has happened in this instance. If your ex wanted to change your daughter's name officially, then if you have parental responsibility for your daughter your ex would have asked for your consent. The only way she could have avoided this was if she could prove there was no way of contacting you. So, for instance if you pay child maintenance then you could easily be traced. I have included a CAB link here which will explain in more detail and answer your question regarding checking records etc.

SeparatedDads Editor 16/05/2016 at 12:14 pm

Yes, unless your ex's parnter has adopted your child, then as you are considered the biological parent you will be responsible for paying child maintenance until your child reaches at least the age of 16.

MJRose 16/05/2016 at 11:06 am

Hi,
My ex went 'MIA' over 4 years ago with our daughter and I've recently tracked her down and have started to build a relationship with my daughter again. However, when my daughter and I were talking she informed me her name is now something else. For example she was registered with my surname 'blue' and at school etc is registered as 'blue yellow' yellow being my exes surname and my ex claiming blue is her middle name.. Hope that makes sense. Is there a way I can find out if my ex has changed our daughters name my deed poll? Also, is there a way I can request through school that her legal surname be used rather than this made up one? Thanks in advance!!!

Dan 15/05/2016 at 4:24 pm

Hi
My ex wife moved my child to Scotland from England as she wanted her new partner be the sole farther figure in my child's life. When she got married again she asked to change my child's name by deed poll. Which I allowed. The last time I had contact with my child she was three she's 10 now. Do I have to still pay maintance? My living costs are limited due to high work travel costs.

SeparatedDads Editor 11/05/2016 at 2:04 pm

Has your ex changed his name by Deed Poll or informally (i.e at school, doctors etc?) If she has changed your son's name informally then you can request for it to be changed back by contacting the school and GP etc. However, if she has had it changed by Deed Poll (which would be tricky if you are on the birth certificate as she would need your consent) then you would have to apply through the courts to have the name changed back.

tman 10/05/2016 at 8:19 pm

My ex changed my son's last name to her's and never asked my permission. I am on the birth certificate and had full access to him with every other week access. I now how child full time as child was removed from mother year and half ago by children services. First question: how was she able to change his name without my consent. Second question: should I be able to get it changed back to his original surname that he had.

SeparatedDads Editor 04/04/2016 at 3:07 pm

If you have parental responsibility then your ex would have to ask for your consent if she wishes to change the name by deed poll. If you refuse, then she would have to take the matter to court. However, there is nothing to stop her changing the name unofficially either i.e through the school and GP. But remember, a name is just a name, but your daughter is your daughter and nothing can change that.

Snoozer 03/04/2016 at 9:24 pm

My Ex has informed me that she wants to change my 11 yo daughters first name to a new spelling and surname to hew new partners surname although they are not married. If my ex was getting married to her new partner I could understand it but she is not. I feel as though my views are not accepted as due to low income and debts I am unable to provide financially for my daughters upkeep as it takes all my spare money just to visit her on my weekends to have her. It doesnt help that my ex has had a new child with her current partner. Any advice would be appreciated.

Lottiemy 26/03/2016 at 6:14 pm

My two grand children live with my ex daughter in law who has remarried. The eldest is 16 and his sister is 13. They both have the Burman surname on their birth certificates. My son has now found out that his son now has her husbands surname on his driving licence and insurance card Now she wants my son to agree to his daughter changing her surname to the husbands surname how does he stand regards maintenance payments that he regularly makes will he still be liable to pay for them until they are 18 years old

Independent 24/03/2016 at 7:38 am

Hi Good day to all, I would like to ask a piece of advice, I am a single mom who have a 11 y/o illegitimate child acknowledge by his biological father. and I am planning to changed his surname to use mine. if ever he didn't agree to give a consent is there any other option in order to change it?

He didn't support my child in the last 3 years. but before he is supporting my son by paying his tuition fee. (From grade 1-3)
He didn't even visit my son to my mom's house. he didn't show any interest!
looking forward to hear from you. Thanks a lot!

SeparatedDads Editor 21/03/2016 at 12:46 pm

As his mother, you have the last decision about whether you wish to change your child's name or not. It is unlikley that a court would force you to change it either.

Bla Bla 18/03/2016 at 8:35 pm

My ex and I were no longer together upon registration of the birth of my baby. He is therefore not on the birth certificate. He is in the process of having his name added to the birth certificate.
However he wants me to chance my son's name...not surname but added another Christian name. Thereby circumnavigating restrictions around changing the surname. But the effect would be exactly the same. It may as well be a double barrel and therefore i feel it interferes with the family unit of the child and I sharing the same surname. I really don't want to change my child's name. I can't care seeing my ex's name infront of me even on an email. He is threatening me with a court order to change it.

Sharkey 18/03/2016 at 2:38 pm

My ex partner changed my sons last name so his last name was double barreled. Recently it has come to my attention she has informed the shool he attends to drop my last name and to keep his. We went through court for the change of name. Is there anything I can do?

SeparatedDads Editor 11/03/2016 at 2:11 pm

If your ex changed it when you were not registered on the birth certificate, then unfortunately there is very little you can do.

Fayce 11/03/2016 at 1:46 am

Hi,

The mother of my son has apparently changed our son's surname without my consent and without informing me and without highlighting this point during the 1st court order sealed 3 years ago (enabling me to have parental responsability and contact). Apparently she has changed it by deed pol when i was not on the birth certificate.
Is she risking to be in trouble with the court if i sue her in court as she has been deliberately hidding this information during the 1st court order and then providing wrong information (our son's surname) to the court?

Thanks

SeparatedDads Editor 10/03/2016 at 10:47 am

I think in this case this is something you may need to discuss between you. She can drop your name informally without asking for permission (i.e schools, doctors etc). However, if she wanted to change it officially, your ex would have to ask your consent. If you can't sort it out between you, Mediation may be a good option to consider, if you do not want to consider mediation, then your ex would have to take the matter to court.

Maxiee 09/03/2016 at 9:54 am

Hi my ex partner wants to change my son last name to her, but he has a double barrel name which consists of her last name and mine. We havent had a disagreement i have my son for tea one night a week and then full weekend every other week, im on his birth certificate as well i just need some advice can she do this as its not fair isnt it confussing for my son as bd nearly 6. Thank you any advise will be much appreciated.

Mouse 19/02/2016 at 4:27 pm

My ex and I don't get on we had 2 children now 13 and 11 if she changes their surname do I still have to make csa payments

Rose 30/01/2016 at 8:03 am

My daughter is legally married but separated , 3 yrs but is now pregnant with new partner how and what is law in naming baby can she use her Madiam name wilson or new partners name

Nate 09/01/2016 at 5:21 am

My son's mother has somehow managed to change my son's surname without me knowing or even consenting, my son is just turning 4 end of January and I have been told by a number of people that are still in contact with her that she forged my signature so the courts would grant the change, any idea's on how I can get the revoked or if not sorted out as its classed as fraud and want some idea on what steps to take, in order for me to take it back to court would cost me and im not at the moment in a financial state to pay such amounts, just want a some tips so I can take the correct option. Any response at all would be deeply appreciated.

SeparatedDads Editor 07/01/2016 at 12:57 pm

You are entitled to refuse your ex's request to change the name. However, your ex may be able to take this to court and the court will decide. If she is arguing for consistency of the family unit, then the court would take this into consideration and what it thinks is in the best interests of your child when making its decision.

AAAArrrrgh!!!! 06/01/2016 at 7:15 pm

My ex-wife has decided to re-marry this year she already makes my 6 year old daughter call him dad (she gets into trouble if she doesn't) I see her 3 times a week and every other weekend and pay an agreed amount of child support there are rumblings that she may want to change my little girls surname as she is "traditional" and wants a "proper family unit". I love my daughter very much and am not going to give permission for a name change or a double-barrel name and definitely not going to let him adopt her. My ex has not fulfilled all of the criteria of the consent order from the divorce (I'm still on the mortgage) which leaves myself and my partner and her son in a state of limbo as we can't buy our own place. But for the moment I would like to make sure my daughter's name stay the same. Any help is appreciated

SeparatedDads Editor 17/12/2015 at 10:39 am

You do not have to change your child's name back. If you feel your ex is harassing you, I hope this helps.

Ladyb 16/12/2015 at 10:00 am

I'm in a situation at the moment which is very frutstrating, I was in an demestic abusive relationship with my ex parter on and off for a year we had a baby girl together who is now 3 months old and the father has left me he has tried to make my life hell where the police had to get involved eg. Tried to take my daughter away etc... Police givin him a no contact and things where okay until I changed my daughters name to my last name, now my ex wants to get it changed back, he's never been in my child's life or paid for her...he abuses me and my family and he did text my dad saying he wants nothing to do with my daughter and I can be a single mum but then he wants to see her yet he refuses to do any meetings supervised eg.. At my dads house or contact centre, he said he will take me court to change the name back but i have a feeling this is just him trying to get "control" over me again? This has lead to conversation through text which I have saved. What are my rights regarding this?

SeparatedDads Editor 08/12/2015 at 2:19 pm

You can apply to have the child's name changed if the father has Parental Responsibility and gives consent. If the father refuses to give consent, then you can apply via the courts. Legal aid is very thin on the gorund these days, but you could self-litigate, please see article: Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, here. I hope this helps.

Duke 07/12/2015 at 8:01 pm

Hi. My partner of 5 years has just informed me that she would like her daughter who is under 16 to have my surname. I am happy for this to happen due to the following reasons. Her paternal grandfather is in prison for 10 years for paedophilia and there are concerns that if he were to be released early or even if he was to serve the full term, he could effectively find her by her current surname. My partner has PR but as neither of us work due to health reasons, can we seek legal aid for this matter? Kind regards.

Manny 28/11/2015 at 9:55 pm

My 16 year old daughter got in touch with me a few days ago to try and salvage a broken down rship due to lots of reasons that I won't get into! I also have 2 younger children from the same rship. On getting to talk to her I have learnt my ex has changed all 3 children's last name! I have never been informed or asked about this!! It has been done through deed poll or solicitor! Is this legal and do I have rights to get this over turned!!
Also she has got in touch regarding csa payments! I really am upset and would like to know where I stand with this too

SamU Editor 25/11/2015 at 12:48 pm

@GM Many mothers opt to give their children their own surname, there certainly is no legality to give the partner's surname or even the husband's (if you were married). A name is just a name, so I shouldn't worry it is the relationship with your daughter that counts. If it makes you feel better, you could suggest she double-barrrels it maybe.

GM 24/11/2015 at 8:23 pm

Me and my girlfriend are in a long distance relationship. She fell pregnant in January last year. Our baby girl is now 7 weeks old. As I live and work in a different part of the country she went and registered her without me which I thought was fair enough I will register her when I'm next down as I'm down to see them both every weekend when I'm not working. I just presumed from the start my daughter would have my surname but after bringing it up in conversation my girlfriend said she is keeping our daughters name as her surname. I've been there as much as I possibly can, through everything! I know this isn't a big deal to some people but I feel like I've been stabbed in the back. It's really getting to me and getting me down. Not really got anyone to talk to so just wondered what you guys think I should do? Thanks.

SeparatedDads Editor 20/11/2015 at 12:47 pm

If you wish to do this officially then, you can change your child’s name at any time — so long as they’re under the age of 16 years. You don’t have to have a valid reason, but everyone with parental responsibility must agree to the change. Please see Deed Poll Office whichI hope this helps.

Freddie 19/11/2015 at 8:27 pm

Hi all,

New here!! My ex girlfriend & I have a great relationship despite our terrible relationship as a couple (we got pregnant after 6 weeks together with identical boys who are 3 next month). I am on the birth certificate, see them twice a week & have them over every other weekend. We still do joint family days out etc.

I have since bought a new house with my current partner who has just given birth to my 3rd son & they all have my surname!!

My ex has asked me to double-barrel our twins last name, I do want to do this as I believe I'm a great daddy & am very proud they have my last name. I am unsure where I stand LEGALLY.

Any Ideas anyone???? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

All the best,

Freddie

Shan 12/11/2015 at 5:06 pm

Hi my dad has my brother living with him he was previously living with my mother but she remarried and insists that she has changed my brothers name. My dad is on the birth cert and was sent a letter 2 years ago from a solicitor asking to agree to changing his name which he declined. As my dad now has my brother living with him he asked my mum for his birth cert and change of name deeds for the doctors in which she gave him his birth cert and medical card which both were registered as Mitchell and no change of name deeds as she said she cannot find them. So my question is wouldn't his medical card be registered in his new name if she managed to change it? How could my dad find out if my brothers names been changed or not?

SeparatedDads Editor 05/11/2015 at 1:59 pm

You can apply via the courts and the courts often give consent for the name change, if the new name is consistent within a family unit. You would have apply for a Specific Issue Orders, which are orders sought from the family court to determine a particular matter in connection with the exercise of Parental Responsibility. These orders can cover a wide range of issues that you and your ex-partner cannot agree on, such as:
whether your child or children should change their name(s). As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. I hope this helps.

krissy 04/11/2015 at 9:19 pm

I have a bit of a complex question. I have been married to my husband for 6 years and my daughter has been known by our married name since then and her bio father never had a problem with it, even sent her mail with her 'known as' name. She now has a brother with the same name too.

My problem is that i need it official as we are moving to an area where she cannot be 'known as' she will be called whatever is on her birth cirtificate. I feel this is not fair at 8 years old to have to now have a different surname,

He bio father has said no to the 'official'change as he feels he will lose his link..... to a child that has never known or used the name she was registered with.

Basically i am thinking of trying to obtain a court order to get the name changed officially without his permission as it is in her best interest and he has agreed and called her by her family surname for years. Has anyone had this problem, or think i will be wasting my time by trying to get this sorted??

SeparatedDads Editor 04/11/2015 at 2:52 pm

Yes, we have answered this below.

SeparatedDads Editor 04/11/2015 at 11:39 am

It sounds like emotions are running high over this and you really need to keep things in persepctive. Your ex would not have been able to change the names by Deed Poll legally without specifiying you were uncontactable and were not in the children's life. So, you first of all need to ascertain whether the names have been changed informally i.e at school etc, or officially i.e passport etc. You obviously have parental rights as it is rare that any parent can have Parental Responsibility taken from them. It sounds to me there is a lot of hot-air and bluster being talked here. If you still have access to your children, I would not worry. Try and keep away from the threats, neither issue any in retaliation and concentrate on the relationship with your children as you will always be their dad to them, regardless.

Jon 03/11/2015 at 9:12 pm

Hello I asked a question and I was wondering if you had any advice on the matter. It's the post that is signed off with cracker . I sent it to you all needing advice and i was wondering it you have got to it yet

Cracker 03/11/2015 at 8:31 am

Three years ago my ex got remarried and changed my kids name to his with out my written consent . When I found out about what she did I was extremely mad. I told her to change it back or I will not pay another dime of child support ? They also keep saying that I have no parental rights now ? Umm I don't understand how they can be saying these type of things. Her new husband insists that he is now their legal guardian and I have no parental rights? So now they want to come after me for back owed child support ? I have no criminal record and nothing on my background ? from my understanding I have to give permission for them to do the name change . Right ?? Also if they keep saying I have no parental rights to the kids that means that he adopted the kids? In both instances don't they have to notify me ?? What are my chances when I go to court over this ? Could someone please enlighten me .

SeparatedDads Editor 22/10/2015 at 2:54 pm

She would have to apply through the courts to have your son's name changed by Deed Poll, if you have not consented and it would be up to the court decide. As specified in the article, permission to change the child’s name will only go ahead if the court considers it is in the child’s best interests. The court will consider a number of factors in making this decision, including but not limited to, any contact and commitment to the relationship between parent and child.

pdpaul1922 21/10/2015 at 8:23 pm

My ex and I split up some 4 months ago and she took my son with her I have not seen him since. She rang me 2 months ago demanding I consent to changing his double barrel surname to hers alone. I am named on the birth cert and have parental responsibility for him. I am appearing in court next month charged with harassment (all lies she has made up). Would this be enough for her to change his name? I of course refused to consent to the name change and his full name is listed on the CSA papers is there any way I can check to make sure she hasn't changed his name without my consent ? I am concerned as she changed her name in 2010

SeparatedDads Editor 29/09/2015 at 2:23 pm

As specified in the article, she will need to get consent from the father (if he has parental responsibility) if she wishes to officially change her children's names by Deed Poll. If she wants to unofficially change the names, i.e, in school etc, then she does not need consent.

helen 28/09/2015 at 4:58 pm

hey my niece has broke up from her ex has been for good few months now can he change her kids names without her permission or does she needs to give consent if she is the main career of the children she is scared about it

SeparatedDads Editor 25/08/2015 at 1:04 pm

. The article explains whether an ex can change a name under the header: Can They Go Ahead Without Permission? It lists the reasons when an ex can go ahead. However, if the names are changed non-legally, such as through the school etc, then this is not illegal, as their original surnames will still appear on passports and birth certificates etc.

mrshb 24/08/2015 at 7:31 pm

My husband's ex changed the childrens' names several years ago, after we got married. They were never married but his name is on all three birth certificates. He saw them every other weekend, every other Wednesday, half-term, etc. Maintenance was paid every month (and then some). Out of the blue, she had their names changed without permission. Was that even legal?

NONE 23/08/2015 at 3:12 pm

MY SON HAS A SON OF 16 AND A DAUGHTER 12. HE MARRIED HIS EX WIFE ONE YEAR AFTER HIS SON WAS BORN. HE SEES THEM ON A REGULAR BASIS AND PAYS MAINTAINANCE FOR THEM BOTH. BOTH HAVE MY SONS NAME ON THEIR BIRTH CERTIFICATES. HIS EX WIFE HAS REMARRIED AND BOTH CHILDREN LIVE WITH HER. LAST WEEK WHEN BOTH CHILDREN WERE ON A VISIT HIS SON SHOWED HIM HIS PROVISIONAL DRIVING LICENCE AS HE HAS A MOPED AND HIS NAME ON THE LICENCE IS DOWN AS HIS MUMS NOW MARRIED NAME THIS IS ALSO ON HIS NATIONAL INSURANCE CARD NOW HIS DAUGHTER IS SAYING THAT SHE IS KNOWN AT SCHOOL AS THIS OTHER NAME. AT NO TIME HAS MY SON GIVEN PERMISSION FOR THEIR NAMES TO BE CHANGED HOW CAN HE FIND OUT IF THEIR NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED BY DEED POLL AND WHAT ADVICE CAN YOU GIVE PLEASE

none 23/08/2015 at 2:54 pm

My son has two children a son aged 16 and a daughter aged twelve. My son and his ex wife married a year after the son was born. both children have their fathers name on their birth certificates. My sons ex wife has remarried and the children live with her but my son sees them on a regular basis and pays maintenience for them. Last week on their visit my grandson showed my son his provisional driving licence as he got a moped for his 16th birthday.and his name on the licence is the ex wifes new husbands name it's also on his national insurance card At no time has my son given permission to change their name my grandson and grandaughter do not wish to have their name changed and apparently they are registered at school under the new husbands name how can my son find out if they have had their name changed by deed poll and can you please advice as to what my son can do thankyou

LM17 21/07/2015 at 4:25 pm

Hi, I recently found out my estranged wife has changed the surname of my kids at their gp and dentist to her maiden nameand neither asked for proof of identity . I have PR, and see my kids weekly. I have also found out she has made them known as at their school. The kids are too young to understand the change or importance only that she is continually saying to them that as a family they should have the same name as her which they are beginning to believe due to hearing it said to them constantly. Surely safety measures should be in place for medical records and dental records especially when childrens names are being changed? Any ideas if this is allowed ?

help me please 15/07/2015 at 10:36 pm

my ex has changed our sons name. she registered the birth in my absence not naming me as the father. and has now changed his surname to her new husbands . i pay maintenance but do i have too pay? what are my rights??? thanks

LoveChild 15/07/2015 at 7:33 am

Our son is 4 years old and my ex is telling him that his last name is what she changed her name to which is hyphenated with my last name combined with her maiden name. At the time our son was born, we were married and shared my last name and decided that our son should have that as his last name as well. I believe that divorce should not dictate our sons last name; we chose his last name together at the time he was born and I feel that his name should remain what we decided at birth. My ex has more time with my son and is convincing him that daddy needs to learn how to share and that our son should have part of mommy's last name as well as daddys last name. In reality, she wants our son to have the EXACT same last name as she does now which is her maiden name hyphenated with my last name. My son is starting to express some grief over the situation especially since I am not a good sharer according to his mother. Our marriage did not work out but that doesn't mean that our lives don't have to work out either. I just want to raise our son and love him as much as I can but 4 years of battling in court have taken its toll on my heart strings and now my ex is achieving to accomplish that DAD is the bad person. I just want to co-parent our son together but she has been rigid every step of the way. I filed applications myself after I realized I could not afford a lawyer anymore. My ex had restricted me to one Sunday a week and Sunday and Monday every other weekend along with 30 minutes midweek parenting time.....yes 30 minutes is what the court granted me because she told the judge that that was all the time that was available. Four years later, and being in court for every month straight for 5 months last summer, I finally have more time with our son....every other weekend and 5 hours midweek parenting time. I have tried to tell our son as well as my ex that the name that is on his birth certificate is his name but she doesn't care......really, she simple tells him that daddy needs to learn to share and it all starts over again. I think my ex wants to get our son used to the name she changed to hers to and eventually he will want to change his name on his own someday when he is older. This is immature behaviour for my ex as far as I am concerned but as she tells the court.....she is looking out for our sons best interests. Our son is still too young to understand all of this but I fear that when he does understand my ex will have already brainwashed our son with this new last name....cruel, cruel, cruel.....simple put. I have tried explaining to our son that mommy and daddy will always love him no matter what but he is convinced that he needs to have his moms new last name too. Any advice?

DD Editor 14/07/2015 at 2:45 pm

@rikodon123 - just because your child's name is changed, you will not have to relinquish your parental responsibility rights.

rikodon123 12/07/2015 at 1:19 pm

Has anyone bin court and what type of thing do they look at when deciding weather or not the kid should have my last name as i don't live with my son and i feeling abit worry will i still have rights if they change his name

SeparatedDads Editor 07/07/2015 at 2:56 pm

@Jr1610 - your ex may have changed the names informally which can be done without consent. However, if you think it has been done officially and without consent then you may be able to check whichYou can only apply to change a child's name without consent of the other parent, if the non-resident parent cannot be traced. Proof of attempts at trying to trace the parent must be given to the courts.

Jr1610 05/07/2015 at 1:17 pm

We believe my husbands ex has changed the children's surname legally to hers without his consent. He has parental responsibility for the children so cant see how she has managed it but apparently their passports have their new name. Is there any way we can trace this to find out? And how can she have done this without his consent?

sandie 27/06/2015 at 1:52 pm

My son's ex got married and changed his daughters name to double barrelled still with his surname but also adding her married name. They did not ask for his consent. Is this legal?

Jojo 27/06/2015 at 1:30 pm

Hi my ex got married and wants to change my daughters last name if i was to ok this would it affect my rights in any way

SeparatedDads Editor 19/06/2015 at 2:17 pm

@Wull - you could apply to the courts for a specific issue order, if you don't agree, Your ex is allowed to change your child's name informally - it is when she changes it formally that she would have to apply through the courts to have it changed by Deed Poll.

Wull 17/06/2015 at 4:03 pm

My ex is changing my sons name to hers in school do I have any rites on this at all?

Abi Editor 18/06/2015 at 12:49 pm

@Cavc21 - if you just remember that you don't have to sign anything you don't want to sign. Make sure you look at the details properly.

Cavc21 16/06/2015 at 11:55 am

My ex partner has just rung me about changing my daughters name from Miki Hyland cavanagh to miki Ryland cavanagh she wants me to go to her solicitors and sign forms witch I'm panicking about first of all this is a really bad family who are very underhanded when it comes to getting there own and this solicitors is a very good friend of her dad do I need to seek legal advice myself or need my solicitor who dealt with the case or am I panicking for nothing

SeparatedDads Editor 16/06/2015 at 2:30 pm

@Chris - as specified in the article. In order to make the change of name, officials need permission from both parents with parental responsibility, meaning your ex will need to obtain your consent. Otherwise, she would have to apply through the courts who will decide whether it is in the best interests of your children to have their names changed.

Chris 13/06/2015 at 8:47 pm

My ex has said that she is changing my children's names to her surname even though I am present on their birth certificate and the children were registered using my surname, I have been told that she is legally entitled to do so without my consent and that she is paying the cost of having the name changed.

Do I have the right to disagree with this and where do I stand legally?

SeparatedDads Editor 16/06/2015 at 2:15 pm

@davey - this is an issue that you will have to sort out with your ex, I'm afraid. However, as specified in the article, should she wish to change it, she will have to seek your consent and if you do not wish to give it, then she would have to take it to court.

davey 13/06/2015 at 7:51 pm

Hi all my ex want to change my son name and I have not agree,the reason why she want to change his name because my last name Garfield and he will get bullied I think she being selfish need some advice

Len 01/06/2015 at 8:29 pm

I have 5 years old daughter her surname is under mine so all her documents is my last name.my ex-husband keep her which i dont agree and he enrolled her in other school which i found out that he changed my daughter's last name to his..how could the school changed my daughter's last name knowing that its Father unknown on her birth certificate?

SeparatedDads Editor 29/05/2015 at 2:14 pm

@rich - if she wants to change their names and you don't agree then it may be left to the court to decide. There are a variety of reasons why she may want their names changed, one of those reasons is generally to have a coherent family unit under the same surname. She may get her way through the courts if she has good reason, if she hasn't and is merely wanting to change their names out of spite then the court may decide against it. I'm afraid I couldn't predict which way it might go.

rich 27/05/2015 at 5:40 am

My ex wants to change my daughters last names to her married last name but i refuse. She has contacted a lawyer. What do do from here? We have two daughters and i want them to keep my last name untill they're old enough to change it themselves. Girls ages 5 & 13

steff31 03/05/2015 at 10:52 am

My ex husband decided to leave me and my 2 kids 20 yrs ago and the kids are still carrying the name of my ex husband. I have been the sole parent who have put them thru university and my parents brought them up while I was working abroad.I have changed my name to my maiden name 5 yrs ago. I probably should've changed theirs then. Should my kids carry my maiden name now? I feel that I deserve the recognition for my sole responsibility.

shawnee 03/05/2015 at 10:40 am

ok so if i dont have custody right now but will here shortly , i will be able to change my sons last name from what is on the birth certificate to my own?? just want to make sure

Alex Editor 14/04/2015 at 11:57 am

@k - You may be able to get it changed if you apply for a court order. A parent may be allowed to change their child's name, especially if you have reverted to your maiden name and want the same for your children, or if you have re-married and want uniformity of name. But this is only if you have contacted your ex and your ex has refused, or if you cannot locate your ex to ask for permission.

k 11/04/2015 at 1:55 am

If theres been domestic violence in my relationship I am not wiv the father now but could I change my childrens name by deed pole with out his constent? ???

JJ 24/03/2015 at 10:06 pm

Hello,
My ex-wife has a son from her second husband who had his last name. She just recently changed his last name to mine without asking permission or notifying me . This really bothers me because the kid is still under age and could have some legal implications if she pursues any child support claims etc... My wife is also bothered by this. My ex-wife lives in TX. Not sure if that makes any difference. Can she do this?

Thank you,
JJ

maisie Editor 23/03/2015 at 11:10 am

@tony - you could always take it back to court and tell the court you have always been contactable and that you don't wish and would have never consented for the surname to be changed. She would have had to have signed a form to say that there was no way of contacting you, so it is her that has breached the legality of the issue. It depends how far you want to take this ......and there is no guarantee you would get the names changed back.

tony 19/03/2015 at 12:27 pm

My ex wife has changed my kids surname because she told the court g couldn't be contacted I've always lived in the same place why wasn't g contacted by the courts or anyone else?is this legal?

SeparatedDads Editor 18/03/2015 at 2:08 pm

@Sheen - no, you will still have parental responsibility as you will still be named as the father on the birth certificate.

Sheen 16/03/2015 at 11:09 am

If I allow my ex to change my daughters surname will I lose any perental rights?

delahayedad 01/03/2015 at 1:46 pm

I have just received my letter from caffcas as mycase is finally in court, along with the lies.. it states my ex has changed my daughters surname by deed pole, im on the birth certificate and have parental responsibility, haven't seen my daughter in 3yrs, dues to her mum doing a hudini disappearing act... can she do this without my permission? No attempt to make contact to ask permission and no other problems except her lies... no police involved, and if not. . What action can be taken and repercussions will take place on her part? Cheers any help much appreciated. . In court Wednesday :D

Liz Editor 03/03/2015 at 12:12 pm

@priya - you need to use the name on the birth certificate unless you want to change it legally by deed poll, then you will have to get your ex's consent. In some circumstances you may be able to use a different surname unofficially i.e some schools will let you use a different name, but you can't use a different name on any official document such as passport etc.

priya 28/02/2015 at 5:33 am

we are separated 6 yrs back. My daughter is with me since then, i want to know can my daughter use his father name in school records or aadhar card or voter id, etc. Please do let me know. Thanks.

Dan Editor 26/02/2015 at 2:43 pm

@Soulreaver87 - you could put a clause in your will or in a letter specifying you don't want their names changing, should you die. But it would be up to the court to decide if she wanted to take it further.

Soulreaver87 24/02/2015 at 8:48 pm

Can my ex girlfriend change my kids name if I die? If so is there a way to stop her?

Sasha Editor 26/02/2015 at 12:42 pm

@Mary - your question is a little confusing. If your ex is going through the courts in order to get a name change of your son, then it will be up to the judge to decide.

Mary 24/02/2015 at 2:47 pm

I had a child with a guy that left me pregnant three month he diss appeared until 2yrs later which I had children and family involved for some unknown reason my son appears in the birth certificate with both of our last name now this year I had another situation with c/f and they gave him costudy but I haven't lost my parental rights and he ask the judge if the child can have his last name only because the child is confused and I didn't agree for that to happen can the judge still change my last name of my sons even if my last name is first and his as a secondary

SeparatedDads Editor 02/02/2015 at 2:20 pm

@graham31 - She can't change it legally without your consent. However, it doesn't stop her dropping the name unofficially meaning she would still use the original name legally, but use the other name under a 'known as' status, for situations such as school etc.

graham31 31/01/2015 at 2:09 pm

Hi im in scotland and was wondering is it possible for my ex partner to change my daughters last name ? Im on the birth certificate although we where not married is she allowed to do this ? Thanks

dad trying 23/01/2015 at 12:36 am

What if the ex partner changes the babies name by completing a deed pole as a solo parent even though the fathers name is on the birth certificate and pays child maintenance.
All he asks is that he is able to have partial custody of his daughter and not be subjected to 10 minutes or an hour or 2 in his ex partners house with her supervision. .
He is no danger to the child??

SeparatedDads Editor 22/01/2015 at 1:42 pm

@Danny - no you will not lose any of your parental rights as you are registered as your son's father on his birth certificate which gives you automatic PR rights. I hope this helps.

Danny 21/01/2015 at 11:00 pm

Hi. When my son was first born me and his mother got him registered as my last name. We then broke up. When my son was about 6 months old she told me she had changed his name, we'll added to his current name so my son then had both our last names a double barrel name. So when I contested this and said you can't do that she replyd say they was a loop hole with in the system so where she could add to his original name without my permission. It was some sort of loop hole. But she went on to state it was not his official name or something like that. Now in the past few days she has come to me and asked if she can make it official and see solicitors etc. now I know she need my permission to change it. But my question is. If I do allow my sons name to be changed will I loose any parentle rights in the future if anything has to go to court over my son. Thank you for reading

SeparatedDads Editor 22/01/2015 at 12:30 pm

@Bren - If you have PR then your ex can only legally change your son's name with your permission. However, it doesn't stop her dropping one name unofficially meaning she would still use your name legally, but use part of the name under a 'known as' status for things like school etc.

Bren 21/01/2015 at 8:58 pm

Me and my child's mum split up about a year and half after he was born, I'm down on the birth certificate as his father & was present at the time of registration of his birth, I wanted him to have my name but she want him to have her name so we agreed on a double barrel surname using both names which was written on his birth certificate
He is now six and I have regular contact with him seeing him at least three times a week but have just recently found she is using only her surname. Is she able to change his name to just hers without asking me first or me being informed first with it being a double barrel surname?

SeparatedDads Editor 12/01/2015 at 2:10 pm

@Chiquita21- as specified in the article officials need permission from both parents with parental responsibility in order to change the name. If your brother's ex want to change the name and your brother has parental responsibility, then she would need to get his written consent first. She can't do it without it. I hope this helps.

chiquita21 10/01/2015 at 4:26 pm

My brothers ex girlfriend wants to change their daughters (his only child) surname to her ex husbands surname as she has held on to this name and given it to her other two older daughters.

Can she do this?

Cazza 07/12/2014 at 2:45 pm

Hi

My boyfriend had a son when he was married to his ex wife. She's now with a new partner and they have a child together. She wants to add her new partners surname on to the end of their sons names once married. They have 50/50 share all legally sorted with courts.

Can she do this on legally and non legally documents(I.e school registers ect) ?...

Please help

Jan Editor 18/11/2014 at 2:45 pm

@Benoit03 - as you have parental responsibility so you any change of name would have to go through you.

Benoit03 17/11/2014 at 11:20 am

Hi,

My ex (and Childs mother) wanted to change my son's surname into her's which I have agreed to. I have given consent with solicitors for this to happen.

If she then would want to change his surname into Her new partner's, would she be able to do it without my permission or would I need to consent to it again as I am his father and named on his birth certificate?

Thanks

Aidy Editor 30/10/2014 at 3:03 pm

@Tee_To change your child's name by deed poll she would need his consent or a court order, which gives the court's permission to change your child's name without the father's consent. There are exceptions to this though.

TeeJ 27/10/2014 at 11:25 pm

Is there anything that can be done to stop the change of a child's 'known as' name? My partners ex has changed his sons name with the school and doctors etc, but without fathers consent (he has PR, is in birth cert and they were married at time if sons birth) the name she has changed to is that of her 'current' girlfriend, not even a legal step parent. My partner has regular contact with his son and is deeply upset. A childs name is an important part of their identity and shouldn't be changed depending on whoever the mother is sleeping with at any given time!
We want to know if there is anything that can be done to change back his 'known as' name??

Nai 24/10/2014 at 4:56 am

My son's father hasn't been involved much with my child and wasn't there for his birth. He's 2 months old on Saturday and his father is just now getting involved. He had a paternity test done and we agreed on a custody plan where all his visits are supervised by me. He has no over nights, so far he has only provided $60 for his care but expects me to change my son's last name to his once we add him to the birth certificate. If I disagree with my son's last name being changed is there anything I can do since paternity was established after he was born?

SeparatedDads Editor 17/10/2014 at 1:26 pm

@Andy - I don't know how old your son is and the reasons why you don't see him. But there are things you can do to gain access. He is still your son and hopefully one day soon you will be able to have the kind of contact you want.

ROBSTAR 16/10/2014 at 12:34 pm

My wife has changed my childrens' names , she has a restraining order against me , and i've been informed there is nothing i can do about this although we are still married , were married when both children were born and my name is on both birth certificates , and i have parental responsibility. is this lawful ?

oscar Editor 29/09/2014 at 10:44 am

@Danny, no this is not something she can do without your permission. In order to legally change your son's surname she would have to do it via deed poll and they require a signed written statement from the father before they will process it.

danny 28/09/2014 at 3:43 am

Hi my name is Daniel. My sons mother nand i have seperated years ago..n we hhv both remarried since...well now she wants to give MY SON her new hhusbands last name...can she do that?

aj 15/09/2014 at 8:50 am

Hi i was just wondering how i go about seeing if my ex has changed our sons surname without my consent. I am not allowed any contact but i pay regular maintenance through csa from the day he was born. There is also rumours that he isnt mine and i would like to have a dna but dont know how to go about this as i am on job seekers allowance, this has been goin on for nearly 8 years. Look forward to hearing from you.

jubuli 09/09/2014 at 8:53 pm

Dear concern
I am a married person having a baby boy of 2yrs who is living with her mother since birth. We r separate since last 2yrs but not legally. My wife is bank manager. My baby can not recolonized his father thats me. In tjis situation can my wife chage his child surname.

MummySara 09/09/2014 at 7:08 pm

Love all the new wives and girlfriends complaining that the child's real mother want her family to share a name. So do I, I can't wait to change my daughters name to my new husbands and her siblings name. Why should she be forced to only share a name with the fat bloke that sucked her mum in a few years ago and now has little more commitment than the £32 a week CSA force him to pay. The Dads are experts at peddling a sob story, finishing with something about the child being their life/ all that matters to them. Yawn. Fathers for justice should have fallen off that roof.

SeparatedDads Editor 09/09/2014 at 2:18 pm

@Herby, your ex can legally change your child's forname without your consent via deed poll. This is only valid for the forname, if she wished to change the child's surname then she would require your consent.

Herby 09/09/2014 at 2:03 pm

What if my ex has decided to change our daughters first name without consulting me her original name is on the birth certificate and she is under 12 months old, can she do this??

Cheers

Muggle Editor 09/09/2014 at 10:35 am

@Marko, yes your ex can inform the school to use another surname for the children this is known as a 'known as' name. Other documents such as passports etc. will have their legal name, as in what is on their birth certificate. There's nothing wrong with what your ex is doing as she hasn't changed the names legally she's just asked the school to use her name which is fine.

Marko 08/09/2014 at 2:19 pm

Hi Guys, my Ex-wife has remarried. My kids are now know by what i can assume is an AKA, the schools refer to this. Firstly, how do i force the school to use their birth name i.e my Surname and not an Alias. I have full PR but get school reports now with this AKA, How do i find out at the Doctors if a AKA has been used, and how do i find out what Surnames they have on their Passports. And the CSA not helpful at all.

I have pondered on this for a couple of weeks, and after, the usual, she has the house etc. Not going to rant..Im not happy with the situation.

Any Help Greatly Appreciated

Ivita Reinkopa 09/08/2014 at 12:57 am

I'll start with you Decka, I think I know your full name, but let's forget about it for a second..., I'll answer on your accusations as correct as I can before I deal with this matter correctly.., a) you forgot to mention that my daughter's father was sleeping with my twin whilst in relationship with me, b) I opened my shop using my credit cards gambling on my children's and my future in case it doesn't take off, c) I have rights to give my daughter my name since my ex partner choose to bring an other child into this world who's mother is my twin yet again the woman he had an affair whilst with me, in case I've missed out on something, contact my solicitor, but at the mean time let me remind you that I never belittled myself to beg you for child support money, but I will now, that's seven years backdated plus an other 9 in future, and if got still havea nerve to think I owe you anything...rethink again... and btw these allegations against me in public profile without back up and proof are illegal, hope your solicitor has advised you of it....!!!!

bob 27/05/2014 at 11:00 pm

Hi my misses has sent off to get a deed poll for my son to change his surname without having my consent.she has about 6 letters of deed poll and sent one to his new school . He starts in September, now his name is registered as this new name at the school . How can this happen when iv not given my consent

Cam1234 03/04/2014 at 8:16 pm

Hi there any advice I'm not with my baby's dad anymore I've double barrelled the last name when he starts school I want him to have my name without changing it by depol can I just tell the school he's got my last name?? And also put down at the doctors surgery my surname?? Thanks

Decka 07/03/2014 at 11:06 pm

Well where do I start? My friend's daughter has now got her mother's surname and without his permission - found out on facebook!
Thing is he can't contact his daughter otherwise his partner's gangster partner from Newcastle - Alan "Fish" Tams and friends will ensure he and his family pay the consequence. I told him to go to the police but he's reluctant to do so.
Ivita Reinkopa his ex-partner stole 40K from him and 15K from his new partner (please understand the money was loaned to her before they broke up).
She instantly found the new man the same day they broke up when my friend asked for his money returned and to be allowed to see his daughter. She went on to have him threatened by telephone when at work (His company HR know all about it as does everyone that knows him or knows about his predicament). Ex partners need to think about the children and not about themselves. This woman and her partner will surely face criminal charges when the day comes that they get a knock from North Tyneside Police (these crimes can be reported many years later). These same comments and more were all over "Abouteveryone" (a internet site where people could leave comments about anyone or everyone) Ivita paid to have the comments removed and lots of other fraudulent facts.
She is a director of a company and criminals can't head up a company can they? Especially when fraud etc are concerned?
She opened a business on stolen money yet was working in a convenience store topped up with benefits - the facts are all there.
I'd hate to meet her what kind of woman after everything she did would stoop so low as to then change a childs name? A thieving Latvian woman.
Some terrible stories but this has got to be the worst.

Trisha 12/01/2014 at 6:35 pm

My son ex won't show past port since she married refuse him to have pass port to take her away yet they take her we think her name been changed on passport how we fine out has the right to refuse pass port to take her away

Bella 05/12/2013 at 2:36 pm

Hi Mark, We've had a similar situation my ex has registered my daughter everywhere in her new married name...despite being refused in court. I agreed that she could be 'known' by my ex's new name as she has a brother now with the same name, but it appears that my ex has gone one step further and obtained a passport in the new name....this was done by simply forging my signature in a letter to the passport office (who failed to check). This has meant that I'm not down anywhere as my daughters father (other than her birth cert) and nobody knows I exist. except the CSA of course. I have full PR as we were married at the time of her birth. It's unbelievable that this can happen but my ex will stop at nothing to get what she wants and that's me out of our daughters life so she can pretend her new husband is my daughter's father.

Mark 26/11/2013 at 4:25 pm

I have a contact order in place with my son, recently my ex-wife took me to court to change his last name which I disputed on the grounds of not being in his best interests. Thankfully the court agreed with my reasoning and the application was dismissed. However I have recently discovered that she has ignored the courts decision and registered him at school under the name she initially tried to change to. Furthermore she has breached my contact order trying to cover this up. I will be reapplying to the court for a breach of contact order, however is she legally allowed to register him at school under a different name?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Sammy 11/10/2013 at 12:04 pm

I am being held to rand some by my 9 year old son.He has been brain washed into the idea of wanting his surname changed to his mothers new partners surname.
The situation is if I say no then he is refusing to come to me for contact.
Can anybody offer me any advice?

ResignedToFate 28/07/2013 at 6:52 pm

My Ex-Wife also changed my son's name to her maiden name without informing me. I was not allowed to see my son for over 8yrs. Only time I saw him was when I "staked" out his school just to catch a glimpse of him, there was no communication, no nothing.He is 14 now and been able to see him a few times in the past year. I noticed he had dropped his my name on facebook and adopted his mother's maiden name. I just assumed it was all just kids stuff. I queried him last week when I saw him what name he had on his Passport, he replied "his mother's maiden name". He is in secondary school now, he told me his mom changed his name before he left primary school. Surely, I thought she could not do that considering we were married before he was born.I have since checked on the web on what grounds can an ex change their child's name, it states if the ex partner is no where to be found. She is happy to receive huge child support from me monthly. I guess I should be grateful reading all stories on here, with exes changing child's name to current partner's name.

jaybeanz 14/05/2013 at 10:09 am

why are none of the questions answered on here?Some of these people are desperate for help and never seem to get help :\

San739685 11/03/2013 at 6:41 am

I'm so frustrated that ex partners think they hold all of the cards. My husbands ex announced yesterday that she is going to change his kids surname to include her new married name, because she is embarrassed they don't share her name!! It caused a massive row and I am now trying to help my partner find out hat he can do, if anything. I keep reading that she needs consent, but what are the consequences of not obtaining consent. From what I read there are none. Other than a father having a hefty legal bill to take her to court after the event. The sad thing is the woman is married and meant to be happy, but still years down the line trying to get one over and using the kids to do so. I'm phoning deed poll today and making a solicitor appointment for advice but if anyone has any other ideas that would've great?

kev 05/03/2013 at 12:45 am

My x wife has changed my daughters name at school without my consent is this legal the reason is sh is being teased over her surname but I think it is because my ex wants her name changed and I have told her I will never give consent is this legal? or can I contact the school direct and express my concerns and request it is changed back?

kidrock3 14/12/2012 at 5:16 pm

My ex wife want give her new baby my last name so it will be the same as are three sons we are only seperated but its not my child I dont want my name on the child when it was not a part of me

georgie 11/10/2012 at 9:35 pm

My ex says she wants to change my daughters name I refused because her reason was unjustified she says its for medical reasons which the c.a.b said was not a valid reason I see my daughter well I did see her three times a week since I refused she has cut my time to 1 day a week with my daughter and says that she is changing the name and doesnt need my consent just needs to pay 16 pounds and a letter from the family nurse and it will be done in 30 days is this possible to do because im thinking that her and the family will say I dont see my daughter or some other lies just to manipulate me because they know I dont know the law on this if someone could advise me what to do it would be welcomed thanks

excluded 01/10/2012 at 10:31 am

I obtained a court order (at great expense) preventing my ex changing my sons name to that of her new married name. She tried for a double barrelled name also. Court rules NO. She has gone ahead and changed his 'known as name' anyway. what can I do. I have not ben allowed to see my son for almost 3 years since she married I was eventually excluded and no son now calls her husband Dad.

dagzy 19/09/2011 at 4:08 pm

My ex changed my daughters name without my consent and I only found this out five years after, its wrong very wrong and now i've been told there is nothing I can do as my daughter was born just before the law was changed,we all talk ABOUT WHAT'S FAIR how is this fair, I love my daughter but now she doesn't hold my last name even though I was present for the birth and my name is on the birth certificate but even with all that it amounts to jack all.

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