A Parental Responsibility Agreement enables you to continue to play an active part in your child's life. It is a legal agreement which must be signed by both parents and is a useful agreement if you don't automatically have parental responsibility. This letter to your child's mother explains your reasons for wanting a PR agreement and also explains what is required to put one in place.
[Father's Address]
[Mother's Address]
[Date]
Dear [Mother's name],
Re: Parental Responsibility
I am writing regarding my role as [child name] father.
[Child name] welfare is extremely important to me, and I want to play an active part in the decision making throughout [his/her] upbringing. I want to be equally responsible with yourself for matters such as raising [child name] in a safe and secure environment, making decisions about [his/her] education, and participating in decisions about any medical issues that may arise in the future. I take my role as a father very seriously and want to be able to do what is best for [child name]. In order to do that, I must have the authority to help make such important decisions for [child name].
I very much hope that we can agree this between ourselves and enter into a 'Parental Responsibility Agreement', which will give me equal parental responsibility for [child name] with yourself. I want us to work together as parents for [child name] sake and make decisions about[his/her] future together, [regardless of the fact that we are no longer in a relationship].
All of the form apart from the signatures needs to be filled in. I have done this already and have enclosed a copy for you to read. We now need to go to the local [Family Proceedings Court / County Court / Principal Registry of the Family Division] together, so that our signatures can be witnessed by an authorised member of court staff and the agreement can become effective.
As [child name] mother, you will need to bring along [his/her] full birth certificate to prove that you are her mother. We will also both need to take photographic and signature ID (e.g. passport).
When the application form has been witnessed, we have to send the original paperwork along with two copies to The Principal Registry of the Family Division. We will then each receive a sealed copy and the original will remain at court. The agreement will take effect when it is recorded at the court in London.
[I have enclosed the information leaflet I picked up from the local court for your information and record.]
I look forward to hearing from you shortly, so that we might go to court to have our signatures witnessed and the parental responsibility agreement can take effect.
[I would also note that if you do not agree to us entering into a parental responsibility agreement, I plan to make an application to the court for a Parental Responsibility Order, which I am fully entitled to do as [child name] parent. I hope that it does not come to this, and that we are able to move forwards amicably.]
Yours sincerely,
[Father's signature]
[Father's name]
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Chris - 18-Jul-23 @ 9:52 AM
I haven't seen my kids in 4 months, due to my ex saying Ihit my kids,it didn't go to court. But now she's saying kids don't want to see me, they are 8 and 9. How do I get to see them?I live a stone's throw away.It's killing me. We are currently going through a messy divorce.
Awh - 18-Jul-23 @ 7:55 AM
i see a template for help writing a letter asking for parental responsibility but there doesnt seem to be a template help with writing a letter asking for contact to resume after an ex is using revenge for leaving heri need help on how to ask for contact to be reinstated as i already have parental responsibilitythe link to the gov website does not have anything on there for this
jack - 2-Apr-21 @ 1:28 PM
I have asked my ex to have contact every Friday through to saturday tea of my 4yr old daughter, she agreed via text message. However she is making it very difficult and constantly 'makes plans' for Fridays with my daughter saying last minute I can't have her. This has been ongoing for 3 years now. Her boyfriend of 1yr to whom now expecting is my fiancé's ex they have a child together, she lives permanently with us. My daughters mother makes accusations and snipey remarks to prevent me having my daughter. I recently had to provide a test infront of her to prove I wasn't taking any drug substances, I felt humiliated. This was negative btw. As my fiance and I have 5 children at home 3 are hers, we have a baby together and my eldest 15yr old who has recently chose to come to live with me, it's causing so much tension & bad feelings with our relations at home. My fiancé's is currently in process of a court order with her ex and social services are involved...its all a mess.
I want to draft some sort of permanent arrangement for access with my daughter hopefully to prevent her mother letting her and me down, at the last minute. I also want to make arrangements for my daughters school holiday contact with me and my parents and also to take her abroad with us all next year. I'm worried she won't sign a parenting plan and if she does as it's not legally binding, she may go back on it. I've said I'll go to mediation. Anyone else in the same kind of mess? Just want some friendly advice and pointing to maybe some good parenting plan templates for regular conact
Bestdad90 - 5-Mar-21 @ 2:25 AM
Hi. I havea 4 year old and his dad see him Friday to Monday for the weekend, this weekend my child was at his nan's in kent ,told his dad to pick him up at his nan's.. he said no and said we stopping him from seeing him he's now gone to a solicitor and they want me to donea zoom meeting. What happens if I say no
Gill - 24-Sep-20 @ 1:01 PM
Hi. I havea 4 year old and his dad see him Friday to Monday for the weekend, this weekend my child was at his nan's in kent ,told his dad to pick him up at his nan's.. he said no and said we stopping him from seeing him he's now gone to a solicitor and they want me to dkne a zoom meeting. What happens if I say no
Gill - 24-Sep-20 @ 12:57 PM
My partner has been blocked from access to his son for 2 years now due to fabrications and lies told by ex wife to police/courts and she won a 4 day fact finding court case as judge believed her story. She wants her ex deported as he is not English and said she would never ever let him play 'happy families' with another woman. She is a social worker and knew how she had to do it and what to say. The final hearing for this case in court is in 8 days time and he has to plead for access even though she has turned the son against him (parental alienation). How can this trauma of being blocked from one parent be in the child's best interests? Any advice would be very welcome and is kind of urgent now. We are considering appealing the fact finding case....
jjuk - 23-Aug-20 @ 8:12 AM
Hi.
Please can someone help. I split with my wife in April 18, she told me that she needed time on her own, this after losing my mum to cancer, me suffering a stroke and a seizure, she found someone younger. After all of the hassle, we worked out an amicable parenting plan for my 4 yr old daughter. It was fine until a few weeks ago when I was allowed to take my daughter away to the seaside for one night only. When I dropped her back off, I explained that my job was looking shaky so I may have to alter the maintainence payments slightly. My wife hit the roof and since she has restricted access to my little girl, only being allowed a few hours at the weekend. my wife is calling all the shots. Can someone suggest an ideas on how to get my access back please?
wsmorrisuk - 5-Jun-19 @ 1:27 PM
Vic - Your Question:
Hi, my partner separated from his wife over two years ago and the divorce was granted over year ago. Since then he focused onto rebuilding his life to make it most benefitial for his new family including his 7 years old daughter from the first relationship. On the basis of his PR and stable environment for the child he is willing to provide home for her 50% of the time which he is legally entitled to. However, the mother is very defensive and negative in regards to any changes and very difficult to get hold of. Please advise a possible format of the letter notification of the intent of having the child 50% of the time and any further steps you can think of. Thank you very much in advance
Our Response:
Your partner's only recourse is to suggest mediation, and if his ex will not consider mediation apply to take the matter to court, please see the link here. Your partner is not 'legally' entitled to 50 per cent shared care, it is up to both parents to agree on the amount of access. If both parents cannot agree, the courts will decide on the parent's behalf what it considers to be in the best interests of the children. The court will consider whether shared-care is logistically feasible and much depends upon the input of the non-resident parent into the child's life on a general day-to-day basis.
SeparatedDads - 13-Aug-18 @ 2:24 PM
Hi, my partner separated from his wife over two years ago and the divorce was granted over year ago. Since then he focused onto rebuilding his life to make it most benefitial for his new family including his 7 years old daughter from the first relationship. On the basis of his PR and stable environment for the child he is willing to provide home for her 50% of the time which he is legally entitled to. However, the mother is very defensive and negative in regards to any changes and very difficult to get hold of. Please advise a possible format of the letter notification of the intent of having the child 50% of the time and any further steps you can think of.
Thank you very much in advance
Vic - 10-Aug-18 @ 3:51 PM
My ex-wife and I live a long way apart. Please advise what I am supposed to put in the part of the templates that has " the local [Family Proceedings Court / County Court / Principal Registry of the Family Division] together".
Does it have to be a court local to her and the children, one midway between us, or am I free to decide?
Also, in the 2nd paragraph after this, it mentions "The agreement will take effect when it is recorded at the court in London."
Is this correct? I mean are all such agreements recorded in London? Or should "London" be substituted for the local court as per above?
Many thanks,
NeverGiveUp.
NeverGiveUp - 10-Jul-18 @ 6:49 PM
ash - Your Question:
Hi, I am wanting to use this template for my partner to send to his ex girlfriend regarding contact for his daughter, but where is the form?thanks
hi, i am wanting to use this template for my partner to send to his ex girlfriend regarding contact for his daughter, but where is the form?
thanks
ash - 26-Jul-17 @ 9:43 AM
Penny Chattey - Your Question:
I'm contacting you on behalf of my son who is now at the end of his tether. His relationship with his partner has ended 3 months ago. They tried a reconcilliation but it was unsuccessful. They have a baby due in about 3 weeks. We don't know an exact date as his ex-partner has refused to tell him. He wants to be a good father and to support his child emotionally, physically and financially. His ex-partner has cut all means of contacting her. Finally, my questions.does he have any rights to know when the baby is born, when the birth is registered (to see if his name is on the birth certificate) and what happens if his ex-partner refuses Mediation? Hoping you can advise
Our Response:
I am very sorry to hear this at what should be a joyous time for your son. However, he does not have any specific rights at this stage. If his ex refuses mediation, or to register his name on the birth certificate then your son would have to go through the court process in order to gain access.
SeparatedDads - 5-Oct-16 @ 12:09 PM
I'm contacting you on behalf of my son who is now at the end of his tether.His relationship with his partner has ended 3 months ago.They tried a reconcilliation but it was unsuccessful.They have a baby due in about 3 weeks.We don't know an exact date as his ex-partner has refused to tell him.He wants to be a good father and to support his child emotionally, physically and financially.His ex-partner has cut all means of contacting her.Finally, my questions......does he have any rights to know when the baby is born, when the birth is registered (to see if his name is on the birth certificate) and what happens if his ex-partner refuses Mediation?Hoping you can advise
Penny Chattey - 4-Oct-16 @ 2:06 PM
Hi, I used to live with her but she made me move out and split 3 years ago. As French with no driving license at the time and working 55 miles away I moved closer to work. She asked me to get my own Flat and car so I could see my son each weekend for a day, and have him over everyso often. Nevertheless she did not let him stay. I now have a better place and he came over twice and loved it so much, until I lost my job 3 month ago and cannot afford paying for my car, but she did try convince me to sell it on the basis she would bring my son over sometimes. She works where I live yet she has blocked all contact (phone etc) and not only she doesnt help me see him but she doesnt want me to have phone contact. Also she got married this month and belive she found my 5 yo a new dad....question: can I ask contact although I wont be able to commute to see him until I get a job? Or is simply requesting frequent calls and skype my only option? She did say she will make my life hell, does it sound that she works in my sons interests? Thanks for the help.
Patch - 31-Aug-16 @ 10:05 PM
Caroline - Your Question:
Could somebody please email me as I am the mother fighting for custody and you guys seem to have a hard deal but it seems being the mother, now of good health, trying to gain access seems even harder than the dads. Please, please, is there a number that anyone knows solely for my situation - as totally lost - Good luck ALL you dad's am rooting for you.
Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. Although we are Separated Dads, our site does not differentiate between men or women looking to gain information and advice regarding applying for access to their children. You haven't laid out your situation therefore it makes it difficult to give all but general advice. I take it you have been through the court system and the father currently has residency of your child/children. The problem with regards to both mums and dad is that once a child is settled with a resident-parent, unless absolutely necessary the courts will be reluctant to move the child to the other parent as it considers stability and consistency important for your child's development. If you need to speak to someone for further advice, Family Lives may be able to help, please see link here. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 24-May-16 @ 2:21 PM
Could somebody please email me as I am the mother fighting for custody and you guys seem to have a hard deal but it seems being the mother, now of good health, trying to gain access seems even harder than the dads.Please, please, is there a number that anyone knows solely for my situation - as totally lost - Good luck ALL you dad's am rooting for you ...
Caroline - 23-May-16 @ 10:04 PM
Girl1234 - Your Question:
Me and my ex have almost broke up a year ago, he hardly bothered with his daughter hen we first broke up he go into a relationship with another women I tried my best to get hold of his so he can have contact with his daughter but he blocked my number also social media, and now he's in a new relationship this person can drive and now all of a sudden he wants to play father of the year he's never paid csa he's also been threatening towards myself so I don't want to see him or have any contact with him. There is so much to this story but is there anything I can do it can someone properly explain what PR actually means I've never been in this sorta situation before?Thank you for your time
Our Response:
If your ex has PR, then he has some rights, but not natural rights to access or contact with your child. Please see gov.uk link that explains what PR is here. If you do not wish to let your ex have contact with your daughter and you cannot agree between yourselves, then the father has the option to take the matter to court in order for the court to decide whether he should be allowed to see your child. The court will always decide what it thinks is in your child's best interests, and may begin giving access at a contact centre or access that it supervised (if your ex hasn't had much to do with your daughter). I can't predict what a court may decide, but before the court makes a decision the case will be handed over to Cafcass, please see link: What Goes into the Cafcass Family Report? here . However, if your ex chooses to take the matter to court, the court will usually request Mediation which is a pre-court process that encourages parents to reach an agreement without having to resort to court, please see link: Mediation: What is it and is it For Me? here . I hope this helps clarify the issue.
SeparatedDads - 19-May-16 @ 10:02 AM
Me and my ex have almost broke up a year ago, he hardly bothered with his daughter hen we first broke up he go into a relationship with another women I tried my best to get hold of his so he can have contact with his daughter but he blocked my number also social media, and now he's in a new relationship this person can drive and now all of a sudden he wants to play father of the year he's never paid csa he's also been threatening towards myself so I don't want to see him or have any contact with him.. There is so much to this story but is there anything I can do it can someone properly explain what PR actually means I've never been in this sorta situation before?
Thank you for your time
Girl1234 - 18-May-16 @ 4:56 PM
Iain - Your Question:
I have been separated for 8 years now and for most the time my ex and I have managed matters fairly amicably. However, I have recently become more concerned about my ex's actions in preventing my youngest daughter from having contact with me. In addition she has withdrawn her from school and is having her home schooled - something I fundamentally disagree with as she no longer has any social contact with children her own age. It may be a coincidence that my daughter has recently turned 16 and perhaps my ex feels I can no longer take action through the courts to address the situation. I would welcome your views/comments as I am trying to ascertain what action is most appropriate.
Our Response:
The fact your daughter is 16 means she will also have a say in whether she wishes to be home-schooled or not, meaning the decision is really out of your hands.
SeparatedDads - 1-Apr-16 @ 12:35 PM
I have been separated for 8 years now and for most the time my ex and I have managed matters fairly amicably. However, I have recently become more concerned about my ex's actions in preventing my youngest daughter from having contact with me. In addition she has withdrawn her from school and is having her home schooled - something I fundamentally disagree with as she no longer has any social contact with children her own age. It may be a coincidence that my daughter has recently turned 16 and perhaps my ex feels I can no longer take action through the courts to address the situation. I would welcome your views/comments as I am trying to ascertain what action is most appropriate.
Iain - 31-Mar-16 @ 10:25 PM
Jas - Your Question:
I am so upset and distressed while trying to keep strong yet crying to myself in a empty room at a time when I should have my three little girls around me. For almost two years now I have picked our children up Fridays when the school week ends and they have resided with me at my home until Sunday lunch time until my ex wife comes to pick them up and they go back to her home. As of this half term holiday she gave me two days notice quite rudely, in fact denying our children to me telling me not to pick them up from school on 11/2/16 when they broke up for half term because she was keeping them with her until 17/2/16. This as breached our solicitors informal agreement between us. I should have been able to pick the children up as normal and kept them until Sunday lunch time 14/2/16. My ex wife has taken these days away from me but offered no additional time with our children during this half term. I have not seen the children since 7/2/16 and by the time I have them again it will have been 10 days without contact. I cant ring the children because I have to ring her number to ask to speak to them and she always tries to cause an argument. I know well the children would be in her presence whilst she was arguing with me over the phone but oh she would deny that type of behaviour. You would think butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. I am tired and emotionally strained because of her unfair behaviour. If the shoe was on the other foot she would be so hurt not seeing and having the children for 10 days, why can't she see that I am hurting right now. Sorry but as for being amicable it would be lovely but I recognise now that she is only amicable with me when it suits her to be.
Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. I will post an edited version of your comments on our Separated Dads Facebook page and hope our readers can give you some good advice on what they think you should do. Many of them have been through, or are going through the same issues so are well-versed in such situation. Please keep referring to the Separated Dads FB page over the next few days for your answers. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 15-Feb-16 @ 12:28 PM
I am so upset and distressed while trying to keep strong yet crying to myself in a empty room at a time when I should have my three little girls around me. For almost two years now I have picked our children up Fridays when the school week ends and they have resided with me at my home until Sunday lunch time until my ex wife comes to pick them up and they go back to her home. As of this half term holiday she gave me two days notice quite rudely, in fact denying our children to me telling me not to pick them up from school on 11/2/16 when they broke up for half term because she was keeping them with her until 17/2/16. This as breached our solicitors informal agreement between us. I should have been able to pick the children up as normal and kept them until Sunday lunch time 14/2/16. My ex wife has taken these days away from me but offered no additional time with our children during this half term. I have not seen the children since 7/2/16 and by the time I have them again it will have been 10 days without contact. I cant ring the children because I have to ring her number to ask to speak to them and she always tries to cause an argument. I know well the children would be in her presence whilst she was arguing with me over the phone but oh she would deny that type of behaviour. You would think butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. I am tired and emotionally strained because of her unfair behaviour. If the shoe was on the other foot she would be so hurt not seeing and having the children for 10 days, why can't she see that I am hurting right now. Sorry but as for being amicable it would be lovely but I recognise now that she is only amicable with me when it suits her to be.
Jas - 14-Feb-16 @ 1:24 PM
hi my ex has stopped all contact with my 9 year old daughter, im not sure what steps to take now to get access . Ive been told to send a letter ( download off internet) but everything all looks the same , coulud somebody point me in the right direction thanks.
paul - 22-Jan-16 @ 2:07 PM
hi me and my ex partner have been seperated now for 8 years but since in the last year and half i have met someone else and we have had a child.
now she is being nasty and trying to turn my daughter aged 9 against me but luckily for me she is a daddys girl.she wants to do a mediation group but when i looked into that she turned me down even though i agreed to pay for it.
i am looking into the PR form so to let her know im serious but i was wondering if there is anything else i can look into.
yours faithfully colin
armo1910 - 26-Dec-15 @ 9:26 AM
I and my ex were not married. However, we accidentally conceived a child and now I am 7 month pregnant. We are not planning to get married together but leave this relationship. The issue is that he is unable to take responsibilities as a father due to his marriage status (he is separated from his ex-wife, they have two young children. He is paying them all). Thus, we agree to register a baby and sign a PR under two witnesses (including a lawyer). Could you please provide me any information about where I could customise a PR to fit both of our conditions? I would declare giving up inheritance and kinship; while he gives up custody. Thank you
best wishes,
Yang
AHY - 23-Jul-15 @ 4:11 PM
@Matt - I'm sorry to hear your amicable parenting has come to an end, but unfortunately, people's reactions are something you can't really stop, especially when the dynamics change. At least your son is 15 now, so can make his own contact, does he have a mobile he can contact you on? It might be worth separating yourself from the situation as much as you can from now on and try to keep the relationship with your son independent of your ex. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 19-Jan-15 @ 11:10 AM
So.. 13yrs into my very amicable separation, and she has a new boyfriend.
He has now "banned" me from contacting her by her mobile and the house phone and given me her email address, is abusive to my 15yr old son and I've just had papers drop through the door from the CSA (or what ever they are calling themselves this week), did I mention he doesn't work.
Tonight when I rang to speak to my son, he and only he answers the phone now, I had a 20min session of can you put my son on the phone.
How is this stoppable?
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