Thank you for the continuous provision of information and case studies for separated dads. The information has really been very helpful. I, however, have a problem and would like your advice.
My ex-partner moved house about a month and a half ago. She did not tell me she was moving or give her new address. I have tried to call her but she hasn't answered her phone. Although I do not particularly think this is to do with me, I am not sure what her intentions are.
I have tried to obtain the new address from the school where the children go and the Child Benefit Agency but no one could give it to me. I have not seen the kids for a month. I do not think they are at risk but I miss them. I have contacted a solicitor and have been told that I will need to apply to the court but that will take along time.
Unfortunately, I do not know any of her friends to give me the address. Do you possibly know how I can obtain an address in a much quicker way?
When your ex moves without telling you
If your ex-partner has moved house and taken your children without giving you their new address, you are not alone. This happens more often than you might think, and there are practical steps you can take to find out where your children are now living.
Your solicitor may have told you that going through the courts could take a long time. That is often true. Court applications for child arrangements can stretch over many months, and you may not want to wait that long before you can see your children again.
There may be alternative options worth exploring, though success will depend on your specific circumstances.
Check what legal rights you have as a separated father. Takes 2 minutes.
Try our Father's Rights Checker free, here on this site →Using a tracing agent
One way to find your ex-partner's new address is to use a tracing agent. These are professionals who specialise in locating people who have moved without leaving forwarding details. Debt collection companies use the same methods to track down people who owe money.
You can find tracing agents online. Many of them also work as private investigators, process servers or enforcement agents. You do not need to use one based near you, as most of the work is done remotely using databases and public records. Any tracing agent you use must comply with data protection laws, so check they are operating legitimately before instructing them.
Expect to pay around £50 plus VAT for a basic trace. Some agents offer a no trace, no fee service, which means you only pay if they successfully find the address you need. Turnaround times vary depending on the complexity of the search.
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
Your legal position
Before you take any action, it helps to understand where you stand legally. Parental responsibility gives you the right to be involved in major decisions about your child's life, including where they live and go to school. If you have parental responsibility, you generally have a right to know where your children are living. Married fathers automatically have parental responsibility, while unmarried fathers have it if named on the birth certificate or through a court order or formal agreement.
If your ex has moved a significant distance away, this may affect your ability to maintain regular contact with your children. In some cases, they may have been required to seek your agreement or the court's permission before moving. Family law changes regularly, so getting updated legal advice is important to understand your current rights and options.
You can check your rights using the free Moving Away Rights Checker on this site. This will help you work out whether your ex was entitled to relocate and what your options are now.
What to do next
Once you have the new address, you will need to decide how to proceed. If there are no safety concerns or existing court orders preventing contact, you might try reaching out directly to arrange time with your children. If that is not possible or your ex refuses to cooperate, you may need to apply to the court for a child arrangements order. Start gathering relevant documents now, including any previous court orders, communication records and evidence of your existing relationship with your children.
A family solicitor can advise you on the best approach for your situation. Many offer a free initial consultation. Organisations such as Families Need Fathers can also provide support and guidance for separated parents.
I have twin boys who are now 19years. I have not seen them since they were 9years old as their mum and family have stopped me.
How can I find them to make contact and see if they are ok? I AM ready to meet them again if they are willing to also as I don’t know what they have been told about me.
I tried going through Family courts before he turned 2 years old, it got thrown out of court as the mother and nan stated he has autism and ADHD, which I know now cannot be diagnosed at a young age. The judge agreed with them and so I'm left with no contact with my son. For 10 years CMS been taking child maintenance from me and Recently I found out they've moved addresses?
How can I find their new address if I wanted to file a case in Family court again? CMS is no help! I managed to contact the ex on tiktok, she wasn't happy as all I wanted to know is if my son knows about his biological father? She replied with that she 'apparently' told my son about me and he 'apparently' said he's not ready to meet me yet. Gave it a few weeks then messaged ex if I could ask her something about my son.... What I wanted to ask her is for me to speak to my son through phone, hear him say he is not ready to meet me yet? Before I could ask the ex, she went on a rant about not to contact her and ends up blocking me on tiktok, also deleted her tiktok account!? Did I say something wrong wanting to hear my son's voice after 10 years? I wanted to hear from my 12 year old son if he wants to meet his father or not? I've waited 10 years, I can happily wait bit longer if my son was to tell me himself?! Now I'm at a loss, frustrated and more determined to ask my son myself anyway possible IF he wants to meet his father or not?
So, this is what I know of my son. Currently know the secondary school he is attending, can I contact the school to asked them to pass on my message to my son? Maybe, give my email address to them or my son to contact me when he is ready to meet? I do not want to break the law, so asking for advice how I can approach this legally as I am on his birth certificate, which I can provide the school as evidence I have parental responsibility.
Next query is how can I find out their new address if I wanted to file a case with family courts?
Lastly, how else can I make contact with my son? Just want to hear from my son what he has to say about knowing his father.. any advice would help and I'm happy to take this on private chat if I need to. Thanking you all
Recently,
I will appreciate your advice thanks.
In2008 my ex she took my children away and she left the house while am in work after work i went back home to find the hiuse is empty she took everything thats ok but she took my kids away from me i tried to find her couldnt now its been twn years i tried every thing to find and contact my kids but couldnt find any thing in social media today is the5th of august 2021 am still cant beleive she took away the best children in my intier life i left uk and now i live in spain but every single second every day i still think about my kids i know that the older is nearly 17 the young is 13 is that fare what alife i deserve to do that to me thx
Ask Separated Dads a question
Ask our editorial team a question and we will reply with our advice. Tell us as much about your situation as you can: the more detail you give, the more useful our answer can be.
You do not need to use your real name. Please do not include your full address, phone number, email address, or the names of other people. We may edit or remove identifying details for privacy and legal reasons.
Comments are moderated before publication.