If you are separated or divorced, there may come a time when your ex-partner wishes to change your child’s surname. It is relatively common, however, for one of the parents, usually the father, to disagree with a name change.
If you're facing this situation and want to understand your legal position, you can use our free Name Change Rights Checker.
Reasons for Changing Your Child’s Surname
It is usually the case that your child will carry your family name, particularly if you were married. After your divorce, your ex may wish to revert back to her maiden name and she may want to change your child’s surname to match her maiden name. Alternatively, Your Ex May Meet And Marry Someone Else, adopting her new husband’s surname. Again, she may wish to change your child’s surname to match her new family name.
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Try our Name Change Rights Checker free, here on this site →Understanding the Procedure
The procedure for changing your child’s surname can be carried out using a family law solicitor. But the mother must get permission from you before she can do this.
Some divorces are relatively amicable and you may not be too concerned with a change to your child’s surname. However, many fathers wish for their family name to be carried on. In these circumstances, it is your legal right to refuse a name change.
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
Changing Your Child’s Name Without Permission
If you refuse a name change, the mother has no right to carry it out. If she was to change the name without your consent, you can appeal to the Court. The Court will take into consideration whether the name change is necessary and whether it would be detrimental to the child to change their surname, or in some cases to not change their surname. For example, if one child in a family unit had a different surname to the rest of the family, this may be considered as detrimental to the child.
If you want to change your child’s surname, you must also seek permission from the other parent. In the case of divorced couples who have lived together for some time, a Court is unlikely to allow a name change where one parent disagrees with such change.
Unmarried Couples
If you are unmarried and have separated from a partner, but have lived as a family for some time, a Court is likely to treat you in the same way as a married couple. If you disagree with a change in name, a Court would be likely to agree that it is in the best interests of your child to keep their current name.
This differs, however, if you have not been a family unit for very long, particularly where you are not registered on your child’s birth certificate (see our article on What Rights Do I Have If I'm Not On The Birth Certificate). In many cases, a Court will allow the mother to change the child’s surname, where it would be negative for the child to have a different surname. Again, this could be the case where a mother has remarried and had another child, all carrying the surname of her new husband.
A Court may rule that it would be in the best interest for your child to also carry the same surname, so that he or she feels part of the family unit. In these circumstances, the father is in a very weak position indeed.
If your ex-partner wishes to change your child’s surname, you should talk to them, tell them how you feel, and discuss why they feel that changing the surname is the best idea. Make it clear that you do not want the name change. If this does not work, seek advice from a solicitor specialising in family law.
For more information on your rights, read our article on Separation Rights For Fathers on this site.
What can do
Hi Mia, I am also going through something similar. I have hired a solicitor and if you are in a financial position to do so then I recommend getting one too, just for advice at the very least. My solicitor wrote to my daughter's biological father to seek an amicable agreement which he refused, the next stage would be mediation which would probably be done via video call, if an agreement can not be made with a mediator then a Special Issue Order will need to be issued with the courts which you and the biological father would have to attend once a date is set. This also means the children would need to be interviewed by a CAFCAS officer alone, to hear their wishes and feelings on the matter.
If you feel in your heart of hearts that you're doing the right thing by the children and respecting their wishes then I recommend proceeding until it doesn't feel right anymore. If the name change is refused then at least you know you did everything you could and if your children still feel the same when they are older then they can apply for the name change themselves (or wait until the children reach the age of 12 and then the courts take into account their feelings and wishes much more seriously)
I hope this helped.
Katy
I have 3 children - one daughter and two sons.
My daughter does not know her biological father, but believes my ex partner (my second sons father) is her daddy, so I am the only person who has parental responsibility of her.
I have had a son with my new partner and we are getting married next year. Newest son has his fathers surname, however my other two children have always had my surname so I am attempting to change their surname from my maiden name to what my married name will be.
Has anyone every experienced anything like this? I’m trying to change their names because it’s what they want and it means we will be a family unit and so that they will continue to share my surname, albeit my new one, once I get married?
My ex partner is making life very difficult and for the first time in the 8 and 5 years since the children were born suddenly has a problem with them having a different surname from him - he has also stated he doesn’t want the name change to go ahead because he doesn’t want them having another mans surname - when the surname didn’t matter at all whenever it was my surname! Both children are dying to have their name changed and it’s breaking my heart that someone who is supposed to be an adult is breaking their hearts and trying to bribe them into day saying they want his surname and telling them they are bad when they disagree ??????? He doesn’t contribute to their upbringing at all - not financially or in anyway - they stay with him 1 night a week and that’s as far as his contributions go. I try and update him about the important or fun things going on in their lives and he is completely disinterested.
I have son three months old. I never lived with his father but he was happy to baby has his last name. After he got his last name he changed a lot and he didn’t see a child now two weeks. I probably made mistake thinking it will be good to baby has a father and his last name, but... :(.
What I can do and how to I change baby’s last name to be as mine?
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