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Fathers Rights Charities and Groups That Help Separated Dads

Originally written by Chris Nickson, updated by the editorial team on 13th August 2026
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Fathers Rights Charities and Groups That Help Separated Dads

Why support matters for separated fathers

Separation and divorce can be isolating for anyone, but fathers often find it harder to access support. Most advice services and support groups have historically focused on mothers, leaving dads unsure where to look for help.

Many separated fathers have questions about spending time with their children, how family courts work, or what their legal position actually is. Others simply want to talk to someone who understands what they are going through.

There are organisations in the UK that offer support specifically for separated dads. Some provide practical advice, others focus on emotional support, and a few campaign for changes to family law. What is available may depend on where you live and what you need.

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Charities and groups that offer practical help

Several organisations provide advice and support to separated fathers dealing with child arrangements or family court proceedings.

  • Families Need Fathers: One of the longest running groups in this area. They offer a national helpline, local support groups, and guidance on family court processes. Membership gives access to additional resources, though basic support is available to anyone who calls.
  • Dads Unlimited: Provides a free helpline staffed by trained volunteers, many of whom are separated fathers themselves. They also run online peer support groups and can offer signposting to other services.
  • The Fatherhood Institute: Focuses on research and policy rather than individual casework, but their website has useful information about fatherhood and family services across the UK.
  • Match Mothers: Despite the name, this organisation supports both parents and grandparents affected by parental alienation. They provide information and peer support.
  • Only Dads: Offers a website with articles and guides on separation, divorce, and co-parenting. They also provide a forum where fathers can ask questions and share experiences.

Availability of local groups varies. Some areas have regular meetups, others rely mainly on phone or online support. It is worth checking what runs near you.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

Campaigning and advocacy groups

Some organisations focus less on individual support and more on pushing for changes to how separated fathers are treated by the legal system and public services.

Fathers4Justice is probably the most well known campaigning group. They have used high profile stunts to draw attention to their cause over the years. While they do not offer formal advice services, their website contains information about their campaigns and views on family law reform.

Other groups combine campaigning with support work. Families Need Fathers, for example, responds to government consultations and works to raise awareness of issues affecting separated parents alongside their helpline and local groups.

These organisations often argue that family courts favour mothers or that fathers face barriers when trying to stay involved with their children after separation. Views on these claims vary, but the groups can be a source of information for fathers who feel the system has not worked for them.

Where else to find help

Charities and support groups are not the only option. Other sources of help may be useful depending on your situation.

  • Citizens Advice: Offers free guidance on family law, benefits, and housing. They can explain your options and help you understand the process if you are going through separation.
  • Family mediation services: If you and your ex-partner need to work out child arrangements, mediation can be a less confrontational option than going to court. You may be able to get legal aid for mediation. Check GOV.UK for current eligibility rules.
  • Solicitors: For specific legal advice, a family law solicitor can explain your rights and represent you if needed. Some offer a free initial consultation. The Law Society website has a search tool to find solicitors in your area.
  • NHS and mental health services: Separation can take a toll on mental health. Your GP can refer you to counselling or other support if you are struggling.

For official information on child maintenance, parental responsibility, and court procedures, GOV.UK is the most reliable source. Information there is kept up to date and covers England and Wales. Scotland and Northern Ireland have some different rules, so check the relevant government websites if you live there.

Support is available, though finding the right help can take some time. Starting with a helpline or local group is often the easiest first step.

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211 questions
Ask Separated Dads a Question
SeparatedDads Editor 07/09/2026 at 10:00 pm
@Jjod Representing yourself as a party litigant in the Sheriff Court is tough but doable. Get familiar with the Ordinary Cause Rules (or Simple Procedure if it applies), stay focused on the child's welfare in every submission, and keep everything in writing so there's a paper trail. Turn up smart, address the sheriff as "My Lord" or "My Lady", and stick to facts rather than emotion. Have a look at Families Need Fathers Scotland too, they run peer support meetings and can point you to McKenzie Friends.
Jjod 07/09/2026 at 9:58 pm
What advice for a dad representing himself in sherif court?
Bob 01/09/2026 at 6:28 pm
I left the family 4 months ago the relationship ended on bad terms and communication is irrational often being blocked and denied FaceTimes . Trying to make arrangements I often get ignored and have to chase for answers , when I have the children their mother is often unreachable and does not keep to schedules . I have issues with the way she talks to my children as she swears at them and screams at them my children were late to school 100days out of 160 last year . I have raised my concerns about her cannabis and cocaine use and people she has around my children who are also on these substances as well as the lack of routine structure and discipline this causes me issues in terms of contact as I get blocked . I have tried to set up set days for FaceTimes and contact again I only get replies if it is about maintenance I have also set up a account on a co parenting app which again has been ignored this is affecting my mental health tremendously and was wondering if anyone been through similar things and has some advice
Bob 01/09/2026 at 6:19 pm
Need a family mediator that doesn’t cost a load or is free around Heathrow area
SeparatedDads Editor 03/07/2026 at 3:32 pm
@Bekir Since you're on the birth certificate you have parental responsibility, so your first practical step is contacting a MIAM provider (National Family Mediation or Family Mediators Association) to get a C100 signed off. Mediation can still be attempted even without her address, as the mediator invites her directly; if she refuses or doesn't engage, you get the form signed and apply to the Family Court for a Child Arrangements Order. Keep a written log of every attempt at contact, stay calm in all messages, and have a look at Dads Unlimited and Only Dads for support. The biggest mistake I see is going quiet or losing your temper in texts, both get used against you later.
Bekir 03/07/2026 at 3:20 pm
I hope you are doing well.

My name is Bekir K****, and I am writing to ask for your advice and guidance regarding my son, Berk K****, who was born on **/** 2024.

I am Berk Brian’s father, and I am named on his birth certificate. From the day he was born, I played a major role in his daily care. I was responsible for feeding him, bathing him, putting him to bed, taking him to medical appointments, spending time with him at parks and family activities, and being actively involved in his everyday life. He has always been a huge part of my life.

Recently, his mother left the family home with him, and since then I have been deeply concerned. I do not know where they are currently living, and I have received very little information about my son’s wellbeing. Since they left, I have only been able to speak to him briefly on a few occasions. As a father, this has been extremely difficult and upsetting.

I have tried everything I can think of to resolve the situation calmly and respectfully. I have contacted his mother, attempted to communicate through family members, contacted the police, and followed their advice by contacting Barnet Children’s Services (MASH). MASH informed me that, based on the information available, this appears to be a matter relating to child arrangements between parents and suggested that I seek assistance through the Family Court.

Before taking any further steps, I would really appreciate your independent guidance.

I would be grateful if you could advise me on the following:

What would you recommend as the best course of action in my situation?
What practical steps should I take next to protect my relationship with my son?
Is there anything further I should try before making a court application?
Would mediation be appropriate where I do not know my son’s current address and communication has effectively broken down?
If mediation is not realistic, what would you recommend as the next step?
Are there any organisations or services that could support me as a father during this process?
Are there any common mistakes that parents in my situation should avoid?
My only wish is to ensure that my son is safe, happy, and able to maintain a loving relationship with both of his parents. I am not looking for conflict. I simply want to be an active, responsible father and to find the best possible way forward for my son.

I would sincerely appreciate any advice, guidance, or resources you can provide.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read my email. I look forward to hearing from you.



Kind regards,



Bekir K******
SeparatedDads Editor 11/06/2026 at 12:21 pm
@Andreea So sorry to hear what your family is going through, parental alienation is devastating for everyone, siblings included. Have a look at Family Lives (0808 800 2222) and Match Mothers for sibling and step parent support, and PAA (Parental Alienation Awareness UK) run peer groups online. Karen Woodall's blog is also worth reading, she specialises in alienated families and has resources for siblings too. For your little one, a GP referral for play therapy might really help her process the loss.
Andreea 11/06/2026 at 12:13 pm
Hi is there any support for parents and family members that have been alienated from a child? Me my partner and 2 little girls are suffering with grief as my partners son and my step son now doesnt want to see us, message or phone or answer any calls, weve had a great relationship we were really close up until 3 weeks ago and now he is saying he doesn't want to see or talk to us for no reason at all, his mother has been alienating us for years but I think our son has had enough now and its easier for him to stop contact with us as he lives with her most of the time. My 6 year old daughter is having nightmares from not seeing her brother and its breaking our hearts. We need some kind of group support or counselling, courts wont so anything as he is almost 10 now.
SeparatedDads Editor 09/06/2026 at 6:21 pm
@dani Sorry you're dealing with this, it's a really stressful position to be in. The key thing is that you won't automatically get parental responsibility unless you're named on the birth certificate, so try to stay civil and ask to be there for the registration. If she keeps blocking contact after the birth, you can apply to the family court for a Child Arrangements Order. Have a look at Families Need Fathers, they offer free advice and meetings for dads in exactly your situation.
dani 09/06/2026 at 6:19 pm
I am having a daughter with a woman i a not in a relationship with. She said from the strt she want expecting anything from me but i made it clear that i want to be supportive father and be in my childs life. For the majority of the pregnancy everything has been very civil and respectful between me and the mother. The baby is due in august and she has now blocked me on most platforms and wont let me see her or speak to her. I am worried what this will mean for me and my rights as a father. What can i do? I dont know my rights or how i can make sure i can see my baby.
SeparatedDads Editor 02/06/2026 at 12:51 pm
@Dee Honestly, what you're describing is depressingly common, and the bias your son is running into is one of the main reasons groups like Families Need Fathers exist. Their helpline and local branch meetings are free, and the volunteers have usually been through the exact same court grind, so they can suggest what's worth fighting and what isn't. Also worth knowing that if the ex is breaching the order, he can apply for enforcement on a C79, which is cheaper than going back for a fresh hearing. Keep a dated log of every breach, courts take that far more seriously than verbal complaints.
Dee 02/06/2026 at 12:44 pm
Son has children,Not married.
The court laid down rules,Ex does not stick to any.
Social services and The Police have been involved,But they always believe the Mother ?
Every time he questions this it costs us £200 plus.
To go back to court.
I looked at other sites,But the prices are very high,And no guarantee of help ?
All we are looking for is some advice,And help ?
Thank you
SeparatedDads Editor 01/06/2026 at 1:49 pm
@ry That sounds really frustrating, especially when her partner seems to be calling the shots over your own child. Mediation only works if both sides engage properly, so if it's broken down get the mediator to issue a MIAM certificate and apply to the family court for a Child Arrangements Order. Keep a diary of every cancelled visit and stick to texts so you've got a paper trail. Groups like Families Need Fathers can talk you through the C100 form and what to expect.
ry 01/06/2026 at 1:30 pm
my kids mum says when i can see him then when it dont go her way she stops it ive tried mediation but her bf gets more of a say then i do
SeparatedDads Editor 26/03/2026 at 8:10 pm
@Jb I'm so sorry you're going through this incredibly difficult situation. Being denied access to your young children whilst dealing with homelessness and caring for your older sons must be overwhelming. It's clear you've made enormous sacrifices to stay close to all your children, and the manipulation you're experiencing is deeply unfair.

You urgently need professional support. Contact Families Need Fathers or the National Association of Child Contact Centres who can guide you through establishing formal contact arrangements. A family solicitor can advise on your parental rights and help you apply for a Child Arrangements Order. Many offer free initial consultations.

Also reach out to Men's Advice Line for emotional support dealing with the abuse you've experienced. Document everything - dates, times, requests from your ex - as this will be important evidence.

You deserve to have a relationship with all your children. Please don't give up hope.
Jb 15/04/2025 at 1:43 pm
January 2024- March 2024
I am currently living in a bed and breakfast since January 2024 arranged by social service, sharing a single room with my two sons, aged 14 and 15, both of whom have additional needs. We were forced to flee due to domestic abuse and violence from my children’s mother, with whom I share two younger children—a 3-year-old son and a 7-year-old daughter. Additionally, my children's maternal grandfather was abusive toward my two older sons, which further contributed to our need to leave and led to the end of my relationship.
Despite being offered accommodation outside of London, I declined as I wanted to remain in close proximity to my children age 3 and 7. My priority has always been to stay involved in their lives, including assisting with school runs and ensuring I am present for them. I have turned down several employment opportunities because they would have interfered with my ability to be there for my children. I have made significant sacrifices to maintain access to them, often at great personal cost.
The separation has caused me immense emotional distress—sleepless nights, overwhelming sadness, and deep pain from missing my children. Despite my efforts, I am currently not allowed to see them for over a year now.
Between December 2023 and March 2024, my children's mother only contacted me when she needed assistance. I was asked to visit her home multiple times to install furniture for her and her daughter (from a previous relationship), including a wardrobe, shelves for hair products, a TV stand, a chair, a footrest, and other household items. She also called me when she needed me to take her daughter to a dentist appointment.
In March 2024, she requested money from me to contribute toward a trip to Jamaica to visit her boyfriend. This was money I needed for myself and my children age 13and 14 at the time, yet I felt pressured to comply. Additionally, she asked me to repair both her and her mother’s tablets. I picked them up from her home, paid for the repairs with my own money, and returned them to her, all without any acknowledgment or appreciation.
On our son's birthday, I was heartbroken to be refused access to see our children and celebrate with him.
In April 2024, she contacted me to bring a cable for the washing machine and to ask about school term dates. I tried to arrange a birthday celebration for our daughter so she could celebrate with me and my family, but my messages and calls were ignored. When she finally responded and said she would get back to me, I was hopeful—only to be met with silence once again.
I only hear from her when she wants something, often in a disrespectful and verbally abusive manner. She has called late at night to demand access to Netflix, asked me to collect and return electronic devices for repairs, and only engages in communication when it suits her needs. However, when it comes to my right to see my children and be present in their lives, I am met with indifference and n
Chris 27/08/2024 at 2:12 am
@jon,i don’t care about this adult kid ,in reality we are (complete strangers on both sides there is zero emotion attachment).even my (mother )does not class this women as her grandchild none off (brothers)class there selfs as uncle’s to this women .she is not apart off my (family and never will be ).like I said in previous post I identify as men who never fathered any children .if people want to hate on me go for it .this is how I (feel inside and it’s my life ).I get ask the question what are you going to do when old it’s a (stupid question in my book ).the same bloody thing I doing for the last 40 years .even if I get sick I still wouldn’t won’t anything to do with her .. identify as a men who never had children.that’s the gods truth .
Chris 20/08/2024 at 2:17 am
@jon. After reading your post ,I know I made the right decision not to go the court route for visitation .bro it’s was harder 15 years ago and if you had dv orders on you we’ll forget about it .my solicitor told me at the time he’s said you are facing serious criminal charges let’s get though those first .before we think about visitation and he was right .long story short .I made the decision to drop off the radar and let the mother and her partner to have full control off the kid with education discipline everything really.now I don’t ever want to meet the kid ).I identify as a guy who never had a kid.I don’t want them looking me up on Facebook that’s why I deleted all social media accounts.I am not looking to reconnect with this adult kid not now not ever .
Jon 19/08/2024 at 11:11 pm
Fathers: after ten years in the family court system I can tell you the sad reality is that the courts will nothing against a parent who is subjecting their children to Parental Alienation. Whatever wins you gain in court ( I received a shared parenting order ) the alienating parent will enact their own out of court actions to make matters worse and worse. Your children will sadly develop a sort of Stockholm syndrome where they realise it is easier for them to appease the parent they will with the most.

The answer is to make sure your Facebook profile photo includes a photo of you and your children so if they ever wonder and decide to search you on Facebook there is a clear call sign to them that you care about them and they are always in your life even if you are not in their life.

Secondly, use a website like medium to write an article for your children explaining how much you love them and how important they are in your life. Then sadly you just have to wait for your children to overcome the parental alienation themselves.
Hardie 29/11/2023 at 8:19 pm
So i have c.a.o with 2 children who live with me under residency order in c.a.o
There mother has fortnightly contact
On sat and sun for 8 hrs no overnignlht
Has had 3 children removed from her neglect/abandonement
Is currently pregnant again
Can i stop/limit contact due to her pregnancy
???
Chris 17/12/2022 at 11:03 am
My ex partner has stopped me from seeing the kids as my job has meant I had to work away every other weekend. She has told me it's her way or the high way and to leave my job or I'm not seeing the kids.
Zo 12/10/2022 at 12:11 pm
Hello I’m emailing on behalf of my partner
He has been separated from his ex-wife for the last two years but his wife has full control over when he can see the children who they see etc, whatever he says doesn’t matter apparently because she’s the mother.

She’s been poisoning the children’s minds with false allegations and we just need some advice please on what to do?

I strongly believe the children will be affected by her actions in the future.

Thank you
Bullock78 07/10/2022 at 10:47 pm
My kids are now 21& 19, I split from my ex wife & she contacted the CSA, after talking it through with her we decided that I would pay her direct, now that the kids are grown up & working the CSA contacted her saying I owe £15,500 arrears, this is bcoz she never told them I was paying direct, I’ve sent bank statements proving this but bcoz she never told them & it’s on there system they say I owe that amount, unless she says she doesn’t want it collecting,, which she won’t do. They can see I’ve been paid it to her & I said why didn’t they contact me after missing the 1st payment? They said they don’t have to, they are now threatening to take £1000 per week from my earnings don’t know what to do, I’ve had enough…….
Shelly 09/05/2022 at 9:09 pm
I don't know what to do for the best,I just need someone to help me
Kate 28/07/2021 at 12:58 pm
My bf has been denied contact with his children by his ex for 6 years, he can’t even phone them. I’ve found their address and phone number and really want to reach out to ask the children if they want a relationship with their dad (which I’m sure they do). I think if he knew one way or another he could at least move, rather than being trapped in emotional paralysis. But is it interfering on my part? He hasn’t paid CSA in those 6 years as he hasn’t been working (because he is unhappy). Parents shouldn’t be separated from their children. Is there anything I can do?
Help help 17/05/2021 at 10:29 pm
Spent 28000 proved every false allegations were false. Cafcass then ignored the court judgement. After 12 years all children loving both parents. The children now call me evil and do not want to see me. What a coincidence when im trying to get contact. Then Judge ignores alll the evidence from experienced child expert on research parental ailenation. Judge then says it you not mother. You emotionally harm children. When every report and photo shows them happy with me. Judge says i know you love them but you are harming them. By trying to bring them home so i can read a bedtime story for my 4 kids. Then guardian the expert all say yes it you the Father who can not listen to children or communicate to them. When i am a family support worker for 16 years listening to children and Mothers and helping them. What a dam joke. The judge and professionals who suppose to protect children to hv right to love both parents. All they can do with there discrimination and bias reports is stop children from seing a loving parent.
Koi 29/04/2021 at 7:56 pm
So my ex partner is blackmailing me.
I want a divorce and according to her social media account she can’t wait for it but yet has refused to sign the paperwork twice and is now telling me she will only sign it if I sign my rights over for my two children!!
This woman has already dragged me through family court for 4 years dragged my name through the mud turned my children whom I did everything for while she went out partying all night and stayed in bed all day.
Any ideas on what I can do here anyone??
Granty 08/04/2021 at 1:11 am
My Ex gf plays my heart strings by using my 6 year old daughter as a weapon..
I've no court orders or any violation orders etc etc..
I'm just so sad as it's almost a year since I last see my daughter...
can somebody please help me PLEASE
Ken 01/04/2021 at 1:14 pm
My reason for seeking legal counsel was due to the things that the mother of my children has put me through in the past in regards to false accusations which resulted in my arrest on several occasions. I thought having someone to represent me legally would have stopped the humiliation caused by the constant false allegations that she was making against me.

All this was brought on because I wanted to care for my children and help in some way with their upbringing. I also wanted them to feel safe and secure both mentally and physically regardless of whatever they're exposed to at home.

When I found out about the abuse that my children was going through by their step-father, I immediately contacted social services to get some help as I thought it was the right thing to do, however I was told that the children doesn’t appear to be facing any abuse. I tried to call them but got no response, so I went by their place of residence where I knocked and resume to calling via mobile and still got no answer, no one came to the door. I was however told later on that night via a phone conversation that the police was looking for me, I thought this was strange and was worried that something has happened to my children and or their mother so I went to the police station only to told that I was being arrested for possession of a firearm to which I turned up at my children mother’s residence with, the shock that came over me is something I can’t explain to this day and to know that this lie was made by the woman that mothered my 2 sons which were being abused by her boyfriend is even worst.

I tried to see my boys on many occasions but only got promises, dates and times that was never met, I decided to go through court on my own to get shared custody of my children but that too wasn’t easy and was still being told by social services that the boys weren’t being abused despite all the fact surrounding them like missing school for 80%. To my surprise one day I received a call from social services explaining that the mother of my children has reported that her boyfriend has hit the children and she was scared of him, she later recanted her statement once she realise that they had included me as I’m the children’s father, she even went as far as saying that I was the abuser, that I was the one who had abused her in the past etc. and once again I was looked at for wanting to care for my children.

Eventually once I got a lawyer, they gradually saw that she wasn’t fit to be a mother to the children and the hospital and GP records had confirm her visits and evidence shows what I reported all along. It is just truly sad that when I reported the children being abused the social services didn’t do their job to investigate it properly nor took it serious but once she made the report of the abuse it was taken seriously and evidence was found. i say all this to say that men aren’t treated equally with respect as women are, a woman can you arrested for false allegation
SuperDad 29/03/2021 at 1:04 pm
how do i speak to the people involed in this organization?
Woll 23/03/2021 at 4:02 pm
So a couple of months back had to make a horrible and heartbreaking decision to withdraw from my court case where I have been fighting for four years for my children to be able to come to the house I live i with my partner her two children and our two year old daughter. So that now I will not see them until they come of age and maybe make the decision to find me: Countless false allegations countless social services and cafcass reports police checks all come back clean!! But yet my children’s mum still refuses to let them come even tho they have told the “professionals” they did want to come but then changed their mind?!?!? Their mother is well firstly no mother at all!! This woman goes out all weekend raving leaving the children with whoever, has been in a relationship with a violent man (my children have witnessed this) had a fire in her kitchen which my 6 year old daughter found as she was downstairs on her own and had to go upstairs to wake mum up!!!! Luckily no one was hurt or worse, also a week after I withdrew she decides to parade past my house with the children laughing and joking!! Correct me if I’m wrong but what sort of person takes their children deliberately past their fathers house who they don’t see anymore- a horrible person does that that’s who!! A person who has no consideration for anyone’s feelings but her won not even arsed what her children make think or feel about it just thinks it’s all one big joke a game! but all these so called professionals have not taken any of this seriously and because of her say so I can’t get what I want but yet she can!! And now these professionals want to tell me what to write in letters to MY children!! What?? Wanna help me with I should say to them?? Little late now non of them have been any help in court in front of judges nothing at all!!and I’m sure I can write a letter.
Robbie 18/03/2021 at 3:28 pm
My daughter is coming up to 18. I pay directly to my x . I have no contacts with them at all. How do I find out if my daughter is still at school. And if my x is still getting benefits. C.M.S told me they can not help.Has my csa was closed in 2018
Kyle 15/03/2021 at 6:41 pm
Hi I need advice on a one night stand I had over 1 year ago Dec 2019. I recieved a call today from benefits people saying my name was given in regards to child maintenence payments that they are looking to set up against me. Please can somebody get in touch with me as I really need some advice on this.

Thanks
Kyle
Mikey 12/03/2021 at 2:53 am
Hi would like advice on payment as been stung with 4K I’ve been paying but last year received letter saying no more payments needed then they calculated it off my highest earnings in 7 year not an estimate over the years which is unfair as it was a one off
Mikey 12/03/2021 at 2:45 am
Hi I’ve been hit with a 4K payment they gone off a one off year where I earned 34k when all other were 21to 24k can they do this
Shaz 22/02/2021 at 7:35 pm
All organization profit maker from a helpless father who separated from there children regardless he cancer patient suffering long term illness, father treated in English judiciary law as inhuman and not consider human in society, father right is discriminated and mother got more priority in name of women rights, no one care how a father feels, no one care he is gone to depression or anxiety or into stress disorder, and he psychologically damage, no free legal aid for father every solicitor and organization demand service charges, I am on universal credit struggling with cancer and for food on the limited amount, I received from universal credit, my ex got non-molestation order falsy and expired police investigation date expired due to no authentic evidence against me, I will never be charged for any crime, CAFCAS and safeguarding clear, ex put verbal allegation she live 24 years under a false identity and her evidence provided to UK border agency, she born children from British father to settle in UK and she using my children as tools poising them since 2 years i never heard and seen my children since 30/August 2019, she chuck me out of my 3 bedroom adapted council property to put her name as sole tenant ,i secure her as 2nd tentant to secure her and my children , i missed court hearing due to late royal mail delivery to my adress and same date i have court hearing on phone when i recived royal mail post from court i was not aware of court hearing, i got C100 and court fee examption, i need only to rearrange court hearing apeal i dont have money to appeal , i am representing my case my own, i need free legal aid to appeal for rearrange hearing date to family court wolverhampton district judge.i need help as father as a human helpless father please help me i am blood cancer patient
Whall 17/02/2021 at 4:35 pm
Bang on jj nothing for fathers at all apart from us always being the bad ones!
Jj 16/02/2021 at 2:51 pm
The law system for dads is a joke i work full time got slapped with non molestation order with no defence for my self i carnt aford solicitors fees its an absolute joke againt dads rights
Tom 13/02/2021 at 2:41 am
Hi guys is there a general page on here I can tell my story and ask your your advice?
Wol 09/02/2021 at 9:26 pm
Absolutely right there Jonny could not have put it better myself. I have recently withdrawn from my court case after fighting for four years ever since I moved on and made my own new family and my children have been poisoned against them all including their 2 year old sister who they have hardly seen!! Mine and my partners health has been seriously affected and lost so much time and energy. It’s sad but it’s true the system is totally against fathers.
I was once told many years ago by a solicitor that unless you actually walk into the woman’s house and she is passed out on the floor with needles sticking out of her arm then you have no chance of winning! Guess what they were right 100%
Take care all
Jonny 06/02/2021 at 11:47 pm
Guys, I'm sorry - this is the reality.

The best thing you can do is do something that you always dreamed of doing and do it. I decided to go back into my first love (Something I love doing) and I have no regrets. I've decided if a woman is stopping me seeing my child, I'll be so focused in my passion that my child will see me one way or another. All that energy going through a court system is energy you are never going to get back. People will say you have to fight for your children - yet they are not there everyday supporting you through it. So, do what works for you. The best thing you can do is live your life to the fullest. Don't get caught up in all those milestones - If it's out of your control, it's out of your control.
Andy1975 01/02/2021 at 6:25 pm
I haven't seen my children for over 3 years. Their mum is very spiteful and nasty. My parents have had he'll with her for the past 2 years with her ignoring court orders and doing what she likes but the family court don't do a thing about it. I've been to court myself for access and after £7500 and getting absolutely nowhere I decided to give up as it was severely affecting my mental health. I've found that between the CMS, family court and cafcass they are so severely disjointed it's unbelievable. The woman can tell all the lies she likes and the family court just take it all in with no evidence or convictions. There is absolutely no fairness for the father. I wouldn't mind but I've asked her in front of the family court why, if I'm such a bad father did she let me take the kids on holiday on my own (where we had a fantastic time). A word of warning to other fathers, never tell a woman you no longer love them and you want to leave. I'm currently back in court at the moment and if I have to deal with the lies and incompetence of cafcass and the family court after the kids mum has poisoned my children's thoughts I will be applying to the Court to relinquish my parental responsibility. Luckily I got to spend time with my children till they were 11 and 9 but the thought of them turning up as young adults under the influence of their awful mum horrifies me. She goes to the CMS to claim all the money she can and when I tell the CMS I'm happy to pay for my children but would like to have them so many nights a week they just say you'll have to go to family court to sort that.
Do they not realise the only reason I don't see my kids is because of the money she gets from me. What is the incentive to let her see my kids. She always was money hungry. Good luck to you all but after going through this for many years you really have a fight with the men hating people at cafcass and family court.
Whol 31/01/2021 at 7:59 am
Well my children have grime their mum has won!! Years of fighting for the same thing has taken its toll! Years of suffering at the hands of a horrible selfish lying manipulative vile cheating person. I am disgusted and have been totally let down by plenty of “professionals” who know what the kids mum is like but because they can’t prove what she is doing to the children there’s nothing they can do WTF?!?!? Yet all the lies that have been told about me and my partner have been proven to be untrue and nothing more than malicious in order for her to get what she wants?? Never heard anything so ridiculous!!
What the hell are fathers supposed to do??
Spud 25/01/2021 at 1:10 pm
I'm in the worst situation of my life me and my partner had a row a month or so ago we shouted at each other and we both got upset called her parents who called the police and told them I was threatening to hurt her which I would never do . Police came no arrest not even detained my partner just went to stay at her parents for the night she came back next day and we had an amazing christmas . 2 weeks later social services turn up at a hospital appointment shes 38 weeks pregnant by this time and accuse me of domestic abuse and removed my partner and all her belongings from the house . My partner and I continued talking and messaging for a week and she was telling I'll always be my babys daddy and my baby and her needed me and we would sort this . Next thing I'm blocked had no idea why then out of the blue she ended our engagement and said we were over but unlocked me . Our baby was born I was not allowed to the birth she informed our baby was born by text and kept in touch for 4 or 5 days sending me pictures and telling me all about our baby . My heart is broken I'm in pieces I've lost the 2 lives of my life and have no idea what is happening . Socail services did an assesment of me over the phone a few hours after hearing the news I was a father for the first time obviously I was in a very emotional state . Now my partner or ex whichever it is as I'm still getting mixed signals reads but does not reply to my message . Socail services wont tell me anything they just keep saying domestic abuse . We had arguments like any other couple and im not making excuses it was wrong for us to be arguing times got hard I was out of work due to covid money was tight my partner was heavily pregnant I was scared of becoming a father and messing it up . Neither of us really had any support through the pregnancy and sometimes it was hard to talk . I love both of them with everything I have . I just dont know what to do who to turn to . I've been told now that I'm not on the birth certificate and I've read that if I take it to court I'll never see my daughter because they say I'm a domestic abuser please help
Harry 24/01/2021 at 3:26 pm
Hi I split with my the mother of my 3 children on 1/12/20 we have a 17month old and twins 4months old I delivered my twins at home they was 10 weeks early and was 2lbs my little girl went down the toilet I got her out and gave cpr for 15 minutes my mother done the same for my little boy in the front room till the ambulance got there . Since we split my ex blocked me on everything got me arrested For DV ,wrote loads of stuff about me and my mother on social media.
I have now had NFA from the police Iv paid nearly 2 thousand pounds in solicitor fees my first court hearing is 23/02/21 we spoke for about a hour on messages about the kids she then blocked me again and has now of a non mol out on me the day I got served the papers she unblocked me on Facebook so all of our pictures of us and our children come back it’s like she is doing it to get me to message her while this order is in place.
I have to attend the return hearing on the 29/1/21 she is doing everything possible to stop me seeing my children it’s not fair at all the social worker has sided with my ex and won’t speak to me or tell me when the assessment will be done . Iv paid for mediation she didn’t answer the call Iv tried contact Center but they won’t help until the assessment has been done . I feel so stuck and lost right now just waiting for court dates .
What happens if my ex does not answer the call for the non mol next week with myself and the judge and both solicitors ? Also will the judge see in family court next month I have been stripped of my 3 children for no fit reason I can’t even contact my ex now because of this non mol at the moment?
Whall 24/01/2021 at 9:38 am
@nelly. My situation is similar my ex has turned my kids against my partner. She refuses to let them come to my house I have to drive around with them in my car so I can spend time with them. Me and my partner have been together 4 years and spent 1000s on solicitor and court costs, and we have a two year old together who my two children have only seen a handful of times. I have been fighting this now pretty much since we got together just because my ex doesn’t like my new partner she has used lies and manipulation to get her own way in court had countless checks by cafcass social services my children now have a guardian and a solicitor. All of these accusations have been proven as false on more than one occasion and yet still my ex will not budge! I have taken her to court to get this sorted so how is it she gets to pull all the strings?!?!My children are regularly visited at school and home by professionals who cannot see that they are saying they want to come and spend time with us when they are spoke to at school away from mum but yet when they are visited at home with mum they say they done want to?? Myself and many others see this being strange but yet “professionals” do not see this!! We now are coming up to the final hearing and now a family decision maker has got involved to try and help sort it thru a meeting with everyone involved in attendance but my partner is not allowed to join in the meeting because my ex doesn’t want her there!! Isn’t this the reason for the meeting??? You are 100% right Nelly/Neil there is absolutely nothing for dads no justice no win no go between no help. absolute rubbish!
Sol 21/01/2021 at 1:50 pm
Please help. I dont know what to do. I am in a very volatile relationship with my wife which i have 4 children with. I made one mistake where i picked up a knife as she threatened to get me beaten up by her family. nor did i hurt my partner nor threaten her but as of this i was separated from my children for almost 1.5 years. I went back to the family home as i couldnt live without my children. Social services etc from my experience were not on the childrens side nor the fathers but everything they did was to be on the mothers words.
I came back to my children in Nov 2019 but i am living a life of misery as all my partner really wants is money and for me to obey eveything she commands. I cant leave the house because i love my children. My children are 15 13 8 and 4. the eldest 3 do not want to live with their mother and the youngest is too young to understand. I had a marriage councillor involved and she arranged for social services to investigate further but i believe as they couldnt find any faults with me they did not want to get involved even though another professional believed it was neccesary. I am disabled and work part time to provide for the children. My partner wants me to run a family on just over £600 month whilst she spends all the benefits.
Benefits havent given her all the benefits but separated it 50/50 which she isnt happy at all with. over a year she argued with benefits teanm that she should get all benefits into her account. After looking at things benefits were left at 50/50 so she decided to tell them that i work more than 16 hours even though i dont but i do spend a lot of time out of the house because i am scared of my partner she tries to start arguments/fights so she can use this against me. As i have lost my children before i dont want this to happen again please someone help me or guide me where i can get help to get out of this relationship and fairly get my children. Even my children think that whatever she does and says do not make sense. I am scared that this relationship is going to scar my children for life and i want to stop this from happening. Please help
Andy 04/01/2021 at 10:18 am
Hi, is there any solicitors on here that could offer me advice? I have a final hearing in February and seriously considering withdrawing as I have been fighting my case for over three years and do not seem to be getting anywhere.
Just a bit of legal advise would be appreciated.
Thanks
Wally 22/12/2020 at 9:36 am
Well sadly I have come to the conclusion that the time has come for me to give up! 3 years on and still in the same position I could understand it if I had done something wrong but I haven't it's the children's Mum my ex that is in the wrong here but as she has spent all the time with my children she has used her wicked ways to turn them against me using my concerns to turn back around on me (everything I know she has done or is doing is now what I am doing)! Another Xmas without them another year not seeing them. The fantastic relationship I had with my children has gone I have lost them for good. She has succeeded she has won. As much as I want to continue fighting for my children I do not have the strength to carry on its heartbreaking and I will never get over this. They will tho they have the "perfect" mother (sarcastic laugh inserted here). Hope other fathers have more success than me and get the contact you and your children want and need. Take care all.
Loz 18/12/2020 at 9:05 pm
After reading these comments relating to the difficulties with dads seeing their children is heart breaking. My brother has had a 2 year battle with his X and his children, I am shocked at how a so called mother can go out to stop children seeing their dads, I feel for you all I really do. This week 3 full day fact finding all 21 allegations my brothers X found guilty, non molestation which she as desperately tried to have him arrested 5 times with NFA squashed! Now another 3 month wait for a final hearing. Keep going all you dads your kids need you, you gave a battle ahead but do not give up .
Wally 12/12/2020 at 6:04 pm
I have full parental responsibility so how is it I am not involved in any decisions regarding my children?
I am not "allowed" to contact my children's mum as I am blocked.
My son will be going to high school in September so his application will have been sent in without my involvement. He is autistic so requires extra help with school work etc.
Is there any way I can find out what school he has applied for do that I can be involved in school visits and maybe speak to the school?
Joe 10/12/2020 at 5:29 pm
I am seriously having trouble with seeing my daughter I don't know where she lives have been blocked on all devices how do I go about going to court I don't even know where to start with all this its so frustrating she is my only child and is a year old

Someone help me please
Johnny 30/11/2020 at 6:30 pm
I split up with my baby's mother 5 years ago, we have 2 sons. She used to live in my parents house with me rent free and we were together 3 years. I had a great relationship with my kids and myself and my family love them to bots. Since I broke up with her she has taken my kids to Ireland and I haven't seen them for 3 years! I don't know the address and I don't even have a contact number. I was working a temporary job and making £270 a week and was sent a letter demanding me to go to court for unpaid child maintenance. I explained my situation to the judge and showed how much all my outgoings were and somehow was still FORCED to pay £85 a week for 2 children I can't even see. Due to covid I have now lost my job and am receiving £130 every 2 weeks and they're still taking £10 a week off me. I received a txt yesterday saying that they now want £200 a week!? I don't know adults that need £200 a week let alone 2 children under the age of 10. Even if I was working I couldn't afford that much money. I have tried to commit suicide twice and am now thinking of traveling abroad to get an assisted suicide by injection as it's legal abroad. I no longer want to live in a world that is unfair and unjust any more. If I don't pay £200 a week for another 12 years they will send me to jail. I thinks it's absolutely disgusting how they operate in such a feminist way and destroy people's lives.
Danny 25/11/2020 at 4:58 pm
I have not seen my 2 boys in three years .there mother moved so I was not able to see them moved there school . Now I have her address and have sent letters asking to see my boys .. no reply am not a bad guy I was in there lives for ten years and now it's like I never had them ... My head hurts my heart hurts the dreams hurt just as much and now the cost of the solisters is just a joke and i feel am not going to get anywere with it am just so done with life at this point
Andy84 22/11/2020 at 9:35 am
THERE IS NO JUSTICE FOR FATHERS!! Non whatsoever the whole system is screwed! Fathers can’t and will never win!
Even top notch solicitors can’t help you!
If you and your children’s mum split up prepare for a war that is impossible to win just give up any chance of seeing your children grow up!
Women are evil manipulative people!!

NO JUSTICE!! FULL STOP
Wilkes 10/11/2020 at 2:55 pm
I have a daughter that my ex wount let me see iv been to court they said i could see my daughter at a child center. I went to the center every 2 weeks. cuple of months later. I went to the center and they said that the visitation was sopposed to be every month that's what the court said every month. I thorght the my ex was alowing me to see my daughter every 2 weeks. But i think my ex told the child center So they changed it to every month. Well that's what I thought. So I wait a month then I get a message from my ex saying that I have missed an apointment to see my daughter and that she's stopping contact. That was 5 years ago. I haven seen my daughter since. I don't have the money to fight in court and I can get legal aid. My ex kicked me out 2 week before they stopped legal aid. And she used my daughter against my. Saying I abuse my daughter and I was abusive to her witch was all bull. My ex has mental issues me exes mom has to be there 24/7. Me ex has hit my daughter few times through my daughter hard on a sofa. And she's still got custady. My ex also fed my daughter un cooked food. Still frozen. Iv told the court all this and still my ex gets custady. I don't under stand it at all
Ragnaaaa 09/11/2020 at 12:04 pm
So my children’s mum is now using emotional abuse to turn my children against me we are due in court soon and the ss checks and other professionals have returned with no issues at all!
I have been fighting for over 3 years and seem to be hitting my head against a brick wall. Mums seem to get all the support they need where as dads get left like mushrooms!!
Is there any actual justice for Dads? Do they ever win in cases? I’m not trying to take my children away from their mum I just want them to be able to spend with us all.
It has made me so poorly all this and I need some sort of positive outcome however that may come.
I have lost all faith in the system
davey uk 30/10/2020 at 3:31 pm
hi my ex wife accused me of domestic abuse and took my 2 young children away without warning ive been to court and there is a child order in place but she got living custody she got legal aid and help from a womans aid where she now lives i dont have funds to fight her in court ive been to my local police as when she left i had medical injuries to show abuse from her she is using emotional abuse still towards me stating she loves me misses me made a mistake leaving admitting there was no domestic abuse took place she has been coming back 3 times over last 2 years she admitted sending naked photos etc of herself to men i havent seen ym kids since march but can get help my emotional and mental energy is rock bottom any advice
Somebody help!! 05/10/2020 at 8:56 am
My ex is a compulsive liar she is a cheat and a theif!!
Paints herself to be such a model citizen makes out she's like Mary Poppins when talking to the authorities including District Judges, they all lap it up think she's a Saint.
It's about time somebody stepped up and helped out dad's in these court cases no matter what I do i will never win in a utterly disgusting one sided case. Violent relationships, leaving my kids with whoever to go out til whenever and then turns it round on the s*** dad who had the kids everyweekend, had to live two separate lives just to see my children!! What a joke I just hope someone reads this and can help for dad's in the future because one day it's going to be a case of should of!!
Thomo 28/09/2020 at 7:20 pm
my girlfriend and I split up recently we never lived together because it just didn't work we had a row a month ago and she told me i couldn't see tge kids until i got my mental health issues sorted( which i have never had) she got a restraining order against me i was shockex at what she had put in it, we have 3 kids together and now she had said none of my family can see them without her parents there, i don't want to see any of her family again as her mom has instigated a lot of what she is doing. My mom was a big part of their lives and now she is heartbroken about all this i haven't got itbin me at the moment to fight for them and i just feel she will do anything in her power to stop me, what can my mom do to see her grandkids
Willie 15/09/2020 at 10:52 am
Hi am looking for some help I haven't seen my son for over a year due to personal problems &the pandemic the problem I have is I now live in Scotland &my son lives with his mum in england have contacted Scottish lawyers cant help advice to contact english lawyer did so cost is something I cant afford as I am unemployed due to health problems what can I do all I want is to see my son
Adrian 12/09/2020 at 8:00 pm
I’m looking for advice and lawyer who can help regarding contact with my son any contact with my 3 yers son Aaron is restrained by his mother without a court order from 22nd of August 2019

Adrian Scibor
07366 777 434
Him 03/09/2020 at 12:34 am
Long story short after a long spout (2 years) of court, false allegations and parental alienation I had some light at the end of my tunnel via a psychological report and a cafcass report both recommending the children live with me, we were at a directions hearing and my ex had managed to get a charity involved that has said all the parental alienation has no truth to it and they don't feel enough weight has been given to the DV allegations. The Judge is now changing his mind. I just need help as I feel she has a lot of support and is going to flip it at the last hurdle, I can't tell you how desperate I am I counted out of the last 40 contact days I only had 10?
HMF1620 01/09/2020 at 8:36 am
My partner walked out at the end of July and took our 4 month old. She's allowed me to see our son for 9 hours a week spilt over 2 days (4 hours midweek and 5 hours weekend - 2 of which are spent driving)

Shes now emailed asking for child maintenance to be set up and told me shes moved the child benefit money (£84 a month) out of our joint account into her own.

I want to work towards 50/50 care and slowly start to increase the time I have with him to eventually get towards a more 50/50 set up (appreciate in the child's best interest this is best done slowly)

I'm not sure what the process is that I need to follow
brad 19/08/2020 at 7:54 pm
hi all I have a 3 year old son nearly 4. I split up with the mother before he was consived due to violence and a toxic relationship. (she was the violent one) I did go court when he was born as she was declared an unfit mum. and she had to be adopted with our son to change her was so she could redeem herself as a fit mother. I got PR and contact order from the court. But when that ran out she would make evey excuse to stop contact from happening. And it got to a stage where I had to do everything she asked just so I could keep contact. Even sleeping with her. Now she has had another child that is potentially mine. Due to the blackmail I was put through. I am refusing to pay for a dna because I can't go through the emotions again with another child. I dont have much money at all I work full time but cost of living is unreal. She always come up with a reason why I can't see my son the latest one is because I have a fiancé. Then it was because Im Refusing a dna on her new child. The problem I have is I do ehat she askes and then she finds another problem for me to solve. I just want contact with my son and potentially daughter without having to what she wants when she wants without questions.
Somebody help!! 16/08/2020 at 10:58 am
I'm in a similar situation. 1000s spent on solicitors countless hearings countless checks police cafcass social services! Still in the same position since day one the judge and cafcass social have been on mums side absolutely ludacris how she can stand up in court and lie thru her teeth and accuse me of domestic abuse when it's her that has been battered by her partner with my kids watching! I can't c my kids unless thru a contact centre at my expense! Sock of people getting away with murder and walk g around like they own the place and untouchable!! Fed up Dad!!
simon 24/07/2020 at 12:49 am
Dear Chriss,
don't be upset because you can afford the fact finding hearing!I am doing this since last year jun.I am already done 9 court hearing include the fact finding hearing,the judge asking you for set up!I brought to court many evidence about the mum constant serious allegations against me.On the file sharing hearing the judge accepted all my proof.I had only one allegation as the mum manipulated our son with a voice record which she recorded in my car(bugged my car) in year 2016 when I talked with my mum(long story).So after the judge accepted all my evidence on the fact finding hearing(2 days),first day she told her fake stories,i women from cafcass been there,my ex accidentally confessed as she made a non molestation application with numerous serious allegations in 2016.When the judge asked her why she made them?My ex answered"I don't know"!that was it!The second day the women from cafcass wasn't present.and the second when I stud up answering for my ex solicitor questions the judge stop the hearing ,told me as I can't use my evidences.I shocked but I was calm because I am innocent same as I was in 2016.So I answered all the questions everything was looking good.Than two weeks later on the judgement day was the next.JUDGE"I remind my self as every judgement need made by proofs, no judgement can be made on speculation etc...after this JUDGE"I have no third party evidence or witnesses proofing the mum allegations so I made my judgement on impressions by the parties made on me.
than I was guilty about everything.Why they do this fact finding hearing?Because no matter what they put you in bad position than they (Judge,cafcass etc..) send you to PAI (partner abusing intervention) but the catch with that you will get a bad result if you keep saying as you didn't done those things what the judge found.So than they offering for you some kind of anger management where you have only good result if you say you guilty,than you can go to behaviour management,than the last is parental management when all is done maybe you get visitation but all of this takes around 2 years!!!!!
So no,I can not recommend any fact finding hearing because after they do what ever they want!I just appeal about the fact finding PRE JUDGEMENT.Because the solicitors was hide all the third party evidences because the evidences are only shows the mum lies.But the judge is don't even look she said she is not changes her decision only I can appeal.So this is I do.I have not got solicitor even once,my ex has got always also a other solicitor for my son.I face every time with 2 solicitors (6 different during 1 year) but I still standing because no one can make me feel as I need to give up there is no way I doing that.But if you still want to do the fact finding hearing just write or tell the judge as your child is eligible for the legal funds than ask the judge to write the bill on your child account.I did the same(I regret now) they accepting!Look Chris if you lettin
c laurie 14/07/2020 at 11:15 pm
@con.yeah i can imagine it would be upsetting .but from a legal point of view you have zero rights .go get sum help for your mental health to process your feelings .if i got dna test done i[ personally think] i would be in the same situation .but you are strong and will get though this and it has nothing to do with you .[the mother was the cause from her deceitful promiscuous ways so blame her not yourself ]to many good men have killed there self over this kind of stuff .so you need to speak to a mental health person asap.the mother of my maybe daughter the father of her son killed his self because cheated on him so sad in my book to take your own life over a women its bloody crazy .
Con 14/07/2020 at 9:39 pm
4 months ago my son was born, myself and his mum are not together, but I saw him every day, last week I found out through a DNA test that hes not my son, I'm devastated and need advice on whether I have any rights, I am named on the birth certificate
Tommo 13/07/2020 at 10:52 am
I have not seen my children since sept 2016 and the mum is saying I need go court if I want to see them, I contacted a law firm to see if they can help but they have said I need £1000 upfront to go to court, I have 4 children to 2 different mums so have been told it’s 2 separate cases so therefore I will need £2000 upfront to which I do not have, please is there anyone or organisations that can help me out because I am desperate to see my children and I have been informed my children cry for me all the time and it is not fair the way me and my children are being kept apart.
ANY HELP OR INFO WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED, thank you
Chris 12/07/2020 at 11:29 am
Hi I know there is plenty of fathers in the same situation as me and I just need help I haven’t seen or heard of my children since December 23rd and I’ve been to court around three times and the mother to my children has made a non molestation order against me on the first court I had back in March and now I’m back in court after the 3rd time it’s become a fact finding hearing and I literally can’t afford this one as I’ve been twice this month I was wondering if there was any help towards court fees or some sort of funding I could apply for or get help with

Thanks for reading my comment
Gio 23/06/2020 at 7:59 am
I was abused very badly by my ex partner who has made false allegations and ran off with my baby son who she also abused on occasion. He is 4 months old. My ex is African and illegal in the UK. I was abused mentally and physically finally asking her to leave my home as she was threatening my relationship with my 10 year old daughter. She has now left my home and then went to Women's Aid and told lies in order to get legal status in the UK and cover up her abuse. She continues to harass me and abuse me from her place with the Women's Aid and is continually trying to get my daughter taken away from me by spreading lies. Everything she did to me she has now said that I was doing it to her. I have tried to ask for help from the Social Services who refused to open a case. My concerns and pleas for help have been ignored. I am at the point of a breakdown. I do not sleep or eat properly and am getting very sick.
J 17/06/2020 at 11:54 am
Bit of a strange one but desperate for help and can’t seem to find many examples of my situation!!
A few years ago I found out I had a daughter from a previous relationship, she had told me at the time the pregnancy was mine, but later said it was not mine and In fact someone else’s (his name Is on the birth certificate not mine). Anyway three years later I go back talking to the girl and she says of course the baby is mine!? I get a DNA test which Confirmed. This is now three years ago almost and I’m still not allowed to be in my daughters life (she’s five now) her reason is that I’ve never bothered (She knew the baby was mine but never told me), but she never allowed me to have any access. Since we found out for sure. I have no rights and Now she wants her current boyfriend to adopt my daughter. Please please help
Ragnaa 10/06/2020 at 1:13 pm
Hi all, so I have been trying to change a court order so that my children can spend time with me and my partner her 2 children and our 18 month old baby. I have been trying to do this for 2 years and decided to go down the court route represented by a waste of space solicitor who asked me to provide diaries and report anything that occurred non of this has been used to fight my case in court! There was a hearing due in the next couple of weeks via phone but I have made the decision to stop all proceedings in this case. I had a feeling things were going to go our way but Mum set a trap for me on sons birthday to which I walked straight into played right into her hands I now have been issued with a warning from police to not be abusive nor aggressive or use threatening behaviour towards her! I will never win I just hope my children do come and find me when they get older.
C.laurie 07/06/2020 at 1:14 am
@aneesa.then though social media I have ask for a (DNA test because I do have serous doubts about been the bio father with good reason )and the response was they don’t care if I am or not the bio father they won’t nothing to do with me .any one with any common sense can put to and to together and work out That I think my uncle is the bio father even my cousin krystal ask if her father was bree’s bio father because he is (so overly protective of this teenager) .stuff it I will never find out the complete truth of this matter .and done with it because it’s beneath me in reality.i am happy and at peace now that’s all that matters to me .
C .laurie 06/06/2020 at 9:06 pm
@aneese.yes technically it’s to late he’s son is now a legal adult and can legally make up he’s own mind on who he wants to see and have in he’s life .but there is social media maybe he could send a friend request he’s son might be interested in meeting him now he is adult .i wouldn’t force it just take it slowly because you must remember he son is a adult and it’s been a very long time of no contact.and depends how the son feels now about the idea the ball is in the son court .but still worth dropping a friend request to let he’s son know hey I am hear if you want to meet over beer at a local .
aneesa 06/06/2020 at 7:48 pm
Hi, just wanted to ask on behalf of my Uncle who hasn't seen his son since he was 5. He is now 19. is there anything that can be done legally or is it too late now as he's an adult?
Ragnaa 13/05/2020 at 9:00 pm
@lovingfather5
I must admit social services can do what the hell they want especially when it concerns the mother they always take her side no matter what. I have lost faith in the system due to going thru court so ail services and cafcass to try and get a court order changed spent thousands of pounds on solicitors to still be in the same situation almost 4 years down the line. I have had to make an impossible decision and hope that in the future my children will realise and come and see me.
lovingfather5 13/05/2020 at 1:07 am
I am writing because Social services have taken my kids away from me discretely my back.
On the 15th May 2017 i noticed my wife and children never came back from school, after making few phone calls i discovered they had been taken away from me and social services was behind this disgusting and unforgiving act. I had no knowledge that behind my back the social services will take my wife and children away from me as there was no reason for them to do this. I am not violent or abusive, i am hard working and a loving father. It is true my wife demanded alot of money from me however i gave her whatever i earned from my job.
I have been waiting every day that they will come back as there was no reason for them to be taken away from me. It is coming up to 3 years, i had severe depression and was on the verge of suicide but my friends and neighbours supported me through my mental breakdown. All my neighbours are my witness to my loving and good nature and honest personality.

My wife and i had ups and downs as she always use to argue and ask me for money. When i gave her money she was sending it to her father and brother. Most couples have arguments and issues but i worked hard to provide for my beautiful kids as i love them very much. I wasn't aware that secretly behind my back my wife was working with social services to make a plan to be re-housed up North.
What was my crime?
If you asked my children they will tell you how much they love their dad as i always provided for them took them out to parks and outings and always gave them love and devotion.
There is no report against me and i have never been in trouble with the law.
i feel as they have been kidnapped by my wife and social services helped her as they believed her lies.
To this date nobody has told me anything, im confused and surprised as to which basis they have been taken away as to my knowledge we was living fine apart from arguments now and then.
I am planning go to the press and put in the newspapers as what this service has done is unforgivable.
I still look outside the window hoping my children will come and surprise me.

Please can you guide me or advise me on what else i can do.
I look forward to your reply :(
Ragnaa 11/05/2020 at 12:13 pm
@lynn and @chris sounds similar kind of to what I'm going thru. I've been to court three times now and I've done it both represented an unrepresented by a solicitor and it's seriously hard to win over them even if the children are at risk with mother in my eyes they don't really care until its too late!!
Ragnaa 11/05/2020 at 9:35 am
Hi, me and my children's mum split up 4 years ago, 1 year later I met my now partner who has 2 children and we have a 18 month old together, everything was great my children would come and stay at the weekend and thru school holidays then one day all contact was stopped everything apparently "things happened" when the children were at our house. So after mum and partner went on holiday and left my children with their estranged uncle I decided to go and get my children which led to the police being called and me being accused of kipnap!! I put in a emergency order to which I could have residency of them-of course mum opposed all this on her return to which started a nightmare of a court case. There were accusations thrown around malicious reports cafcass, social services and still no way of seeing my children until the final hearing where funds were very tight and led me to go to the hearing completely unrepresented which mum and solicitor and judge saw and made my time in there hell not only did the judge tear strips off me mum and solicitor come up with a order to which not knowing what I was signing as I just wanted to see my children I had had enough. The order stated that I would not allow contact with my partner or her children something I thought I could change within a matter of months however this was far from the case. I had my children every weekend and also some holidays at my families house obviously away from my partner and children. Xmas 2018 my family member sadly passed away which meant the housee and my children stayed in would be sold to which I explained to mum the situation and asked of would consider contact to start again at my house with my partner to od course disagreed. In an already upsetting time I had to decide how contact would continue which eventually led me to rent a separate property so that I could still see my children this caused a tremendous amount of stress upset for myself my partner and all 5 children. Our daughter was very poorly shortly after her birth to whxi she spent many nights in hospital some of these were weekends and when I had my children and mum wasn't interested and called it "our drama" qmd not to take my children home to her so I could go to hospital to support my daughter and partner! In August 201o there was a serious incident at my children's house in whichum was taken to hospital and the children were taken to her partners house who she had a non molestation order on!! I was told that mum had told the hospital that he had control over everything should anything go wrong while in hospital. Which meant I could see the children but return them to him I reluctantly agreed to this as previously the police were involved and I didn't want the children going thru anymore than they already had. I decided now was the time to get this order changed. When mum came out of hospital contact was again stopped as I had breached the order to which I gave up my house and got a new 3 bedroom house with m
Clairey 07/05/2020 at 6:19 pm
Hi, my boyfriends daughter is rarely accessible & the grandmother has isolated her & I think she has a likely case of Munchausen's.
Has anyone had this kind of situation before?
Chris 10/03/2020 at 12:01 am
@tarot,this is from the bottom off my heart I really would love to have my surname removed legally from the child. I don’t care about her education or if she was raped or if she every needs surgery or if she ever died or if she is living with her boyfriend or if she a lesbian I don’t care or won’t to know I want no responsibility off the child .if she was ever was killed in a car crash I don’t want to know about it .it is up to the mother and her partner to take care off the funeral .i surrendered all my rights way back in 08 and it was the best decision off my life .and if people want to hate on me over that they can right a letter to someone who cares .the only trouble they will get is they ever turned up at my house so I hope they don’t because I would slam the door in her face and tell her F off .i am not your father and I want nothing to do with you .
Tarot 06/03/2020 at 2:49 am
Hi there I'm tarot um I rilly don't no wear to start or wear to /ho to tern to i um I have 2 children my ex partner long story etc my ex purtner has stopped me repeatedly from seeing my children it's beene 18 month since I last saw and even spoken to them my ex has had a saver stroke child services have been involved since we first split up i repeatedly told children services about my concerns about my ex purtner alcohol problems and drug abuse and her drink driving with my children in the car but children service repeatedly told me that they have no concerns about my concerns but not even 24 hours she gets poled over by the police she got cort drink driving with both my children in the car with no saetbelts on so I phoned children service up to find out what going on but thay again told me that there's no concerns about this my ex partner has naw had a saver stroke and has been in hospital for about 2 month my children are with her new partner that left his own child and family to be with mine only just found out that they was having a relationship with one another wilst I was at work. Children service are not letting me see them or letting me have my children back i have been fighting for my children since . As there mother is in hospital with no moter skills to even feed her self . i have parental responsiblety and perunts rights to my children but children service are dinying me my fathers righys and dinying my children from me I'm sorry I'm so desperate I'm literally crying trying to right this i rilly don't know what the hell to do eny more im so desperate I don't know what to do not more apart from well it's come to that point were I'm not sure if I can live like this no more please help me please
Suki 26/02/2020 at 8:11 pm
Please can someone help my son has been fighting a custody battle for a long time, his daughter lived with him for 4 months. They have been going to court and up to recently social service backed him and in fact it was them that instructed him to keep his daughter. The court's have now allowed daughter to start staying at her mother's for half the time. He was due to pick her up from school today but social service told him not to because his daughter has said he has punched on her leg apparently this happened 2 weeks ago. I can assure this did not happen. She's has been very happy and stable while living with him. I can't tell you how many times he has been in court all this without a solicitor.
Tuddy 29/01/2020 at 5:59 pm
My daughters partner has had a court order giving him full parental rights to his son. For the past 5 yrs.The birth mother has now died. But He is not on the childs birth certificate, does this mean that the mothers next of kin, who have also been absent from his life, could have any say in his future? And how does he go about getting his name on the B Certificate.
Chris 10/11/2019 at 6:15 pm
@lyn.i can relate to your story,I myself have sent threatening messages to child mother and been on (multiple orders) .i do not contact her anymore and never will again and( I hope )none off (my family )do because I really don’t want to get in trouble again and face court again gods truth )my dilemma now is my daughter is growen up teenager now and I think it’s (not worth )going to court for visitation now .because the last time I seen her she was 5 and now she is (15 ).so yeah I don’t think I will ever see her again to be honest with the way things are between her mother and myself .but( goodluck )to all the other dads out there my advice is don’t fight your ex get a solicitor ASAP if you want rights to your child.
Lyn 10/11/2019 at 7:40 am
My son got a girl pregnant when he was 21 she 19. He now 22 and she 20. They were not together as boyfriend and girlfriend and she told him she couldn't have children. Next thing she pregnant. When baby arrived he gave it a go as boyfriend and girlfriend. Things were ok but he said he did not feel anything for her, me and his told told him to end it as he can't string her along. He ended it with her and few months down line he got involved with another girl nothing serious at first. That's when the baby mummy turned. Her and her mum started picking on my son. Anything he done for his daughter was not good enough. He was getting put down all time over things he brought for his daughter, with them saying its not suitable. Her mum is very controlling and has always criticised my son, she seems to think she got more rights of my sons daughter and would always interfere. It all escalated and my son lost it. He screamed abuse at baby mummy and he regretted this as he feels they pushed him to it. Next thing court order was served on him to stay away from her. He not allowed to contact her not even family members are. The only way he can now see his daughter is to go court which will cost a fortune. Contents of the order was totally exaggerated. Although he did scream abuse to her, he was not controlling. She said he didn't like her talking to boys this is all lies, he didn't want to be with her so really didn't care about other boys. He once got a picture of her sent to him by another boy, she was naked in his bed, she was the manipulative one and yet she told courts my son was. And now he unable to see his daughter because she did not like it he moved on. I'm actually disgusted as a woman that this is happening all time. These girls seem to think there children are weapons and it should not be allowed. Its almost blackmail that if a father steps out of line he looses his children. Where should this be allowed to happen.
Vera 12/08/2019 at 10:29 am
Hi my son has a baby with his now ex-girlfriend .The baby has lived with us since birth and her mum left her here when she left.She has temporary accommodation which she’s had since before giving birth ,but never moved into as was here.When she moved out she didn’t hardly visit ,despite the fact she’s getting child benefit.My sonhad topay her busfare to get her to come visit her baby.My son and myself have cared for the child since birth.Niw the mum keeps messing around changing days /dates to have her baby then when she does she keeps saying she’s not bringing her back .She wants to continue the relationship with my son ,but he doesn’t he just wants to look after and continue to care for his child.She has her child for 3nights recently and 2of the nights she went out patting at events and left her with her dad.Why take her those nights if she can’t be bothered to spend the time with her.He went to solicitors but not able to get legal aid .So just trying to get some advice please .He wants mum to see the baby and spend time with her Obviously ,but she keeps threatening to keep her and this has been her hime since birth.
Astro 19/07/2019 at 10:22 pm
I was a victim of DV for 11 years. I stayed to protect the children. Female partner very narcissistic and has had me arrested, charged, taken to Court and has alienated me from my two girls aged 9 & 10 .. I have NEVER been a threat, yet she says time & again she lives in fear, she has lied in court at every opportunity and I can prove this, yet nobody listens to me.
My girls are PETRIFIED of their mother and yet she has full custody and I have none, the judge saw fit to take away my visitation rights when I was so upset in court, slammed my papers on the desk & walked out as I couldnt listen to her lies , through the courts she has manipulated her way to taking away my rights as a father ... She has stopped almost all of my visits ( my girls were so happy and loved seeing me .. .. but gave been manipulated and bribed into saying things about myself and my new partner that simply arnt true ) and court ordered pick ups by taking my girls out of school and has even snatched one daughter aggressively from my elderly mother in front of School teachers, headmistress & governors... who have completely changed there attitude towards me (my ex had me known as a wife beater ) and are now very supportive. The girls have guardians and social workers who see my utter frustration as aggression ... my ex comes over as wanting to build bridges and helpful and I'm seen as fixated and angry, of which I am, but only to get my children safe .. I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN ANY TROUBLE and have plenty of evidence to show re domestic abuse and mental cruelty towards myself and the children yet I am still seen as the perpetrator. What can I do ? The final court date has been postponed because she didnt attend a psych assessment.... I did .... please please help .. people are being so judgemental and plain dismissive..... I've been seen just once with the girls with social workers while the ex is seen continually.
Proton 06/07/2019 at 12:02 pm
My financial divorce settlement final hearing concluded on Thursday. My wife was awarded 90% of our shared equity. Our marriage was short, just three years. My wife wanted the divorce and has relentlessly driven me through court. We earn a similar amount of money. We have one child a together he is four.
The judge cited my conduct as the primary reason why he awarded my wife 90% of our shared equity.
His delineations were all based on conjecture. No evidence was presented regarding my conduct to substantiate the judges injunction
I intend to appeal this decision. Im hoping for some advice.
Lia 28/06/2019 at 9:07 pm
Hi I moved to a refuge as the situation in the house was unbearable so many swearing and breaking things.

I had called the police once because he hit me.

Só social services had been called.

I could have this opportunity to be in a refuge and start life again.

But they don’t allow my girls to see the father.

Now I am so worried.

First I know he won’t hurt me or hurt the girls (he never did he is an amazing dad)

My girls are crying for him and I am sure he is also.

Does someone know what can I do to help him see them?

I really want them to see each other.

I definitely don’t want to go back to him.

I do want to start fresh but I want them to see him.

It is so awkward because they keep saying he might use the girls to control me.

I know he wouldn’t.

I am scared to death now.

Can they remove this girls from me if I bring the girls to see him?

Can I bring them to see him?

One charity told me it is not illegal if I do but they don’t recommend.

I don’t what they mean by this.

They don’t recommend for safety but it is up to me to judge my family life?

Or they can intervene and remove my girls from me also?

Please fathers help me to help their dad.

He is an amazing dad - breaks my heart to see the girls suffering and breaks my heart to know he is devastes.

Who would not be in desespero with their children?
Bulldog 28/04/2019 at 5:57 pm
My ex want let me see my child but she wants to take him abroad this thersday but do she need my promotion to take him i dont rely want to stop him going but only to day i found out she is taking him but i really wont to see my littal boy and i dont know what is the best thing to do if he goes he hi mam cant say noting to him to posan him or do i block her from taking him and my son is only 4 but he has 2 older brothers and i dont want them to loos out with there brother please please help i really dont know what to do
chris 21/04/2019 at 4:18 am
@matty yeah it is long and expensive route to take makes it even harder if you have [orders on you] .[from sending silly child like messages ].but the mother off my child is a mother .and i am [strong and happy ]and her daughter is[ grown up now with her own life] .i changed my number to [start a fresh] .i will let her mother and her daughter get on with it .
Matty 16/04/2019 at 9:51 pm
Reply to the do I have to have to have permission to apply to go for a court order to get a c100 is no. as long as your ex partner refuses to go for the mediation process then the next option is c100 long and expensive process .good look
Flog 16/04/2019 at 12:37 pm
Hi, I am after some advice regarding consent orders.
I have a consent order in place dating back to 2013 whereby I pay 'x' amount and have my 2 boys 2 nights a week, those days were flexible between us as I different worked shifts. Since 2014 my boys have stayed with me 3-4 days a week but I kept the payments going and was still paying for all sorts of other things on top as we do. I was happy to do this for the sake of the boys and an easy life as ultimately I was getting what I wanted having my boys so much.
Last year I felt the money I was giving was not being spent as it should and the school contacted me numerous times regarding their uniform but I refused to buy extra uniform when I am paying my ex and other things on top so I drew the line and after a blow up via texts where she told me to 'shove my money up my arse'.... so I did. I opened a separate account titled CSA and put the same money in this account every month. I bought loads of clothes including uniform and kept all receipts. This went on for 4-5 months until she recently went to the CSA and so I have now started her payments again. (no big deal, happy to pay just don't want it going her new lips!!). But she also trying to enforce the 2 days only , even though over the years it has been anything but 2 days!
I now want to go to court to have the consent order ended and go for joint custody as I have had shared custody almost from the off. I am filling in the C100 form, is this the right form? Do I need permission to go to court? Do I have to try mediation (MIAM) first?
My circumstances have now changed, I live closer to their school, I work Mon-Friday, days only I am having an extension done, starting this month so they will their own bedrooms (which they don't at their mothers), I have regular contact with their school, I haven't missed parent evenings, school plays, sports days etc....I have been a massive regular part of their life from day 1 and so I am very confident of winning in court but any advice regarding how to go about it would be most appreciated. Thanks
Tony 03/04/2019 at 9:38 am
Please tell me 1 are company and personal pension contributions deducted from gross earnings for CM payments and 2 can I deduct weekend stopovers from my weekly CM payment and 3 can I deduct 50% of my daughters travel costs as my my former wife refuses to contribute
Thank you
Sammy 27/03/2019 at 12:00 am
I have my son 106 days on a rota basis plus extra in the school holidays over the year. This has been an ongoing agreement between us for many years, but has never been to court.
I have always paid maintenance of £250 per month to my ex via direct payment. In addition I pay extra school activities and buy school uniform
Recently my ex has asked for a recalculation via CMS, she has lied telling them I only have my son 89 days per year. This has resulted in an increase in my payments based on a lie.
CMS chose to take her word for this and are refusing to believe me. I have no proof what can I do?
I believe this to be fraud and obtaining money be deception.
Can you advise please
Fairtrade 05/03/2019 at 3:04 pm
Hi, I need some advice my son recently became a one parent family (opf). In the past the parent paying maintenance could pay this money directly to the children for the children. The children paid tax on this when they reached the tax exemption level. I don’t know what the current rate is....£11000/14000....it’s somewhere around this and you personally would know this if you are in paid employment. This I assume you are. Can you tell me from your legal advisors what the exact wording is. The Government are not aware of this nor do they want to be aware, so seeking information from Them is not an option. Currently the children of all opf who get a maintenance payment are losing a lot as the parent in receipt of maintenance must add this to their income and this money is in effect being taxed twice. Once at source and then when it is added to the receivers income it will be taxed again. I appreciate any help you can give me today. Thanks.
Kay87 16/01/2019 at 8:22 pm
Need some help and advise. I dropped my wife off to a family wedding on Xmas day 2018. She told me wanted to stay for a few days with her family following the wedding with the kids. She has not returned. I called and sent her many messages asking when she was coming home but she had ignored all my communication. However, she called me a few times and just gave the phone to my 2 year old son to talk. But till this day she has not spoken to me. 1 week ago she sent me a message saying she has left with the kids and will not return. I do not know there whereabouts and she has now blocked my number. However she will unblock my number as and when she wants to call and let me speak to the kids but then block me again. I have reached out to a solicitor, who has tried to contact her via email. How her my wife is not communicating with solicitor either. My solicitor today sent a email saying she will start court preceedings by the end of the week if she does not hear back from her as she has ignored all communication to try and mediate. Is this the right approach is there anything else I can do, I do not want it to go to court and would rather try mediation or take a more amicable approach. I have instructed a solicitor for only 1 week and she has sent 3 emails and I have had to pay almost 1000 pounds already. The solicit has told me if it goes to court it will cost around 4000 for first hearing only. Any advise or help would be much appreciated. I am confusedand Desperate. Thank you
JM 07/01/2019 at 9:53 am
Hi, my ex partner who I have a 3 year old boy with is in an abusive relationship, I know this for certain as she has sent me proof of this and I have had to come to her aid a number of times, she refuses to stop seeing the abusive partner. I am massively concerned for my boy, what options do I have in relation to stopping the abusive partner seeing my son.
BDJ178 11/12/2018 at 9:24 am
In need of help and advice.
I chose to leave the family home about 3 months ago due to constant accusations none of which I was guilty of i was seeing my kids regular each week up until 3 weeks ago when she stopped all contact I can't afford a solicitor and mediation is out of the question as I know the mother will not agree to it please can you help.
H 23/11/2018 at 9:16 pm
Am I allowed to have 2 barristers for my family matter ? I have been in court since 2014 Had weekend handover mother unilateral stoped contact in 2015 , I took her back to court she failed to attend for handover at the contact centre took her back to court and then again. She failed to attend again. And then didn’t show up to court again twice after penal notice was attached she showed and the I saw kids 3 times then she stopped contact again . 2 years had already passed now we were in 2017. She failed to attend again then finally saw my kids in 2018 then the kids had been brainwashed as I only saw them 4 times since 2015 . Judge didn’t enforce any orders or carry out the penal notices even though they had been attached to the court orders which were broken and most she didn’t show up even . I’m disgusted at this system. As a father I feel descriminated against. Also the Caffcass guardian has been very obstructive as well as she suggested no contact - because children needed a cooling period.
JusticeMatters 11/09/2018 at 5:57 pm
Hi my boyfriends baby mother was a controlling person and made him marry her by cutting herself and saying she will kill herself if he didn’t marry her so he did she even told him to sell his home and kick out his elderly parents. She use to force feed him and he’d have to compliment her food after first mouthful and tell him when he’s allowed to sleep and when he’s allowed to wake up and every other day she would kick him out and make him sleep in the car so she knew he wasn’t out cheating. They had a kid together and he did everything she wanted just to spend time with his kid and at on point not long after the kids 4th birthday they split up and she would call randomly early hours in the morning after he would work all night and say take your son to school as his sons school is near where he lived and she lives half an hour drive from it so he would even though exhausted he would jump at the chance just to spend that half an hour with his son but he weren’t allowed to just visit him as he pleases. Just random times she would call him tell him to take her shopping and make him pay which he never mind nor complained about it due to him feeling like he’s feeding his son and the woman that’s looking after his son. Sometimes she would say for him to come visit the son so he would drive up then when he gets there she says why are you here I will call the police if you don’t go and everytime breaking his heart as he’d just got excited to see his son. She then told him to take his son school every Tuesday and Thursday but would either turn her phone off at the night or tell him early hours in the morning that she don’t want him taking the son. Proper mess about he was also told he isn’t allowed to take the son near his brother and sisters and the rest of his family. Then out of no where she calls the police and says that he held a knife to his throat so he got arrested and bailed out she also did a non molestation order on him and then 2 and a half months later she was in his area and she saw him in his car and all he did was saw his son reversed got out the car and asked if he could hold him as his heart was aching over the months to see him and then she called police and said he tried to run over his son and her with his car which is all lies he’s the one who’s been under her control over the years he’s scared of what she can do and more then anything he loves his son and he respects his baby mother for the fact she looks after him and gave birth to him. Anyways with this second lie he’s now being held on remand based on her false allegations and he’s not allowed bail till the main hearing :/ I’m not sure what I can do to help him get his rights as a father to see his child and for this false allegation to be dropped.
SeparatedDads Editor 10/09/2018 at 12:13 pm
The complication comes if your child hasn't informed the college that he/she is leaving (if for instance, your child is on a two-year course then they are still in the system as being so). Until your child is no longer on the register and child benefit is stopped as a result, there is little you can do as the parent is eligible to receive child maintenance until child benefit officially stops.
Hibbs 09/09/2018 at 8:32 pm
Can some please advise I’m losing the will with the CMS’ I’m constantly telling that the child slash Know a 18 year adult left college in June and is no longer going back to college in September I know that I have to pay until the 31st if August but they keep sending letters saying the case will be reviewed in May 2019’ by then the adult will be 19. They keep saying that as long as the other parent is showing on they system that she’s in receiving child benefit there is nothing they can do until she’s no longer getting child benefit. But how can you have child benefit for a adult no longer in education.
SeparatedDads Editor 04/09/2018 at 10:22 am
In this instance the Separated Dads Forum may be able to help. We have dads who can advise personally, if they have been through a similar situation previously.
Bogie7 30/08/2018 at 7:26 pm
Hi everyone, today I got a letter through my door by my ex partner informing me that she has put my children in another school 3 days before term starts. What this means for me is that the original school was on the same road as my mum and data who have been taking them and collecting them whilst I have to work. I have 50/50 shared care. I was not informed and the school where she has put them is close to where she has moved but now my parents could not make the extra journey 4 miles away . It doesn't sound a lot but my mum and dad are in there 70s and I feel guilty as it is .
I applied for an emergency court hearing on this today to try and stop this . Anyone got any advise or been through something similar. It's all designed to stop me having or being able to get contact for more maintenance money
SeparatedDads Editor 05/06/2018 at 9:46 am
It is always easy from an outsider's perspective to label people with a personality disorder without any concrete medical verification of this. You have no other recourse but to either request mediation and if she refuses then court is your last option. Unfortunately, in circumstances such as this only a judge can decide on the back of a Cafcass investigation.
SeparatedDads Editor 04/06/2018 at 11:35 am
You can see more via whichwhich will tell you all you need to know.
PMB139 04/06/2018 at 11:14 am
I have a 13 years old daughter and 9 and 12 years old sons. I have regular contacts with my two sons for weekends and holidays. But my daughter has cut me off for now reason and made no contact with me for three years. Last year my daughter and I made contact for three months by texting each other and finally agreed to come to see me for a lunch and bowling with boys just before Xmas last year. It was wonderful and we had a great time. Before i took her home, i asked her if she enjoyed it. She gave me a thumb up. Then i took boys with me for Xmas. I texted her next day to say it was great to see her and hope to see her again very soon. no contact or response from her since. I made some effort to get her contact with me. Her number was changed. Very bizarre. I asked one of my son to text her that i said hello and love you. Next thing I received an email from her but it was not from her. it was my ex wrote this email and saying my daughter want no contact and want her surname changed to double barrel surname with my ex and mine. I didn't respond to that email. In past few years, numbers of emails was sent to me few times and actually written by my ex using her email address, I knew it was not my daughter's writing. It was sick. I have no way of contacting my daughter and feel helpless. Is there anyway to resolve this and to prevent my daughter brainwashed by my ex? Any advice would be great and i have limited access because of my deafness so use email or text messaging. I am completely put off by CAFCASS or any court case as they are farce and crap! Some good friends with social service experience mentioned that my ex have a personality disorder or Munchhausen's syndrome and a manipulative and compulsive liar. Many thanks
Smiley 03/06/2018 at 2:13 am
My fellas ex wont let him see his kids. Does mediation cost as i know he said his not intitled to legal aid. Thanks in advance
c.laurie 30/05/2018 at 12:55 am
And after reading about my rights and reliving my past .I have decided to not fight my x legally to see my daughter the pinning has gone the realization and understanding The truth of my situation and the ill feelings I have for my x and others involved Are to strong and will never change .plus i reached out to my daughter got nothing back i take that a sign and will blocking her her step father or step mother can have her .i tried to change from the inside out and be like these young men I work with and how they are single dad going out doing things With there children putting posts up of there children friends with there ex and new boyfriends co parent .in reality i am nothing like that if i am honest i hate my x and would knock her boyfriend clean out if come to my place so guess i am dog and i will what dogs do and keep living my life the way it is because i love pub and football ,golfing again my mates are happy i am back to my old self and out of my depression of the past .your blogs have been educational but back when i went though it they were not around or maybe because i didnt have internet or was to busy in the pub chasing tail and playing pool and watching the fights .but if i ever do get the chance to have another kid i will be educated now so thank you much .
c.laurie 29/05/2018 at 11:19 pm
As I read these story's of help organizations that help dads .if I am completely honest with you I didn't no they where around .when my x and daughter left years ago I was happy gods truth .i was going out sleeping with different women having fun it was like i was 18 again .and if i am honest i did not give my daughter a second thought back then and for years forgot about been father .i seen a photo of my daughter at 11 last time i seen her she was 5 and for the first time i felt like i needed to change i was getting older the pubs whores where not making me happy any more and started to feel sad and looked down on myself for not getting a legal help for rights years ago and i went into a depression my mates thought i was broken i didnt want to go to the pub or to the football Just went to work and just stayed home like it was bad .my mates turned up said wtf is wrong with you i said i was sad about not getting my daughter years ago and they said wtf its been years and you have not mentioned her or spoke her name in years I said i know but i feel it now for some reason .that was a few years ago now and i am back to my old self now but yeah it was intense feeling of lose and pinning for my daughter it was strange feeling weird it was like i was reliving my past and the emoitions And signs i turn off to years ago that i didnt pay attention to i felt them with full force years later if that makes cents. And i felt rage hurt sadness madness with myself for staying noting fighting.now when i look at these people i look down on them and have just wiped the lot .thanks
Millwall 29/05/2018 at 1:54 am
I wave reacently suffered from addiction and mental illness as a result lost my wife and daughter well had social work turn them against me in court and I’m first to admit I’m no angel in all this but do think I’ve been treated unfairly wither a court order placed that I can’t contact my wife or kid nor them contact me now been evicted from our family home as of the 6th of June everything in the house will go to my wife and kid I feel as I’ve been railroaded by social services and victimised for my religion by one of there workers I’m sure if things where dealt with in a better manner considering my addiction to alcohol and mental health issues this could have been fixed as I was attending services for help
Doc 02/05/2018 at 9:48 pm
Hello all ,looking for advise on fathers rights .what rights do we act have?what support is there out there for us .please help me .
SeparatedDads Editor 20/04/2018 at 10:33 am
I am sorry to hear this and it is understandable that he feels this way, as many individuals do when a family splits apart. Apart from the advice laid out in the article, you can see more whichas losing your family can bring about similar emotions to bereavement. Likewise, all the articles on the Separated Dads pages aim to help, as does the forum which is run by volunteers and can help your friend if he wishes to find out more from both a practical and emotional angle. If he has a good friend such as you who is supporting him through this difficult time, it can be a massive help.
Friend 19/04/2018 at 7:03 pm
Hi Folks!
I have A good friend who has experienced, this past 3 months, mental and physical turmoil and describes himself as a basket case. He has lost 2 and a half stone and is a bit of an emotional wreck. His wife has walked out on him, taken thousands of pounds worth of valuables, all the house and business paperwork , including bank statements , business assets , family car and his only child (9 year old daughter). He is in his late 50's, hardly able to hold it together at the moment and appears at times as though he is about to burst. It is worrying to witness his bouts of verbal and physical enragement. I'm increasingly worried for his health and well being . Can someone please advise who I can contact that may be able to help my troubled friend.
AidenB Editor 29/03/2018 at 1:58 pm
@UpsetFather - the main thing you have to watch out for is not slagging off your ex or badmouthing how your ex brings your kid up or her parenting skills. The court is not interested in mud-slinging towards ex's, they are interested in your child's welfare only. Unless you can prove any of the accusations you are making, I wouldn't bother. Concentrate on speaking about your son and ignore any temptation to bad-mouth your ex. Do the anger management course and anything the court requests you to do. Most standard access is every other weekend and possibly one night in the week. Remember, this is all about your son, so make sure it stays that way. Agree with everything and challenge nothing. If you work with the court the court will try and work with you. Best of luck.
UpsetFather 29/03/2018 at 12:05 am
Can someone please help me. I separated from my child's mother fully in June last year and since then she's made contact with my son beyond difficult, I tried mediation but she did not turn up so I decided to take her to court. There have been no domestic violence in any way. At the moment I see my son ONCE a week I pick him up on Friday and drop him off on Saturday at a time and place she's demanded with no compromise I don't even get 24 hours in a week with my child who I seen being brought into this world and spent 99% of the days he's been here with him until we split. After a few adjournments because of allegations she made which meant I've got to do an anger management course on her say so I've built a relationship with our social worker to try and come to a middle ground of how much time I get to spend with my son and she's not budging I fear the courts won't serve justice and mean while my son gets passed around her friends and family before me. I am due in court again in may this year to hopefully at least get full weekends with my son which I still think isn't enough especially when the courts are now talking about alternative weekends. I don't really think I am explaining this as well as I should so for now I will leave it here and see if I can get some professional advice from this organisation, just to let you know there's a bucket full of incidents regarding my son in her care this includes cuts, bruises, burns, senial baby sitters, suicidal ex partners looking after my son and a mother who also drink drives. I decided to represent myself as I thought it would be a clear case of equal parenting how wrong I was please can I have advice on what I should do to make sure my son has the best outcome in this entire mess please. Thank you
Web 26/02/2018 at 9:52 am
Hi, separated from my long term partner of 14 years 4 weeks ago now and she has stopped me seeing my two children through the week to just 1 day a weekend!
This making it hard to even grab this opportunity also inturn damaging and making my relationship with my children weaker!
What are the steps I need to get a fair shared parental responsibility please? as this is her last go at controlling our lives
Danthe Editor 15/01/2018 at 2:23 pm
@George - only if the situation changes can the matter be referred back to court. So if she actually becomes homeless then you would be able to make a new application.
George 13/01/2018 at 1:30 pm
Hi,
my ex wife and I have a final CAO for shared residence with the children living with her 5 nights fortnightly. When the children are with her, the youngest one doesn't attend a nursery, and the eldest is late for school on the most days.
Ex has a room in a shared accommodation. Her current job is temporary and will end in 2 months. Due to her unwillingness/inability to find another job, she will end up being homeless.
Is it possible to vary current CAO for the children to live with me?
Welsh1 04/01/2018 at 12:07 am
Hi,

All looking for some advice if anyone can provide.

I need help I’ve cuurrently got my two children as me and my partner split recently when I asked her not to come back home after yet another telephone call screaming at me.

One is registered disabled.

The main reason I asked for my partner not to return is I wish to protect my children from there big brothers (another dad not meant in a bad way).

There is so much involved that I can’t go into openly on here.

However I’ve discovered today my partner has went via homeless and is speaker no to social workers and I’m scared I lose my kids.

I have said full and equal visitation/custody but I want to be there legal guardianship so when I need to say enough is enough and remove them from a situation I can.

I don’t mean remove forever but an individual situation that occurs then return later (sorry if that didn’t make sense)
Chrissy 27/12/2017 at 8:36 am
Hi I am in need of some guidance our son (21) his now ex girlfriend is having our grandchild in February 2018 .
She and her family have told us that we will never see the baby and that our son will never be the dad to the child .
Our son has taken this news very bad to the point of taking an overdose toend his life as he so so wants them both in his life .
He is now getting help Vi the hospital for himself but as this year comes to an end and February will be here soon and the girlfriend says she will not put dads name on birth certificate and as I have read on many posts if he isn’t named he has no rights please if anyone has any advice will be very grateful
Chris
AJ 26/12/2017 at 7:38 pm
I am asking on behalf of my partner. Him and his ex have a 6yr old daughter recently her ex’s boyfriend head butted his DD Mum and has restrained his DD. He was arrested but we found out today that she is planning on him moving back in, 6 yo told her Mum that it’s fine but has told us different and will be happy to live with us. Her mum is threatening to pick her up tomoro with the police. We want her to live with us to make sure she is safe and not seeing the violence (he’s been arrested numerous times... we found out today) where do we stand her Mum and my partner never married but he’s on the birth certificate. We are very worried about her :-( thanks
SeparatedDads Editor 14/12/2017 at 11:47 am
You can download the C100 contact form to apply to court via whichif the restraining order has expired.
Shell-shocked 25/11/2017 at 12:33 pm
I have been Married to a woman who has been suffering from a long time mental illness for at least 4 years.
On her last long-term stay in hospital and after a long period of mental abuse and damaging behavior to myself and in some part my daughter, I moved out taking my 4 year old with me.
We are now going through a custody hearing in the next few weeks. My wife has came out of hospital and has eather suddenly recovered or is still sick and hiding her symptoms. She has a letter from her doctor who says she is well enough to look after a child at present!
I have had to all for access today and am grately worried about the situation. This situation is complicated futher by my wife's constant threats to take our 4 year old back to Oz with her.
Can you please help me with some practical advice on dealing with this situation and how to deal with a divisive behavior.
SeparatedDads Editor 28/09/2017 at 11:04 am
If the mother of your child has made a previous claim to CMS/CSA and you avoided paying, then your ex can request back pay. However, if you were unaware you had a child and no payment was ever officially requested, then the mother cannot claim. However, she can make a claim from now and you would be deemed responsible for paying. If you are in doubt whether you are the father, then you would have to request a DNA test either directly and/or through the courts, You would be expected to pay child maintenance until the test proved otherwise.
Corn 27/09/2017 at 2:40 pm
I found out I had a child who is 10 but I was never told about it and now she wants me yo pay after 10 years of not ever knowing about it do I have rights
Denise Morrell 07/09/2017 at 12:36 pm
My son is the father of 4 children which he is separated from their mother plays god with their lives allowing him to see them when it suits her. She has now moved with all the children and will not give us the address there are no restraining orders can she do this it is driving him and me insane please help
Dg1981 27/07/2017 at 1:53 pm
My ex partner is in temporary accommodation and says that our 3 children can not stay with me until they have been rehoused as this is a stipulation the local council has made, Can a local council enforce this as it only means I get to spend 9 hours a week with my children. Any advice would be greatful.
Pete 08/06/2017 at 3:22 pm
Me an my ex split up years ago I see my lad regular every week end his mum is now with some one else an has got a kid with him my son does not get on with mum's new partner an feels like he's getting pushed out an often tells me that he wants to live with me how would I go about doing this I no she would not agree to this but I know my lad would be better of an happier with me
Jimmy 12/04/2017 at 1:17 pm
Hi I split with my partner couple of years ago since the split things have been very tense with her new partner and I was having contact with my children but after a incident where my ex and her new partner came and took the kids of me and I was involved in a tragic insident in the process they have stopped all contact to the point the children are locked behind closed doors so I can't see them. They have been given a non molestion order in this time due to me trying to contact them through solicitors. I am struggling to find financial help to get the contact back withmy children can anyone help .
SeparatedDads Editor 12/04/2017 at 11:42 am
If you disagree wit the mother taking your daughter out of the country without your consent, and you have parental responsibility for your child, then you can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order via the courts. A PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may permanently leave the area with their children. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. I hope this helps.
ezee 11/04/2017 at 4:51 pm
Hi the mother of my daughter has changed her name and been taking her abroad without my consent I really need to know what I can do about this. I can't seem to find any free advice.
ozzy 16/03/2017 at 7:53 pm
hi guys, as you mean know fathers are finally allowed to share parental leave, however employers are still discriminating against fathers by not paying them as much as mothers for the same leave, please sign and share this petition to put a stop to this:

https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/184885
Tripletrio 08/03/2017 at 7:04 pm
Can anyone help me please I have triplets and there mother has took them from there Suffolk home to Liverpool to live I've been to court now twice but I've got no where I'm due to go back again in may but I'm banging my head against A brick wall the court has also lost. Paper work that I've sent in please is there anything I can do I need to see my children thanks
trevster1966 04/03/2017 at 12:29 am
My ex-partner and I adopted our son in 2014. We separated in September 2016 by mutual consent with absolutely no violence on my part. We just had heated aarguments like any couple at the end of thheir relationship.. She initially moved to a location in Stratford London with my son and I had regular access. However since 03/02/2017 I have not seen my son as my ex informed me that she was moving in with her boyfriend (who I have no knowledge of) in Whitstable. I have not seen my son since this date and she refuses to provide details of her address. I am now extremely worried about my son as I have no idea if he is safe. A am sure that I have parental responsibility. Is she entatiled to just move awaw (1) without my content and (2) without any forwarding address for deatsl of my son's nursey and school? Please help with any steps I can take I am going out of my mind with worry.
Nick 09/01/2017 at 7:27 pm
Can anyone tell me how I can get to see my 5 yr old son .my wife left me 5 months ago she has told lots of lies about me and had managed to be put in a women's refuge. I have my 50 per cent right and was allowed access once after this my wife has stopped all contact cutting phone off etc.i can't afford solictor fees and just want to be a father to my son ,if anyone can help me I would be so grateful.thanks
Aimi 19/11/2016 at 8:25 pm
Hi.

How do we amend a contact order when time over christmas holidays isnt set out. We have eow but bm says no as xmas eve should be with her even though its our weekend. We have tried to agree for time after xmas instead. Again a no as thats her time. My husband has eow and wednesday eve and she's trying to take that away in the holidays which isnt right. My husband wants the time with his son and is trying to be reasonable and fair and discuss when but bm is not following the court order.
Macca 12/09/2016 at 5:24 am
Hi, my wife accused me of rape after 17 years together just to get me out of our family home because she met someone else. I was arrested and bailed on police bail even though she couldn't tell them when it happened, apparently it was weeks ago!! I have to contact her through a third party now it's been 5 weeks since I've seen my kid's and she is still refusing saying we need a written contact agreement through solicitors I can't afford a solicitor help
Mr B 30/07/2016 at 6:33 pm
My wife and I have been separated for over 4 years now my son is 3 and a half, I have had regular contact with him since his birth, things have got bad between me and my son's mother, we can't even get on when I pick him up, she has recently stop contact between me and my son, what are my options? I don't earn enough to hire a solicitor, I have no way off contacting her as she has blocked every avenue and says if I go to the house she will call police
SeparatedDads Editor 16/06/2016 at 2:29 pm
It is a very difficult situation to advise on as quite often when a relationship splits arguments can spiral out of control and sometimes there is no way back from this. I can see you have a more rational side to you, that can obviously see there are other ways than confrontation to deal with a situation. However, while you may have this opinion, his ex may not quite see things in quite the same way. Many primary carers see being the resident parent as a tool of control and you have two ways of dealing with this either trying to be the bigger person, please see link: Developing an Amicable Relationship With Your Ex, here and/or Using Reverse Psychology Effectively, here. If this is not effective, then the other way is taking the matter to court so he has access of the children and he can try and educate them away from such maliciousness. Taking the matter to court should be used when all other options have been exhausted. I hope this helps.
Measmum 15/06/2016 at 10:54 pm
Ok, I'm not a dad. But I'm a concerned partner. My partner has a complicated relationship with his soon to be ex-wife. But instead of continuing to be angry with her I'm desperate to work out how to support him. It's the age old story of him being the perfect and much loved father until he left the family home. His soon to be ex wife using his daughters as a tool to seek revenge. I'm sure many of you have heard, "But you left your children". But the truth is he left a relationship, he never stopped or more importantly stopped wanting to be a father. There has been allegations of abuse, which have all been unfounded. His children's grief at their father no longer being in the family home, turned into anger by their mother and cruel and malicious passed to his children from previous relationships resulting in even more relationship breakdowns.
I've probably vented my upset in the wrong place.
But how can we start to make things right?
SeparatedDads Editor 14/06/2016 at 12:40 pm
If you have parental responsibility your ex has to ak for your consent to move. If you refuse then see would need to seek permission through the court. However, if you think she may move without your consent then you can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order. A PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. While there is no guarantee the courts will award this order, it may be easier to apply for this, then to try to get your ex to return to the area through the courts if she decides to leave without your consent.
None 13/06/2016 at 4:40 pm
Can you please advise me on an issue regarding contact with my children. They're 7 & 8 years old and my wife has a restraining order against me for 2 years. I have only indirect contact in place issued by family court. I need a solicitor to take a new child residency order forward. The application will be going in next week, please respond on the e mail provided. Glyn
Bert 13/06/2016 at 4:04 pm
I have been seperated/divorced from my children's mother for two years now.in the last two years my ex has had a bad relationship that ended with police/court involvement and social services involved.social services no longer have concerns and my ex is with another partner of approx 3-4 months if that. I have no concerns with her relationship or private life but she is now telling me she is moving away from Kent to Cornwall with our children.i have a great relationship/bond with my children and see them every other weekend and during the week which will cease if this move goes ahead.how or if I can, how do I prevent this move?
Cj 30/05/2016 at 10:21 pm
I went through court for over six years trying to get contact with my kids arranged meetings had psychology reports done and the judge said to back off for the mental state of my ex!!! Went to every court date from magistrate to crown in Middlesbrough and got no where I have paid over ten grand for my kids upkeep and still my ex has won no contact no nothing ever!! And despite have parental responsibility has changed there surnames without my consent
SeparatedDads Editor 24/05/2016 at 1:00 pm
Yes, please see link: Breach of Contact or Residence Order: What to Do, here. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads Editor 24/05/2016 at 11:54 am
In my opinion this is exactly the wrong time to walk away, as this is the time when the mother will begin to rack points up against her if she continues to ignore the court order. It is contempt of court to flout the terms of the order and the courts will enforce the order and award punishment if his ex continues to ignore the judge, please see link: Breach of Contact or Residence Order: What to Do here. So while it may seem that your partner has had the unfair deal up until now, unless the re have been any adverse circumstances, the courts should now begin to come down on his side and make sure the order is put firmly in place.
#1 mummy 23/05/2016 at 6:52 pm
Hi I'm asking on behalf of my partner is there anything he can do to see his daughter there was a court order in place he was seeing her regularly and her mum stopped it. Is there anything he can do because of the court order was in place and if so is there a time limit on this thanks for reading
Griff358 23/05/2016 at 4:20 pm
Hi , I write this on behalf of my partner. Over the course of 18 months my partner has been battling through courts and solicitors to have access to see his 2 children , he has jumped through every hoop that has been directed at him, from parenting classes, supervised visitations to attending mediation alone might I add , all with the long term goal to have a relationship with his 2 children. All of this has gone in his favour each time he has been to court yet a court order has still needed to be devised because the mother is not prepared to allow him to have a relationship with the children. A final court order was put in place 3 months ago to allow him a day with the children every other weekend yet 3 months down the line he is still yet to see the children due to one excuse or another, in total he hasn't seen the children in 5 months. He has taken steps with the solicitor to go back to court to enforce the order but I really can not see this will change anything as I don't see her truly accepting that she does not have the children's interest at heart and that she is ultimately in the wrong and isn't giving my partner the chance to be a father and a part of their lives, it's more of a point scoring game against my partner that is her priority. How severe is the punishment for not complying with the court order ? I fear my partner is at breaking point and will ultimately feel he has no choice but to walk away and wait until the children come looking for me if they are given the chance .
SeparatedDads Editor 20/05/2016 at 11:18 am
I am sorry to hear this. I can only suggest he seeks legal advice which he can put in place immediately once the child is born (if the mother still will not consent to your brother seeing his child). It is worth paying to see a solicitor for some initial advice and if he cannot afford the hefty legal fees to take the matter to court he can self-litigate, please see link on how to represent yourself in court here. I also suggest he does as much research as he can on what his rights are in this situation, There are plenty Separated Dads articles and we also have a forum and a Facebook page where our dads can give great advice, perhaps having been through similar experiences before.
Missjc74 19/05/2016 at 1:38 pm
Hi my brothers baby is due end of june he is not with the baby's mum. It's my brothers first child a BOY he's bought the pram and other things and she's saying he will never see him can anyone help us please. My brother is a good man never been in trouble he doesnt deserve this
SeparatedDads Editor 22/03/2016 at 2:34 pm
I am sorry to hear this and sympathise with your situation. However, unless the circumstances change over this time, then you are unlikley to be given any more access, as it may be judged as too soon after the original court order.
nevishigh 20/03/2016 at 4:12 pm
My ex and I separated last year Oct 24th 2015. Since our split my ex has always dictated when I have my 3 yr old daughter which I am not agreeable to. My daughter has been in my life since birth, I am on the birth certificate and she has my surname. The mother unfortunately is over protective and very possessive with her. She stopped contact Dec 14th 2015 but I took her to Court March 17th 2016. I represented myself and she had a Solicitor. Naturally I was granted access but not what I wanted. I accepted every other w/e from Friday at 1500 collect my daughter from pre school and take her home Sunday at 1800. I also get to see her every other Friday from 1500 after school and take her home at 1800. Admittedly it's only 3 hours but I do kind of see her every week. Also I was granted 50/50 during School holidays. I personally wish I could get on with mother but that will never happen. If I didn't take her to Court I never would of seen my 3 yr old daughter ever again. My ex's parents control her and don't like me. I believe they all don't want me in my daughters life period if they had there way but I would never allow that to happen. My ex also has a disability mild cere palsy where she does struggle with our daughter. When we were together I did all physical stuff because my ex did find difficult to manage her, now she is getting bigger and stronger my ex struggles even more. My ex's condition is worsening all the time but she does get help from her parents. I personally will take her back to Court in 6 months and want 50/50 shared custody because the offer i was given is still not enough. Judges say because she is sole carer she has more rights than me due to the fact she took my daughter away from and stopped contact for 3 months. I will not accept this contact because I feel my daughter needs me more that what was given. I love her dearly and will continue to fight for her. Tell me what you all think and please give me advice where I stand in this pathetic legal system. Thanx
SeparatedDads Editor 04/03/2016 at 1:01 pm
I am sorry to hear this. As difficult as it is, I can only suggest your son remains patient and keeps his eye on the longer term. At some point his ex will not be able to avoid the courts, and the courts will not look favourably on these tactics of both avoiding mediation and the courts. If the court process is unable to go ahead in April, then your son must set another date. It is important that your son catalogues all these details of avoidance and keeps the emails. The more evidence he can obtain of her actions to avoid access, the better for him in the long run. I wish you luck.
SeparatedDads Editor 11/02/2016 at 10:49 am
Please see link: What Rights do I have if I'm not on the Birth Certificate here which should help answer your question. You would also have the opportunity to apply for Parental Responsibility if you wish to have more of a say in the decision making process of your child, However, please be aware that being awarded PR does not mean you have automatic access/contact to your child.
wolfie 10/02/2016 at 5:07 pm
What are my writes if my name is not on the birth certificate. And how do I go about getting it on there
SeparatedDads Editor 21/01/2016 at 12:01 pm
I am sorry to hear this. Please see link: What Rights do I have if I'm not on the Birth Certificate, here. If you cannot afford legal fees, you can self-litigate, please see link: Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, here. I hope this helps.
Stinkymonkey14 20/01/2016 at 10:33 pm
Me and my partner or ex-partner as it stands had a amazing little boy together in 2014 ,I love my boy more than anything in the world . But unfortunately are relationship started to full apart 12 months from when are son was born .
We are now splitting up and as every parent has to do we started to discussed/argue what is best for the children which there is also a 6year old boy from my her previous relationship ..
This conversation was cut short be my ex with a sarcastic laugh and the words ' you have no rights , I didnt put you on the birth certificate ' .. So I checked this and to my horror I found this to be true. Even tho I was at the birth of my child and been with him every day since ...
I'm very confused and upset why she would do such a thing ,we had got on very well until shortly before we broke up ?
If anyone could advice/help me on how to tackle this problem I would be extremely grateful for any help large or small ? ..
Please bare in mind I'm not a wealthy person and a long drawn out court case is not a realistic option .
SeparatedDads Editor 13/01/2016 at 12:08 pm
I'm not sure how the law works historically about this sort of issue. You don't say whether your ex applied through the courts to take your children from the country, or whether she just took them without permission. If the former applied, then you would have to seek professional legal advice regarding this. If it is the latter, then you would have to research whether parental abduction laws had the same legislation as it does currently and seek advice. I am glad you have now made contact with your children.
foggy 12/01/2016 at 6:46 pm
i have just recently had contact with my children after 17 years ....
i was married to the mother and all three was born in the said marriage..
after the divorce she met another man and absconded with the children...
moving around a lot this man i see it was a controlling person and never wanted myself around....
i tried over the 17 years to find them and as money was tight i tried to do most of the work myself ...
i have found out from my daughters that in 2006 they went to live in Greese
as i was married to the said mother and before the law changed in 2003 that farther have to apply for parental right i already was entitled to parental rights should it not have been the case that i should of been contacted by the courts for the rights for the children to be taken out of the country and if the said farther just took them out under fraudulent circumstances which i feel was the case can he be punishes under uk law ... i ask this because the four years my children was out of the country it messed up there education and exam resullts
Andy 30/12/2015 at 11:19 pm
Are the any groups in Cardiff that I can join please to sit around and discuss issues as a group. Any help would be fantastic. Thankyou.
Dad 16/12/2015 at 10:29 pm
How is it that the csa if of fault of there own fail to perform a case review 6 years ago, can now as reminded by my e. Partner to them who hadn't repeatedly asked them for the review till now, how can they back date the arrears ?
SeparatedDads Editor 07/12/2015 at 11:22 am
If you wish to complain
Stew 04/12/2015 at 7:00 pm
Who is ultimately the person in charge of policy for the CSA.Where are they located so that I may send my thoughts
SeparatedDads Editor 02/12/2015 at 12:30 pm
For the purposes of the CSA, earnings are the funds that are taken into account after the deduction of income tax, national insurance contributions and pension contributions. Pension contributions must be regular, and lump sum payments are unlikely to count. If in doubt, you should seek advice on this. Money that an individual receives that are not classed as ‘earnings’ include: statutory payments made by an employer for reasons of maternity, paternity, redundancy or adoption pay; tax credits; social security pension, benefit or allowance, any payments made under a disability pension or benefit; or a guarantee payment under social security pensions legislation. If you receive any of these kinds of payments and they are your sole income, your employer cannot use this payment to deduct child support from your earnings. Employers can however deduct money from the following types of earnings: private pensions, occupational pensions; wages; overtime pay; bonuses; commission; or any payments that are made on top of a person’s wages. In addition, it is possible to deduct from an individual’s statutory sick pay. If your employer pays you ‘contractual’ maternity, paternity, redundancy or adoption pay, this is classed as ‘earnings’ and can be subjected to deductions for child maintenance. I hope this helps.
Stew 01/12/2015 at 7:06 pm
Thanks for the above response but would they also be taking money from my pension?.
SeparatedDads Editor 01/12/2015 at 2:40 pm
Your child maintenance payments are based on your earnings. You can check how much you would be paying whichI hope this helps.
Stew 30/11/2015 at 7:45 pm
If I went back to work albeit part time how would they work out my contributions.I am not going to work for nothing
Stew 30/11/2015 at 7:43 pm
Interesting to read that my contributions over the last 13 years could have been spent on anything and would bet my last penny on them being used for luxuries and utility bills.My contributions are coming from a company pension and my state pension which I paid in over a period of 48 years only to find it eroded by a spiteful,vindictive,lazy,workshy,benefits orientated parasite.Its all take,take,take,same as the CSA.An arrogant bunch of faceless,jobsworth debt collectors,with no consideration regarding your outgoings.Mortgage,utilities,car,insurancies,clothes and food.Why should cut back and they live the high life.The system is faulted,the CSA only batting for one side and it is not my team.as previously stated I have never had any contact nor do I want any.
SeparatedDads Editor 12/11/2015 at 10:18 am
Many thanks for your comments. Both Cafcass and Family Court have undergone their share of controversy, the first for some of the content of their reports and its methodology, the second for operating in relative secrecy. Cafcass presents its report as a completed document at court, and interested parties have no chance to challenge it beforehand. There have been occasions when the court has made it decision based on a bad report. When that’s happened, the bad report constitutes grounds for appeal. However, not all experiences of Cafcass are negative, many are positive and help numbers of fathers gain access to their child. Please see link: My Positive Experience of Cafcass, here, in order to give a bit of balance to the argument.
Gerry 10/11/2015 at 7:58 pm
I've never been a 'Father', but I am incensed and angry about the justice, if you can call it that, that fathers receive at the hands of the courts and of CAFCASS.
I know of a situation where CAFCAS admit that the homes are equally suitable for children, but the court acted on the word of CASCASS, who sided entirely with the mother, simply because she was the mother. The father's side was not even heard . The court order, consequently, looked as though it had been written by the mother.
I'm aged now, and I don't like to see British Justice behave in this manner, as though it were a third world country.
G.Morley.
sadnana 16/10/2015 at 4:30 am
After 5 yrs my son has recently been in contact with his ex which led to him seeing his son 3 times.We were so excited thinking he would be part of our family once more.howeve she now has stopped contact because my son refuses to rekindle the relationship she is threatening him with police an is constantly changin addresses an fone number my son is devastated but has , with the full backing of his new partner decided to rake a srand but doesnt no where to start can anyone help
SeparatedDads Editor 29/09/2015 at 2:07 pm
I am sorry to hear this. You would have to apply through the courts to put a trace on your children in order that you can apply for access. You can apply on a form C4, which is an application for an order for disclosure of a child's whereabouts. While the court may not divulge the address, it will allow you to get the court process rolling. If you cannot for any reason afford the hefty legal fees, you can self-litigate. Please see link, here. You may also find our Separated Dads Facebook page useful for help and advice.
Aj 28/09/2015 at 1:59 pm
I wonder if someone can help I haven't seen my son for four years and wish to see him dearly I pay every month for him and have done for four years I don't have contact with his mother I don't no where she lives but also realise I can't just walk in and say hey I'm your dad cuz i no it will freak him out I'm all up for supervised visits if I have to but I just need some info on where to start and about contact please help thanks
daz29 08/08/2015 at 5:41 pm
Do you know of any support groups near Islington or London?
SeparatedDads Editor 07/07/2015 at 1:59 pm
@pamy - as your wife has parental responsibility, she can do this, unless you have been awarded a residency order, in which case you can ask the police to help return your children. If you cannot trace the wheabouts of your children, you would need to fill in the form C4, which is an application for an order for disclosure of a child's whereabouts. If the children live with you, you can do this at the same time as asking the courts to have your children returned to you
pamy 04/07/2015 at 11:56 pm
hi there my wife took the kids while i was at work and turned her phone off ? have not seen or heard from her in three days ? can she do that ? what can i do? cant contact her at all.
Jimmychoo 17/06/2015 at 6:47 pm
I wonder if you can help, or have known other fathers in the same situation.
Myself and my ex have been split for over 2.5 years. Then out of the blue I get a letter from HMRC saying I owe £3671 in overpayd tax credits. When I was in the relationship with my ex, it all went into her bank account. I didn't know what payments were going in and when.
Mentioned theis to ex and she says that she is paying it off, an agreement with HMRC.
Tried contacting them today to explain the situation and they say that I'm liable as it was a "joint account" and there's no record of any plan on the system.
Thinking of making an appointment with local citizens advice to see where I stand.
Any help or direction in the right way to fight this would be much appreciated.
SeparatedDads Editor 17/06/2015 at 10:56 am
@Mark - yes, you can apply through the courts to see your child, see: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, whichYou can also self-litigate if you feel the legal bills might be too hefty, see our article:How to Represent Yourself, whichI hope this helps.
Mark 14/06/2015 at 11:56 am
I just wanted to know if there is anything I can do, what it is, is my ex partner was already pregnant when she met me. And I stayed with her when the baby was born, weve since broken up and she says that I cannot see the baby anymore so I feel as if shes basically used the baby as a weapon, and I just wonder if there is anything that I can do in regards to having access to the baby, I pay maintenance and always have since the day we split but now she Is saying that I cant see the baby. Any advice on this would be most helpful
SeparatedDads Editor 13/03/2015 at 12:11 pm
@JimmyJimmyCocoPop - I am sorry to hear this, but there are several things you can do. Firstly, you can apply for a prohibited steps order, see our partner site Law & Parents link here which you need to do asap, you don't need a solicitor for this. Should you not have legal funds, you can also self-litigate, see link Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, whicha lot of fathers are now doing this with good success, especially if you are prepared to do your own groundwork and prepare your case (there is plenty of advice on how to do this online). You also are lucky to have the Scottish Child Law Centre, link here which can give free advice. I hope this helps and good luck.
JimmyJimmyCocoPop 11/03/2015 at 7:00 pm
Hi, my issue is that, after having spent the last 5.5 years being a separate parent to my little girl (I was never in a relationship with the child's mum), she has now met a boyfriend and is moving my daughter 400-odd miles away from Scotland to South England.
I have about 5 months until this happens, a lawyer has told me to fight for full custody and that a sheriff will be sympathetic to me as i've been the perfect separate parent since she was born and she is moving my daughter without even consulting me (i am on the birth certificate so i should have equal right and responsibilities in terms of big decisions in my daughter's life!) purely to further the career of her boyfriend.
anyway my point is that the lawyer says that legal aid would take far too long to appear and if i wait, the mum could have moved her away by that time, in which case fighting my corner would be far more difficult as it would mean changing jurisdiction (Scots to English law) and also the mother could use the comeback "well we are all settled now" etc etc
My lawyer wants £1500-2000 to start the ball rolling ASAP on this, it is a lot of money and i dont have any so would have to try and borrow from somewhere - just checking though before i begin this process, does this all sound accurate to those in the know? and is there anything else you can think of that i should check out before going down this road?
SeparatedDads Editor 05/03/2015 at 10:05 am
@Chilli pepper - I'm sorry to hear this, yes, his ex has breached the court order. He may be able to get help with court fees if he is on benefits or a low income. He can also self-litigate, please see our partner article Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, whichA lot of fathers are having good success through this method. He also may find our Separated Dads Facebook page useful as our followers are very helpful with advice, having been through similar issues previously. I hope this helps.
Chilli pepper 05/03/2015 at 8:23 am
The problem we have is that my son went to court over his son and the rights to see him ,a court order was drawn up where the mother has 6 days my son 4 working round her shift pattern holidays split all this was April 14 and was working well until whilst my son was in hospital having major surgery she left sheffield and moved to her home town of Durham without warning and no agreement and no contact details just a 4 lined note saying she was leaving ,she has broken the legally binding agreement we have rung round lot of advise lines all saying we have a good case we have had to submit a c79 form to court for breach of agreement at a cost of £200 which seems so unfair my son will be off work for 3months at least and can Ill afford this expense ,just wondered any advise or what out come from court might be if anyone has had same problem ,he cannot afford any legal representation .
SeparatedDads Editor 19/02/2015 at 11:54 am
@caring man - I am sorry to hear about this, but there are things you can do in order to get access. Firstly, you can apply through the courts for a contact order, see When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, whichIf you are struggling to afford the costs of a solicitor (as many fathers are) then you can self-litigate, see Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself whichOur Separated Dads Facebook page can also give you plenty of advice from fathers who have been through the same. I hope this helps.
caring man 17/02/2015 at 7:53 pm
I have been trying for over a year to have proper acces with my son. I pay the CSA every month and never get to see my son my family are so hurt but we try and have tried to respect Karen's wishes. I dont earn enough to go to court but I dont know what to do Karen has threatened me with the police if I turn up to see him with my dad she lives in rockferry and I live in wales she is using him as a weapon and blaming me for everything like she is stressed she doesnt even know what that is I am so depressed and dont believe fathers have any rights or help and we end up getting the blame. Women who I have spoken to and are friends of mine state that she is totally unreasonable and give proper mums a bad name most women give their partner a chance to build a bond I am not getting that but I still have to pay CSA were is the justice in that.
SeparatedDads Editor 19/01/2015 at 12:21 pm
@Baldylocks - the fact that you are currently caring for your children, have an established home and the children are happy will stand you in good stead should she decide she wanted to begin court proceedings. It may comfort you to know that when a court decides who the children should live with they will decide what is in the best interest for the children and they are reluctant to move children from a happy home, or move schools etc. I hope this helps.
Baldylocks 16/01/2015 at 6:59 pm
In September 2014 my wife of 17 years walked out on me and our three children for a 20 year old ... We lost our house and lived in a hotel room for 8 weeks until we could rent our own home ( local authorities were aware) .. My self and our children aged 15,12'and 9 are now living happily in our new home and my soon to be ex wife ( divorce going through) .. With NO influence by myself the kids do not want to see there mother who has seen the children les than 10 times since last September .... Can she take my babies away from me ?? She has gone quite which means she is upto no good ( trust me ) ... She lives in a studio flat with this kid ( she is older than his mother) ... Previously I have taken the kids to her so that she can see them but no more !!!! What can I do to safe guard my children ... She has mental health issues as well as I believe a weed addiction ect ... Iam worried to death me and the kids have been through so much and now we have our own home I don't know what I would do if she managed to force them to live with her and this kid ... They both do not work and are on job seekers ... I was her Carer for the past three years and have looked after her and the children so I know what aim doing as a parent ...... I CAN NOT LOOSE MY KIDS ......
Harvey 10/01/2015 at 8:31 pm
Im looking for some advice about how to get help with seeing my children.
Jim Editor 05/12/2014 at 11:23 am
@doms dad - it sounds like a real messy situation and one where reading between the lines a lot has gone on, especially if you say your contact order will thrown out of the court. It makes it hard to advise especially because social services have been involved too. it seems like you are at the mercy of the system and your ex and with Legal Aid being withdrawn for family law cases it makes it harder for you to get help. If she does take it to court at least you will get your say, the only place where you can get free advice currently is the Citizens Advice Bureau, you might want to try there.
doms dad 04/12/2014 at 4:02 pm
so i have my son5 days out of 7!!!
his mother and i split in august very messy she moved out of family home i kept that. theres was a domestic violence incident in 2010 before dom was born i slapped her back for hitting me i obviously got in trouble have never hit anyone in my life before. since we have split iv had numerous texts of her saying she do's not want our child i have alway forced this back onto her to have him fridays and saturdays, theres been a few incidents were dom has been hurt in her care so iv had to get social services involved, the health visitor seems to be against me she is now going to women refuge who are telling her I'm controlling and she should take my son full time. long story short i went solicitors to ask about contact order was told they could not of for one yet as there is no reason to apply and it would be chucked out of court!!! his mum text me last night saying social services are investigating weather i forced her to give up dominic (i have texts to prove otherwise) and weather i took him. she also said she wants to take me to court for more access... dominica benefitting from how things are at the moment and i believe changing this will affect him in a bad way she works 3 nights a week 12 hour shifts so sleeps 4 days week so i don't feel its suitable for it to change please can you advise were i go next
Tanya Editor 26/11/2014 at 11:26 am
@MHall - this is very hard for your ex. But Cafcass do put the interests of the children first and it's rare that contact orders aren't given, even if it's supervised contact. The courts might see through her lies, they are quite clued up. I think it's been found that it's something like 75% of people lie in court in family law.
MHall 24/11/2014 at 9:54 pm
My partner and his ex planned for a baby, but as soon as she became pregnant her personality and she became violent and abusive towards him. She spit at him, head butted him and used her position in the police to make up lies about him and ensure he couldn't go near his daughter once she was born. She is now 10 months old and he has not seen her once. His ex has told CAFCASS that he is a drug addict, alcoholic and abusive when he is none of these things. He has been to hearings where the questions have been very bias towards his ex, and it looks like he'll never get the chance to see his daughter. The CAFCASS staff even suggest that because he happens to be a tall bloke that that is intimidating and obviously he must be a violent person. Aren't they supposed to mediate? He is broken.
G 18/11/2014 at 11:38 pm
Hi can some one help me to see my children please. I have not seen my kids since last three years n my ex is not very co operative. Lately we have no communication at all. She is not responding to my calls n txt msg. I am very concerned for my children well being i do not kbow where they are and how are they.
Please help.
MIkeJ Editor 31/10/2014 at 10:29 am
@digsy - Isn't it the law that by the age of 16 years, young people are able to make decisions about their own care? Can he not bring the dogs with him when he visits? It might be one way around your boyfriend being able to see him more. Going to mediation or court seems to be a bit excessive given his age. I would try and work around it, by talking directly to the son and asking him what his preferences are and what he thinks the best way forward is.
digsy 30/10/2014 at 3:10 pm
My boyfriend is suppose to have his boys Tuesday and Wednesday and every other weekend but his ex wife is making there son who is 17 stay at home to mind the dogs, she intimidates him saying she will get rid of them but it is all to do with her trying to claim money as he does not have him as often as the 11 year old. He needed advice if he could make a application for he has them one week and she has them a week. This way he has time with both children. Thank you Maria
SeparatedDads Editor 31/10/2014 at 10:53 am
@justin - without knowing the full background it is difficult to advise. However, perhaps it is worth you speaking to someone like Fathers for Justice, or Family Lives offers a confidential and free helpline service on 0808 800 2222 which aims to give information, advice, guidance and support on any aspect of parenting and family life. I hope this helps.
justin 20/10/2014 at 11:29 am
i went througth a bad marrage andhad 7 children with her we split up 7 years ago an since then 3 of my children have been placed in care i have contact with them weekly i now have a great girl friend and we had a child 3 months ago we were put straight into a family placment unit .i have now left there because the social servives have said to my girlfriend that she has more chance of keeping our babe if she splits with me is this aginst our human rights plz help
tman 02/08/2014 at 3:12 pm
I have a similar problem I've been taking care of my child for four yrs even when we were separeted but since she had a second baby by sum 1 she's been trying so hard to keep me out of my child . I try talking but she always playing games an giving me storys an my son live with her granny now she want to take him with her its been 8month now since I saw my child we tlk on a phone sumtym .but sumtym dey just drop it its been hard ,, need advice
SeparatedDads Editor 28/07/2014 at 11:43 am
@Angela, are the grandparents the legal guardians? Is your friend on the birth certificate for his child and how old is the child?
Angela Mills 27/07/2014 at 9:24 am
I HAVE A FRIEND WHO HAS A DAUGHTER HE HAS BEEN TO JAIL A COUPLE TIMES NOTHING REFERING TO HIS DAUGHTER BUT WHEN HE IS OUT HE DOES MAKE A ATTEMPT TO SEE HIS DAUGHTER WHICH WHOM LIVES WIT HER GRANDPARENTS HER MOTHER'S PARENTS NOT TO SURE WAT THEY HAVE BEEN TELLING HER BUT WATEVER IT IS IS MAKING HER NOT WANT TO DEAL WIT HIM AT ALL WHICH IS CAUSING HIM ALOT OF PAIN ESPECIALLY SINCE HE HAS A CHILD ON THE WAY WAT CAN HE DO TO BE ABLE TO SPEND TIME WITH HIS DAUGHTER WITHOUT HER GRANDPARENTS RIGHT THERE
walter 03/07/2014 at 4:12 am
my ex wife is using the court to gain the full assest of our 20 years of mariagr we had two boys
oldest is 20 years old and a 11 years old. after being separated for four years she is still in an avengance mode the latest act she filed a custudy visitation order and the court apointed ad litem
guardian I wonder what the intetions are?
Harry 14/08/2013 at 11:31 pm
To cuz... I agree, women collude and the services will side with the mother. Usually the cafcass officers are not only women, but also young mothers. They let their personal feelings to cloud their judgements. I have seen this first hand. Uprooted my kids from where they grew up in a lovely house and a lovely school and from their entire family and friends with whom they grew up. Into a council house, on benefits, into a really really bad school and with a mother that Caffcass themselves have admitted the kids and the system are being manipulated by the mother. But what do the do for me? Nothing!!! Waste of spaces. They just try to justify their need of existence and requirement of funds from government.
EddietheEagle 24/05/2013 at 5:47 pm
Bluebird, you say the child has the right to see you, but does he? I really don't think this is an issue of a child's rights that goes beyond the rights of anyone else, including his father. If a child does have the right to see his parent, he also has the right to not see his parent. Where would that get us? What happens when a child undergoes alienation from a loving parent and refuses contact?

Family law regulates the way in which separated parents raise and enjoy their children when agreement cannot be reached directly. I'm not really sure where rights as such fit into that.
Bluebird 25/11/2012 at 11:36 pm
Gav, you dont have any rights only responisbilities, your chold has the rights, to see you. What oart of the country are you in? Court does not have ti be expensive, you can do it yeself with a bit of tuition, or use a mackenzie friend. if there was a way of messaging people on here I'd happily give you some tips or try and help in anyway I could.
Gav 13/11/2012 at 9:21 pm
A question not a comment, my ex partner has stopped me seeeing my son, I'm on low income so court is the last resort for me, what rights do I have as a dad to see my son ?
mmallan7 13/07/2011 at 3:04 pm
I totally agree that most fathers will feel left out and alone, I did at the start of my problems. I found various groups through "facebook" to begin with and I had a very low opinion of "Fathers 4 Justice" and leaned towards the other less militant groups. However over the course of my case I have sought advice from all over and have now found that "Fathers 4 Justice" founder Matt O'Connor stopped all of the stunt campaigning back in 2008 and since then their efforts went into talks with polititians and media to try and raise the profile and get the issue spoken about. I myself have used many of the groups for support and feel that everyone will find useful info on all of them but I do feel that F4J has been given an unjustly bad wright up above and deserve more praise than has been given as they have brought the issue into the limelight over the years and are still campaigning hard to this day.

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