Thank you for the continuous provision of information and case studies for separated dads. The information has really been very helpful. I, however, have a problem and would like your advice.
My ex-partner moved house about a month and a half ago. She did not tell me she was moving or give her new address. I have tried to call her but she hasn't answered her phone. Although I do not particularly think this is to do with me, I am not sure what her intentions are.
I have tried to obtain the new address from the school where the children go and the Child Benefit Agency but no one could give it to me. I have not seen the kids for a month. I do not think they are at risk but I miss them. I have contacted a solicitor and have been told that I will need to apply to the court but that will take along time.
Unfortunately, I do not know any of her friends to give me the address. Do you possibly know how I can obtain an address in a much quicker way?
(J.K, 31 August 2009)
Hello, I’m glad that you find the information on the site useful. Your solicitor is right: if you choose to go through the court it may be a long and drawn out process. However, the good news is that there is a way you can obtain your ex-partner’s new address. If you’ve ever wondered how companies that are owed money manage to track their ‘gone away’ debtors – this is it!
How to Find Your Ex-Partner
Go online and search for a ‘tracing agent’. You don’t necessarily need one that’s near to your home. A lot of the time the companies that offer this type of service are also private investigators, process servers (serving legal documents on people) enforcement agents (debt collection and other types of financial/property seizure), as well as tracing agents.
Bear in mind that there will be a fee for this service, which should be around £50 (plus VAT). If you can, use a ‘no trace, no fee’ service to guarantee that you only pay for the results you want. However, it is a very quick way to find your ex-partner’s address, and a substantial proportion of traces are completed the same day. You may also be given your ex-partner’s new telephone number, if she has one, and if it is available (i.e. not ex-directory).
How it Works
Most traces are carried out by conducting searches over a wide range of electronic databases. In more difficult cases, the tracing agent may have to use more extensive techniques of tracing and tracking to find the required information. A tracing agent will not make your ex-partner aware that you are trying to track her and your children down.
Before you employ the services of your agent, make sure that they verify the information they find: the last thing you want is to pay for the wrong address! This will be the most effective method for finding the address you require. You will be unlikely to be able to obtain much, if any, information through the child benefit offices or through your children’s school: they may have cited the Data Protection Act as a reason not to disclose this information to you. I wish you the very best of luck!
Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.
@missx.in my situation I don’t want find there address I’m completely happy with zero contact it’s been 15 years for myself without contact so I have zero emotional connection with her daughter .I could walk past her in the street and wouldn’t evenrecogniseHer .i think with my kind off time frame it do more harm then good seeing her .(who knows what her mother told her she could have told her that I’m dead and I’m pretty sure she would already have a father figure in her life but though her daughters eyes it would be her father) .so personally think it’s best keep things the same way .(i amto old for that kind off drama in my life for the first time in my life I have found sum sort off peace it’s taken over 40 years for me to find any kind off peace ).but good luck finding your three children .
C laurie - 19-Sep-23 @ 11:28 PM
Hello I know this is a dad's website but I'm a mother trying to find my 3 children aged 12, 14 and 16. I have not seen them for 6 years despite having a court order. I had nothing but trouble from the step mother who made up so much lies and problems and stopping my contact because I wouldn't do it her way. I ended up more mentally ill and I just decided I'd let the kids live there life. But now I feel more stable and i am just wanting in direct contact because I unfortunately have limited mobility and they either live 100 miles away or I have reason to believe there 170 miles away. I'm at a loss. I went on one tracing agent site and they said they need the person's consent to give me the information which is never going to happen. Also when using a tracing agent am I best of trying to locate the father rather than the children? Please someone give me some advice. Thank you.
missXvamp - 14-Sep-23 @ 11:36 AM
Hi, I'm in need of some advice for my situation if anyone can help. I have a 12 year old son who I haven't had any form of contact for 10 years, I have been paying Child Maintenance through CMS for 10 years and still don't have any idea if my son knows about me? The ex partner blocked or changed her socials, I've attempted to send birthday gifts for his 5th birthday via Royal Mail special delivery (next day) but was not accepted, so got sent back to myself unopened?!
I tried going through Family courts before he turned 2 years old, it got thrown out of court as the mother and nan stated he has autism and ADHD, which I know now cannot be diagnosed at a young age. The judge agreed with them and so I'm left with no contact with my son. For 10 years CMS been taking child maintenance from me and Recently I found out they've moved addresses?
How can I find their new address if I wanted to file a case in Family court again? CMS is no help! I managed to contact the ex on tiktok, she wasn't happy as all I wanted to know is if my son knows about his biological father? She replied with that she 'apparently' told my son about me and he 'apparently' said he's not ready to meet me yet. Gave it a few weeks then messaged ex if I could ask her something about my son.... What I wanted to ask her is for me to speak to my son through phone, hear him say he is not ready to meet me yet? Before I could ask the ex, she went on a rant about not to contact her and ends up blocking me on tiktok, also deleted her tiktok account!? Did I say something wrong wanting to hear my son's voice after 10 years? I wanted to hear from my 12 year old son if he wants to meet his father or not? I've waited 10 years, I can happily wait bit longer if my son was to tell me himself?! Now I'm at a loss, frustrated and more determined to ask my son myself anyway possible IF he wants to meet his father or not?
So, this is what I know of my son. Currently know the secondary school he is attending, can I contact the school to asked them to pass on my message to my son? Maybe, give my email address to them or my son to contact me when he is ready to meet? I do not want to break the law, so asking for advice how I can approach this legally as I am on his birth certificate, which I can provide the school as evidence I have parental responsibility.
Next query is how can I find out their new address if I wanted to file a case with family courts?
Lastly, how else can I make contact with my son? Just want to hear from my son what he has to say about knowing his father.. any advice would help and I'm happy to take this on private chat if I need to. Thanking you all
Aydin - 7-Aug-23 @ 8:29 PM
Hi, I can across your page and I appreciate your content. my ex partner moved to the UK with his new partner and my two kids. I got to know from social media pictures.I have requested to be connected with the kids and he is refusing.I don't know whereabouts they live in the UK (I am also in the uk, we are from Nigeria)to be able to serve a court order or anything.I am thinking of making a social media appeal to the public to help me find my children.I am worried about the kids and one of the kids is not his biological child she's from a previous relationship. I don't know if my idea on how to find my kids is trouble for the kids or me legally?
I will appreciate your advice thanks.
Nkem - 16-Jul-23 @ 7:59 AM
Hi I'm looking for my son I've not seen for 6 years he is now 12. His mother has gave me nothing but trouble since the day he was born, we have been to court I have a court order in place and she still decides to take the law into her own hands solicitors want thousands again it's wrong, went to the house today with his brother and sisters to post Christmas cards to be told via a ring door bell that they moved away I personally think it's nonsense but it could be true.
Billy - 24-Dec-22 @ 3:51 PM
Hello iv been with my partner for 5 years I am a qualified level 3 nursing nurse and worked with children 12 years I met my parent on tinder he told me he has 2 children boy and girl I also told him as much as I want children (I wanted children so much with the right person) but I cant have them he then told me hid baby mum was always saying he could see them then saying he couldn't then he could then couldn't but he was the best dad ever it was 16 months he asked his ex if he could meet them with me he told her everything about me how I worked with children but she said no as I was angry Daniel didn't have a phone so when he had his kids and they was a sleep he went on theirphoneand i said witch I no is out of order (but I was so annoyed as I worked with children every day and love them ) and she was so controlling I said she was a twat and probably more but I dont remember if but I think it is about time she gives him a chance as he loves them children Oscar and skyliermore then anything in this world and to given him a chance with them I will walk away as he is not him without his children
Elmo - 20-Aug-22 @ 12:30 AM
Hiwhat is the best way to find my 12 years old son which is been taken by my ex partner and befor I had contact with him every Saturday but because he didn't want to go back to her mum she start playing by don't answer the phone or bring him and hiding from me or once she told me come outside of his school and when I went there she try upset me to make argument and call police again when I decide only I can find her at her job to find out what is the reason for hiding she call police and complaining for harassment which after few months her friend told me she did that to have evidenceof domestic violence for more chances to get council house and I don't find out about the boyfriend who is a toyboy with 15 years age gap andI may make trouble by involving social workers. Now she blocked my number and changed my son school and her address I don't know what is the best thing to do? The reason I wrote all this story of my life was because I was thinking no one deserves this I been true and by reading that they more careful what there ex partners may do to them.
Ali - 20-May-22 @ 3:39 PM
Hi I’ve been trying to find my 10 year old son my ex wife keeps moving about can anyone help me go in the right direction please
Deano22 - 7-May-22 @ 3:43 PM
Im looking for my 3 year old son. All I have is his b.c., ss card, medical coverage and bills, and a few personal things. What do i do? Someone please... Point in the right direction... Please
Sissy - 6-Aug-21 @ 5:19 AM
In2008 my ex she took my children away and she left the house while am in work after work i went back home to find the hiuse is empty she took everything thats ok but she took my kids away from me i tried to find her couldnt now its been twn years i tried every thing to find and contact my kids but couldnt find any thing in social media today is the5th of august 2021 am still cant beleive she took away the best children in my intier life i left uk and now i live in spain but every single second every day i stillthink about my kids i know that the older is nearly 17 the young is 13 is that fare what alife i deserve to do that to me thx
Mn - 5-Aug-21 @ 5:27 PM
I am looking for my 10 year old son because I don't know where he and him birth mother is. We had a 2-min 1-night stand when the condom broke. He was 6-month old when I last spent time with him. She had kept him away since. The mother seem not to be on social media but I have his name and dob and would like to find him but I don't know where to start or where to look. They were last seen in Strood, Kent.
Cayce - 12-May-21 @ 4:37 AM
My husband is looking for his daughter who would be 16years old but the birth mother never let him be a part of his daughter life as he was only 15 when he had her and the mother was older then him but all we have is a name and dob and would like to try and he would like to find her but I don't know where to start or where to look
Emma - 27-Mar-21 @ 9:15 PM
Ex-husband great-grandmother Ashley could she get the kids for the weekend took my children block me from her phone and moved away what do I do to find my kids?
Meka - 24-Mar-21 @ 4:12 PM
My ex has moved and changed phone number need help finding her so that I can see my son her name is Carly jade hennings
Stevenib - 24-Feb-21 @ 2:02 AM
Me and my ex wife split up 4 years ago and she stopped me for seeing my son which is heartbreaking because I've not been able to see him for 3 years it's hard not being able to see him growing up. I've tried getting in contact with her and her mother they kept ignoring my emails phone call etc shes moved away somewhere both only thing I do know is what school my little boy goes to and that is it. I dont know what to do
Marc watkiss - 2-Feb-21 @ 12:57 AM
My wife and I separated 5 months ago totally out of the blue and I only found out by chance she has moved away with my 13 year old daughter and my wife
How can I find her whereabouts, not exactly where she lives but the area
Thanks in advance
Hearthbroken - 25-Jan-21 @ 4:14 PM
Iam trying to locate the mother of my son from a short relationship 30 years ago. She was married at the time but has gone on to re marry a further three times. I have been advised by her first husband she is no longer living in the UK. I would very much like to make contact with her as I have many questions to ask her. I know I have a son I have managed to find his name but cannot locate him. I am very ill at the moment and am not going to recover unfortunately. It would be wonderful if I could meet my son before I lose my life.
HappyLarry - 17-Jan-21 @ 2:00 AM
When I was 14 I had a one night stand with a girl that I met the same day...I'm 30 now the friend who introduced us contacted me n told me the girl said she's pregnant..and I admit I didn't make an effort back then to reach out or find her..my friend led me to believe she would probably get rid of it...but all these years theres a voice inside me telling me that I have a kid and honestly I cant bare leaving this world not knowing my own seed dont know her name all I know is she in the Unitedkingdom somewhere what do I do...is the a place where i can give my blood and they search the data base for a match or is that just in my head
Ty - 27-Dec-20 @ 5:53 PM
I'm lookin to find my daughters address. I have been astranged for best part of 12 years and have spoken to her recently and her mother refusing to let me see her. I want to get this to court but don't know where she is. What help can I get? Kind regards
Wardy - 13-Dec-20 @ 1:19 PM
Ex cheated then played the victim..long story short did everything I had to do to get my custody back, but she still wont allow me to see my kids. My son birthday is in few days so am extra stressed out..I really could use the help
Dafe - 30-Oct-20 @ 7:49 PM
i was just released from prison after 6 years and my 9 year old daughters father and his mother have been hiding my daughter from me and my family in another state. i have been trying to find her and trying to contact any and everyone who might know hoe i can go about this. i have put myself through rehab and i am 5 years clean.. took parenting classes and have a wonderful support system. i have contacted lawyers and also the courts but if anyone has any information that can help me please contact me. thanks
erin - 16-Oct-20 @ 6:20 PM
My twin daughters are 52. I haven't seen them in nearly 30 years. I never thought I'd do this but...To be honest from what i remember from the last time i saw them. Around 1991, i didn't like them, and I new deep down there mother had poisoned there minds so much there was never going to be any respect, so ( in fact their attitude towards me had been making me feel sick for years, but now they were 22, i thought, that's it I've had it.!). Recently i came into some money, and the long & the short of it is, I'd like to give them some money. Cause i've been thinking with this Covid.19. Are they struggling?, and it might come in handy.! Trouble is i don't know where they are. Could you give me any advice.!? Yours sincerely. Mickyjmac.
Mickyjmac - 12-Oct-20 @ 4:25 AM
Please my son is in UK but how can I locate him
Obey - 9-Oct-20 @ 10:43 PM
It’s worrying to see an article written here that could put women and children in danger. Many relocate in the hope of escaping from abusive partners, men who have been imprisoned, or fathers who have abused their children.
HazelTree - 27-Jul-20 @ 2:30 PM
My son's mother is a miserable , cheating, lying, back stabbing, manipulative, two faced, cold hearted price of dog crap( you know like the old white dried up stuff) who did everything she could to keep me from my son because I would not be in a relationship with her. It was always if I don't want her I don't want him. The court assisted her unwhittingly and he is coming to 18 bday how can I find him?
Flip - 21-Jun-20 @ 6:57 PM
Hi i m a father of an amazing daughter due to unexpected cicumstances there was a breach in my court order and my ex took my daughter from me who lived with me since birth uptill she was 4 and was taken from me just after her 4th birthday this year in feb i need your help please
Dadinneed - 2-Jun-20 @ 10:36 PM
I want to find my daughter who was adopted
Mary - 27-Apr-20 @ 1:08 AM
Hi I have been trying to find my son's. My youngest specially. His name is Ben. He will be 20 this year. I need to tell him I always loved him very much. Our years together are impossible to forget
Loup66 - 31-Mar-20 @ 4:13 AM
My two sons Ashley James Thomas George Doust and Benjamin Joseph Richard Alan Doust was taken away from me when they were young babies and I want to find them social services took them away from me I have no money to pay for this I have learning disability s h
Donna doust - 1-Mar-20 @ 8:44 PM
Can sum one help me I don’t no what to do the i went overseas to Australia and dingo stole my baby any advice?