Before heading to court, it's essential to know which forms you need to file, which is where our free Court Form Finder.
The term LIP or should I say litigant in person is used to describe an individual who exercises his/her right to conduct legal proceedings on his/her own behalf. In other words self-representation, although (according to Lord Dyson's Practice Direction of March 2013) the correct terminology continues to be litigant in person rather than self-represented litigant!
Withdrawal of Public Funding for Children Applications
Many parties, particularly fathers, have had no choice other than to become litigants in person after the withdrawal of public funding for the majority of private law children applications. This is a direct consequence of:
(1) The controversial Legal Aid, Sentencing and Punishment of Offenders Act 2012 which came into force on 1 April 2013
(2) The ever-increasing cost of legal fees, many parties start off with legal representation but end up as litigants in person due to prohibitive legal costs
The emphasis is to keep parties out of the courts and, since the Family Justice Review in 2011, the Government has been focusing on funding dispute resolution services such as mediation. The aim is to direct parties in private law cases to mediation rather than funding them to proceed to court. Despite all the funding for mediation however, there is no guarantee that it will work. So if a case does proceed to court, the likelihood is that at least one of the parties will be a litigant in person whom the courts will have to accommodate.
Of course with the abundance of free information on the Internet and websites such as this one, more and more parties have made a conscious decision to act as litigants in person.
Using a McKenzie Friend
Sometimes parties act alone and sometimes with the 'right to reasonable assistance' of a McKenzie Friend. There is a presumption in favour of allowing a McKenzie friend to sit in on court proceedings so as to be able to provide that reasonable assistance. This ties in with Article 6 of the European Convention on Human Rights, which directs that "those who need assistance with the presentation of their case" should receive it.
Assistance means offering moral support, taking notes, helping with case papers and quietly giving advice on any aspect of the conduct of the case. But assistance does not extend to conducting litigation or acting as an advocate - and McKenzie Friends do not have a right to audience in court, unlike solicitors and barristers.
In exceptional cases, where a litigant in person is inarticulate or has severe health problems and is unable to present the case, some judges have allowed McKenzie Friends to address the court directly. The latest guidance in relation to McKenzie Friends is set out in a 2010 Practice Direction.
Equal Treatment is an Entitlement
The fact is that litigants in person often feel overwhelmed by the court process especially where the other party has legal representation. Litigants in person MUST be treated equally before the law and have equal access to justice. Judges have a duty to ensure a fair trial by giving them due assistance to achieve this. But that duty does not extend to giving legal advice. Nor can a judge be seen to favour one party over another, even if that party is a litigant in person.
Litigants in person should bear in mind that a judge's role is to determine both the facts of the case and the law applicable to those facts and presenting a case involving difficult points of law is no easy task for lawyers with many years experience, let alone a litigant in person. Which is why it is expected that with the increasing numbers of litigants in person, judges will need to be exceptionally proactive in managing cases where litigants in person are involved, particularly where the other party has legal representation, to ensure that the litigant in person is not disadvantaged in the proceedings.
There are some significant and imminent changes to family law with which litigants in person will need to familiarise themselves:
Check what legal rights you have as a separated father. Takes 2 minutes.
Try our Father's Rights Checker free, here on this site →(1) Single Family Court for England & Wales
The 22nd April 2014 was a key date in the family law calendar. On that date there a new Single Family Court for England & Wales came in to being. There are actually two tiers of court:
- The Family Court
- The High Court
- Lay bench
- District Judge
- Circuit Judge
- High Court Judge
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
(2)The revised Public Law Outline (PLO)
The revised Public Law Outline will also come into force. In terms of changes it is not significantly different from the PLO from July 2013 but it clearly defines how care applications will be dealt with in the future.
(3)The Child Arrangements Programme
The Private Law Programme, which essentially sets out and governs the procedure in relation to private law applications under the Children Act 1989, will be replaced by the Child Arrangements Programme. The emphasis here is on the needs of the children and ties in with the amendments to the 1989 Act by the Children and Families Act, which received Royal Assent on 13 March 2014 and which among other things:
- Makes it a requirement for separating couples (with certain exceptions such as where there has been domestic violence, for example) to attend a meeting to find out about mediation before being permitted to apply to court
- Makes it clear to separated parents that the court will take account of the principle that both parents should continue to be involved in their children's lives, the caveat being that it has to be safe and consistent with the child's welfare for that involvement to continue. The presumption that so many parents were seeking did not make it into the statute book!
- Ensures that any expert evidence in family proceedings concerning children is to be permitted only when necessary to resolve the case fairly and taking into consideration factors which include the impact on the welfare of the child.
Amended Court Form C100
There will also be an amended Form C100 - this is the form currently used to make an application under the Children Act for a residence, contact, prohibited steps or specific issue section 8 order or to vary or discharge a section 8 order. The Form is to be amended to incorporate the introduction of the new child arrangement order (CAO), which replaces both a residence and contact order and is to be the standard post-separation order. A CAO is defined as an order regulating with whom a child is to live, spend time with or otherwise have contact with. Form C100 will also be amended to incorporate FM1, which is the Family Mediation & Assessment Form.
The crucial question is whether family mediation will divert parties from the courts given the requirement that an applicant will have to meet with a family mediator before filing a court application.
What impact this new reform will have? On the basis that it has already been a requirement since 6 April 2011 that applicants have - needed to 'assess' whether mediation would be a better way of resolving their disputes instead of going to court and have been expected to attend a Mediation & Assessment Meeting (MIAM) to find out if mediation would be right for them - it remains to be seen
What is clear though is that there has been a dramatic increase in the number of litigants in person since public funding dropped off in April 2013 and there are now more litigants in person who represent themselves in private law Children Act applications than in any other area of family law, if my reading of data from the Ministry of Justice (MoJ) is correct!
Celia Conrad is a former specialist family solicitor and author of Fathers Matter - the essential guide to contact on separation and divorce.
This article is for information purposes only. The views expressed by contributing authors are not necessarily the views of the owners of this website and should not be considered as legal advice.
I have been two years with my lawyer and basically she didn’t move forward any step Ignis my stepchildren and I got a child 11 years old and we just waiting my case very Complicated from so many sides and I don’t know what to do
The intensity of his addictions waxes and wanes.
I am the kids primary carer. He sees them every Wednesday for a few hours after school and alternate weekends. He lives with new partner who is supportive of him.
Our kids primary school had concerns that he was intoxicated having driven in one morning, for drop off. The school phoned first response, who couldn't take it any further as he just denied being drunk.
The hospital wouldn't allow our kid to be discharged home to his care after an overnight episode last week, because they had concerns he had been drinking, but because the child came home with me, they have not followed it up with a first response referral.
I am fearful for my children's safety when in his care as I think he is spiralling out of control again with his drinking.
He loves his children and they love him. I want to normalise my kids life as much as possible and I want them to continue to spend time with him, but how do I proceed so that they are safe??
So far I did not allow contact yesterday afternoon with him, against court order instructions.
Girl was 3 days old when registered.
Mum registered without me and I didnt bother for 2 years and 10 months.
I was 22 at the time
Mum was late 30s.
Ive since paid maintenance every month for 3.5 years.
I see my daughter regularly but i do not have parental reaponsibility.
Im now since married in a stable relationship
Mum keeps saying 'we will work towards it'
Mum in a new relationship and the mum has no problem if my daughter calls another man dad.
Im going for mediation
How long does it take from mediation to court?
Mum wants to change daughters surname to her new married name which is the final straw for me.
But since my new relationship I have been scrutinised and insulted aswell as threatened by my child's mother and her family...my access in the week has been stopped and now recently all access until she gets her day in court...my son has been continuously used as a pawn to hurt me as it is well known how much of a bond me and my son have with each other...
His school and support worker have both supported the fact there is no reason for me not to have contact.
I have made my application to court and have received my court date for 1st hearing
I will be representing myself and would like some advice on how to present myself and case in court aswell as what the usual out come for father's is please.
My ex had blocked my number for no reason tonight as I found out when trying to contact her regarding my kids. I then called her several times on private number & left 3 voicemails with no reply which is strange for her even when she's telling me I can't see my kids she will still lreply. I know she suffers from depression & has a split personality at the best of times. She has previously told me on numerous occasions that she wants to kill herself. I obviously thought there was something not quite right so I went to the house to see if everything was ok when I found that there was another man there & he starts to threaten me so I have to leave as I do not want that around my kids. He then gets on his moped & chases me whilst I'm driving my car & threatening me through the window. He is obviously not fit enough to be around my kids as he is clearly violent & that is the exact reason why I have pleaded with my ex not to let men around my kids. I called the police to report it & asked them to go to the house to make sure my kids are ok but they refused to so I asked if I can get an injunction against him to prevent him from being around my kids but they didn't really seem interested. Is there a way to get an injunction against him?
It’s Christmas! My daughter is now a month and a half old and I’ve seen her for 45 minutes. The finally divorce absolute came through a month after her birth and my ex is being difficult. I’m not on birth certificate and I’m worried in future it’ll be difficult to see my daughter. Domestic violence was given as her reason but it’s just not true. She wants me to see her on her terms but I need something more legally binding. Any suggestions guys?
My wife in August 2015, left abandoned the family home and left me with my 7 year old son. She has not seen him since and some 2 years later. He's now 9 Turned up at his school as she has found out me and him Are moving 45 miles away. Advice please
Thanks
My only crime was that I had a nervous breakdown and made an attempt on my life. I have never hurt any of my family and she has not got any violence or restraining orders. I work with children in a private school. I live with my partner and her 3 children, but she demands that I can see my son but only if her and her father supervise me. Her father has threatened me multiple times and now lives with his daughter in the house I fully paid for and which they changed the locks on.
I'm running out of money. I work part time and I can't afford a barrister. If there is anyone who can assist with my circumstances, or have been unwell and tried to get access to their children please help.
I have a letter off my psychologist to say I am no threat to my son, I have a report from a social worker to say that I am a good dad to my partners kids and I had my home and my parenting assessed.
I am about to go to court and I want to know do I need a barrister, or can I get away with stating my facts myself. I could maybe afford one a couple of times depending on the time frame but I don't think I can manage one for every hearing....when is the best time. She will fight it to the end and I don't think even once through the courts she will comply , but I love my son and he loves me and I have to keep trying
Need some advice I've a contact order agreed by myself for my daughters grandmother to see my child at her house once a month for 6 hours I agreed this in February 2017 on the grounds that my daughter who is 9 said she wants to see her so I agreed to the order , but now my daughter has said she doesn't want to because she doesn't like her house and she mean so I stopped her from going as she expressed a few times that she doesn't want to attend her house anymore , her Nan has sent out a warning letter from solicitor saying I'm breaching the order that I agreed willingly , I need advice as to do I have to go back to court for caffcass to speak to my child about going her house no more or do I wait for her solicitor to apply to court and I know. She has no parental responsibility so she got no legal rights to my child how successful would she be if my child still says no to going her house can they force her even though it just her Nan thanks please help some advice would be nice as can't afford solicitor myself . I also let you know my husband is adopting my daughter but this hasn't gone through yet till court date on September 6th 2017 and caffcass are already coming out to speak to her about her dad and her Nan for that hearing .
I can't contact her, and whenever she doesn't show up the only way to get her back to contact is to stop the money.
I've been told she does drugs while with looking after the kid(there is proof of this) that the state of the house is disgusting, and she is back with an ex partner that is been convicted for beating her up before... they live together and my kid lives with him too.
I don't know what to do, I don't want her to use the injunction against me, but I am tired of the intermittent contact and not be able to do anything about it. I have been from a few weeks to 5-6 months without seeing my daughter. It's worse since she found out I'm woth my new partner.
Also I want to take the contact out the contact centre, we only do the exchange there and then I can take her on my own, but it limitates my time with my daughter and my parents hasn't see her for a long time. I want proper access, overnights included with time.
There is any way around this without expending a fortune and taking her to court?
My ex had me arrested for criminal damage
And now is taken me to court for a child arrangement order
How dose she manage to get legal aid when I can't and I am unemployed
I have recently divorced. I have contiued to pay the mortgage and a loan since separating two years ago. My ex is refusing to contribute towards making any payments. Where would l stand in a court of law if applying for her to make a contribution.
take with her the house kids and penshon ,i am now 63 trying to make a life but she is still after money from me i have not seen my kids in all thos years i have sent cards to them but never had anything back i have now been told i got to pay £625.12 a month
I have a 6 years old daughter live with her mother when we spilit up April 2015. She used to stay with me every week end and all bank holidays. I used to pay for her everything and some money to my ex as well every week. My name is on her birth certificate. Suddenly 3 weeks ago she telling me that my daughter don't want to see me or want anything to do with me but she went to Child maintenance Agency for child maintenance. I am happy to pay for my daughter no problem here but she is refusing to let me see her. As she is seeing another man he is advising her to get my money but not to keep any contact with my daughter.
Please could you kindly tell me what rights I do have. While she used to spend every single week end and bank holidays now she is keeping her away from me but want full money. I am not sure what can I do?
Thanks in advance.
Thanks.
But I needed to clarify this point you made in my last posting, as in the previous posting you included a link which I have a look at the various pages.
You did mention..." While this is not legally binding, it is on record and signed off by the courts"
When you say "...this is recorded on record" is this ONLY with the solicitors office or will the solicitor send a copy of the Agreement to the courts to get it signed off?
If so, is it at this point that the Agreement will be signed off by the courts and a copy be kept, but a signed off copy by the courts sent back to my friend and his ex?
If not, how or what is the process of the agreement been sent to the courts and signed off by the courts?
Does it mean that because my friend and the mother of his children are on good terms and he currently sees and has contact with his now children, they wouldn't be able to apply for a contact order? Or if they apple the courts would reject it? Or reject their application? Is this correct?
Because the purpose why my friend want to get it legalling bind, is because him and the mother of the children are not married and this is unlikely to happen. But he does fear that if something happens like him meeting someone new or decides to get married, then she may at that point start making it very hard for him to see the children, or may just not allow him to get involved with the children any more.
So now that things are good, even though they have never lived together, he just wants ti put something in place that is legalling bind, preadvanture, things change.
So what may be his best option?
My ex partner of 9 years and I have been split for 2 years now. I was working 160+ miles away and after the split decided to move where I worked, recently my ex went to see a solicitor as our son had told me he wanted to live with me and didn't want to stay there as he was being bullied by her new partners child that is older. when I had told his mother what was said and stated we needed as parents to come to a conclusion she stopped me seeing him and lied to her solicitor on various things, when I had responded rather well to her solicitor I was granted my access back. however this is where it turns sour, I saw my son 3 out of 4 weekends a month Friday evening to Sunday lunch time. totalling less than 48hours per weekend, I am now being told that I'm being further restricted to just every other weekend so that's just less than 48hours a fortnight. is there anything that will allow me to have my contact as previous as she says her solicitor has told her but not told me, only thing I was told was to complete and respond to allegations made and provide address proof which I had done then access would commence as per normal. so I'm getting different stories from both her solicitor and my ex herself.
Anyone with a bit of advice on this matter. as I do all the travelling both to and from visitation I wouldn't see there would be an issue.
Thanks in advance.
I have always allowed contact but due to my ex partner living 160miles away and the risk factors invoved if she was to just take them
I have had to have a level of supervised contact which ive lowered to unsupervised but she has to stay within a play center and i stand outside
I have just had my famliy group conffrance meeting and my ex is still saying she wants full residancey...
They is no safe guarding issues on either side
Could she get it?
Also does it matter who takes it to court
Do both partys need to put in a application in as such?
And does it make any diffrance who does first at all?
Split up with 3 year old child's dad when 3 months old due to the fathers ongoing heroin addiction. Since then it's been a whirlwind of lies, turning up high, not turning up. Not being responsible etc. I now have had enough and have said if he can supply regular negative drug tests then we can think about supervised access until he is 100% clean and then happy to do unsupervised access. His family have all turned against me like I am the bad one and I am waiting for this to go to court for the judge to decide. As with most addicts he doesn't think he has a problem but hasn't supplied one clean test. I desperately want my son to have a healthy relationship with his father so it's not a case of I don't want him to see him but he is refusing all contact centres etc. I am happy to lit ( self represent ) but wondered if judge will see past his lies and do what is best for my son and demand clean drugs tests or just let him have him unsupervised?
Thanks in advance
Recently he lost his job and therefore couldn't pay maintainance for 2 months. In that time the ex has been hell. Not being available to answer the phone etc, and making things extremely difficult for the collection / drop off that happens 1 weekend, fort nightly.
She is now talking about moving further away (she has already moved an hour away so that her new partner is "away" from the "nasties" he was ganging around with. He's done time and they now have a child together.)
She is jobless, claiming benefits and isn't looking after the children...the new partner is.
Most recently she has threatened not to let my freind see his child over the Xmas period,
Usually he sees her Boxing Day for a few days.
My freind is married, has a very good job, owns his own house, car, is reliable etc but sadly once a fortnight he is having to deal with his nasty ex.
Is it worth him going for custody? (Ex sleeps all day suffering from depression)
Is it worth him going through the courts just to get it all official so that she doesn't mess him about every time he sees his child?
Any advice would be great.
Thank you.
What can I do I feel like only he had a hearing where as I was the one who made the application paid for the application and feel as though I'm the worst off
I would really appreciate some help please. My ex partner and I were together for 10yrs, never married. We lost our first daughter (still born) some years ago, we then ended up planning and having IVF treatment for our second. It was successful, the day after she found out she was pregnant she ended the relationship. I was with my daughter and ex in hospital when she was born and stayed with them for a week as they had to both stay in. It was always the case I'd stil be on the birth certificate and be a part of my daughters life, even though the ex didn't want to try and sort things given we had a daughter that we had both planned.
A couple weeks after she was born I had a call at work from her saying she had registered my daughters birth without me, we were both due to go a week later together. Since then she has sold her house and moved away, she won't let me know where they are living. I only had phone contact at the time, mostly text, to try sort things out, in the end she got me arrested for sending many Tx to sort contact, she ignored most, hence the number I sent in frustration, I had a caution for harassment, never been in trouble ever before!! there are no issues, court orders, violence, abuse etc .. Also only then had e mail as contact. I have seen my daughter only a few times since she was born, had to meet in some pub for a couple hours only, she wouldn't let me see her from November to February, so missed her all of Xmas, was not allowed to see her Father's Day, even though it was planned and also my birthday last week, she canceled access last minute, this is along with many other occasions I have asked to see her and it was planned and she let me down. The couple times I saw her this summer, I was able to bring her back to where I live for the day. She has now stopped all contact again, this time ignoring all of my emails and family's requests to see my daughter. I have now lost my job through all of this and feel my life's gone to ruin. I'm getting desperate.
All I want is to see my daughter, to have regular consistent contact and to also be on the birth certificate. I have called the c/advice, Police, Social services, spoke to a solicitor for advice, called the many numbers I have found on the Internet, mediators ( she ignores all requests to attend by me ) all to no avail. With my current situation, I can't even afford a solicitor, who tells me it would cost thousands to sort contact out with my daughter at court. I'm a nervous wreck.
I find it hard to believe in this day and age, if you don't have thousands for a solicitor you can lose your children and the mother is within the law to just hide away with your children and nobody wants to do anything about it.
Why should I just walk away from my baby daughter? It's killing me.
I have ended up living in Scotland whilst my child lives near London in England. We (my wife and I) never planned on moving to Scotland but after 18 months of being made homeless and jobless we were eventually homed in Scotland due to my wife's parents already living there. I admit to not having much contact with my son but as you can imagine being homeless and jobless equate to being penniless as well. The mother of my son has now moved house and not given me the new address. She has blocked my sons friendship on Facebook so I have no way of contacting him. I really would like contact to be reinstated with my son. I have never harmed my son in any way yet the last words the mother said was that he was suicidal. His last words to me were "Looking forward to seeing you dad"
She is now black mailing me into allowing her to take our children to live with her and her new partner for at least half a week, and because I refuse to allow my biological 3 to go with her, she is threatening to not give me money and to force take them too..
I am already distraught to have lost her to another man, and now it seems that I am about to lose my children to him too..
I am very disappointed with the government for withdrawing legal aid, I have called hundreds of solicitors, family mediation centres, legal advice groups, citizen advice bureau and many other organisations such as coram and gingerbread.. All with no avail..
I really don't know what to try anymore nor who to turn to?
If anyone can help me, I will be ever so grateful.
I have also applied for several part time jobs so that I can afford to pay a solicitor or at least the court fees (if I ever manage to fill in the c100 form) even mediation is not free and she has refused to attend anyway..
Please help, any advice will be a bonus as I am approaching the giving up point..
Thanks
my husband has taken me to court regarding our son saying that he doesn't have contact and that I was abusive to him when it was the other way around
he has his son every weekend so I don't understand his actions to goto court he lives in between his mums and the hostel and has no stable residence
I cannot get legal aid to have a solicitor act on my behalf
any advice would be appreciated
kind regards
Juder
I was arbitrarily refused access to see my son (who is four) due to his mother deciding that this should be so. I'm a medically retired psychiatric nurse. After thirty four years service I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. The reasons for this were manifold (including two suicides whilst I was on duty). I was in charge during the second tragedy. In both cases both my self and the nursing team were praised for what we did in the subsequent coroner's courts.
I have been convalescing in Southern Ireland since 18/12/2014 at my mother's home. I have kept in regular (daily) phone contact with my son by phone ever since. I am now in a much better psychological place than before leaving England. My son was never neglected by me when he stayed with me. This is in no doubt. He begs to see me again when I talk to him. It hurts him. He pleads.
Tonight I spoke with his mother, and asked to see my son on my return. This was met with some derision of my mental state. She says that they are are going on holiday with her parents to the Isle of Wight in May of this year. She has told me previously that her father was extremely disparaging of me. I suspect that this may have been in front of my son. I am on an income of £840 per month (NHS pension). My rent is £630 in the UK. I cannot afford a solicitor.
My decline in mental health happened after he was taken from me. Not before. My pain now is not due to the depression that I have mentioned, but the further pain that he is suffering. This is not about me, though.
I will keep in touch.
Thanks for listening.
And contact orders on 6 pm firday to sunday 6pm...
Al most every year she takes my son out the UK without following the court orders...I never had the chance to take my outside the UK as priscribed by the family court....I have been deprived of my right in having regular contacts with my son....emotional black mail...the list goes on....before she got her stay in the UK as a legal citizen ....she use the welfare state ....taking me to a number of courts...in which she was not entitled to welfare benefits....I had to pay in full all legal expense.
She obtained UK residents by deceit and still giving me problems. What must I do....[removed]
or unpredictable but I feel that the fathering instinct in most men, especially if they have had, at some stage, a loving relationship with the mother, is extremely strong. it seems to me that the law is now (through negligence) very much on the side of women in this respect. Court cost are prohibitive and mothers who are seeking to bring up there children without giving access to their ex, know this. I speak as a woman who during her lifetime has seen some of the more rampant and unproductive effects of woman's liberation. It wasn't intended for this. Children need the love and input of both parents who put aside their differences for the sake of their children.
Unfortunately I think this site is mostly visited by fathers and not by the mothers who might be enlightened a little by some of these comments that have been posted.
In September 14 after months of provable harassment and emotional blackmail with regular use of my two daughters as a weapon i finally snapped and slapped my ex twice she promptly had me charged, a non molestation order put in place and I have been given 60 hours community service and a fine. I moved from my home town because my ex and her family saw fit to ruin my good name as both her and her mother both work in the local supermarket the majority of my small town now think I am a woman beater even though even the police report stated there were no visible marks on her they have told people I really badly beat her up so I have been branded a woman beater in my own town ( the shame and the stares became too much ), stopped from seeing the youngest 2 of my three daughters as my oldest is to a different mother. I really have no clue where to get help to get access I work part time live with my new partner and her daughter so I don't really have any sort of disposable income and getting back into well paid work is near impossible as I now having had to give up my job and move away (I had a minor break down after being served in front of my boss while in work) i now have a criminal record so most employers won't give me a second glance. Not seeing my girls is eating me alive inside every day and my close family have also been stopped from seeing the girls... what am I meant to do??? Please help me if you can.
Steve
We as grandparents want to give them a holiday to remember to the USA in August 2015 some thing their mother will never be able to do, and have asked him to sign a form giving his permission for us to act as their guardians over these dates. He has not acknowledged receipt of the form and not responded to text messages from our daughter or his son.
Our only advice has been to take him to court at a cost of £2,000(?) to have removed from him this power over the children which prevents them from going abroad (without their mother).
Do the children have any options to take control of this part of their lives which he denies them.
i am currently awaiting a letter from a solicotors that deal with mediation to see if my ex attended the appointment after my first appointment .
i have had one meeting with my solicotors also .
for the time upto the start of phoebiie {my daughter} joining nursary i had regular contact consisting of three days , wednesday . fri , and saturday , my time with her then got cut for no apparent reason to a sturday 9am/4pm and a wednesday 1pm/5pm and was told never to go to her school as i wasnt welcome .
this obviously had an immensed effect on my life but accepted it and as usual did as i was told , since this happend phoeibies mother has tryed her hardest to goad / push me to looseing my temper but to no evail, the last situation was bonfire night , this is the last occasion i had any contact with my daughter , the incident was in my eyes minor but she saw it as enough to stop all contact .
she has taken phoebie abroad twice without botheriing to tell me, she put phoeibie in a cresh that is still ongoing instead of letting me look after her , its so frustrateing as i can do nothing to stop it .
any help or advice is greatly appreciated about what to do or any other way than court , or if court is the only option what should i be doing top repare myself ,.
thanks alot
danny
I have been separated from the Mother of my Child (5) for 3 years now.
For the last two years, she has declined over night stays with my Son. She only allows me to see him on Saturdays, which entails an hour journey to pick him up for 10:00am, and her request is that I have him back before 6:45 for his 7:00pm 'apparent' bedtime!! So that's 4 hours travelling and 5 or so hours bonding time. I pay CSA to her every month for my Son's needs, I also pay for travel to see my Son. She has recently moved address and is not willing to tell me where my Son is now living, but yet I give her money! Can I refuse CSA payments until she shares this information. Surely I have legal rights to know this information.
I do have contact with my Son's school, off my own back as she does not tell me a thing. Missed his Nativity play last year because she told me the day before, clearly knowing I wouldnt be able to make it due to not enough notice for work! So I have made my own dealings with the school for them to send me weekly newsletters and regular updates on my Son's progress.
There was even one time, that the trains were delayed in bringing my Son home, she moaned about it over the phone a number of times saying I was lying, she threatened to call the police, for what reason I do not know! So I ended up forwarding her the live train information.
I have kept all her messages, printed out in a folder. I have receipts of what I do for my Son, travel, gifts etc, anything that has relevance to my Son.
She took my Son holiday this year, without even talking to me about it. Yet, I went on Holiday this year also, asked my Son if he would like to go on Holiday with Daddy and he was happy to be potentially going away and spending time with his Father. So when it came to asking his mother, she declined at first instance without even considering it.
She has also blocked my number from calling her. So if and when I do have my son, should there be emergency, I am unable to contact her yet it will probably be my fault for not informing her!! Not quite sure how that logic works!
I try my absolute best to stand by my Son, but keep on getting backed into a corner by his Mother! But I am not going to give up! Thats not me! He is also my Son. Not just her Son.
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