My wife and I have been separated for approximately 1 year. She and our 5-year-old daughter have been living in our house and I have been renting a flat. I have been paying around 50% of my net salary to my wife and am finding it increasingly difficult to keep my overdraft under control.
Due to the rising cost of living, my wife has asked me if I can contribute more money and I cannot. My wife is unable to work due to incapacity/disability and I would be obliged if you could advise me on what legal obligations I have.It sounds as, if part, you’ve become a victim of the credit crunch. You’ve tried to be very fair to your wife and daughter, but maybe the time has come to hammer out a proper separation agreement and a divorce.
To work out exactly how much you should be contributing towards your daughter's upkeep, you can use our free Child Maintenance Calculator.
You don’t mention any formal separation agreement, so it may well have been done informally. Even in this instance, you should have informed the benefits office, if you or your wife were receiving benefits, as well as HMRC (applicable only if there are tax credits involved), and the local council (for council tax purposes, council tax benefit or housing benefit).
At this point, a formal separation agreement would be useful for you. It lays out what your financial obligations are in terms of child support for your daughter and maintenance for your wife. You’ve been very generous, but obviously you can’t sustain that. If you can work out the details between you beforehand, then it will reduce your solicitor costs when you have it all set out legally.
Find out how much child maintenance you should pay or receive. Takes less than a minute.
Try our Child Maintenance Calculator free, here on this site →However, the two of you might also consider going directly for a divorce if there’s no chance of reconciliation. The more you can agree between you in advance, the smoother the process and the lower the cost of the lawyers (see our article Divorce: Your Action Plan for more information). You will obviously need to provide Child Support Payments, but this will be far less than you’re paying out now.
Will you have to pay maintenance to your wife? There’s a very good chance that you will, but with good negotiation it should be that you’ll end up paying out quite a bit less than the current 50% of your net salary. Your wife is obviously eligible for a disability allowance, and after divorce might well qualify for housing benefit.
The amounts, though, are something yet to be worked out, preferably amicably between the two of you, or possibly between the lawyers or mandated by the court at the time of divorce. How long you might have to pay maintenance depends on the circumstances, although if your wife re-married it would definitely end. There’s also the possibility of negotiation that gives your wife a greater share in your house in return for lower maintenance payments.
If you have a pension through work, you also need to be aware of pension sharing, which will be affected by all this.
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
I have always paid the mortgage and the bills and my wife contributes by way of £350 each month for food. I have an 18yr old son and a 11yr old daughter, my wife thinks I should carry on paying all the bills and she still contributes £350, buy the way I give over £1,800 every month sometimes more sometimes less but I refuse to pay for everything still because I feel that why should I pay for my wife who doesn’t love me anymore the same amount. We started a family years back and she went part time at work to bring up our children while I was working full time to provide for my family. I refuse to give over all of my money to a person who doesn’t love me anymore, and said we need to go 50/50 on the bills. Because our children are older she can go back to work full time or get another full time job but she refuses to do that because she says I’m responsible for all of the mortgage and the bills. I’ve worked hard for what I’ve got and will not walk away from it. Please help with where I stand.
we have a bout 3 years left on a small mortgage and her father lent us money for building work that I pay into
i pay £1200 into a joint account to cover all bills, food , mortgage and any money we pay to her dad. I have no idea how much there is still to pay, she deals with that directly with her dad.
If i was to leave and tell her I want the house to be hers for the family do i have to pay her anything else.
My x however refuses to coparent with me in any way whatsoever. She will not receive phone email or any communication from me. This makes routine matters impossible.
My current are 12 and 9 just and they are forced to make arrangements for themselves which is wro bg in my opinion and damaging.
It's not separation that damages children's continued parental conflict.
Is there any way I can enforce dialogue through the courts?
It's that bad that she even fails to give my details to my sobs secondary school during enrolment.
Any ideas ?
My ex wife works part time to look after my daughter and so on... in the process of the divorce should i pay my ex wife anything? as her maintenance? by law should i be giving her anything?
many thanks
I left my wife 18 months ago after having an affair and being caught, the marriage had broken down due to her trying to take her own life several times and attacking me both verbally and physically.
I am still with the woman in question, I have a mortgage with my wife, and her and my youngest son live in it along with 2 of my grown up children, my wife is a constant liar .. And I can't trust anything she says, she lost me my job and I am now working for my new girlfriend as she has her own business, I earn £150 per week and am currently paying £215 towards the mortgage And child maintainence, my girlfriend pays everything in our house, my wife is saying that she will go for half my new partners business which of course she isn't entitled to, she is also saying she will try to get payments back dated for child maintainence.. but I have Been paying more than the recommended maintainence already, I'm confused... what should I be paying.. Is it just the child maintainence calculater payments or more? According to the childmaintainence calculator i should be paying only £22 per week ...
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