Checklist: Agreeing Visitation

The worst thing about being separated from your child is not being able to see them as often as you would like. Your child needs you in their life and it is important that you maintain regular contact with them. Your ex needs to understand the importance of allowing you access and ideally you will be able to come to a Visitation Agreement that you are both happy with. If not, then you will need to enter the legal system and go through the Family Courts. Follow our checklist, make sure you know your rights and then take it step by step to make sure you can see your children.

1. Know Your Rights

If you have parental responsibility then you have every right, both personally and legally, to see your child on a regular basis. To have parental responsibility you must be named on the birth certificate, have been married to the mother when your child was born or have applied for a parental responsibility order (see our article Your Separated Father's Rights for more information).

2. Try to Work it Out Privately

The best way to arrange to see your child is by working out an agreement with their mother. Your ex should understand that you have a right and need to be in your child’s life, and be willing to negotiate. Try to be mature about the process and realise that you both may need to compromise. If you do manage to come to a visitation agreement, you should get it signed by your solicitor to save any future problems.

3. Mediation

If you and your ex cannot come to a visitation agreement on your own, you are going to need to seek some help. Before jumping into the Family Courts it is a good idea to try Mediation. Mediation will help you both communicate better with each other, see the other person’s point of view, and hopefully come to some kind of agreement.

4. Apply For a Contact Order

If your ex is refusing you access or you still can’t come to an agreement, you will need to get a contact order. This is issued by the courts and lays out when you can visit your child. Before issuing a Contact Order the courts will do a report on your situation. Their primary concern is the welfare of the child and they will take into account their wishes, educational needs and your ability to provide for them when they visit.

5. Don’t Do Anything Rash

It can be very frustrating if your ex is not allowing you to see your child or is limiting access. It can be tempting to snatch more time with them or make your point, but the last thing you want to do is anything rash. Although it is an emotional time, try to think rationally and realise that going against a contact order or taking your children away will only count against you in the eyes of the courts.

As a father, you have a right to be involved in your child’s life. If you and your ex cannot come to a visitation agreement alone, then try mediation or move one step further and involve the courts in your bid for access.

The Next Step

Now that you have read through the advice above, you might want to put it into practice. Our Mediation Prep Tool lets you prepare your key points and priorities before mediation. Takes 5 minutes. Try it now →