Divorce and Perjury

Author: Lorna Elliott

A person who is proven to have lied in evidence given court is guilty of perjury. The offence can only be made out if an individual has lied under oath. This can be particularly prevalent in the divorce courts. Emotions are running high, and litigants’ views on the ‘facts’ of the marriage and ensuing divorce can vary enormously. But if a person swears, on oath, that they will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth’ and then goes on to lie, they have committed perjury.

If you need to respond to false claims made under oath in divorce proceedings, you may find it helpful to use our Court Statement Writer.

In divorce cases, however, it can be very difficult to prove. This is because very often the truth is only known between the two divorcing individuals, and that it is essentially one person’s word against the other.

Proving Perjury

There are, however, other cases in which it is possible to prove that an individual has lied under oath. In such situations the penalties are harsh. The problem in divorce cases is that the various authorities involved in the proceedings – the judge, the lawyers, and anyone else – may not care at all that your ex spouse has perjured themselves in the context of your divorce.

Often the financial amounts that are disclosed during the divorce proceedings are less than the reality. It is very common for divorcing couples to try to conceal assets and lower their income for the purpose of trying to ensure that the subsequent payout is much less than it otherwise should have been.

In extreme cases, your former spouse’s lawyer can also provide evidence on affidavit that these lies are true. Again, whether or not there is something that can be done to punish your ex or their lawyer depends on the seriousness of the act and whether or not it can be proved.

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An Example of Perjury

In some extreme cases, however, it can mean that an individual is prosecuted and sent to prison for perjury. There have been numerous high profile cases of perjury in non-divorce cases. One lesser known example is that of a man who forged his wife’s signature on divorce documents (which alone would constitute Perverting The Course Of Justice), and then went to court to swear his evidence.

On oath, the man told the court that his wife had signed the petition but had decided not to have anything else to do with the divorce proceedings. On the strength of the evidence the man gave the court, the judge decided to annul the marriage and issued a decree absolute. Unfortunately, his former wife, who knew nothing of the divorce proceedings, contacted her own solicitor just weeks after the marriage was annulled. Very quickly she learned that she was already divorced and that her former husband had forged her signature and lied on oath to the divorce court in order to get the marriage annulled.

The police quickly intervened. A handwriting expert confirmed that the signature on the divorce documents was far more likely to have been written by the man. He pleaded guilty to perjury and was given a six month prison service, which was suspended for two years.

For more information on divorce proceedings, read our article on Divorce And Contempt of Court on this site.

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47 questions

Ask Separated Dads a Question

Moozle 14/05/2020 at 10:56 pm

Hi I'm curious, as to know if I can have some claim of purgy if my ex husband put he wasn't co habitating and didn't plan to re marry when he wad actually in a relationship and the said girlfriend was pregnant at the time he filed for divorce? Her financial details, were not in his form E. He has a job in law and order and has clearly lied in offical court forms

DJ 12/04/2020 at 1:02 am

My wife has filed for divorce on the "5 Years separated" rule. We have lived apart but have still been doing things as a couple (I have stayed over, had family holidays, days out, intimacy... etc)
I'm thinking that this is perjury but if someone is that desperate for a marriage to end, then I'm kinda getting the message.
I've just signed the form saying I'm not contesting. I'm wondering if the court run checks (I don't know if they look on social media or do any other checks) and it comes out could I get into trouble for not disclosing the truth?

TIA

Eve 08/01/2020 at 6:54 pm

My husband told the court I had been physically served the divorce papers I can prove he was not in the same country as me on that date

He also told the judge o was served by email
I was not
I’m assuming he have a false email to his attorney

The divorce is now finished but I have not yet received my settlement
As he is agreeing I can have custody of the children if I give up my settlement

Can I prosecute him with regards to the perjury

Thank you

Eve 08/01/2020 at 6:46 pm

My husband told the court he had physically served divorce papers with a very elaborate shorty to the judge. He was actually out of the country and I was not physically served. He then added that I was served by email. I’m assuming he provided a false email address to his attorney which his attorney emailed the and served the papers to. I never received any email serving me
I was unable to attend court in Texas as I had a car accident and was living in the uk
I was unable to travel the divorce went ahead
There is much more csn I prosecute just on the above?

Al 24/10/2019 at 10:13 am

This is a question regarding my ex lying in court about a property she owns in Caribbean country, where she and her family used to live. The property has no legal title as yet as the land is still in probate. It was a key factor in a settlement. She is appealing the settlement but I want to pursue her perjury. The evidence I gave was not sufficient for the judge. However if I can get a subpoena to get the local authority in her country to confirm that as far as they are concerned that property is registered with them as hers and they send bills to her, my case is so much stronger. Is that possible?

shaziain 23/07/2019 at 12:49 am

My partner will be divorced in 4 days but is now really ill in a hospice and end of life care. I’ve been blocked and wife is telling him I’ve stolen some of his things. His mental capacity is situational like dementia. I have his divorce papers and proof he has for 2 years been with me. I’ve been to police, safeguarding, used control abuse but it’s like because he is dying no one cares about his volatile relationship with to be x in 4 days and my love for him and pain this is causing. His brother has taken over next of kin while in nhs hospital. He does not have a relationship as well with his brother. Safeguarding have ignored

Cam 01/12/2018 at 9:25 pm

Here’s my story in a nutshell. My ex wife caught me talking to an ex on Facebook messenger (the girl contacted me) bashed and kicked me out of home. After 4 months I got my own place but still managed to do family time with her and the kids but she would always pick a fight when I left and say things like “enjoy your night without your children”.
In retaliation I started to talk to girls online but unfortunately she got access to my computer and called off the marriage saying that this will be a nasty divorce.

Straight away she started dating a guy who I suspect she knew previously which devestated me as I basically was all talk no action as I really wanted to keep my marriage. I approached the guy and sad if you are not serious please leave us alone as I am trying to save a family.

Two weeks later I got a text from him saying “you can have your wife back and stop feeling sorry for yourself.” I thanked him and we started going out on family outings again and I even slept in the same bed as my wife (though no touching)

The following month we entered a fun fair with the boys and took one each and agreed to swap them over regularly. When she didn’t turn up to one I went looking for her and my youngest son. I found her sitting with her family and that guy was alongside her. I then made the biggest mistake of my life. On realising it was him in front of 20000 I punched him three times in the face before I realised what I had done then exited the arena.

No charges were laid but the guy has milked it for everything and it has been used to destroy my life. I tried to apologise for striking him but he would not look me in the eye instead sending snide texts about me when I was standing with my wife outside the courtroom while she said she would see him between 1 week and a year wtf

The next two months went in a blur till I was contacted by my ex who told me she had seperated with the guy and would never see him if I signed the divorce papers. I did not want to sign them but agreed to give everyone closure. Guess what ten days after the divorce she announced she was back with him. This pattern has continued for 8 years even though the guy is now borderline obese and has to wear hats 24/7 as he is paronoid about his bald head.tgey have never lived together.

Worse though is he got her to try and get me banned from my own kids sport as he is not man enough to be near me even though I haven’t spoken to him for 8 years by getting her to put a DVO on me. Lucky as I had never committed physical violence on her the conditions were minor and it was only put in place due to my texts telling her what a disgusting person she was for backtracking on the divorce pledge. He put an affidavit in but was too pathetic not to come to court to be cross examined on his lies so it was excluded,

The order ends in two months . Who knows when the nightmare will end

SeparatedDads Editor 12/06/2018 at 2:51 pm

Your ex cannot leave his son out of any financial agreement and will be responsible for paying child maintenance as the non-resident parent.

Xns 11/06/2018 at 11:19 pm

Please help! Me and my ex husband married in Hong Kong 2010 and have a child together. He left us in May 2013 and travelled back to Hong Kong. Whilst he was in the U.K. he treated my son badly who was 2 at the time. He know wants to leave him out of the Divorce Petition so that he does not pay anything for him but continuously tries to get my son to see his parents. Can he file for a divorce without any mention of my child (he is the father). Can someone please advise? Thank you

RichB Editor 10/04/2018 at 10:42 am

@BB - I'd let this one go. You're not going to get very far with this - it's water under the bridge. What do you expect will happen if you do pursue it? She's not going to get sent to prison. A rap on the knuckles would be about the furthest extent a court would go and then you'll have to pay a fortune in solicitor's fees to get it to court. Don't try to get back at your ex. The most important thing is your kids, so the main thing is to always act in whatever interests are beneficial to them. Personally I can never understand people who will do anything to get even. Letting stuff/anger go is so much less stressful. If you want to get access to your kids, make that your sole objective - not getting even with your ex. Sorry if that sounds a bit harsh - but from this perspective if your mission is to get even with your ex you're playing a losing game.

BB 09/04/2018 at 3:37 pm

My ex lied to the police 5 years ago and got me arrested for alleged domestic violence. Giving a detailed account of untruths however i was never charged and no furthee action. A year later she put another story to the police which got me arrested again and said that it was the first time o had hit her and she couldn't believe it. Once again i was released no charge no further action. She and her boyfriend has pulled countless stunts to ge the children away from me and this weekend i have had enough. How do i get copies of her statement then take her to court for lying to the police. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

angie 04/04/2018 at 6:58 pm

can someone help me please,have been divorce for 19 years but i kept in contact with my ex husband after ten years,I had an eye op in Feb this year and i ask him to come in and help me out for a few weeks,now he does not want to leave the property but he is not leaving. He also have a key the property which he did not give up when he left 19 years ago ,now he is using it to come into the property...what can i do.

Carmen 23/02/2018 at 7:56 pm

Hi, I'll been divorced for 2years I just find out on my divorced paper that the number of years my ex husband filed was fraud . I never read it since at that time I'm very depressed of my life since the company ill been working closed down and the new mgt terminated me which at this time I'm still jobless The divorced letter was in my drawer which my ex husband put . We got married in July of 2003 to December of 2015 but my ex spouse but 5 yrs 2003 to 2007. Do you think it's fraud can I filed perjury.since he take advantage of my situation.

Mr Jinx 16/02/2018 at 2:55 pm

Odd one, whilst I’m extactic to be away from the ex we’re still married and have a little one. I was in the process of submitting a divorce application based on her adultery once our house sale went through and I had some cash. She’s now contacted and said she’s not happy with the terms and wants to apply for a divorce on the grounds of two years separation. Although I should point out at this stage that we’re still three days short of our first year separated. I suspect that if I argue she’ll become evil about access to my little one and any money we make from the sale of ten house will be swallowed by the solicitors. Im not keen on purjerying myself either, any views?

MrsCArter2013 09/11/2017 at 12:36 am

I've been married to a service man we got married in the Philippines when he move to the states he stop sending spousal support, start living in with his gf and kept the marriage pretending that everything is ok while trying to establish his single life. After a year he file for divorce but lied to the court that he doesnt know my mailing address so what he did is he done it thru newspaper publication while telling me that he had sent the divorce papers. Only to file out that the court has already granted default judgement. Never got the chance to reply to the divorce papers since nothing was mailed. Now I do not know what to do as I dont want to end up paying all his loan he made while he was with his mistress. And the court wont email me either the documents and he is also MIA.

OZ 05/09/2017 at 4:49 pm

Jesse345, eldest 18, youngest 16, they were totally supportive at the start, even wanted to leave their own mother, but she's been emotionally blackmailing them and poisoning everything I do, she even has them thinking I'm turning them against each other. There's no such thing as the perfect husband or father, but i tried damn hard to do that, now after 25 yrs, I've lost my home, my family and my best friend, who is doing nothing short of burying me. I'm broken

Jesse345 Editor 05/09/2017 at 12:57 pm

@OZ - I feel your pain. How old are your daughters? Surely, they understand that you're a good dad. Hang in there and continue to be the good dad. The most important thing is your daughters and nothing will ruin their love for you if you've done right by them

OZ 05/09/2017 at 10:30 am

Thanks Matt, but it doesn't make it any easier. She's moved him into the family home, has turned my girls against me, has been prescribed medication whilst married for an STI, all provided to the court and they agree with her. She's now trying to clean me out, after I have spent 23 yrs working hard for the family and adoring the ground she walked on. She continues to spread lies even to her own parents and our daughters. I accept the marriage is over, but its because of her, but why turn my girls against me and why break me, its not as if we are rolling in money. Her new fella is well to do, his own daughter won't talk to him, but he's making a huge effort to impress my girls. I've been alienated and lost everything, its a nightmare I can't wake up from

Matt Editor 04/09/2017 at 2:58 pm

@OZ - it doesn't really matter in the long run, people give any old reason. Blaming another person is an outdated and outmoded concept and really should be changed. It's about time this system was rewritten.

OZ 02/09/2017 at 3:35 am

My STBEW has lied on her statement of case, I have provided the court with a 4 page letter showing that it was not my behaviour that caused the marriage to fail, but that she was having an affair. The court has found in her favour, I'm disgusted and furious, am I entitled to see what she entered as evidence on sworn affidavit ????

nat 06/04/2017 at 9:59 pm

I've got divorced and signed the consent form but I've found out my ex husband has been hideing his assets and other money from his buuseness will i be able to contest the consent order

fuzzy 28/03/2017 at 9:47 pm

can someone help me please if i sign the statutory declaration i will be agreeing with mothers allegation of the registrar letting her do this the records office clearly stated to the mother On letter dated 8/February/2017 (As previously confirmed by this office examination of the register entry indicates that two people attended the register office to give information for the registration. This is confirmed by the fact that the qualification shows the word 'Mother and Father'.)
I have received the Statutory Declaration form dated 23rd March 2017.
Due to the serious nature of the error and the need for two people to sign, I am willing to sign the correction when the document clearly states the facts. I feel that if I sign the declaration as it stands to date that I may be committing a criminal act.

Fact I am willing to sign the truthful part of the case is as follows

1. the man named as the child's father was not present at the time of registration and did not sign the register page.
2. That at the time of the registration no details relating to the child's father should have been recorded.

I feel that the information is incorrect and still an error

1. That the information for the birth was given by the mother of the child alone.

On letter dated 8/February/2017 clearly stated that
As previously confirmed by this office examination of the register entry indicates that two people attended the register office to give information for the registration. This is confirmed by the fact that the qualification shows the word 'Mother and Father'.

In defence of the mother if she is correct as her letter on the 16/08/16 states. And you have added this to the Statutory Declaration Document.
Quote “There wasn't anyone with me purporting to be there father I signed the register myself. I wasn't aware that there would be a problem with this as the registrar apparently allowed it”
Yet on the Statutory Declaration there is no reference to the Registrar acting unlawfully. If this is the case an error took place and would of caused the serious nature of the error and this should be worded accordingly.

Even though I believe that the Registrar is innocent of the accusation made by the mother
This needs to be established before I can sign the correction. When the document will clearly state the facts and clear any inaccuracy on the Statutory Declaration Document. At the moment its left unclear and this is the reasons why

That the information for the birth was given by the mother of the child with a unidentified Male.
That the information for the birth was given by the mother of the child alone. That the registrar acting unlawfully and allowed the entry.

Kind Regards

JBM77 Editor 05/01/2017 at 10:26 am

@deft - stand back and keep away from the issues. If there is no evidence to prove you have committed domestic violence then no charges will be brought against you. But, if you start to fight fire with fire it could actually backfire. There is nothing wrong with your ex 'speaking to another male' and you can't have your ex sacked from a job because she is going through her own personal problems. Keeping away from her and having no communication is your best course of action. Jilly.

derf 04/01/2017 at 6:55 am

I am currently going through a nasty Divorce my spouse told her attorney that there was constant on going domestic violence in the home the truth is I have never touched this woman in 16 years well in short i have been suspended from my job with the state cause of her. my question is here she Is a RN and is very honestly acting out of the ordinary considering I caught her speaking to another male. 8 days later I was served divorce papers. I suffer from PTSD from the Army and she knows this this woman is causing me some serious mental trouble the VA has upped my Meds for the fear of my actions from Combat. My issue is how can one I prove she has incriminated her self. and how do i get her removed from her job personally is a nurse has the balls to act like this personally should not be working on a person no matter who it is reasons how can you trust them to do the right thing is they can lye about this what else can they lye about. I am also looking to sue her for defamation of character and lost wages? is this possible hell honestly if i could send her to jail I probably would just so she could feel the freaking pain and devastation she has caused me. Lord know's if this was Afghanistan or Iraq I would not be worried about crap. Looking for answers...... How do you beat someone that is out to destroy you for no real reason or good reasons.

Nil 22/11/2016 at 4:00 pm

I have served Marriage dissolution I am respondent my spouse is a conditional residence she just entered in usa not long ago she had battered me in 4 days marriage fraud now she wants money green card benefit and has false statements in marriage dissolution file accusing me as a useless she had played with me big time I had trusted her being part of my life put all Faith on her she didn't spare me I went to india on August 15 2016 to August 29th 2016 just after she gets visa on August 4th 2016 she was going to come to USA with me on August 29th 2016 she never came stayed with me in back in Home village india left me behind on August 23nd 2016 came over hear in USA Chicago and soon I arrived hear she left me in 4 days it's almost 3 months no communication or relationship I was so depressed and emotional I had spent lots money for wedding all my family came to india on wedding I had lost my reputation back in my home and still she asking for money gold and benefits to stay in the USA she wants to obtain green card and gain citizenship worst human being I ever met in my life I had loved her so much everything is destroyed I want her to be deported back where she belongs withdrawal all my pitition file papers what should than do give her perjury for liying

Vinnie 16/10/2016 at 10:32 am

I am divorced from my ex wife who committed a marriage fraud and made false allegations against me. She came from India and had been in the U.K. for 8 months. We had not consummated the marriage and when I approached and instructed a solicitor and explained this, they proceeded with a divorce petition despite being told that we had not consummated the marriage and had valid grounds for annulment. I have since been granted a divorce and am stuck in a financial settlement dispute, my new family lawyer stating that I should have had the marriage annulled, The solicitors who drafted and served the petition note in the petition that the marriage was not consummated as one of my grounds; surely this is a contradiction in terms. Indeed it proves that they were aware of my position and still proceeded with the divorce as my only option to leave the short marriage. I would like to know how I can sue the solicitors who did not persue an annulment when they were made aware and acknowledged in writing that the marriage had not been consummated. I believe the solicitor who acted for me was a novice and the managing partner was not supportive, an altercation happened in their office reference another matter (my nephew taking on a lease) where a solicitor verbally attacked me for turning up unannounced because I had complained about him to the managing partner; who betrayed my confidence. The firm agreed a fixed-fee divorce comparable to the offer from a firm where I had first consulted, but because they were not immigration lawyers they suggested I go to such a solicitor, and the firm I used tried to charge some £800 over the £500 dispursments and £500 fixed fee previously agreed which I had paid, stating my case was overly complicated and they were dismissed as a consequence when my decree absolute was finally granted in January 2016 (I applied for this myself). Can you help?

red_ant 17/09/2016 at 11:55 pm

Well my ex husband was told by the judge that he had to give me $8,000 and he had to send me something in the mail so I could sign it. I as married to this man for 37 YRS. I have tried to get spousal support But he says he has no money which is a lie. He told me he can't give me anything due to social security is taking $500 a month from him, he want show any paper work at all. He has lied to the judge about how he can't walk have While I have a picture of him walking also he is fishing. He plays the victim he also sign a paper saying it wax me which I never sign But judge still took it. Help

Vinnie 14/05/2016 at 1:55 pm

Hi, I was arrested and falsely charged with s.39 common assault when my wife accused me of beating her with a shoe in a frenzied attack in May 2015 (injuries she had self inflicted using an iron) she having been in the country for just 8 months, with no subsiding relationship between us because I was depressed and I just didn't find her appealing (she was causing me a lot of stress and it was an arranged marriage and the chemistry just wasn't there - indeed I was having treatment for impotency and depression) without a single concern for me, she invoked the DV process by making false and malicious allegations so that she could get ILR in the UK.

She has been supported by the establishment despite being a foreign national who has committed marriage fraud, she was refused entry into the UK twice before marrying me and had a previous marriage of convenience - something that came to light after the fact. As a British man, born and bred, I have been crushed by the due process. In a phone call made to me she confessed that she had caused her own injuries because she was upset and had no other alternative other than to die. This call was recorded and forensically proven to have taken place, and translated. It was used in court at my subsequent trial and I was found not guilty with the Magistrates concluding that her evidence (given via video link) was inconsistent.

The waste of public funds, the pain and suffering I endured over the six months the CPS took to bring the case to trial and both the Police and CPS failing to use the confession evidence because SHE had insisted that it was not her voice on the recording. She also proceeded to make RAPe allegations when her attempts at reconciliation broke down, because I had bail conditions not to contact her and I refused to allow her to return home. These new allegation led to my arrest and humilation, I consented to my medical records being provided and these confirmed that I had been depressed and my marriage had failed and that we were not intimate and I had been sent for testes examinations and offered treatments for impotency etc.

At the Magistrates Court, the recording was played and when the Magistrate asked her who's voices they were - she answered "mine and my husbands" - sadly I had to sit through 6 hours of evidence (3 hours of her evidence via a translator - when she can speak perfect English) before the matter was concluded and my acquittal. All the evidence was provided to the CPS and they blatantly continued to support my then wife, who in those three hours committed perjury by insisting that I had beaten her, something her own 'confession' clearly contradicted. Indeed, there is text messages and whatsapp messages that veto everything she said on the stand, and I would like to know what action I can take in regards to the Police's failure to be fair and impartial, the CPS continuing with the trial when they accepted that one of us was lying, and they believed that to be me b

SeparatedDads Editor 25/04/2016 at 1:55 pm

Yes, I would seek some legal advice regarding this, especially if your ex over-stated his debts and under-stated his assets.

Ben 24/04/2016 at 10:54 pm

My ex husband told me he was in financial difficulty and needed a quick divorce.he told me we would sign papers saying whats mine us mine vice versa to protect me from his debt. In the papers hecsaid he owned nothing and was not planning to marry or buy a house. Wecwere divorced at 11am some days later. Ive subsequently discovered that he completed the purchase of a 6.4m pound house at noon the same day we were divorced. Have i any recourse to his lies?

PamG 15/04/2016 at 4:05 pm

Advice please. Ex husband has ignored kids for over a year. Has lied on court application saying I am stopping him but he hasn't even tried. We are at court in 5 days time and I have email and text proof of everything plus his family as witnesses as they feel out 5 years ago when he stole a large sum of money from them ( He was not arrested or anything) now he wants joint custody to avoid maintanance as he has just landed a job earning 45k a year. I know he will lie at the fdhra next week. I want my girls to see their dad but he doesn't want to be just wants to control me As he did for our10 years of marriage. He never interacted with the girls when we were together. I would like him to change but I dont think he will as he is too selfish. What will the judge do as he will be lying and I will be telling the truth. Will I be able to show evidence?

TT 13/03/2016 at 7:36 am

Hi, my husband was granted a divorce and he lied about why he divorced me! Mind you that he claim to not know my wears outs and of course I didn't want him to! I want to know that , even though he was granted the divorce under false pretenses, can I counter file under the truth and still be granted a divorce

ending2016 26/02/2016 at 9:29 pm

Can my husband get an absolute divorce if he has lied about us being permanently separated n resuming our maritial relationship...we have lived in 2 different places for a yr due to us being homeless n we was getting a house this month but I just got the divorce papers...how does tht work...we just had a baby together n we have been doing everything as a family like normal...I'm just confused on how he can get a 30 day divorce all of a sudden...help please!

Sheerbliss 07/11/2015 at 3:19 pm

My(ex)husband filed a Publication of Notice to get a divorce. However he knew my whereabouts and carried on for years as though we were married. He we as far as to were he wedding ring for years. I recently found out because I start to seek a divorce from him. Because he was granted the divorce by Notice of Publication he was granted all marital property. I have been mentally and emotionally distraught not only for me but for my daughter who look to this man as her father. What can I do? He committed perjury and I mountains of evidences to prove he lied. Help!!!

Eckie 02/11/2015 at 4:04 am

Lorna,
Thanks for making this blog available.
My ex and I nearly, but not quite, agreed on a divorce settlement. Then she got lawyers involved and it all went pear-shaped. She refused any negotiation and forced the case to court.
Nearing retirement, I was unable to afford a lawyer and was therefore unrepresented in court. The court gave me no information whatsoever about applicable law or how to conduct the case. It made mistakes like registering a solicitor as representing me, without my authority (causing confusion as post went astray), but brushed off my complaints. The ‘final’ hearing took place even though I had not seen my ex’s evidence or the valuation of the house. I was told nothing about the procedures and applicable laws. The court helpline repeatedly told me to “get legal advice” without specifying how I should pay for it!
My (now ex) wife lied about my financial contribution, my part in the restoration of our historical house over several years and the foundation of a company at her behest. This was compounded by the judge’s inability to grasp the concept of negative equity in some buy-to-let properties we had inadvisably bought. Verdict: my ex got the house, our most valuable asset, with no compensation to me at all. I got a small property with a mortgage higher than its value. What’s more I was ordered to pay her legal costs and was ordered against my will to enter into a partnership with her to manage our remaining buy-to-let properties for 5 years! Incredible. I was absolutely livid with rage.
In total she got more than 100% of the marital assets. I tried to appeal but leave was refused because I had “left her with a great burden” (I didn’t), “was difficult” (I told the truth and did everything the court asked), and had not been there to correct the judge’s mathematics (I am not a mind-reader). In short I have been severely punished for the “crime” of not knowing the law and being unable to afford legal support. Incomprehensible.
I was forced to cash in my pension early to pay my living expenses and belated legal support. She falsely sued me for non-compliance. I justly sued her for stealing money held under an undertaking to the court. I won, but was nevertheless ordered to pay her costs again, which were more than the sum she stole. Unbelievable.
So far, we have had 10 court hearings. I have run up massive legal costs, well in excess of the sums at stake and my pension is dwindling fast. We still have the “partnership” even though we do not talk to each other except through lawyers. Further legal action is likely.
I would not know what to advise someone else. If you cannot afford tens of thousands in legal fees you are simply stuffed under our legal system. The system is in serious need of major reform.

SeparatedDads Editor 02/03/2015 at 12:37 pm

@Granddad - I am sorry to hear of this, it is something that happens all too often. You don't say how old your grandson is, but does your son have Parental Responsibility to him? If so, I suggest he hires a people tracing service in order to trace his ex, and once the address is found take the whole thing through the courts in order to regain contact, see When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, whichIf he has PR, his ex has no right to 'disappear' without letting him know his son's whereabouts. I hope this helps and I wish you good luck.

Granddad 26/02/2015 at 10:30 pm

I am the grandfather of my son's son. My son's relationship with his child's mother collapsed some time ago. For a while he had limited contact with his son but due to unemployment, geography and the embittered antagonism of his ex-partner contact become less and less. He hasn't seen his son for a couple of years. His inability to communicate and support his son has put my son in a dark place.... Now things are back, he is working, he has a great home, he is secure and stable and is in a new loving relationship. His son's mother is now married .... but she has moved away... and my son cannot trace her or his son. He wants to be part of his son's life .... he wants to be involved in and be informed of his son's education etc etc. He has set up a fund to support his son as money that was sent to his mother was used for her clothes and her entertainment.... we as grandparents sent Christmas and birthday presents .... these were returned to us via the postal service as she had left no forwarding address. What can he and we do? What are his and our rights? Please advise us.

Lynne Editor 04/02/2015 at 12:25 pm

@johan - you really need to see your solicitor and talk through where she has lied. You need to prove that she has moved all the money into her account and try and see if you can prove with correspondence all the other things she has lied about.

johan 02/02/2015 at 9:22 pm

hi ,
I have just exchanged form e with my wifes soliciter, I have no soliciter as she has taken all the money from our marriage and moved it into her own accounts.
but on reading through her form e she has lied on several parts, I have gone through this and written were the untruths are but do not know were to go from here do I confront it through her soliiter or do I submit it to the courts and at what point my decree nisi is hearing is on 17th feb

Rose 30/12/2014 at 2:53 pm

Hi, I have a very manipulative ex who has lied in court about providing CSA when infact he doesnt. CSA have told me he shouldnt pay because he is on stste benefits and I also have a letter stating he should pay because he is on benefits. I dont receive a penny. I have spoken to CSA and they are under the impression he is a student when infact he has a full time job and even stated this in the court. He also lied about an assault allegation against me but in court said I didnt assault him even though his application to the court stated I did. He has taken me to court 4x over contact when he is the one who failed to attend, shown up late and has sent other people in his place to collect our daughter without informing the school. The courts and Cafcass have not listened to my concerns about our daughters welfare and the distress my ex causes us with his unreasonable behaviour. It saddens me that he is able to abuse the system in this way especially where there are sites and services that are there to help fathers who really need it. It is clear he has a problem with me but is using the system to bully me as he did in our relationship. I was fined and tol to pay his court fees for allegedgy stopping contact when infact i had contacted my ex several times to rearrange contact due to his violent behaviour towards me in front of our kid. No one is listening and now my dughter has anxiety, moody angry behaviour towards me which I belive is from his influence and also that when she goes over there he just dumps her at his mothers who she is not that close to and there are no other children around for company. What can I do? I believe mediation is what we need to discuss our kids needs but he has refused it 4x and the courts seem to support no communication( taking away my phone rights even after knowing she was emotionally distressed from being left there) when infact you need to communicate to co-parent effectively. He is not supportive of our daughters acheivements or extra curricular activities and has gone as far as pulling her out of them because he wants his contact when she is supposed to attend. It is extremely difficlt to raise her with some stability and responsibility with his behaviour, an example we are vegetarian but in his 'care' will feed her cheeseburgers. She is scared to speak up to him because of his reactions. Any advice anyone can offer? No solictors will speak to me because of the legal aid cuts and I cant afford to take hm to court and to be honest I dont want to because they have not been supportive at all only adding to the problem. For the record, I have contacted Cafcass, gingerbread, coram, cab and various legal firms who have not given any sensical advice apart from to contact someone else.

Joan 03/08/2014 at 9:41 pm

hello brother the materials have just arrive to Nigeria now at 09:15 but the only thing that remains is the staff that you will whole on your hand on the day of your initiation. there are two type of staff that you are goin to purchase 1 is ten thousand and the other one is twelve thousand. the pends the one one you will like to purchase okay

Geordiangel 02/06/2014 at 12:53 pm

I have an ex who has fraudulent ways have gained him over half my family home. Which he paid nothing on the endowment or morgage. Or anything else.. Worked on fiddle to not pay csa. It goes on. Then I am sure now he stole a family asset which washin my care. To make it look like I theives it by frauding my name on a document. And after police dealt with it. Told the court I had stole it and had me interrogated in court.. All lies.. People that know me are shocked that the courts have allowed all this..along with blatant lies about false information and witnesses.. All which can be proved.. I had been trying to represent myself. I have been ill for a while and was shocked at all this new stuff.. He obviously married me for my house. Stupidly I put it in joint names when I married him. Yet he paid nothing into it.. I have looked after my children from them being babies on my own. It's a nightmare.. How one person can lie and do this.. He had nothing when I met him.. How blind was I?? Tormented and abused ever since meeting him... Where do I get help?

chelsea 29/05/2014 at 1:28 pm

Lived with and cared for my partner who died from cancer 3years ago...up to then I still paid my wife's rent.she has told court left two years ago ...can that stop divorce
I have three young children and wish to .marry again

smithy 29/05/2014 at 10:23 am

Hi I was just wondering if you could please give me some advice
I was with my x partner for over 19 years and we lived together for this time and had two children together ,our relationship come to an end just over to and a half years ago, in the time I was with her she ran up a considerable amount of debt in my name ,loans here and there which to be quite honest I didn't mind at the time as we were a family and we both said we would pay it back together , now ive been left with over 20k of debt, also 12 month ago she meet a fella and 6 month into there relationship she stopped paying the mortgage on our house that we still own together and has run up over 3000 pound of mortgage arrears , the mortgage company now want a payment or a repossession on the property as she hasn't spoken to them for the last 6 month I have made every effort to try and stop it from getting repossessed by speaking to them at lest 4 times a week there is no equity in the property but I want to move back into it , and get the arrears paid off and back on track with the mortgage she vacated the property with her boyfriend one month ago and took all furniture that we built up over the years together, but before she left she got her boyfriend to change the locks on the house on the advice of a policeman ? Surely he can't give advice in a situation like this she is now trying to sell the house behind my back what can I do to stop her so I can move back in ???? Help please

Saga 22/05/2014 at 12:32 am

My wife has filed for divorce under grounds of unreasonable behaviour. She got me to agree to give her the house however as both of us could not afford to live separately we agreed that I continue to live as a tenant in the house until my son was old enough (two years). However she also has a terrible anger management problem and becomes very aggressive and violent when an attack comes on. She has now threatened to throw me out of the house and I have no where to go so I am really worried. Also I am scared that in her rage she may harm our child or herself. She has not informed the court about this problem. She cited my anxiety and depression as cause for the break up in our marriage, but I have undergone treatment. She has not and the court does not know that she has been psychologically bullying me for years or about the danger to all members of the family during her anger attack. Our decree nisi is now due in 2 weeks. What should I do? Should I inform the court about this problem?

President 14/03/2014 at 9:05 am

unsworn written or verbal statements in a county court are perjury under Evidence (Proceeding in other Jurisdictions) Act 1975 as inserted into Section 1A of the Perjury Act 1911 which requires two witnesses that statements are not true unlike sworn evidence that only requires one witness

Rob 02/10/2013 at 6:33 pm

My ex lied about the registered name of our daughter in a Court hearing prior to our Parental Responsibility hearing. She wasn't aware I had copy of the birth certificate. What can I do with this info ahead of parental responsibility?

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