Having never planned to be in this position before, you are probably unsure of exactly what your rights as a father are. You want to do your best as a father but what are your legal responsibilities? Here are some questions that you may ask to find out exactly where you stand.
If you're feeling overwhelmed by the legal complexities of your situation, you can get clarity in just two minutes with our free Rights Checker.
Do You Have Parental Responsibility for Your Kids?
If you were married to your partner when your child was born, you have automatic Parental Responsibility. If you are not married and your child was born after 1st December 2003 and your name is on the birth certificate, you automatically have parental responsibility. If you are the biological father, you can still file for parental responsibility which gives you legal rights and responsibilities for your child.
Can You Make Decisions Concerning Their Upbringing?
With parental responsibility you have the right to be involved in all major decisions in your child life. This can be anything that significantly affects their upbringing such as education, medical treatment or religion. (For more information, see our article Making Joint Decisions About Your Child's Future on this site.)
Who Decides on Everyday Things?
Everyday decisions are left up to the parent who has residence of the children. Generally, the mother is given residence unless you or the courts decide differently. This means that she does not have to consult you about any day-to-day decisions.
Check what legal rights you have as a separated father. Takes 2 minutes.
Try our Father's Rights Checker free, here on this site →Do You Have to Pay Child Support?
As a parent you are legally bound to Pay Child Support. The amount that you pay is worked out by the Child Support Agency (CSA) and will depend on a number of things including how much you earn and how you have split custody.
What Visitation Rights do You Have?
You may decide to organise your visitation independently with your ex, and this is fine as long as you are both happy with the arrangement. If not, you will need to apply for a contact order and be assessed to determine what visitation you are given.
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
Can Your Ex Take Your Children Out of the Country?
If your ex has residence of your children, she can take them out of the country for up to one month without your permission. If she wants to take them for longer or move abroad permanently, she will need your consent. If you have serious concerns about her taking them out of the country, then you can apply for an order to stop it.
When Does Parental Responsibility End?
Your parental responsibility and child support continues until your child leaves school or further education, which can be as young as 16 or finish when they are 19 and at university.
Finding out about your rights and responsibilities as a father is important so that you know what you are entitled to and what you need to do. If you can keep relations civil and handle the details with your ex then this can be better but, if not, you will have to go through the legal system to clarify things. Your ex has no right to stop you seeing your children and with a little bit of compromise and willingness you can both come to an agreement that is best for your children.
Making Things Easier
When you first split up it's easy for battles to ensue and for the children to take the brunt of it, even though this is never your intention. One way to make things easier is to draw up some kind of agreement at the outset - see our sample separation agreement.
I have just read quite a few of the stories on here but for the life of Mei cannot see any replies to anything, which begs the question, is this a help forum like I thought it might be or just somewhere to sound off, I came here in search of an answer ?
Help please
COVID 19 is a factory and used in the stoppage of seeing her..
I received a text only a week ago that stated that my ex wife and my daughter had decided that I’m to no longer see her anymore??
My reasoning for my daughter saying what she did is how you would say childish as she is 13 years old..
But to have my ex wife agree and send me a text was another!!
Iv always had contact with my daughter Iv always put her before anything or anyone for that matter as you can imagine I’m devastated
It’s now 26th feb Iv now not seen her since her bday at the very beginning of January that’s a long time for anyone..
What can I do?
I am in an abusive relationship with someone with a history of mental health, self harm and hospitalisation. This was hidden from me until 3 years after marriage. My wife is highly vindictive, controlling, abusive and bullying which I can now see is learned behaviour from how her mother treats her father.
I am 100% certain that if I leave, my wife will use our young child as a weapon. I will never be allowed to see our child and my wife will try to cause as much devastation to me as possible. In her mind, that is how she 'wins' if anyone ever crosses her. It does not matter that she or others might also suffer as a consequence; what matters is only the destruction of the opposition. My wife is obviously happy to launch nuclear weapons and has no consideration for the consequences; the problem with her nuclear war tactics (mentally and emotionally speaking) is that nuclear fallout lasts for a hundred years and I am not sure I can ever get past it.
My wife is hateful and cruel many times a day, and I can see she takes pleasure at some level in the acts at the time, although there might be regret at some level later (which she will absolve internally by inflicting more hurt to make herself feel better, in control and like the 'winner' again). She tells me 'if the house is better', 'if the garden is nicer', 'if we go on more holidays', 'if we have a better car', then things will be better. Her family are of the same opinion. My view is that the lack of more, bigger, better things are not the answer, but a symptom of the problem.
The choice I have is simple:
- Stick around and be the emotional punchbag instead of our very young child; or,
- Leave and never see my child again.
I love my child more than anything and would die for them. I feel tremendous responsibility towards them for putting them in this position and can't leave a small child to deal with this alone. Her family have admitted that my wife has a history of using those closest to her as her emotional punchbag. My wife says I am the reason for all her problems and why she is unhappy. I know if I leave, this will just fall to our 2 year old child.
I have been to ongoing counselling to survive this situation. I have tried to suggest couples therapy several times, but it is met with an angry "we don't need counselling; you need counselling! You're the one with the problem! If you don't like it, pack your bags and leave!".
Her family (led by her mother and her sister, who also shows the same emotionally broken and harmful behaviours) have demonstrated with previous family members that anyone who 'crosses' another family member at the end of a relationship will 'pay the price' and be metaphorically attacked (even if that relationship split w
Me and my ex partner split up almost exactly 10 years today. We were not married but were living at my house. She left and took both of my children with her. I’ve had weekend access and 1 evening a week as I was in full time employment ever since. My daughter who is now 18 has been living with me for almost 2 years now since her mother dropped her at my doorstep. And since April, due to COVID I have been left unemployed and shielding at the height of the pandemic. Now my son who is almost 12 has been staying with me for the last 2 months wants to reside with me permanently also and is refusing to go back to his mother until COVID is over as he doesn’t feel safe at her address. Yesterday his mother turned up on my doorstep yet again and refused to leave without our son with her, still he refuses to leave with her, and she threatened me with calling the police and child services.
I’d like to know what I can or should do in order to prevent this from happening again and what rights I have to keep my son here where he feels safest? Thanks in advance.
I try to work things out with the mother, because both of us have parential responsibilities, but she is ignoring the cause .So up on contacting the nursery, I was told by the manager that they were instructed by mom not to give me any progress reports only newsletters.
I am not married. I have a son who is 1yr 11months. My ex is not granting me the opportunity for my son to pay me a visit. Therefore, I want seek knowledge on how to handle this situation.
Thanks.
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