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Separation Rights for Fathers

Author: Chris Nickson
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Separation Rights for Fathers

If you have a child with your partner but aren’t married, you do have rights and responsibilities. Since the new law in 2003, if you were present when the birth was registered and your name is on the birth certificate as the child’s father, your position as a parent is equal to the mothers.

If you're uncertain about your legal position as an unmarried father, you can quickly clarify things using our free Rights Checker.

That law supplemented the 1989 Children Act, which was intended to emphasise parental responsibilities over rights, and believed that arrangements which were best for the children could be made without things having to devolve into court actions. It was idealistic, and the reality has often proved different from the intention.

The Problems

However well-intentioned the law, it can contain some nasty surprises for you. If you weren’t married to your partner and your name isn’t on the child’s birth certificate, although you know you’re the biological father, you could find you have no right to see your children unless your former partner allows it.

If your name isn’t on that birth certificate, you’ll need a Parental Responsibility Agreement. Once signed and properly filed with the court, this will give you full parental rights and responsibilities. Of course, if your former partner won’t sign, then you’re stuck, and be forced to take the case to a hearing in court. If the mother continues to assert you’re not the father, the legal bills could become very high indeed. You’ll need to apply for a Parental Responsibility Order. The court will consider the welfare of the child, and you’ll find that an Order will be granted only if it’s better than not granting an Order at all.

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Fathers’ Rights

In recent years, there have been protests regarding Fathers’ Rights in the UK (witness some of the antics of Fathers4Justice, for instance). However, according to government statistics, the vast majority of arrangements for contact (90%) are made informally, and in 2003, only 2% of the applications to court for contact orders were refused. In other words, in spite of the horror stories, you should have a good chance of contact, especially if your child was born after 2003, or you have yours and your former partner’s signatures on a Parental Responsibility Agreement.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

Types of Orders

You should be familiar with the types of orders you’ll encounter once you’re separated. A Residence Order determines which parent the children will live with – which in most instances is the mother, although you can apply for a Residence Order (this is possibly even if you don’t have Parental Responsibility). Realistically speaking, though, don’t hold your breath. A Contact Order specifies when and under what circumstances you can see your children. The court has to consider the welfare of the children when granting, or not granting, a contact order.

A Prohibited Steps Order prevents someone (not necessarily just a person with Parental Responsibility) doing certain things with your children, such as removing them from the country.

Specific Issue Orders are drawn up to deal with particular items, where you and your former partner can’t reach agreement. They’re often requested for education and medical issues. You’ll need to use a solicitor to apply for any of these orders.

What next?

There are several ways to arrange contact between you and your children, ranging from an agreement between you and your ex to a Contact Order from the family court. Our article How Visitation Rights Work for Fathers gives information on how the orders work and what to expect from them.

This article, explains about the specific process you'd go through to get a contact order put in place.

The Next Step

Father's Rights Checker

Now that you have read through the advice above, you might want to put it into practice. Our Father's Rights Checker lets you check what legal rights you have as a separated father. Takes 2 minutes. Try it now →

166 questions
Ask Separated Dads a Question
Sam 22/04/2022 at 11:15 pm
I give it you sam you really destroyed me I put up with you belittling me make me feel worthless using my house as a brothel spending all my hard earned money on your stupid animals .and on top off that you( jailed me) .(I will never speak to you ever again you can have your kids ).I couldn't care less if your daughter was raped .go get old senior citizen geriatric gordon you love he's abig bad thug he will defend your daughters honour ha ha if he doesn't break he's hip getting off the couch .you two deserve each other I can see you old geriatrics sitting together drinking coffee and eating scones he only can talk it up in front off (gullible women ).I would like see how he cope in prison you want gods truth he would end up sum one's girlfriend (that's fact )then be put in protective wing .with all the bitchs .because I know he wouldn't make it in main population .then you said I'm hiding from this geriatric ha ha ha you are dumber then bag off rocks women .
Sam 22/04/2022 at 10:48 pm
Sam if you think you are doing the right bye not allowing myself to see your daughter why do you keep posting ????.(you know what I think you are a women that gets off destroying good men) I put up with 8 years off you belittling me playing mind games just using me to keep a roof over your head spending all my money on your horses and dogs why you where in a relationship with two other men using my house as a brothel bye the time I was (28 I was over u 100 percent) I remember I would look at you at the end and I was (repused all i seen was a trashy whore )and came to the realisation im better off on my own because I couldn't stand that lifestyle for one more single second. As you have stated you wish Gordon was on your daughters birth certificate well I got news for you I dont want to see your daughter and more then likely he is the biological father with your (track record) .just stop posting because we have come full circle. And your daughter is a legal adult .
Sam 22/04/2022 at 8:54 pm
(I'm content with my life and how I live thank you very much) .so as I have said million times change your daughters name she legal age to do it her self now .in fact I would like it done I dont want to be associated or tried to any off you like gods truth .I want no communication I dont even want to be told even if she died because I wouldn't even attend the funeral. If people don't like that so be it .
Rossi 22/04/2022 at 8:37 am
Hi, I've just been told at my daughter's school that her mother (ex fiancee) requested to change her surname. That caught me by surprise and of course made me really worried. I wonder if this is possible without my consent and how do I find out if her name didn't change on my daughter's birth certificate already? Thank you. Rossi
None 05/08/2021 at 9:02 pm
Hi
I was just message by my son about changing his name back to his birth name and he ask me if I had give permission to his mum to change it in the first place which I have not what can I do about this ?
Chris 11/02/2020 at 12:15 am
Hi, I’m after some advice. My ex has recently pulled my children out of school to homeschool them . My question is, can she change the surnames of my children to her husbands . I’m very opposed to this as it’s very important to me. There’s not many ‘Donnison’s ‘ left . They are very religious and they just do whatever they want . This name change has really effected me. Thanks very much , yours sincerely Chris Donnison
Martin 29/08/2019 at 10:50 pm
Sorry I'm asking do I have a right to see slips everymomonth for my maintance money can i
Anthony 30/05/2019 at 10:57 am
My ex is getting married and she wants to add he's surname along wirh mine to rhe childs name.i still have the.children once a week,we were not married ,can i stop this.from happening.
DavidP 26/03/2019 at 3:58 am
My son is 7 months old I was seeing him an hour a week (ex was always present my choice) until just over a month ago as I called police out as my ex was harrassing me no charges were made but police said we need to communicate via solicitors now and advised me and my ex to changed our phone numbers. I’m not on the birth certificate as I forgot when the appointment was. Where do I stand legally to see the child if I make an application to court? What happens if my ex ignores solicitors letters and court letters? What happens if she says I’m not the dad but refuses to do a dna test? I’ve got my ex bank details but I’ve not made no payment towards his upkeep in 2 months will this go against me?
StuckInMud 22/11/2018 at 11:28 am
Please delete repeated posts, sorry about that. Didn't realise the refresh key copied my post. Sorry!
StuckInMud 22/11/2018 at 11:09 am
Hello, just looking for a bit of advice on the matter. I have evidence that my partner is currently looking for a new place to live, away from the family home me, her and my 3 year old daughter live in. Her family are also encouraging her to take my daughter with her.
I am the father and currently the main full time carer for my daughter whilst my partner works. She has been told to quit her job and sign on benefits by her family so then she can be the full time carer and i will have less chance of custody. My girls nursery and doctors is just at the top of the street and this is her home, this is where she lives. However there is nothing stopping my partner finding a place, taking my daughter, putting her in a new school closer to her new address, signing onto the benefits so she will be full time carer and ultimately taking my daughter away from me before any of this can be mediated. And once it reaches court she already has everything she needs for custody in place. I will no longer be her full time carer, I will be in work to support this house, this would not be her home, her school and doctors would be somewhere else and basically I feel I wouldnt have a leg to stand on. Is there anything I can do right now to protect myself from this happening? I'd hate for my girls life to be uprooted so suddenly and I'd hate to lose her.
Jo 16/09/2018 at 10:20 am
I wonder if someone might be able to help in a very desperate situation.
Long story short, 15 years ago, my brother had a brief fling with a girl for a couple of months, which ended soon after and he didn’t see her again. The woman went back to her husband and two children. 14 years ago, the woman turned up on my brothers doorstep with an 8 month old baby saying the baby was his. It appeared she had left her husband again and so came looking for my brother. He did what he could, started a relationship for the sake of his son. Four months later, the day before his sons birthday, she disappeared. When he tried to contact her, she called the police and got harassment warning. We approached her mum who advised us to pretend the boy didn’t exist as her daughter was a vile horrible human being and would use the child to rip my brothers world apart. The woman disappeared, but before she did, she sent my brother a scan of twins saying they were His and he would never see them. We have spent 13 years trying to find her. We didn’t know enough about her. She seemed to disappear off the face of the earth. Until now. She has contacted me through Facebook (don’t know how as I have different name now as married and we have no mutual friends other than my brother) saying she has spent years trying to get in touch to no avail...and wants to speak about the three kids. I excitedly tried to email back, but her account is blocked so I can’t. I’ve therefore stalked her account a bit and friend a friend and her older daughter (21) both who have have contacted. No response. I know her and from what I know, she is playing a sick game. What I have found is my nephews Facebook, but he is only fifteen. Does anyone have any ideas about what we can do? All we know (from Facebook) is the city she now lives in. I’m at my wits end. And desperate for us to see our son/nephew/grandson. Any ideas???
Shelley 14/09/2018 at 11:05 pm
I have been separated from my son's dad for 6 years ... we cannot get on at all ... he changes all arrangements made at will and pays no maintenance.... I live in spain and my son was born here.... what do I have to do legally to get back to the UK... if I get the fathers permission does this have to be a legal paper...
Dad328 26/07/2018 at 10:42 pm
Hi, it was brought to my attention last year that my ex wanted to change my sons name to her new married name. I declined and she said she will do it anyway even without my consent i looked up and believed she couldnt do this without my sayso. My son recently told me about him getting a new passport with his step dads name on it. Im not stupid i know when my son moved school recently my ex has given the name of my sons step dad as ive also seen on some books thats what it is but i just ignored it thinking whatever thats not his real name anyway. But how will i know if his passport has changed or if my ex is actualy going through the process of changing my sons name behind my back
SeparatedDads Editor 18/06/2018 at 10:05 am
You would not lose 'parental responsibility' if you agree to allowing your ex to change your child's name.
Micky 17/06/2018 at 10:55 am
Need some info... my girl who lives with her mum wants to change my daughters surname officially, she already as unofficially with schools, doctors etc. If I agree, which I don’t do I lose any rights?
Cwl 24/01/2018 at 11:38 pm
Hey I’m a father well I don’t if you can call it that now .its been a decade.the mother never picks up the phone if she does changes her number if I find out where they are staying she moves .if done it’s over I give up .i will never get to meet my child or have a relationship with her.i quit trying .im moving on with my life and starting over .the last time I tried to see my child her mother laughed at me and made fun of me and then moved house again and changed number.i don’t no why she gets over off on this must be power or a control thing .at least my child was older enough this time to realise I tried with everything I had to be apart of her life .she even went to police after all these years to try and jail me again.this women has so much hate for me it’s not funny.anyway I done now .thanks for reading.
SeparatedDads Editor 17/07/2017 at 11:23 am
If the father has parental responsibility of your child, then you cannot change your child's surname or leave the country without consent from him. If he refuses, you would have to take the matter to court.
nad 15/07/2017 at 3:03 am
Hello,
I am currently filling for a divorce as my husband and I have been separated for 2years and I found out that he was cheating on me and his mistress is expecting a child from him.
Our 2year old son has my surname and as my husband knew I was planning to move to the USA he wants to change our son's surname to his own one. He said it will be difficult to me to travel if my son has his name while when I was pregnant he agreed that I can choose the name.
He was not involved in the pregnancy. I was alone in the UK till today and he lives in France with his mum. I am the only one caring for my son and he comes here rarely and sometimes I go to france so thay my son can see his dad.
Please can you tell me if he can change the name of the child without my consent?
I always wanted to move to the USA , can I still do it without his consent?
I'm filing the divorce on the ground of 2years separation because I know he will be angry if Im using the adultery but I have all the proof. He wants me to stay in the UK or in Europe so that he can visit the child but he does it rarely and most of the time I spend my money to visit him. I want to progress in my career and move where I will be happy without fighting with him.
SeparatedDads Editor 17/05/2017 at 12:31 pm
A change of name by Deed Poll will not affect your parental responsibility of your child, nor the fact you will still be eligible to pay child maintenance.
Lloydy 13/05/2017 at 8:48 am
Will i loose all responsibilities if my daughters name is changed by dee polland do i still pay maintence once her name as changed
SeparatedDads Editor 05/05/2017 at 2:55 pm
As you have shared care and you think your ex may take your child to live away without your consent (which is needed by law), then you would have the option to apply for a Prohibited Steps Order. A PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. However, if you think your child would suffer significant disruption, then there is no reason why you cannot apply to have your child live with you. If your ex disagrees with this suggestion and will not consent to mediation to sort the matter out, then you can apply for a child arrangement order, You may also wish to seek legal advice in order to explore your options.
Tali 05/05/2017 at 11:28 am
Hi. My ex and I separated when my son was 6 months old. He's nearly 10. She's just sent me a solicitors letter saying she is taking him 100 miles away to start a new life with her new partner, I have shared custody of my son all his life, I've only ever introduced him to 1 woman, who I am now married too. We have a stable relationship, own our own house. His mother has had more boyfriends than I can count, all have been introduced into my son's life, he's seen all the breakdowns of her relationships, I am regular at the school for pick ups, drop offs, parents evenings. School plays, I pay maintenance to his mum, always have, I buy his clothes, I do all of his out of school activities with him, she does none,. My son also wants to live with me. Any one have any advice for me???
Che 12/07/2016 at 1:52 pm
Hi..i have 2 kids 8&9 yo,with my ex-liven partner.my kids under the surename of my exliven partner.since he cant gived all the needs of my child i dicide to leaved him.till i meet my husband now a stepfather of my kids he take all the responsibility to us morethan 7yrs.my husband and i want to change the surename of my kids by given his surename.how could i change it with out the concern of my exliven partner?
Menda75 08/07/2016 at 6:04 pm
Hi my 13 year oold daughter wants to change her name to my married name, is the possible ? She has her biological fathers name but doesn't see him or get on with him any more. She was born 2012 .
concerned mom 08/04/2016 at 6:07 pm
Hi I know this site is aimed at fathers but I was just looking for some advice really please. Bit of background is that I split from my kids dad around eight years ago. He was very abusive both physical and verbal and the police were called numerous amounts of times and actually ran into my flat once and caught him in the act of smashing my house up. when he saw them he made a run for the balcony as if to jump off and I was very very high up. Took me three years years to finally get rid of him.

I have always allowed contact although at times during his drink and drug benders I have refused contact for a few weeks. anyway at xmas the children aged 14,12 and 11 came home and broke down crying and told me and my new partner he had forced them to get in a car whilst extremely drunk and having no license to bring them home. he has been taking them on the railway tracks where he tried to commit suicide a few years ago and pretending to get his laces stuck so the children have to run on and free him. He has been stealing from shops whilst they are with him and using them as a detour. and keeping them in the pub all night amongst a lot lot more emotional things.

The children told m and my partner they hate him and never want to see him again and due to the danger he is putting them in they have not been since. this has prompted him to harass me and turn up to our home. I involved police and the schools and now I have a ex parte non mol and prohibited steps order.

My concern is that the courts may force me to send the children to see im one he's too much of a danger and two they are refusing to ever see him again. I do not even want him being allowed supervised contact I want no contact ever again. will it be likely that he gets supervised or unsupervised. what happens at the hearing we have in two weeks. im so scared he is going to hurt them
laura52k 15/03/2016 at 8:37 pm
My brother has been summoned to a court in Ireland over a surname change of his daughter. His daughter was born and registered in England after 2003 and my brothers name is on her birth cert. I'm wondering if his parental rights will still stand in a court in Ireland as they would in England. He is in regular contact with his daughter and doesn't want her surname to be changed she's only 3. Any advice at all would be great. Thank you
SeparatedDads Editor 25/02/2016 at 12:34 pm
It depends whether your ex has prevented access via the school. Another route would be to apply for an interim court order, please see link: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, here. I hope this helps.
Tivvy 24/02/2016 at 9:21 am
Hi, I have 2 sons with my wife, a month ago she left whilst I was at work over a phone dispute. Had no contact sins as don't know where they are living, inlaws are refusing info and her phones are switched off. My birthday today an want to see the boys. Mediation in process as letter Gona be sent to inlaws. But am thinking of going seeing them in school, don't know what she's told school but can they stop me seeing them for 5min, cuz am missing um too much not to be able to see um on me birthday would be bad. Any advice
Ali555 04/02/2016 at 11:38 am
I please guilty for domestic violence turning wife face towards me to talk, it came into assault so I plea guilty. Also she alleged me to beat children time to time. Now we are separated we have three daughters my wife does not allow me to see the kids. I want know what courses should I do to get access to kid ASAP (ei anger management, risk assessment domestic violence etc)
BigAl 30/01/2016 at 3:14 pm
Can my ex partner marry and change my sons surname or add a 2nd surname without my permission? I am on the birth certificate and have 50-50 access to my son.
lizzie 07/01/2016 at 5:46 pm
Hi.

My partner seperated from his wife nearly 2 years ago. She had a seperation deed drawn up which stated she would receive all proceeds when the house sold but she would continue to make all mortgage payments. We have just found out she has defaulted on 6 mortgage payments in the past 12 nths although the house has now sold.
This has really affected his credit rating which is preventing us buying a house. He wishes he had never signed it but felt he had to at the time.
Is there anything he can do?
SeparatedDads Editor 05/01/2016 at 11:55 am
I am sorry to hear this. Please see link: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, here. If your ex is preventing access, then you would have to go through this procedure and apply through the courts.
SeparatedDads Editor 05/01/2016 at 11:16 am
Your son can apply through the courts for access and at the same time fill in the C4 form which is an application for an order for disclosure of a child's whereabouts. This will allow the courts to put a trace on his daughter to allow him to apply for contact. I am sorry to hear this - but if your son has parental responsibility then he also has a right to be a part of his daughter's future, and hopefully he will be able to fight for that.
garr 04/01/2016 at 8:38 pm
Hi my wife left one monday night when I returned home from work. She has never stopped me seeing the kids but in the last week she has stopped answering her phone and I haven't been able to see kids please advise
SeparatedDads Editor 08/12/2015 at 9:58 am
Please see Family Lives article here for more advice on this topic. I hope this helps.
Laura 06/12/2015 at 10:08 am
Hello.. I have 3 kids! My eldest is from previous relationship she's 4! Her biological dad hasn't seen her since she was 6 months old!! My other 2 kids are with my current partner who is now my husband.. I want to look into him adopting her as he's been there since she was 6 months old but was wondering am I going to have a fight on my hands with her biological father refusing to let this Happen? Or will the courts over rule him?
SeparatedDads Editor 19/11/2015 at 2:18 pm
You will really need to seek some legal advice and try to get the ball rolling. You don't say whether you have parental responsibility. If you do, then you have every right to see your son. Please see link: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, here. This is the process you should go through. Also, our Separated Dads Facebook page may help, as most of the fathers on their can give great advice having gone through, or are going through the same issues as yourself.
Jess 06/11/2015 at 6:23 pm
My boyfriend is on the birth certificate of his chairs and she has his last name. His ex has recently remarried and changed their daughters last name to that of her new husband (well she hyphenated it) Can she do that without my boyfriends permission?
SeparatedDads Editor 26/08/2015 at 9:36 am
I am sorry to hear this. As you well know, it is a situation many fathers find themselves in and one that is never an easy path to navigate. If you have a good relationship with your partner, she may consent to joint residency, please see our article; Shared Custody of Your Children, link here which is perhaps something you can work towards. All I can advise is that you keep your situation in perspective and if you split up, rather than be antagonistic to one another, try to work together and support each other for the sake of your children. This way you have a much better chance of staying in your children's lives. Please see article, Developing an Amicable Relationship With Your Ex, whichI hope this helps.
Juanito 25/08/2015 at 1:45 am
Ok I had 2 kids one is 3 yr old the other one 5 months I love them with all my ?? the women who I leave with and that we spend more than 5 years together now things are getting out of Hand now we want to separate but she wants to take my kids from me what can I do
Proudest Dad 15/07/2015 at 6:17 pm
I have been with my partner for 9 years now. The first 6 years was up and down, but we stood at it, we got pregnant and found out on the 1st of January 2012 (one of the happiest days in my life). We found out we was having a little boy, so we talked about names and what we could call him and even nick names, and the possibilities of what kids could call him in school Etc.... We agreed from the start that he would have my sir name as am fully committed as a father an we was happy as a couple. The moment we found out we was having a child. I felt closer to my partner. While my partner was pregnat, we moved into a new house. I decorated it while she was at work, all my sons room was done just how we pictured and created together and planned. We bought all his furniture etc.....once our son was born, My partner turned around and said "I am not giving him your surname now" . I was in shock total shock. I hadn't done a thing wrong. It was totally out the blue. We had planned that he would take my surname and that we would get married when we could afford it. All that went out the window. I was so confused. So much so that, her sisters bought new born balloons with my sons name on and my surname also on it. I didn't know why and still don't to this date. What could I have done, I asked her so many times why why why, she never gave me a straight answer, I couldn't leave her as we have just had a child, I just went along with the motions, but always had this bitterness towards her for doing that to me. I kept asking why, then one day she said I won't give him your surname in case you try and take him away from me, I was in shock even more so, she then went on to say she was depressed after losing a family member. Then after that she said, your surname doesn't belong to you, so why would I give our son that name. I tried to explain (she knew this from the 1st date we went on) My father wasn't around for me from birth so my mother never gave me his surname, my mother gave me the surname of her ex husband who she had my brother and sister too. Yet 3 years down the line. I still hold this against her. I have such bitterness towards her. I still ask why and she still says the same thing. If you change your surname to your fathers surname then he can have it. Am 33 years of age, my father was never there for me frowning up, he has 3 others kids and one lives in USA, I wouldn't dream of changing my name to his surname, never ever, and I can't believe she is asking me to do so.

At the moment we are in the middle of a break up, as I can't fully commit to a women who promised me and planned a life together. Yet I don't want to leave my son and be a dad who leaves his child as I don't want to be like my dad, and I won't. I have no intention of making a new start of family. NEVER EVER WOUKD I DO THAT TO MY SON. I know what it's like to have bothers and sisters all around the place. It's not fare on him to do so.

Am on the birth certificate as I
SeparatedDads Editor 10/07/2015 at 12:12 pm
@Shell - I have included a link to the article: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, here. Your friend should go through the procedures laid out in the text. I hope this helps.
Shell 08/07/2015 at 10:59 am
I need advice my friend has a 6yr old daughter with a women. They have split up and she is stopping him from seeing her. He has been paying maintenance cash evety month. He is on the birth cert. What can he do to see his daughter
SeparatedDads Editor 19/06/2015 at 11:58 am
@sazza - In this case, because it concerns international law you would have to take legal advice on this matter in order to find out your options.
sazza 17/06/2015 at 10:05 am
Can any one help me i have an 11 yr old daughter with a spanish man who lives in spain he isnt on her birth certificate doesnt pay for her or have contact and i have just received a letter from a spanish court saying i have to appear on th 6th july what are my options
brianp 20/05/2015 at 8:01 am
Hi My son (18 now ) has been verbally and physically threatened by his step dad. My son has come to stay with me with me for a while. Yes I am very much controlling my temper and feel like I need to do something like report to the police or social . I have always been a part time , his mother married with 2 other . I have convinced my son not to go back and how unacceptable it is to be I still feel I need to do something Thoughts would be ... . T,.
Ben24 19/05/2015 at 4:17 pm
I've just received a call from Child Services that someone (probably a member of my ex-partners family) has made an anonymous complaint that I am basically telling my children to hate their mother and to refuse to stay with her at her home. My children have essentially voted with feet and prefer to stay with me at the existing home as they "hate" their mothers new house. I suspect that my ex may have requested that a family member makes this complaint about me and whilst I am sure the children will confirm my version of events to the authorities I am concerned that my children will be forced to stay in a house where they are not comfortable - any help much appreciated.
SeparatedDads Editor 06/05/2015 at 11:43 am
@Mike - yes, she can take it to court and let the court decide whether she can move away and she can also she can apply for a court order that would in effect allow for the property to be sold, and the court would provide a time scale within which it should be sold. If on the other hand you do not wish her to move away, you can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order, which is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. There is no guarantee that the court will rule in your favour - you would have to make a case for why this was not in the best interests of your children to be moved out of the area. In turn, your ex would have to make a case why it was. Also, you will have to bear in mind that should the Prohibited Steps Order work in your favour, the court could also rule that your ex can stay in the house indefinitely with your children and you may have to continue to pay for the mortgage, until they were age 16 or 18. It is always best, if you can, to talk and decide between you amicably, as otherwise there could be loses on both parts. You could also try mediation in order to prevent this escalating towards court. See Mediation: What is it and is it For Me? whichI hope this helps.
Mike 05/05/2015 at 10:38 pm
Hi can anyone help, me and my partner have not lived together for over 3 years and although we have children and spend time together as a family the relationship has reached the end. Now she wants to move to different part of the country with my children but we have a joined mortgage on the house she lives in with my children, she needs me to sign the house off so she can sell it and buy another one with me still attached to the mortgage. She claims that she is doing it for the children a fresh start! the problem is although I agreed to start with because she said it would be a year before any move, she has now moved it up a gear and talking about moving in the next few months. Taking our children away from me, she's told me that I can have the children on the week ends so after working away all week she wants me to travel an hour and a half away from where I live to pick them up take them back to mine Friday, Saturday night then return them on Sunday evening. I have changed my mind on this arrangement which she is kicking holy hell because I have thought about it. As long as I dont sign the house over is there anything she can do to cause a problem?
Thanks
Mags 24/03/2015 at 11:29 pm
My son never lived with his daughters mother and was not named on birth cert. when his daughter was a few months old due to certain circumstances social services removed her from mothers care and by time she was 2 yrs old my son was granted a residency order for his daughter. That was almost 5 years ago now. Can he have his name put onto his daughters birth cert and how does he go about it. Also can he get a passport for her holidays.
SeparatedDads Editor 24/02/2015 at 12:43 pm
@Qas - you need to follow the advice on one of our partner pages When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, link hereand apply for a contact order. I hope this helps and you manage to regain contact with your child.
Qas 22/02/2015 at 1:39 am
Me and my wife now separate she won't meet me my child I talk with solestr and he say big mone cast for cort cas and I have no so plz help me and give advic how I meet my child I have job but 3weks befor I give sicknot for work coz pain my lage I realy love my child so plz help
just plainme 25/10/2014 at 3:45 pm
Sorry some of that is a jumble the entered spaces didn't work , by the way i no the site is for fathers and i am not i am a mum wanting a father to see his kids
just plainme 25/10/2014 at 3:41 pm
I wonder if any one can help in any way ? I am at my whits end and just dont no what else to do.
I split with my partner of 5 year in may 2014
we have 2 young children age 3 and 4 I arranged a third party so he could see the children when arranged this being wed and Fridays he collects the children at 8 30 am and takes 1 to school then takes the other at midday , he collects at 3 o'clock and brings back at 6 pm , he is very abusive and manipulative

Every night he phones and starts an argument with me , every week end is spent ignoring multiple phone calls or listing to all amounts of abuse.where i say it might be best to go via a contact center
He then gos weeks with out turning up for the kids , then says hes talking me to court as i stop him seeing the kids
i have a police order P I N to stop him from contacting me but every time he phones me he claims he will report me to social services with bogus claims if i contact the police and he has nothing to loose by getting arrested
he has already had social services at my door by claiming i stabbed him ,i did nothing of the sort and the police took him away from my door with no marks on him.
i did try my solicitor but they wont even talk to me unless i pay 90 quid
i do not work as i am a full time mum but surly there is some thing i can do.
Mel Editor 23/10/2014 at 12:21 pm
@kassy - Don't despair. You should not have to stand for that sort of behaviour and should be able to get a restraining order. No one should have to put up with somone barging into your house.
kassy56 20/10/2014 at 6:32 pm
the father (my ex) to my 7 week old, is threatening to take me to court. he resented me for not having an abortion, only contacted once every 5 weeks through pregnancy, but after she was born I had him over everyday regardless, he has been more and more unbearable to deal with, acts like he owns me, my house and my child! (in the beginning he would come in the early afternoon and stay till midnight when I needed sleep, I couldn't get him to leave, and he wouldn't give her to me when she needed breast feeding as it was 'his' time with her!) I cut him down to 2 days a week an hour or more each. he has joined uni now so is busy 7 days and 3 eves a week so I fit it around him and was not unreasonable. his family have treated me just as crap throughout preg and his sister saw her once and his mother twice since she was born and have never asked about her. now shes 7 weeks I said I don't want people who obv hate me and show no interest in her in my house again and they will have to see her when he has her unsupervised, after ive finished breast feeding. he then said hes taking me to court (he was due to come over in a couple of hours) so I said under the circumstances your not welcome to come tonight, and maybe shouldn't until we have spoken to someone if this is how you want to move forward. hes now saying im using it as an excuse to stop him seeing her but how can I have him sitting in my lounge with me while hes dragging me through court? we're already exes who hate each other, this has made things between us completely impossible! how do I proceed? how does mediation work? I don't want to be sat in a room with him trying to look clever and intimidate me! can we do it separately? im so upset! I do not trust him and have not put him on the birth certificate yet because i am scared for my childs welfare because he and the family he lives with are drug users (and are selling drugs) and im scared I wont be able to prove it and I cant bare the thought of her being in that house without me! what could happen! what she could put in her mouth!! what do I do? how do I prove it? and im also scared that as an American citizen he can claim American citizenship for her and get her a passport and once out of my sight he could take her from me and never come back!! im terrified!! please someone advise me on where to turn? what should I expect him to be granted from mediation?
AJ Editor 23/10/2014 at 12:32 pm
@Freddy - the name on their birth certificate will always be their legal name unless your ex wants to change it from there. If it's your name on the birth certificate and you don't agree with the legal change by deed poll then you can take it to court.
Freddy 19/10/2014 at 4:54 pm
My ex wife has decided to let my 11 and 10 year old daughters drop my name at school. They now use her boyfriends surname. This is a shock as I have a great relationship with my daughters but my ex says "it's their choice" . What rights do I have.
Ali Editor 23/10/2014 at 12:23 pm
@tee - your ex definitely can't ignore a court order.
tee 16/10/2014 at 2:20 pm
I've split from my partner and she now has decided that Ican not see my 15 month old boy. I've had solicitors write to her but she never replies to them. So I now have to go to court so I can get to see my son. I want to know , what happens if she ignores the court order ? Please help !!!
jay Editor 16/10/2014 at 2:05 pm
@noely - I can understand how you want to spend time with your newborn and unfortunately this can be a very difficult time for a new father. If your ex has demanded supervised contact the court will generally agree even if you have done nothing wrong. I think for the time being you will have to go along with her wishes and hope that when it comes to court or when your child is slightly older then she will be more flexible and agreeable. For the moment it is a case of you showing you want to take responsibility and that you can be a good father - hopefully the court will take this into consideration when it comes to the hearing.
noely 16/10/2014 at 12:33 pm
I'm not with mother of my baby 2 wks old mother won't let me see baby or my family without her and baby together I don't want to see her just my son and let my family seeing him in court jan but thats ages away
SeparatedDads Editor 15/10/2014 at 10:21 am
@pinky. In an ideal world both parents would be able to work their issues out for the sake of the child. Unfortunately, as you know things aren't that simple and once emotions get involved then much of the time reasoning goes out of the window. But things are getting better in helping fathers gain access to their children and if it does get too difficult for him then he will have the option to take it to court. If his ex wont let him see his daughter than he can apply for an interim court order for access. But I understand how frustrating and upsetting it can be when having to wait. In the meantime, hopefully the argument will blow over and she will re-evaluate her decision and begin to let him have access again.
pinky 14/10/2014 at 5:18 pm
I have a friend that has a daughter with his ex-fiancée. And they split up up with his desioin.
His ex fiancée still loves him, but now is in a new relationship. The father has weekend access, and now the ex-fiancée has now stopped access because he said some things about his own daughter. He said this because he got annoyed because she didn't leave him alone. This has now ended with the father not being allowed seeing his daughter because he said some things about his daughter that the daughters mother did not like.
What I am trying to say is isn't it up to the child to see their father no matter what age they are, and whatever situation the mother and father's situation is.
mt Editor 14/10/2014 at 2:49 pm
@no I can understand how upset and frustrated feel. But just because your wife says she wants these things, it doesn't mean she is entitled to them as part of a settlement. Often when people separate, there is a lot of hurtful things said and knee-jerk reactions over certain issues. If you can try and keep your head and deal with it rationally, and sensibly then you have a better chance of having an amicable split, then if you raise to her bait. Hopefully it will all calm down, if you take a level approach. Good luck - it might not seem like it at the moment but there is light at the end of the tunnel.
no 14/10/2014 at 11:52 am
Plese help me please I cant see a way out
no 14/10/2014 at 11:38 am
Me and my wife separated 3 weeks ago but are still living together which is hell my nearest family are 360 miles away apart from my two daughters with her who are 8&3.we are seeing solicitors on thursday but she wants the house the car the contents and for me to move out start all over with nothing pay half the mortgage and pay maintenance.also get and iva to pay off 30000 in debt wat can I do im so lonely and desperate
Sarah Bradford 14/10/2014 at 2:06 am
hello. my husband and I have been separated for two months now he has not helped w diapers or anything. at our current residence he did something to the gas stove where we had to call the police dept.n they wrote a report on him just no evidence. got us evicted. also won't give me n our child together or mine or my two other kids that don't belong to him births certificates.. we have not filled separation or custody. just now I'm relying on my mother and she is wanting to move from here in Louisiana to Oklahoma. is this legal for us to move out of Louisiana to Oklahoma. please help. I talked w a lawyer. just didn't answer anything n cannot afford him! just my mom n me can't afford rent and bills together here. please help!! thank you
SeparatedDads Editor 13/10/2014 at 1:39 pm
@helpmeplease. It is often very difficult for the parent who is removed from their children as they understandably want to remain as close to them as possible. It doesn't seem like you are being unreasonable and for you to want your children in bed at a reasonable time. However, you don't mention overnight access - perhaps your ex is feeling excluded here and wants to have as normal as a relationship as possible which includes putting them to bed and waking up with them, as he would in everyday circumstances.

When people first split up it can be fraught with teething problems until both parties, and of course the children, adjust to their new lifestyles. Decisions and comments can be knee-jerk when both parties might not be thinking straight as they are infused with hurt. I suggest you try logically explaining your reasons, but also give him leeway where requested, as it sounds like he wants to remain a consistent and good father. Sharing the parenting of your children will always have to be about give and take.

It seems like you and your ex have the rationality to be able to sort through it sensibly and if you can sit down and talk it through together, all the better. There might be a bit of trial and error for a few months, but hopefully if you both keep your head, you wont need that lawyer.

I hope that helps.
helpmeplease 13/10/2014 at 12:39 pm
Good day! I would like to know what my ex's rights are towards visitation rights of our 2 year and 3 month old son is. He currently works 12 hour shifts and I have given him times that he can take our boy which I really do not think is unreasonable at all. I said that he could come and pick him up every second evening when he is working day shift so that he can take him that his grand-parents can see him, but that he must have him back at home by no later than 20:30 that he can bath and can be put to bed. On weeks that he is working night shift if he wakes up earlier he can just let me know then he can go and pick him up and just bring him home at 5pm. On weekends we can take turns with him one Saturday him and Sunday me and then the following weekend the other way around. Do you think I am being unreasonable in this instance as I mean he is my child as well and I also work and must also have my time with him? He is now being difficult and saying that at the rate I am going he is never going to see his child and his parents wont see him either and I cannot do it like that! Please advise me on this as I really do not want to take any drastic steps of going to a lawyer and am only acting in the best interests of my child.
jd76 11/10/2014 at 5:26 am
One Saturday morning in March my husband announced out of the blue that he longer wanted to be married or want our baby. I was 5 months pregnant. This was a complete shock as I thought everything was normal at home and I was so happy. We never fought, never had a cross word and even the night before had been stocking up on baby things. He wasn't prepared to talk to me or anyone with me about this. He just signed and rolled his eyes saying he had doubts and felt trapped. He didn't contact me until 2 wks before my due date. By this stage I'd been to hell and back and made my decisions that I was better off severing all ties. I have been putting him off but my daughter is almost 9 wks now and he is harassing me to see her and to see her birth certificate. Do I have any rights to stop him seeing as he didn't want her and he's starting to mess my head up all over again?? I don't want him near her. How can I watch him with her after what he did and said.
Dazlad 08/10/2014 at 10:45 am
Me and my wife had a row 5 days ago and she assaulted me I defended my self we both got arrested and both on bale. Our son is staying with her at the moment and I fear for his safety ! Can I just take him to live with me ? I'm going thought hell at the moment can anyone help ?
Concerneddad 03/10/2014 at 8:16 pm
I was just wondering if somebody could help me please. Its a fairly complicated one so please bare with me... i had a child with my (now ex) partner, signed the birth certificate and have had agreed joint custordy aswell as having the child stay with me for 3 out of 7 night a week. My daughter is now 1 and a half and i have very recently found out that i am not the biological father and that the actual biological father (who hasnt known untill recently) now wants toget rights to my daughter.

I was wondering what rights, if any, i have to remain the father with perental responsibility. I really couldnt live if they took my daughter from me. Any response would be greatly apreciated.
Mike 01/10/2014 at 11:28 am
Hi there can some one help me please I just need to no I've got a two year old boy I've split up with his mum for almost a year she is in a women's refuge I was told I can't see my son because I'm a risk to him what risk till this day I do not no social service apparently saying I'm a fight risk and that I'll take him all this my sons mum has said to my mum I'm confused if this was the case why havnt I had any contact from social to risk asses me or even write me a letter I'm not a bad I love my son his my world the worst thing is my names not even on his birth certifate his got my sername can someone please give me advise is apreciate it thank you
JJ3000 25/09/2014 at 3:24 am
In response to BLUE, reference your sons ex partner wanting to move to another county. As far as it goes, she can move anywhere in the UK. So say yo lived in London, she could freely move to the Shetland Islands if she wanted and. There is really nothing your son can do. Issues usually only arise if a parent wants to take a child out of the country of its birth.
JJ3000 25/09/2014 at 3:16 am
In response to Caramc. Even if its tempting, don't respond to the calls/emails/texts, save them though. From what you describe your daughters father is clearly known to the police, and the situan is clearly affecting your child. If the messages etc continue, make a complaint to the police. Its pretty clear he and his family are harassing you.
dannyboy34 Editor 25/09/2014 at 11:13 am
@Caramc, Yes you are doing the right thing because you are putting your daughter first and doing what is in her best interests. Your daughter doesn't need to see that kind of behaviour from her father as she will believe that this is an acceptable way for a man to treat a women. Report him to the police for harassment and get everything he does on record, keep emails, text messages etc. as this will help to build a strong case against him if it does end up in court. Don't let him bully you or your daughter, as it is clearly having a negative effect on your daughter and is causing her undue stress which is making her eczema flare up. Good luck and post back with any updates.
Caramc 24/09/2014 at 3:46 pm
Short version. Split from ex due to emotional/mental abuse and a court case for attacking my dad in front of daughter. He has had substantial contact since them of 3 days a week but abuse continues at handovers again with police involvement. 2 years in and the abuse continues and is getting worse. 5 weeks ago I stopped contact due to a handover incident whereby ex refused to hand over child and started yelling about what a horrible mother I was - all got a bit out of hand. Police called. Arrest and charge. I got a lawyer and he's replied requesting more time even though he can't keep to the current MOA agreement and lying about giving me maintenance which he doesn't!!!! And I've never asked for it either - have a good enough job to support me and our daughter. Any advice here? I'm stopping contact to stop this behaviour in front of daughter - she's seen enough and he's getting worse. His abuse is nonstop, he texts/calls/emails all the time. Since arrest 5 weeks ago nothing but now his mum's starting....

Surely my little one shouldn't have to deal with this stress on a weekly basis - she gets incredibly upset tells everyone daddy hates mummy and her excema flares up. Am I doing the right thing? Thinking that court is the only way to go to let a judge decide and so that he needs to stick to the arrangement put forward by court. I'm at my wits end here. You leave an abusive relationship to protect yourself and your child only for you both to continue being victims of the abuse. Advice? Anyone?
KD23 23/09/2014 at 4:53 pm
I am seperating from my partner of 14 years, we have two children aged 11 and 8, the eldest Ethan wants to come and live with me and the youngest wants to stay with mum, we have a home we bought together but my name was removed from the mortgage when it was changed 5 years ago, i have been told i wont recieve anything back from the property when it is sold.
What do i have to do to claim soul parental rights for Ethan?
will i have to pay for the youngest child?
what rights have i got with the house?
BLUE 16/09/2014 at 7:14 pm
My sons ex partner wants to move to another county with her new partner and our first grandchild, who is five...what rights has my son got in this matter please?
Jock 06/09/2014 at 10:57 pm
Hi,

I broke up with the mother of my child the day before she told me she was pregnant. I lost contact with her and as a 19 year old acted stupidly and dug my head in the sand!! 12 years later and regretting it for leaving it too bloody long I need to see him and try to make amends. Any clues on where to start
Ben 04/09/2014 at 8:54 am
Hi I have 3 sons aged 11,9 and 3, my eldest starts comp school in a year and he and his mum have never got on since we split up nearly 3 years ago, he is constantly counting down the days till he is legally allowed to come and live with me his dad, I am just wondering at what age he can come and live with me? because he is so unhappy and i just want what is best for him, I would like him to have a relationship with his mum but I don't see this happening as his is constantly been told off and made to do everything for her and yet he is the best kid I have ever known and I never have to tell him off, please help with some advise so my little boy can go back to being the happy little boy he always was, thank you
Zee 02/09/2014 at 4:48 pm
Hi
I separated with my partner some time ago and we have a 9 year old daughter. My partner was cheating with a work colleague of hers and that led to our break up even thought she was denying the whole thing. Right now they look like to be publicly dating with the very same guy whom she denied cheating with. Now after a visit my daughter does not want to go back to her mothers, she cries so much saying she wants to live with me and tells that to her mother too. Her mother acusses me of telling her stories which l don't, she does her things with this man infront of my daughter and l suppose she does not like it.
As a father what are my rights or what can l do because I think the whole situation is a torture to my daughter. Can someone help me on what steps to take. I pay CSA every month and hve my daughter every other week with me.
Thank you.
sahu 21/08/2014 at 11:54 am
I have one question my father in law who is 60yr old without her daughter (only child) or mine knowledge married to a 40 yr lady . we donot want any further problem in our life like claming maintaince after my father in law death. Is there any law so that my wife can be separated from her father or any other way available. Thank u.
Kate Editor 23/07/2014 at 11:27 am
@kevin, if you hadn't seen her in a year until yesterday then surely you could have taken the day off work so you could spend as much time with her as possible!
Kevin Graham 23/07/2014 at 9:23 am
I havnt seen my daughter for a year until yesterday n because I cudnt hang around due to goin to work am now gettin slanded on facebook just like many others out there I just want to see my child without the hassle can any1 help me please thanks
Shaun 08/07/2014 at 11:06 pm
I've been separated for 5 months and divorced in 2.5 months...
My ex let me have full visiting rights from the start ie every weekend.We had an agreed arrangement for monthly payments... She then decided that's was not good deal £400 a month for my two girls and demanded more, I refused then she cut all contact and visits for just over a month...I have since had them both and my oldest girl wants to live with me full time and doesn't want to go home.. Could someone please tell me if I would be breaking the law if I didn't take them back to my ex when I have them next because it's ripping my girls apart not wanting to return home they are 9yrs and 6yrs
Frustrated 03/07/2014 at 9:43 am
Hello,

Looking for recommendations of cost effective family lawyers in London who are fearlessly determined on behalf of their clients.

Any guidance gratefully received.

Many thanks
estrangeddad Editor 04/06/2014 at 11:17 pm
@gregs - my situation is similar to yours but my ex let loose the CSA as it was at the time on me. I feel aggrieved to pay for her to drink and smoke using the proceeds of my cash but I don't really know what to do about this crazy situation. How much are you paying for your two kids and is it enforced? The very best of luck mate.
Gregs 23/05/2014 at 9:52 am
Hi
In my early twenties I messed up.
I have two ex partners. Each one with one daughter.
One I see regularly. One I never see. I'm not allowed.
I'm not on either of their birth certificates.
Do I still have to pay for them? Especially as the one I don't see assumes the man living in he house is her dad. He is on the birth certificate.
But DNA tests prove I'm the father of both.
I'm especially frustrated I'm paying money to these mums who will spend it on themselves when I'm on a low income and trying to support my new family.
Thanks in advance.
nige 01/04/2014 at 2:39 pm
My second wife wants to separate , she says i am responsible for maintenance and i have to provide a roof over her head , I jointly shier the house in my name only and pay half rent , my wife has nothing financially to do with it ? she also is threatening to tie herself in on my first wife's home were i agreed with my first wife that her and my four kids can live there till the youngest is 19 years ! please advise .
Pohl 12/03/2014 at 6:24 pm
Hello. I was wondering if anyone has any information as to how I could possibly have some rights to my 3 year old son. His mother and I married briefly in the United States. She then returned to the UK and had our son there. I reside in Florida, as the US has been my residence for over 25 years. I do not have her phone number and she has blocked me from social networks so i cannot make contact via email. She also changed her personal email address. Are there any laws protecting foreign fathers that help in establishing contact with your child again? Any suggestions would help. I will be sending a certified letter asking her to reestablish my contact with him.

Thank you in advance.
Cara 16/02/2014 at 2:12 pm
Hi All, my kids father is a heroin user, I left him when I was 8 months pregnant with my daughter, he also hit me which he got a fine for, my daughter is now 11 months old and my son is 2, their father has decided to ask me for contact the thing is my son doesn't remember him and my daughter doesn't know him, I don't want my son to be around a heroin user even if he is his dad am I wrong and will he get contact
Mouse 31/01/2014 at 12:30 pm
Can someone help me please, my ex-wife is not letting me see our 3 year old son as from the other day. I have him all day on tuesdays and take him back to her friends coz she stopped me going to the house July last year when her youngest daughters (12) dad had suddenly after 11 years come back on the scene, he has a criminal past and used to beat her up, I also have my son after nursery on a wednesday for 3 hours. We officailly got divorced jan 2012 but we got back together sep 2012 then she through me out again March 2013, she phoned me in work told me i would be staying at her friends and had changed the locks, i was devastated. She has been claiming as a single parent since april 2010 as she has another daughter as well (17) by another father neither of the girls fathers are on there birth certificates, however i am on my sons birth certificate as we were married at the time, she has been claiming for 4 years now as a single mum, she has the rent paid for, coucil tax, child benefits, tax credits coz she is classed as self employed through Avon and to top it all she has had over 70k off me since july 2011. Anyway on wednesday i was trying to put my son in his new (big boy) car seat as he calls it and any parent out there will understand when your child goes rigid and doesnt want to go in it you have to force them in it, while this was going on someone reported me to the police and as my car is still registered at her house (which the police didnt have a problem with) they went around to hers and asked to see our son, she got him out of bed and of course he was fine, she had a house full at the time a female friend, her mum from up north was staying and other kids as well, she told them where i was staying and some police came round to see me and said they just had to follow it up. I then phoned my ex and she was not very happy at all and said they would be informing social services and that she shouldn't really speak to me till this was sorted out, she then told me i couldn't have our son son next tuesday & wednesday till this was sorted out. I went to the police station last night because i was so distraught i hadn't done anything wrong i adore my son and would never harm him, a very nice seargent listened to me and completely empathised with me, then he checked the police records and said the police wouldn't say that to her anyway and absolutely no way did the social services get involved, he advised me to text her on monday to say i had been to the police and everything was fine and could i have our son as usual the next day, he said if she said no keep the texts and go and see a solicitor.
stooby28 27/01/2014 at 9:25 pm
i want to take my 11 year old daughter for a weeks holiday to portugal in june but her mother has refused,she has taken her to various holiday destinations during term time but says i can not take my biological daughter abroad until she is sixteen years old , my name is on the birth certificate and i was present at the registration of her birth , what are my and my daughters rights over this , my daughter really wants to go
nutty 14/01/2014 at 5:39 pm
I split up with my ex in august last year and she was pregnant with my baby at the time and he was born in November. I've seen him 4times since he was born and they have left me off the birth certificate!! and now I cant see him at all for no reason and it isn't fair. I really want to see my son and be a dad!!! so what do I do now about seeing him?? ive been to see a solicitor and its really expensive and I cant afford it. what shall I do??? please help me!
Stuholds 23/12/2013 at 3:01 am
Hello I dont know if this site can help me but my Son is in a bad position and I haven't a clue what to do. I moved to America 12 years ago and had a Son a year later. After 5-6 years of abusive from my female partner I saw it fit for us to go our separate ways. Due to community property I lost my business as it had to be sold off (Community Property).My wife took my Son away to another state to teach me a lesson and I had to find the money to bring her to court. The Lawyer I had wanted me to go for full rights as she shown she was unstable. I didn't want a Son without his Mom so in mediation we agreed both right equal rights but not to use my Son as a way to get to me. My lawyer also stipulated as she received a substantial amount of money she wouldn't go for child support as she got a good deal and I ended up Jobless 1000's in debt she never helped with (though by law she had to) in the mediation the mediator said she couldn't stop my Son coming to England as it was half his heritage. Since I went on a spiral downwards and lost everything I built for 6 years I ended up loosing. She wont let my son come over on a Nanny based flight he's 12 now I haven't seen him in three years since coming back to the UK. Now my Son is in the same type of relationship where my x is in a very destructive relationship allows my son to steal with her and be subject to some really nasty abusive arguments with her x (Police have been involved) I really don't know where to start trying to get visitation. I never forget Birthdays or Christmas and send Money monthly. Is there anyone that can help me with the USA legal system so I can at least have a visit from my son. Apparently she has made a claim for Child support and probably said noting about what she got and for that reason I can't ever go back even though she's has thousand from me and I'm sure she doesn't say she gets anything from me. The judge Loris Kennedy whom dealt with our issues was known to take children from their parents and due to this I was so afraid of the US legal system. I came back to England in 2003 a fairly broken man to the UK and am since trying to get back on my feet. Can anyone help me? or point me in a right direction? Thank you and merry Christmas
wiggie 01/10/2013 at 1:02 am
i and my partner split up may this year after 2 years at christmas we had a feeling she was pregnate well it enderd up she was and she gave birth to our son just over aweek ago when we split up in may she said i would never get to see my baby and that i wasnt going on the birth certifecute she never told me when she went into labour so already ive missed out on the birth of my son and first child but because its my firsts child i just dont know what to do so put it out on facebook that i need help and somone put me kintouch with this site so here i am i just want to be their for my son but ive not spoken to my ex since the break up and i have tryed ringing her but she will not respond to my calls and now its breaking my heart because its been a week to long already and ive not even seen my boys face or find out anything so i hope some were some one can help me because its eeffectting me very much and finding im crying myself to sleep at night because i feel so down and depressed
Coll 27/09/2013 at 7:30 pm
Hi me and my partner have split his on the birth certificate and now he wants joint custody so he can have her over night she's only two and a half and won't sleep unless I'm next to her he has had a violent past with me and my family and an ex drug problem I let him see her for a few hours on a Sunday so his family can see her and he takes her for a few hours when ever he likes I just don't want to go through a day and night without seeing her we haven't been apart at all and we're really close he was living in my house and using my money only paying it back later I had to move back with family because he attacked me but I never went police and I did stay there some nights to keep him happy so he wouldn't want to go court but no he says he doesn't want to see me anymore and just wants time with my daughter which is fine but not all weekend and not over night would I be able to stop him I'm really stressed and scared please help
Matt 25/08/2013 at 10:22 pm
Dear All
My ex wife is trying to move away with my 4 children (11, 9, 7 and 6). We have been seperated for 3 years and up till this point we have amicably agreed a 50% custody agreement. She is now threatening to move up north with them because "it's cheaper to live on benefits". I work hard full time (shifts) but still make the 50% agreement work. The move is defintely not in their best interests and I need to know what steps to take.....
Please help
Matt
stokieblairsy 19/08/2013 at 7:18 am
My ex partner has change my son's surname by deep poll, I'm on my son birth certificate and pay csa, it's hard for me to see my son because I was in a violent relationship. So don't see my son as much as I want to. I don't want him see that a his age. But is it possible she can do this. And rub it in my face when I see him. Showing me the papers. Help??
styles 20/07/2013 at 10:23 pm
Hi, I am seperated from my girlfriend who gave birth to my son 6 months ago, she failed to et me sign the birth certificate. I am trying to get reasonable and appropiate access to see my son, My ex partner keeps making me meet my son with her for one hour in the pub and I feel this isnt appropiate as she keeps provoking confrontation arguments and im not bonding with my son. I want to take legal action, but im not on birth certficate, any ideas anyone what I should do??
jaxonsdad 17/07/2013 at 6:30 pm
Im going through a contact and access case at the moment due to my ex partner ,she cheated on me last year and ihad doubts about the paternity of our child who was born in dec 2012, we split just after my son was born I provided for him every week and saw him 4-6 times per week and stayed 3 times a week until febuary 2013 every thing was fine we was trying to get back together until she admitted cheating and my son may not be mine. during aprile I spent over 2000 pounds on her and my son and she even wanted a puppie ,it all ended when I told her I had apllied for a county court contact order as my name wasn't on the birth certificate and she told me il never have any rights if he is mine.at the end of april she behind my back got an injunction against myself full of lies. I havnt seen my son since april this year , at the hearing the curt ordered a dna test which went my way im his daddy. :) ,since then ive been arreasted for alledged facebook harassment and im in court for this even though im not guilty and the police failed to check my evidence ,she has lied and lied even saying she moved back to her own area to get away from me last aug and I havnt lived with her since ,a lie , igot the house paid for it furnished it did every thing even my daughter lived with us, so now ive got county court next month for contact and a magistartaes trial in sept. my family law solicitor is useless never returns my calls,, I feel so alone but il get there for my son hes my life all ithink about
Andy 17/07/2013 at 1:09 am
I would like some advice please. I don't like the fact that me ex partner brings her boyfriend to school to share in our daughter's events such as her Christmas party and sports day. Is there anything I can do as I really don't feel comfortable with the situation. To me, he has no right being there, I am her Father and I shouldn't have to feel this way when I want to enjoy my Daughter's special days.Many ThanksAndy
paul 02/05/2013 at 5:13 pm
same situation as you damo.
my daughters 5 and i have her every friday, saturday and sunday and have done since she was born.
most weekends she comes to mine saying her and her mum dont get on, she ignores her and doesnt interact with her. iv heard of horrible situations where my daughter has to "go fetch a roll up" before shes allowed to do something she wants. also she always says she wants to live with me. but basically the way things are as a father i dont stand a chance. mothers have the rights they have the custody etc. every time i bring these situations up to her mother i get told to keep out of her business or she wont allow me to have my daughter every weekend...
Damo 10/04/2013 at 9:28 pm
I am a father of two and my six year old has rised concern that she isn't happy living at her mothers and wants to live with me but her mom is saying no what can I do
Sassy 31/03/2013 at 6:22 pm
HiMy partner and I live in Spain with my partners son who is 14. He has 2 other children by his ex who were born out here but she has taken them back to the UK to live. She is making it very difficult for him to see his children in England and is putting the pressure on for the oldest to go and visit her. My partners worry is that if he sends him over she will not let him return and that if he accompanies him she will cause trouble which will upset all of the children. His son is adamant that he does not want to live with his mother although he misses his brothers and it is important for him to maintain a relationship with his mother. She refuses to come out here to visit (although she still has her house here). Does anyone know if there is a way we can legally protect his son so that when he goes to visit his mother she has to let him come back to his dad. Thanks for any help
Ben3343 21/03/2013 at 10:24 am
Hi,
My ex wife and I have been separated 2 years.
I have been with my new partner 6 months.
Just recently I was called into work on the days that I have agreed to have my daughter, as I didn't want to go the whole week without seeing my daughter my partner agreed to look after her while I was on shift. ( I should add we live together)
My ex wife found out about this and has threatened court action if this happens again. Her words 'nobody else is to have Our daughter alone other than you'
Is there any legal route she can go down to stop my partner spending time with my daughter?
And more importantly is there any legal documentation I can show to prove my ex wife shouldn't interfere unless she has reason to believe her daughter is in danger.
It appears to be a classic case of jealousy on her part.
Many thanks
PNJT 24/02/2013 at 12:50 pm
My 16 year old son stays one night a week at my house. This has been the "arrangement" (on the insistence of his mother, NOT a court order) since 2001 when we separated. The CSA have of course used that as well as my income to determine the payment to her. Now however, my son wants to spend 3 or 4 nights a week with me, but is concerned that this will lead to a major conflict with his mum. Me and her do not get on well. Not only has she manipulated me using my kids, she has previously manipulated HMRC for Tax credits, the council in terms of Council Tax ( she did not declare her boyfriend living with her) and of course, the CSA to get the current level of payment. As far as I'm concerned, my son can stay with me whenever he wants, but she is starting to resist, obviously fearing that her CSA payment will be reduced. The facts are that I have earned NO money since July 2011 and have been financing an investment project with some inherited money. My money is fast running out, but I have started a small retail business that is yet to make any profit. Despite this, I have always kept up the CSA payment, even though the circumstances that shape it have changed massively. I now have no choice but to approach the CSA and tell them about my income and the fact that my son will be staying with me more. At 16, I believe I am right in saying that this is now HIS choice and not his mother's? I am also hoping that the CSA will reduce my liability. What do you think?
concerned ear 04/01/2013 at 12:20 pm
Having read through the regrettable issues you have all had to deal with it really doe smake me angry that there are some women in this world who are so weak that they have to draw on their only strength - using a child to assert power! It's truly saddening that they cannot see that what they think is their way of protecting the child, is actually casuing more harm than good.

The courts should always be the last resort as courts are a lengthy, timely and costly practice but too often there is no other choice. The important thing to remember is to try to keep consistent in the child's life - don't give the mother a chance to be able to say 'he doesn't care, he hasn't attempted...' ect. This may be via telephonecalls for e.g.

Please do continue posting and speaking.
whatcourtorder? 03/01/2013 at 1:52 pm
Inspite of receiving 50/50 custody order from court my ex was able to stop me seeing the children leaving me with NO recourse other than to apply for ANOTHER court order!

Insite of my refusal to give permission for my e to take my children out of the country she applied to court and left BEFORE receiving judgement.

In BOTH cases there was NOTHING that I could do!

Don't tell me that court orders are worth anything! THEY ARENT!
Johnny 06/10/2012 at 6:35 am
Hi split with my girl after nearly 6years! Ave 2 kids which 1 is nt mind but ive been ter for him since day 1 as a dad n he also thought I was his dad on till me n his mum fell out n she decide to tell him hes only 7! We had another kid together who is nearly 11months n he is mind n my name is on birth certifice now she tryin to stop me seen him! Can any1 help with wat rights I ave on seen him n things like tht thanks
eddymcpre 18/09/2012 at 7:08 pm
A long story short, I was in a relationship with someone for around 13/14 months.I remember when she got pregnant late december 2011, went to our first scan - Which ended up being my last :-(.- then 9 months later pretty much bang she gives birth to a daughter (Which I always wanted).I found out from her mums wall on facebook yesterday and lone behold she was with another man, meaning I was abit on the side throughout are whole relationship.This lad was with her at birth so no doubt he will be on the birth certificate. I am positive I am the biological dad by 99.9% if not a hundred.I offered child support etc not long back but she stopped talking to me randomly late June I think.Now, My big Question! What if their relationship breaks down? will I be some back up plan for my ex then the CSA come after me with a massive bill even though HE is on the birth certificate??Oh I forgot to mention, she also text me a few months ago lying about a miscarriage, this must of been between 13-20 weeks (Can't remember exactly) this was obviously a big lie though (I have all conversations via text recorded though from a website I used).I hope someone can help me.Many thanks!
jim 12/09/2012 at 8:58 pm
I have 3 children with my ex partner 2 on 8 and 9 and a daughter of 6 and before the school holidays I saw them every other weekend from fri to sun. Iwas due to have ther for a week and she told me to buy their school shoes and have to be clarks and just because I said I cant afford them she stoped me from seeing them what can I do to get to see my children again ?
Jay 01/08/2012 at 9:50 am
After 7.5 years together and twins (3yrs old) I discovered 3 months ago my wife had been havng a 7 month affair. To make it more complicated she then met someone else at the end of that affair and rather than rebuild our marriage has now starting seeing him. Currently she and my children are living in the house we bought about a year ago and I am renting a flat. The children think I am busy at work and I see a lot of them. When my current tenancy runs out (in Nov) I will rent a slightly bigger place and they can stay with me regularly. I don't want to take my wife to court because I don't want to turn into a battling couple as I want to look back on my kids life and know I acted with dignity. Therefore I have agreed to wait for a 2 year seperation divorce. However in the meantime she is likely to (with my agreement re the children) eventually move in her new partner. I am concerned that this will give him certain rights etc when we eventually look into selling the house (or my wife buying me out) which due to finacnial reasons will probably not be for about 2 and a half years. FInancially if we sold the house now we'd walk away with hardly anything, whereas we want to clear our debt first over the next couple of years. Any advice - especially on the legal standing of someone moving in contributing to mortgage payments etc
hurt 27/07/2012 at 10:43 pm
I will have been married to my husband for only two years this august. I went to a solicitor a few months ago as his behaviour had become so irrational. I have a 2 and a half year old daughter and I'm due with our second in November. Some of his behaviours are he told me to jump off a bridge and kill myself and the baby. he locked me out of the house while I was 5 month pregnant and I had to find somewher to stay 10.30 in the evening. he cornered me in his van today while my daughter and I were in a car (he actualy hit the car) he has now gone and taken my daughter to his parents house 200miles away. I've had abusive texts off his mother telling me that she has rights over my daughter and he's insisting that he sees her every weekend. When he takees her when we've had an argument he leaves her with his mother and goes out. I dont want to stop him seeing her as she loves him dearly and he is a good dad just a bad husband. I want to know where I stand in regards to our children as i'm being bullied by him and his mother and I feel that I have no rights over my own child. They've just up and taken her!! please help me, is there anything I can do, can anybody please please help
B 25/07/2012 at 11:21 pm
I have six months ago met a new partner, whom I have developed a loving meaningful relationship with and we want to plan our future together. I have a 9 year old daughter whom I adore and I would now like her to meet my new partner. I have suggested this to my ex-wife whom replied that she would not allow it ever. My ex-wife is very controlling and though she lets me have to access to our daughter its always on her terms. I so want my daughter to be part of life with my new partner and her family who are so kind, caring and loving, I just want my daughter to be able to be party to family holidays, outings etc. However my ex-wife will not allow any of this. Can she stop me from introducing my daughter to my new partner and eventually to her family, whom are a great family.
john night 15/07/2012 at 6:22 pm
I have been kicked out of my rented home by my wife because I have had an affair do I still have to pay the rent for her
Brazil 11/06/2012 at 1:12 pm
Hi, me and my girl friend split up Feb 2011and since this time I have had my son nearly every weekend since (usually Fri evening to Sun evening), and even before this I had him on weekends to give her a break from the other 3 children she had from her previous marrage. Since the beginning of May this year she has stopped me seeing my 3 and half year old son, she will not respond to text messages or answer the phone. She has told me that she will not allow me to see him because she believes his behaviour is a by-product of him staying with me. After hearing this, I arranged a meeting at his nursery with the head teacher to establish if my son had any behaviour issues, thank God she confirmed he hasn't got any at Nursery, he is always well behavoured when he stayed with me.I still send her our informally agreed monthly maintenance, this I have done since he was born. I am the biological father and my name is on his birth certificate therefore I have PR. I'm not sure what to do, I have sent her a well balanced letter, asking her to consider mediation in order for us to agree access for his needs, she has not responded. Any advice would be welcome.
Cousinsclearance 10/06/2012 at 2:49 pm
I have joint responsibilty for my son and daughter and I am not with their mother. However I live in council flat (for over 2 years) with my partner and her teenage son but things are proving difficult as I now need a 3 bed, do you know if I am eligible to transfer to a bigger place to accommodate my son, my daughter, my partner and her teenage son?
gutted 13/05/2012 at 10:24 pm
This is new too me oki have recently seperated from my wife I have 2 young children we are going seperate ways I have said im willing to pay half mortgage and hopefully come to an arrangement without courts etc about paying my way with children I earn £300 a week £ 350 has to go towards mortgage.i have been pricing bed sits whic at the moment is not ideal its just a bed in a room costing about £60.00 pw I have mentioned to my ex about getting a flat but coming to an agreement that I can afford one as this provides room for if my 2 girls come stay with me.what I am asking is am I asking for too much and should we hopefully come to an agreemnet mutually without court etcany examples of anyone on here who went through the route of courts to find you both regretted going through that process?? as its so much money examples of costs be ideal too?thanks
jimmy 17/04/2012 at 12:19 pm
I have split up with my partner and she is living back at her mums while i am living back at our house. this was her choice as she did not want to live where our house is and has stayed at her mums only coming back to our house at weekends for over 2 years now. I want access to my child once every 2 weeks for a full weekend. This is because of working overtime to keep the house going which my sone classes as home. she thinks i should have him every week on a saturday which benefits her as for a long time now all she does is go out on saturday night. Who is it i need to see about getting the access i need due to work etc and what chance have i got of getting those rights. A lot of seperated couple i know have the same arrangement and it seem reasonable to me
dippy 02/03/2012 at 10:48 pm
Under a parental responsibility court order, does my ex have to inform the court of his new address as he has moved to another town. He's not even given me his correct address.I'm affraid that he may take her when I take her to meet him for a visit in my home town. She is eight.
nuria 19/02/2012 at 9:54 am
I am awaiting the decree absolute after being separated for 3 years, but I am pregnant from another relationship and due soon in about 5 weeks. Will my ex husband be automatically named on the Birth certificate? I sued for divorce due to unreasonable behavior. Thank you in advance.
steph 06/02/2012 at 3:48 pm
Hi, I was with my ex for a year and when he found out I was pregnant he left and didn't see him then until my daughter was 6months old. I then put him on the birth certificate thinking it was the right thing. he slowly lost interest with her and now only sees her one day a week for an hour. I asked him too see her more and he told me no, then threatened me with court for asking too see her more, what right does he actually have and does his Mom and dad have any right ?
Fletch 03/02/2012 at 12:39 pm
Hi.hope you can help me.i split with my ex a year ago and we have a 3 year old daughter I have no problems with him seeing our girl and have never stopped him even tho he cancels seeing her alot.the prob is he has a new girlfriend and is known for taken drugs/stealing also has mental problems.she has 2 children and has social service involved in the care of them.can I stop her seeing my daughter.shes has also threatened me. Please can anyone advise me.
paulie 03/02/2012 at 1:15 am
if i have joint custody of my kids am i not entitled to a council flat or house i have 3 kids 11 10 and 6 im at the end of what i can put up with now please tell me
Simon 23/01/2012 at 6:25 pm
Hi, I have been with my partner for 7 years and we have three children - 4, 3 and nearly 2. I had a one night stand about 18 months ago and whilst we have tried to work it out she has decided that she doesn't want to be with me anymore and doesn't feel the same way. In the very short time since she made the decision to separate she has started a new job 150 miles away and started seeing another man who happens to own the company she now works for. She has decided to move to the area where she works and is planning to take the children with her in a few months time, prior to our middle child starting school. I'm not in a position work wise to be able to move there as well so the extent of my contact with my children will be every other weekend at best. I don't believe this is the fit thing to do for the children, and certainly not for me as the father. I have always been an incredibly active father, fully sharing responsibility for looking after the children when my partner is working away (2-3 days a week). Now that she is in a new job she also has to go overseas for a week at a time every few months and she is working all the hours god sends, including weekends and evenings. She claims this will change in September but this is her work ethic and I'm not so certain it will change. Essentially, I don't believe the children moving there is the best for them. Who will look after them when she needs to work? What does she expect to do when she has to go overseas? Will she expect me to just take them (I would of course, but should it be taken for granted?). On top of this, the house she is moving to is owned by the man she is seeing (he is very wealthy) and has just been fully furnished at his expense. Assuming they stay together for the next few months I can only imagine they will move in together and this brings me onto my other concern. I have found out (factual, not assumed) that the man has mental problems - severe anxiety disorder and major depression. I know this because I saw the letter from his GP that showed the results of two tests he had to do (my partner left it on the side in error at home). I'm concerned about my children being in the care of a man with such problems, especially as I won't be close by. My partner has also been married twice before, and been in 2-3 serious relationships before we got together and has walked out of all of them because they didn't suit her needs. She has now done the same to me (admittedly I had the one night stand but things weren't right before that). Our children are very needy and need constant attention and continuity and I don't believe she is going to be able to give them that. I believe I could give them that if they stay at home with me. Any views would be very welcome! Many thanks for reading if you got this far.....
Kibs 17/01/2012 at 2:36 pm
I separated from my girlfriend 6 months ago and she's now moving to northern Ireland and has decided to stop me' from seeing my son and has cancelled all contact and is refusing to give me' an address. I pay money weekly into her bank account and was present at birth and on the birth certificate. Please tell me' how I can gain access to our son and if she has the right to cut me' out of his life simply because I have moved on. Thank you
smithy 12/01/2012 at 7:29 pm
Hi my partners ex decides to stop his contact with his son whenever she feels like it: it can be months at a time with no contact, it takes him to go to a solicitor before he is allowed access again. Can he still get an official agreement in writing so that she cannot just stop the contact whenever she pleases even though he is currently allowed access???
dadio 08/01/2012 at 8:30 am
I have an 11 year old daughter and I am emigrating to Australia, originally my daughter wished to live with us in Australia now she says she would prefer 6 months in Australia with me and 6 months with her mother in the UK. I do not have PR but I am on the birth certificate and my daughter has my surname, she currently has stays with me every Friday after school to Sunday 5 pm since she was 3 years old, I also take her on holiday one per year for 2 weeks and she stays some school holidays when it suits her mother.If I was able to ensure her schooling was not hindered how would I go about getting joint custody, my ex partner will not agree to these arrangements.
twiglet 03/01/2012 at 5:10 pm
I have a 9 year old son with my ex we split 5 years ago but have always been part of his life I was there for the birth etc but she never put me on the birth certificate I have been in a new relationship for the past 3 years and since got married my son stays all the time he came in october and has just gone home its bin like this for the last 2 years he stays for months on end we take him on holiday and buy him what he needs and she still wont put me on the birth certificate when I have made to appointments to get my name on and she has not turned up he has a better life with me while she goes on and spends all his money on clubbing she is never there for him its always me untill she wants to turn up and see him when she wants I think after all I do I should be on the birth certificate wat do I do now ?????
SLK 27/12/2011 at 2:13 pm
Hello, i am writing on behalf of someone else:
He is married but seperated with 2 children. The mother has not let him see his Children for nearly 8 weeks now and has also increased his CSA maintenance as he isn't seeing them. So he is paying alot of money and isn't even allowed to see them. What rights does a father have?
He is also having to get a solicitor and take the mother to court which is costing alot more money. So as it stands, he is paying alot of money each month to not see his Children and now needs to pay for a solicitor to see his Children.
Surely this is not acceptable?
The father's name is on both birth certificates.
Thanks
worried 20/12/2011 at 9:46 pm
My ex partener who I was with briefly is pregnant and refusing me contect with our soon to be child she says if I'm not on bc or present at bith or recorded any where as the father I have no rights?? Is this true or can I take her to court for dna?? She says I need her permission for dna even thru th courts and she won't give it?? Where do I stand??? Thanku in advancex
seva 17/12/2011 at 6:59 pm
My wife left me three days ego and she take our 15 months son with her abroad to Bosnia, she insists that by law she has the right to take him and only let me see him as she likes. I am British citizen as my son, but she is Bosnian citizen. I am on the birth certificate; can I legally demand equal time with my son and for him to stop over? Please I hope there's some help out there for me, my son is my world and he worships me it really isn't fair for me or him not to be able to spend as much time together as possible, thanks.
Pete 13/11/2011 at 9:05 am
Hi I am divorced and have 2 sons. I want to have my 2 sons stop over on 2 nights every other week, but my wife refuses as it will reduce her CSA payment. Do I have any rights at all and if so what can I do? Help
crackers 04/11/2011 at 7:21 pm
me and partner have been seperated for about 4months now.we have a 8month old daughter together,i am the father and my name is on the birth certificate.....she said she wont let me have her over night,am i entitled to have her over night?
oakley_ten 04/11/2011 at 9:24 am
No Father, married or divorced, has equal rights with the Mother. You gave your parental rights away when you registered your childrfen with the state. The state owns your kids and appointed the Mother as their 'care agent'. A similar question was asked on 'Question Time' last night. Every politician on the show avoided answering the question because they all know this fact. Don't take my word for it, google 'Birth certificates' etc.
d 03/11/2011 at 11:06 am
i have recently had my 6yr old son living with me since 08/08/11 agreed to my the mother and myself. She removed him from school early on 01/11/11 and has not let me see him since and won't tell me when I can see him. What are my rights and what should be my next step. We are seperated not married and my name is on the birth certificate.
worried grandmother 14/09/2011 at 8:19 am
I write for my self and my son who has 2 children aged 5 and 3. his name is on the birth certificates. He sees them once or twice each week or as much as his former partner will allow. They stay over each every other weekend and he supports them financially. Their mother wants to live in Australia with her new partner and child taking my grand children with her. My son does not want this to happen. How can he stop this from happening.
k 13/09/2011 at 3:40 pm
I have joint resedancy with the grandparents and they will not let me see my son.do I phone the police?
lee 05/08/2011 at 7:02 pm
I split from my partner of 17years and we have 3 kids together but were not married. His name is on the birth certificates. I was wondering what rights he has to them, my oldest is 11 born 1999 the second is 8 born 2000 the youngest is 4 born 07.
CM 29/07/2011 at 1:58 pm
My divorce is at the decree nisi stage .I am the respondent and the uncontested grounds where unreasonable behaviour .I have recently found out that my wife is commiting adultery and has moved her boyfriend into our former home which she now owns .She has lied in every way possible about this person to me and my children including his name where he lives etc in order I believe to protect her own and his reputation as he has a responsible job.She has also filled in a form returned to the court to say that she would not be co-habiting with anyone.My concern is that my children live with her by mutual agreement and I am not happy about the fact that I do not know anything about the boyfriend or wether he could be any form of danger to them she has also stopped my youngest child from visiting me at all as was agreed because he has told me the truth about his name which he found out by accident.I am obviously unable to take her word that he is safe after all the lies and deceit she has told me please help
Jo 21/07/2011 at 6:55 pm
My husband split up with me last year and I left the marital home with my 3 children to move back to my home town to my family. His name was on my children's birth certificate before we got married, what parental rights does he have now we have split up? And can he stop me moving abroad ?He try's to still have control of my life by not taking kids if we fall out or if we disagree, how can I stop this? I haven't been to seek legal advice as have been trying to set up home from scratch for my children and I emotionally couldn't deal with it all. from Scotland
Wayne 18/07/2011 at 5:49 pm
My wife of 19 years walked out of the family home 6 months ago and took my 3 children with her. I have had no contact with my children since then and all I want to know is, is this legal and what are my rights as the biological father?
ianloveday 11/07/2011 at 7:23 am
I have a 19 month old daughter who means the world to me and my ex partner stopped me from seeing her for the first 15 months of her life, I went to court and gained visitation rights but my ex is refusing to put my name on my daughters birth certificate, please is there anything I can do, my daughter is my world and I want to be able to be there for her whenever she needs me.
lost 25/06/2011 at 6:58 am
The mother of my son is moving out today and taking my son with her, she insists that by law she has the right to take him and only let me see him as she likes. I am on the birth certificate, can I legally demand equal time with my son and for him to stop over? Please I hope there's some help out there for me, my son is my world and he worships me it really isn't fair for me or him not to be able to spend as much time together as possible, thanks.
Mick 15/06/2011 at 12:26 pm
My sons girlfriend has stopped me for seeing our granddaughter we have asked why and she said she don't like us. She is putting our son though hell what can we do? She will not let our son take her anywhere on his own she says she don't trust him. He still lives with her, it's a horrible situation to be in do I need to get legal advise?
lungs 13/06/2011 at 10:06 am
My ex told me 2 days ago she has a new relationship, and has been going on for 6 months. Our 3 children live with her and I have access to them, she won't disclose any information about her new partner, he visits the house, the children have seen him but not met, the house is half mine. have I a right to know about her partner because he visits my childrens home. She won't/can't pay me my half of the equity so I can move on, I have a small flat I rent so the children can stay overnight.
jessie81 08/06/2011 at 8:21 am
I need to know does a father with parental rights have thr right to stop me taking my children abroad and if so is they anything I can do so I can take them.
moto 02/06/2011 at 4:28 pm
I have twin daughters age 10 there mother has physically and emotionally abused them for a number of years. In 2009 i found an adult bite mark on one of the girls i envolved the appropriate people police social workers etc and a section 47 report was compiled i kept the girls from there mother as she was the person who inflicted the bite and she was cautioned by the police for ABH. A case conferance was only conviened once i returned the girls to her care. Since a further 2 allegations have been made by my girls when i have contact the latest being mums boyfriend hit my daughter round the head with the handle of a hammer and kicked her again i phoned and envolved all the appropriate people and a section 47 was again undertaken and the mums boyfriend cautioned by the police for ABH. I am now refusing to return the girls to ther mother and have applied for a variation to residencey, specific steps order to change there school and a prohibitive steps order. My problem is i addmitted the girls to a new school as i live 20 miles from there current school but there mother has had her solicitor send the school a letter saying she is not in agreeance with them attending the school as she has a residency order. I have PR for the girls. I know from my solicitor that i have a 90% chance of gaining residency but in the mean time i need the girls to attend school near me. They are also wishing they they do not return to there old school as they are scared of mum coming to get them as this has been attemted before.Also she has embroiled other parents in this and everyone is aware of the girls situation and they are being bullied and sent messages by children of other parents the mother has envolved. They just want me to take control and i feel this is slipping away from me. What can be done to get them in school by next week near to where i live until the residency order is heard. It is listed for the latter part of next week hopefully and i need to return to work after the school holidays end next tuesday.

I hope you can help
JJ 29/05/2011 at 7:30 pm
What are the obstructions that are used to impose a section 91 (14)?
Alys_1976 25/05/2011 at 1:07 pm
Re: my last post......The ex-partners (childs mothers) terms are for the contact to be supervised OR watched without us knowing to ensure I am not present at anytime! Hence being impractical & intrusive
Alys_1976 25/05/2011 at 1:00 pm
My partner has a 6 year old daughter who he would normally see alternate weekends. His ex-partner has previously tried to place restrictions (where he takes her etc) & only have arrangements on her terms. I am his present partner, & his ex hasn't accepted our relationship & the fact I also see their daughter. She often blames me for being the instigator in any changes to contact. She is also embittered that we have a good time when together & my family have embraced the child. She has tired to contact me on numerous occasions in an aggressive manner therefore I wrote her a letter showing good intention. She continued to involove/mention me during telephone calls with my partner. I have tried to contact her by telephone to express I want nothing to do with her & she had now misconstrued this as harrassment from myself. Other things have been mentioned to mark my character. This is now being used as a reason to cease my partner's contact with his daughter unless it is absolutely on her terms & supervised. This has not been accepted yet as the reason for doing so is unsubstantiated, intrusive, impractical (we cohabit) & I have never compromised the childs welfare in any way. My partners solcitor has mentioned a contact order as the next step. He does have a solicitor but I wanted to enquire seperately with regards to who this will involve: An appearance in court by the parents only? As I am mentioned as a reason for ceasing contact, would I have to attend? I am reluctant to get my own legal representation because it will provide more ammunition & reinforce the child's mother that it is an issue between her & I, which I don't want. Also, I am in the process of changing jobs, moving home & studying! Any advice about this difficult & stressful situation. would be appreciated
Fee 23/05/2011 at 11:27 am
My question is, I am english but have lived in Germany for the past 20 years. I will be coming back to the UK at the end of the year for good but have a 6 month old child. I am seperated from the childs mother and we don't get along very well. I still want to see my child and I would like my child to meet its english family. Does my child have the right to British citizenship and the right to own a British passport?
wedda 22/05/2011 at 7:38 pm
I've got joint custody and joint residence my ex has just got 2 bullmastiffs age approx 2/3 years old. I believe my 15 and 8 year old boys are in danger can I keep them with me till she finds suitable home for dogs.
kim dickson 22/05/2011 at 3:52 pm
My son is 18 and his girlfriend is 17 she has just given birth, we have all fully supported them throughout the pregnancy and both present during birth but since baby came out of hospital her mother has told my son he has to prove himself to be on birth certificate and various other horrible comments. Can she do this it's nothing to do with her mum, my son wants to be a full time dad and wants all responsibilities but she is taking over. We are all heartbroken.
carla 13/05/2011 at 2:55 am
My partner and I have split up and she is pregnant with my baby. I want our baby to have my last name but she says she won't give my last name to our baby. What are my rights?
Cindy 25/04/2011 at 12:04 pm
My husbands ex is withholding contact with his two girls (that they had while married). We were told by a friend (who is a magistrate) that her actions were illegal. What I want to know is if that is correct where in law can I find it documented. I face the first of our court sessions for contact order in a couple days time.
Jon 12/04/2011 at 10:35 pm
I've been paying through the CSA for 10 years for my son who is near 13, last year I had another child with my long term girlfriend. CSA made a mistake and reduce the payments down to nil, after 2 months they changed this to 46% of the original amount. Prior to these changes I had regular access, one per week over night & extra days when on school hols and some long week ends etc- on avg twice per week. Now my ex wife has limited my access to just once per wk to get more money. My son is really upset but she still won't allow more access, I can't afford any more money and the CSA are reviewing the amount and will probably increase it further. It's so unfair and I'm unsure what to do next. Anyone been or going through similar and could advise?
Danny 05/04/2011 at 2:26 pm
My wife and I have been separated since 2004 and we have 14 year old daughter. We never needed legal help or advice as we had an amicable devorce! She had parental responsibility and I could see my daughter any time! The problem is that she has remarried since then and makes all the decisions about our child! She is scaring my daughter by saying that if she is not listening to her she would send her to live with me and she would not be with her step brothers any longer. So now my daughter refuses to come over! I still make an effort and see her after school but apart from giving money ( which her mother constantly asks for more and more) I don't have any other say.
lilo 15/03/2011 at 11:53 pm
My ex and I have a 7yr old whom I never get to see. I am not registered on her birth certificate but do have a DNA test to prove I am her father. Also the mother is saying she is dying of cancer. What rights do I have for access?
Lee 15/03/2011 at 7:45 pm
My ex partner and myself split before my daughther was born. My name is on the birth certificate. She has moved to a different town just 20 miles away but I have been unable to contact her since this move and have not seen my daughter, what can I do?
SeparatedDads 15/03/2011 at 11:45 am
If the birth was registered in England or Wales then as your youngest was born after 1 December 2003 and you jointly registered the birth of the child you do have parental responsibility. This is not the case for your oldest. To get PR you will need to enter into a parental responsibility agreement with the mother or get a parental responsibility order, made by a court. If the birth was registered in Scotland and you were married to the mother when the child was conceived, or any time after that date you will have PR. If you were not married then you will have PR if you are named on the child's birth certificate after 4 May 2006. Hope this helps.
Martyn 15/03/2011 at 10:14 am
Can you help me? My partner and I have split, we have 2 kids aged 7 & 13. My name is on both birth certificates, does this mean I have parental responsibility?

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