Hiding Arguments From Your Children
Having split up with your ex, it is only natural that you may find it difficult to get along with her. As you have a child together though, you need to find a way to discuss the issues without arguing. Your children are already facing a difficult time in their lives. It's tough for you as well, but you have to focus on making your child's life as happy as possible. There's no benefit in making them stressed by arguing in front of them.
Why Hide Arguments?Although you have split up from your child’s mother, you need to show a united front. By arguing in front of your child you are making an obvious divide that your child can get lost in. Of course, you will have differences of agreement with your ex, but you need to deal with these privately, away from your child. Your role as a parent is to create a stable and secure environment for your child and you have to work even harder at this When You Are Separated.
The Effects on Your ChildDo you remember your parents arguing when you were a child? It is never something that is easy to deal with and will make your child feel insecure and upset. Your child is already going through an emotional time and is probably blaming themselves for your split. You need to reassure them that you still respect and care for their mother by remaining civil with each other.
How to Argue ConstructivelyArguments are not always a bad thing – it is just a case of picking the right time and way to approach it. You and your ex-partner will not agree on everything and will need to talk about your issues. Try to approach your differences in a mature manner, present your case calmly and listen to what your ex has to say. As long as you argue away from your child and stay respectful it can be good to vent your emotions and be open with each other about your feelings.
Seeking MediationIf you are having trouble communicating with your ex then you may want to Consider Mediation. A mediator acts as an objective third party who can help you discuss any differences in a constructive way. They will listen to what you have to say, make suggestions and allow you both to out your points across. The tools that you learn in mediation will help you move forward and work together to create a stable and secure life for your child.
There is never a good way to argue in front of your child. They are already going through a difficult time and you don’t want to make it worse by arguing with their mother. If you need to discuss something, make sure your child is not around and try to approach it in a calm and constructive way. If you are having difficulties then it is a good idea to seek some mediation to help.Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.