Your Ex and Holiday Issues: Letter Templates

Keeping holiday arrangements clear with your ex

When you live apart from your child's other parent, holiday planning needs careful thought. Whether your child is going abroad with their mother or you want to take them away yourself, putting arrangements in writing helps avoid misunderstandings.

A letter or email that confirms dates, destinations and contact arrangements creates a record you can refer back to if questions arise later. Written communication does not prevent every disagreement, but it reduces the scope for confusion about what was agreed.

If you can agree holiday plans between yourselves without conflict, your children will feel more settled. They pick up on tension, so a calm, practical approach to these conversations matters.

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When your ex wants to take your child abroad

If the mother of your child wants to take them on holiday outside the UK, she may need your written consent. This depends on your legal status as a parent and any court orders in place.

Where both parents have parental responsibility, taking a child abroad usually requires consent from everyone with that responsibility. However, there is an exception. If a Child Arrangements Order states the child lives with the mother, she can take the child out of the UK for up to 28 days without the father's consent, unless the court has ordered otherwise.

Airlines and border officials may ask for proof of consent when a child travels with one parent. These checks can happen for any international destination, not only certain countries. Requirements vary, so the travelling parent should check what documentation might be needed for their specific route.

You might be asked to provide a letter confirming you agree to the trip. This should include:

• Your child's full name and date of birth
• The travel dates and destination
• Your name, address and contact details
• A clear statement that you consent to the trip
• Your signature and the date

If you have concerns about the proposed holiday, you can suggest alternatives or ask for more details before deciding. You might want to know the accommodation address, flight information, or emergency contact numbers.

Refusing consent can create conflict, but situations vary and your concerns may be legitimate. If you are unsure whether to give consent, consider seeking legal advice before making a decision. If you genuinely believe the trip poses a risk to your child, you may need to apply to the family court. A Prohibited Steps Order can prevent the other parent from taking the child abroad if the court agrees there is good reason.

If you and the other parent cannot agree and the dispute is not urgent, mediation may help you reach a resolution without going to court.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

Telling your ex about your holiday plans

When you want to take your child on holiday, the same principles apply. Give the other parent reasonable notice and provide enough detail for them to feel comfortable with the arrangements.

A straightforward letter or email should cover:

• Where you are going and when
• How you will be travelling
• Where you will be staying
• How the other parent can contact you or the child during the trip
• When you will return

If your trip falls during time that would normally be spent with the other parent, raise this early. You may need to discuss adjusting the usual arrangements or offering alternative dates.

For trips abroad, you may need the mother's written consent too. Keep a copy of any permission letter with your travel documents.

Staying in touch and using our templates

Children often want to speak to both parents during holidays, regardless of who they are travelling with. Agreeing a contact arrangement before the trip prevents misunderstandings.

Think about what works practically. Time zone differences, limited phone signal, or busy holiday schedules can affect what is realistic. A short daily call, a few text messages, or video calls every couple of days might suit your situation.

Put the agreed arrangements in writing. This helps both parents know what to expect and avoids one party feeling ignored or the other feeling hassled.

If your child is old enough to use a phone independently, they can manage some of this contact themselves. For younger children, the parent they are with will need to facilitate it.

We have created four letter templates covering common holiday situations:

• Responding to a request to take your child abroad, whether giving consent, refusing, or suggesting alternatives
• Informing the other parent you are taking your child on holiday abroad
• Providing holiday details and requesting extra days with your child
• Agreeing how to maintain contact while one parent is away with the child

These templates give you a starting point. Adjust them to fit your circumstances and keep the tone polite and factual. Avoid accusations or references to past disagreements. The purpose is practical: to confirm arrangements and keep your child's interests central.

If you need help with other types of communication, our free Letter Builder can assist with drafting messages about contact arrangements and similar matters.

For information about parental responsibility and taking children abroad, GOV.UK provides guidance on the legal requirements. You can also find information about family mediation services if you need help resolving a disagreement.

The Next Step

Now that you have read through the advice above, you might want to put it into practice. Our Letter Builder lets you generate a professional letter to your ex, solicitor or school. Takes 2 minutes. Try it now →