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Can My Wife Change My Access Arrangements?

By: Chris Nickson - Updated: 19 May 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Access Court Mediation Family Court

Q.

I have been separated since January, and was paying maintenance over and above the CSA calculation through their website. As I work away during the week I was initially allowed access every weekend. In May, my wife requested that she should be allowed access for 'Quality Time' every 3rd weekend, to which I agreed.

Since then, I have had to take a lower paid job, but I am still away during the week and I have now started to pay maintenance at the CSA rate. She now wants to reduce my access to ensure that I will have the children less than 104 nights per year.

Is she allowed to do this or am I better off going to court to gain access, bearing in mind that I cannot have custody of them during the week?

(Mr HM, 3 October 2008)

A.

From the sound of things, you and your wife arranged access between yourselves, and you have voluntarily given more than the CSA recommended amount of Maintenance For Your Child (for one child it’s set at 15% of net income) for as long as possible, and even now you adhere to the CSA guidelines.

Since the access arrangement is apparently between yourselves, then the negotiations are whatever you work out between the two of you, really. What you might well want to do, and should do, is talk to a solicitor about your position. If you and your ex can’t reach an agreement about access, you might want to have solicitors to mediate an agreement between the two of you.

Hopefully that will work, because you should see going to court as a proposal of last resort. It’s costly and time-consuming, and will do little to help relations between you and your ex, which on the surface would seem to have been quite good to this point.

You don’t mention how old your children are, but if you have to go to a court for a Contact Order and access set, their wishes will be taken into account, if they’re old enough to express them – the whole aim of the court is to set what’s best for the children. However, they will take prior access times into account, and the fact that you work away during the week should not matter in the least, since it hasn’t in the past.

You’re not disputing where they should reside, or even that your kids spend one weekend in three with their mother; you simply want to spend as much of your free time as possible with your children.

A court hearing on access will mean that there is a report from the Children and Family Court Advisory. A support service officer will interview you, along with your ex and others, in order to determine that you can meets the needs of the kids when they’re with you and whether they will be safe with you, even though you have almost certainly proved that to be the case in the past. It’s just procedure.

The ideal solution, though, is if you and your ex can resolve this amicably between the two of you.

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Needhelpdad - Your Question:
Me may wife ( soon to be ex) spit 2 years ago and I been have the kids more than 50% of the time but now she want me to have them only 6 nights over two weeks and I want 7 nights over 14 night (50%) like it's been from Jan before that I was having them 5 and 6 nights a week. I just don't know what to do and wear I stand

Our Response:
If and where you cannot agree, then you should consider mediation, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 19-May-17 @ 2:14 PM
Me may wife ( soon to be ex) spit 2 years ago and I been have the kids more than 50% of the time but now she want me to have them only 6 nights over two weeks and I want 7 nights over 14 night (50%) like it's been from Jan before that I was having them 5 and 6 nights a week. I just don't know what to do and wear I stand
Needhelpdad - 19-May-17 @ 8:54 AM
Nick - Your Question:
I think parents need to try and work together and get over there issues. At the end of the day I know fathers are important in child's life however at the end of the day the mothers raising their children majority of the time and this needs to be expected! Meditation would be good as opposed to courts! Solicitors only want your monies whilst who suffers the child. A lot of parent need to try and work together and come to arrangements. People shouldn't have kids unless they are willing to stick together as a family but I think people think having kids will make relationships better it doesn't work! Always make sure ur partner is someone you would marry! Sorry but I'm for the women men walk away to easily they are deadbeats

Our Response:
We agree when you say that trying to work amicably with your ex is much easier all round and beneficial to the kids, than fighting each other. The court always expects couples to have attempted mediation in order to resolve any issues prior to taking the matter to court. However, we do not agree that all mean are deadbeats, the majority are good fathers that want more than anything to take an active and responsible part in their children's lives.
SeparatedDads - 16-Feb-17 @ 12:17 PM
I think parents need to try and work together and get over there issues. At the end of the day I know fathers are important in child's life however at the end of the day the mothers raising their children majority of the time and this needs to be expected! Meditation would be good as opposed to courts! Solicitors only want your monies whilst who suffers the child. A lot of parent need to try and work together and come to arrangements. People shouldn't have kids unless they are willing to stick together as a family but I think people think having kids will make relationships better it doesn't work! Always make sure ur partner is someone you would marry! Sorry but I'm for the women men walk away to easily they are deadbeats
Nick - 15-Feb-17 @ 7:30 PM
jas- Your Question:
I have my 2 girls every wednesday and every other weekend in court it is down as 50/50. my works changed so now can have the girls every wednesday & thursday but when I ask my ex for thursdays she said no ,take me to court.can anyone help me

Our Response:
If your circumstances have changed and you cannot have the kids as per the court order, you are essentially in breach of the court order. Therefore, if your ex is refusing to compromise in any way, you would have to either request flexible working through your company, suggest mediation and if your ex refuses mediation take the matter to court and request a variation. Please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 9-Feb-17 @ 2:26 PM
i have my 2 girls every wednesday and every other weekend in court it is down as 50/50. my works changed so now can have the girls every wednesday & thursday but when i ask my ex for thursdays she said no ,take me to court .can anyone help me
jas - 8-Feb-17 @ 8:49 PM
My son has a non contact order on his ex wife's partner not to be in the presence of my grandchildren, either at her home or elsewhere.. I've just found out that she is Facetiming her partner in front of my GKids,. Is that allowed.Strictly speaking he is not at the house but elsewhere, although not present. Bit of a grey areato me.
jimmymack - 9-Jan-17 @ 10:40 PM
Garthsad - Your Question:
Hi can anyone give me advice as I have moved to the USA and my ex is saying when I come back to visit my boy I can only see him 3 days with me then 3 with her.I want him a week at a time.Is she allowed to do this ?

Our Response:
Your ex is allowed to do this if there is no court order in place giving you specific access to your child. If you dispute her decision, you would have to take the matter to court and the court would decide what it thinks is in your child's best interests.
SeparatedDads - 14-Dec-16 @ 11:24 AM
Hi can anyone give me advice as I have moved to the USA and my ex is saying when I come back to visit my boy I can only see him 3 days with me then 3 with her.I want him a week at a time. Is she allowed to do this ?
Garthsad - 13-Dec-16 @ 6:37 PM
nimrod - Your Question:
Hello.I'm in desperate need of advice.I got divorced from my ex-wife last year, but we never had a formal written agreement regarding access to my son who's just turned 8. (he lives with her in Bolton)The weekly arrangement so far has been that I collect him from school on Tuesdays and then take him to his swimming lessons before dropping him off at his mum's at around 7pm.I also have him on Sunday afternoons, either picking him up just before or just after lunch. Unfortunately I've been late picking him up from school on a few occasions (the last time was on Tuesday, 1 November), and today, Sunday 6 November, I was late picking him up from his mum's. I set off from Middlesbrough (where my current partner lives) at 11.30am, and received a text from my ex at 12.22pm saying: "Are you coming for Oscar today?"At 12.24pm I replied: "Yes. Should be there 1.45pm"At 12.25pm she replied: "Ok"Due to roadworks I was slightly late, so at 1.48pm I sent a message saying: "There in 10."At 1.49pm she sent me this text message: "Don't bother. You've just lost access. See you in court if you want it back."When I turned up at her house just before 2pm, her car wasn't there and there was no answer when I called her phone.My question is this: can she legally deny me access just like that when there was no formal agreement in place? If not, what can I do?Alternatively, if she can, what are my options?I ought to finish by saying that I've been paying £200 maintenance each month, but recently I was made redundant, so can't currently pay it. (last month, October 2016, was the first payment I missed)I understand this is not ideal, but can she still deny me access on these grounds?What can I do??Hope to hear back soon.

Our Response:
Firstly, access and child maintenance are not connected and are two separate issues, meaning just because you cannot pay child maintenance if you have lost your job, it doesn't mean you should lose access. However, if you have a family-based agreement, as specified in the article, as parents you decide the frequency of access between you. Now while her argument wouldn't stand up in court with regards to stopping access because you can't pay child maintenance, the argument that you are frequently late, to an extent would. In turn you would have to justify why you are frequently late and a court will make a decision based upon what it thinks is in your son's best interests and if it were to award a court order, it would be based on certain conditions that you both as parents would have to uphold. These conditions would be decided upon by the court regarding what it thinks is in your child's best interests. If your ex continues to refuse access you should suggest mediation in the first place in order to try and resolve the issue, see link; Mediation: What is it and is it For Me?here. If your ex refuses, then your next step would be to apply to the courts. You may also wish to seek legal advice regarding this.
SeparatedDads - 7-Nov-16 @ 11:26 AM
Hello...I'm in desperate need of advice... I got divorced from my ex-wife last year, but we never had a formal written agreement regarding access to my son who's just turned 8. (he lives with her in Bolton) The weekly arrangement so far has been that I collect him from school on Tuesdays and then take him to his swimming lessons before dropping him off at his mum's at around 7pm. I also have him on Sunday afternoons, either picking him up just before or just after lunch. Unfortunately I've been late picking him up from school on a few occasions (the last time was on Tuesday, 1 November), and today, Sunday 6 November, I was late picking him up from his mum's. I set off from Middlesbrough (where my current partner lives) at 11.30am, and received a text from my ex at 12.22pm saying: "Are you coming for Oscar today?" At 12.24pm I replied: "Yes. Should be there 1.45pm" At 12.25pm she replied: "Ok" Due to roadworks I was slightly late, so at 1.48pm I sent a message saying: "There in 10." At 1.49pm she sent me this text message: "Don't bother. You've just lost access. See you in court if you want it back." When I turned up at her house just before 2pm, her car wasn't there and there was no answer when I called her phone. My question is this: can she legally deny me access just like that when there was no formal agreement in place? If not, what can I do? Alternatively, if she can, what are my options? I ought to finish by saying that I've been paying £200 maintenance each month, but recently I was made redundant, so can't currently pay it. (last month, October 2016, was the first payment I missed) I understand this is not ideal, but can she still deny me access on these grounds? What can I do?? Hope to hear back soon.
nimrod - 6-Nov-16 @ 4:27 PM
Help, please!! This question is about access arrangements. I left my sons mother over 5 years ago and had to move into London due to not be able to afford child maintenance, live close by to my son and travel to work (London). Since we spilt my sons Mother has ignored the access agreements we have and is constantly changing them. At one point I had to complete a 4 hour round trip in public transport for 3 months every time I picked up my son (even though I gave her my old car to assist in travel costs etc). By the time I got back home it would be past 22:00 and he would be fast asleep. She dictates to me where I have to pick him up from and drop him off otherwise she won't let me see him. Just two weeks ago she demanded last minute that I take a £100 round taxi journey to pick my son up from a family event of hers. When I explained that I was waiting at the train station and didn't have that sort of money (id just got married) she said I couldn't see him. It's getting really frustrating now as its been like this for 5 years. The examples I have given are a small selection. I need to go through the courts but do you think it would be possible for the courts to outline when I see him and propose fair travel arrangements, as in I pick him up from hers and she picks him up from mine? I only ask because even if the courts set out access times and dates, based on her behaviour she will no doubt not care about that and put as many barriers up as possible... Please help I feel totally helpless and alone. Every can see how badly she is treating me but no one knows what I can do.
Frustrated Dad - 16-Sep-16 @ 8:19 AM
Marcus - Your Question:
I need help if someone could help me, so me and the mother of my child have a verbal agreement on when I see my child, I have her tuesday wednesday every other weekend I pay her every 1st of the month 145 pound which she saying because we had an argument the other day she will be taking my Tuesday away from me, I have a verbal agreement with csi to pay her but I was thinking if she breaks the agreement we have that I will be putting it in to a account isa I dont wanna take her court but shes leaving me no opinion? Any help please

Our Response:
First of all you need to be aware that paying child maintenance and access agreements have no bearing on each other. It means you still have to pay child maintenance to your ex whether you see your daughter or not. So you need to separate both issues and not use the withdrawal of money as a threat, as you won't win. Therefore, you need to try to resolve your access a different way and mediation may help you here, please see link: Mediation: What is it and is it For Me? here. It means if you cannot resolve this between you, then suggesting mediation is the next step. If your ex refuses and/or you can't agree you via mediation, only then would court be your option. I hope this helps and that you resolve your situation without having to resort to these measures.
SeparatedDads - 29-Jun-16 @ 10:09 AM
I need help if someone could help me, so me and the mother of my child have a verbal agreement on when i see my child, i have her tuesday wednesday every other weekend i pay her every 1st of the month 145 pound which she saying because we had an argument the other day she will be taking my Tuesday away from me, i have a verbal agreement with csi to pay her but i was thinking if she breaks the agreement we have that i will be putting it in to a account isa i dont wanna take her court but shes leaving me no opinion? Any help please
Marcus - 28-Jun-16 @ 6:57 AM
Hi I wonder if anybody can offer me some much needed advice. I have been separated from my wife for 4 months. It appears she has been planning on divorcing me for quite a while so when we split up she was way ahead of the game and I was unprepared. She managed to get me out of the house with a court order and I have had my two daughters age 14 and 15 ever since on a 3 days on 3 days off basis ever since whilst staying at my mums house. I have no contact with my wife only through solicitors. Our legal fees will be at least £80k by the time we are finished!!! Wife refused mediation as she wants to secure a big payout. We are gearing up for the financial settlement but she has hired a top lawyer and I think they are trying their best to fleece me. A consent order was drawn up saying that I would pay the £1200 mortgage every month. It appears she is planning on getting the judge to grant a Mesher order so that she can stay in the house until my youngest reaches 18 or is out of university. I'm not sure if legally it includes university education. My wife has been taking the children to counselling behind my back. I found out about it after they had been to two sessions. She had been telling them to lie to me about going. She is trying to make out the reason for taking them is to help them get over the split. I contacted the counsellor myself and asked if I could be involved. The counsellor has been obstructive and not allowed me to go even to meet her. I know now that the whole thing has been setup. Last week I received a letter from the counsellor saying that she wanted to trial new living arrangements which would change the 3 days on 3 days off arrangement. It's proposed that I just have the children two nights a week and she has them 5. I would get them Sunday afternoon until late Tuesday evening. Sunday is always homework day as will Monday and Tuesday nights so I will have no quality time with them at all. The report is completely biased and basically the counsellor has been put up to this by my wife from day one. I know she is doing this in readiness for going to court so that she can persuade the judge that she needs a bigger financial settlement and also I will have to lay more child maintenance. What has really upset me is that this was all done behind closed doors and she has brainwashed the children into believing this is what they wanted. The children were very happy with the previous arrangement until she took them to counselling. They are scared of going against her as she is a very controlling woman. She is trying to alienate them against me. It's difficult as they are girls and she is really pushing the girly thing with them. I've spoken with the children and they said they preferred being in their own bedrooms. It's breaking me as I am not the guilty party. I was forced out of my own home, I'm paying a huge mortgage and she's trying to come after me for another £800 a month for her income needs. I am taking it to court as
Lovingdadoftwo - 26-Jun-16 @ 9:32 PM
Stu - Your Question:
Hi Can my ex wife keep changing the days I see may daughter? My Daughter is 10 years old I have been to mediation once before and she never turned up so I am going to go for joint custody what are my chances of getting this

Our Response:
If you have no formal court arrangement, then your access arrangements are considered flexible and there is nothing to stop your ex from changing them. However, if you apply through the courts and are awarded access, then your ex will have to obey the order, or you can take the order back to court to have it enforced. It is unlikely the court will award you joint custody, as 'shared care' is usually mutually agreed by the parents and rarely awarded in court. The court will usually nominate one parent as the primary carer and one as the non-resident parent with access rights. The court will always decide what it thinks is in the best interests of your child and consistency and a stable home is considered important, therefore the court would be unlikely to change these arrangments unless necessary. However, if you do get a court order for access, it will put you in a firmer position then a mutually agreed access arrangement that is not working.
SeparatedDads - 1-Jun-16 @ 12:10 PM
Hi Can my ex wife keep changing the days I see may daughter? My Daughter is 10 years old I have been to mediation once before and she never turned up so I am going to go for joint custody what are my chances of getting this
Stu - 31-May-16 @ 4:34 PM
Scot - Your Question:
Bit of advice please. Me and my sons mum split when he was 1. I have had access to him every weekend alternate fri/sat sat/sun for 5 years now-which has been hard. Recently, I have tried to accomplish more time with him, weare both wanting this, me and him. I have pushed this forward to his mum, to keep the arrangements as they are but every 3rd weekend have him for a full weekend. Since the start of the year I have had him twice! I have built a friendship ish with his mum over the years and I don't want to rock the boat! But, my son and I need more quality time together, I mean, alternative weeks are ok, but 1 night and a day isn't much for flesh and blood! I am have joint guardian rights, have payed my way, always been there, but I still feel my hand is forced and feeling a bit of a baby sitter at the moment. Her excuse for a random weekend once in a blue moon is, that she herself and her family, need quality time together with him. 1 night and a day a week and the odd full weekend is enough in her opinion?! - #extremelyfrustrateddad ,please help!

Our Response:
In this case I can only suggest mediation as an alternative option to suggest to your ex if she won't see reason, please see link: Mediation: What is it and is it For Me? here. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 16-May-16 @ 11:05 AM
Bit of advice please.. Me and my sons mum split when he was 1. I have had access to him every weekend alternate fri/sat sat/sun for 5 years now-which has been hard. Recently, I have tried to accomplish more time with him, weare both wanting this, me and him. I have pushed this forward to his mum, to keep the arrangements as they are but every 3rd weekend have him for a full weekend. Since the start of the year I have had him twice! I have built a friendship ish with his mum over the years and I don't want to rock the boat! But, my son and I need more quality time together, I mean, alternative weeks are ok, but 1 night and a day isn't much for flesh and blood! I am have joint guardian rights, have payed my way, always been there, but I still feel my hand is forced and feeling a bit of a baby sitter at the moment. Her excuse for a random weekend once in a blue moon is, that she herself and her family, need quality time together with him. 1 night and a day a week and the odd full weekend is enough in her opinion?! - #extremelyfrustrateddad ,please help!
Scot - 15-May-16 @ 1:24 PM
Tez - Your Question:
I'm writing this on behalf of my son as I'm so worried about him , he works away all week and keeps asking to see his kids at the weekend but she won't let him she says only having them at the weekend is not good enough , she posts awfull things about him on Facebook saying the kids cry all the time because he does not want to see them which is a complete lie , he is worried that if he takes her to court that he will have to give up his job because she says he has to have them though the week as well and the court agrees with her x can they do this

Our Response:
The court will take your son's job into consideration and would not dream of asking him to leave it in order to have access to his children. The court will work around the situation if it thinks that your son's continued relationship with his children is in his children's best interests. I advise that he does not get into any Facebook spats with his ex and keeps the evidence of his ex undermining him should Cafcass get involved.
SeparatedDads - 12-May-16 @ 10:59 AM
I'm writing this on behalf of my son as I'm so worried about him , he works away all week and keeps asking to see his kids at the weekend but she won't let him she says only having them at the weekend is not good enough , she posts awfull things about him on Facebook saying the kids cry all the time because he does not want to see them which is a complete lie , he is worried that if he takes her to court that he will have to give up his job because she says he has to have them though the week as well and the court agrees with her x can they do this
Tez - 11-May-16 @ 3:53 PM
John - Your Question:
Hi, My ex and I have been seperated for 3 years now and divorce is going through. We have an approximate 50 50 split which we arranged amicably (ish). She did the paper work for the divorce and I was entirely happy with her statements as to our childcare arrangements working well etc.I am still in the marital home and she lives close by. Our child is in Year 2. She is now looking at moving about a 30 minute drive away. Whilst she has said she is not planning on changing our child's school I am concerned that she might along with an attempt to change our where our child spends time largely based on her convenience and making sure she gets enough time to see our child once she has felt about it some more. After 3 years of this arrangement working well I don't want to have bust up as I have worked very hard to build an amicable relationship with her but do not believe a move of school or change in child care would be in our child's interests.Does anyone have experience in a similar situation and, should it end in court, know what the courts would consider?

Our Response:
The court would obviously consider why your ex has chosen to move away and whether it thinks any move is in your child's best interests and you would obviously want to argue the opposite. However, the fact the move is only a 30 minute drive away may mean the court may act more leniently towards your ex as it shouldn't really detract with the time you spend with your child and people move for a variety of different reasons; i.e new job, closer to parents etc, all of which can be reasonably justified. If you don't think the move is in your child's best interests, then you would have to have a pretty good reason for not wanting the move to take place, otherwise the courts will see that logistically the move can be easily worked around. Therefore, this may be looked upon as something that may find Mediation more beneficial, please see link: Mediation: What is it and is it For Me? here . Before you apply to court, the court will expect you to have tried Mediation first and the Mediation failed, or you could not come to a mutual agreement, before the courts will let you apply.
SeparatedDads - 9-May-16 @ 11:25 AM
Hi, My ex and I have been seperated for 3 years now and divorce is going through. We have an approximate 50 50 split which we arranged amicably (ish). She did the paper work for the divorce and I was entirely happy with her statements as to our childcare arrangements working well etc... I am still in the marital home and she lives close by. Our child is in Year 2. She is now looking at moving about a 30 minute drive away. Whilst she has said she is not planning on changing our child's school I am concerned that she might along with an attempt to change our where our child spends time largely based on her convenience and making sure she gets enough time to see our child once she has felt about it some more. After 3 years of this arrangement working well I don't want to have bust up as I have worked very hard to build an amicable relationship with her but do not believe a move of school or change in child care would be in our child's interests. Does anyone have experience in a similar situation and, should it end in court, know what the courts would consider?
John - 8-May-16 @ 11:55 AM
Hi I would like some advice, my current partner has had access to his son since birth he is now 7 in the beginning when he was a baby his ex allowed him to see his son for a few hours a day one day a week this eventually turned into one overnight stay a week and as he got older it changed to every weekend from fri to sun. When his son started school his ex changed his access again to every other weekend which we agreed to because she said she felt she didn't see him for long which we felt was understandable because by the time he finished school there's only a few hours before his bedtime so she didn't have chance to plan any days out with him. But recently when it has been our weekend there's been problems sometimes she books trips away on our weekend and we don't want to look the bad ones and say he can't go and other times she says that his son has said he doesn't want to come or he's too upset. Me and my partner have three other children that live with us full time and his son gets on brilliant with them and there has never been any problems with him when he comes he doesn't get upset or anything. I just feel like allowing a 7 yr old to make decisions like that without the understanding of what it does to us all is wrong it upsets us all when he doesn't come and I want to know is there something we can do my partner feels if we go to court it will crippled us financially and she will not allow access until court is resolved and my partner can't face not seeing him for that long please can someone help
K - 28-Apr-16 @ 5:10 PM
@SiGot - the comment below is for you.
ThomO - 23-Sep-15 @ 10:33 AM
You will have to apply through the courts in order to establish some kind of official routine. I too have to suffer this level of instability form an ex that chops and changes when I can see my boy. I've been through it all, her moving and not telling me where she is. You need a C4 form if you need to track he down in order to take it to court, if you can't find her. If the solicitors and court costs are too high, then you represent yourself, many of us are having to take this route. You just have to keep taking it back to court. Don't give up. If you get a contact order from the court and she goes against it, she is in breach. Good luck, keep up the good fight. Just make sure you keep doing it. At least your kid is 11 now and she knows you're fighting for her. My boy is only 4 - I've got a long fight on my hands.
ThomO - 23-Sep-15 @ 10:32 AM
Can anyone please give me some advice . I have had contact with my daughter in contact centres that went ok until my stop taking my daughter so I would go back to court and the courts always took her side even tho I never missed ,then my ex decides I can see my daughter outside a contact centre which went very well until she stopped me seeing my daughter again I did not know where she lived only her mums address I would turn up there and my daughter was not there and I had no money for going back to court .I decide to sell my house which we had brought together her name was still on the deeds so I wrote a letter to her and gave to her mum she said she would take her name off the deeds only if I gave some money and I said fine only if I can see my daughter again which she said yes I have seeing my daughter for a few months now and of cause I gave her money but it was my time to pick my daughter a couple of weeks ago and she was not there my daughter is 11 and I my ex sent me a text saying that she does not want me see my daughter again I am still paying for her each month as well But I don't know what to do now so can some one help
SIGot - 22-Sep-15 @ 9:05 AM
hopeless - Your Question:
HelloI have my children 3 nights a week and this past year I took them to school 4 out of 5 days. This year due to my job (college lecturer) I have a different timetable and I am unable to take them to school now. My ex has threatened to stop me having the kids overnight unless I take them to school. is it the responsibility of the parent who has them over night to take them to school the next day?

Our Response:
There are no rules and regulations regarding who should do what with regards to the shared-care of your children and it should be agreed between yourself. However, there is an argument that if your ex can't do this job i.e because of her work commitments ( and you have previously taken the responsibility on board) then why should it fall back on to your ex to make sure they get to school. However, if she is merely being awkward and refuses to do it when she could feasibly, then this could be considered to be unfair. Therefore, either you should agree it between yourselves, on how to should deliver your children to school. If you can't agree then you could try suggesting mediation, please see link: Mediation: What is it and is it For Me? Link here. Mediation is when two or more parties meet to resolve problems before the matter reaches court and it is most often used in family proceedings. The aim is to put your issue in front of a neutral third party in order to facilitate an agreement. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 27-Aug-15 @ 12:45 PM
Hello I have my children 3 nights a week and this past year i took them to school 4 out of 5 days.This year due to my job (college lecturer) i have a different timetable and I am unable to take them to school now.My ex has threatened to stop me having the kids overnight unless i take them to school.is it the responsibility of the parent who has them over night to take them to school the next day?
hopeless - 26-Aug-15 @ 3:42 PM
Help!! Here goes me and my girlfriend were together for 15 months she fell pregnant in June last year the month after we both lost our jobs (we worked at the same place) we took the company to tribunals. She settled out of court i went all the way but due to the fact she did not turn up to be cross examined i lost. she walked out on me on numerous occasions during our relationship once removing all her belongings from the house we shared and leaving the entire contents of the freezer on the side to defrost. We got back together in December last year and everything was ok. Our son was born in March this year and i thought things between us better than ever. Things began to go wrong again when she settled her tribunal for a small fraction of what she expected to get. she had in the past been subjected to domestic violence to a worrying level. She also suffers from stress anxiety and post traumatic stress disorder due to this. I am no saint and am alcoholic but was in recovery for 5 years before i met her but her petulant and childish behaviour tipped me over the edge and back onto the booze. She would storm out of the house and disappear for hours on end if i rang she would hang up or block my number. Often on a Friday night she would create a row and storm off to her mothers for the weekend this happened more and more toward the end. I returned home one Monday in July i found her and her mother in the house removing her possessions ( she was not on the rent book i am the sole tenant). A row ensued which resulted in her calling the police to report me for drink drivingwhich they did not take any further. I then receive a solicitors letter threatening a non molestation order. She collects her things after it is all arranged and that night i get arrested for the assault and harassment of her. I was cleared of assault but had a harassment information notice given to me by the police. I have had no contact with my son for 7 weeks and have no way of contacting her to ask how he is. I received another solicitors letter yesterday threatening a non-molestation order as i had had enough last Saturday and called her mums land line only for the ex to answer. It also informs me that she will only allow me to see him through a contact centre due to my drinking and my mental health. She also demands £200 pm toward the baby but she is £15,000 in debt and i would loathe giving her that as he would not see any of it. I am sober and back in recovery and have no mental health issues. Trouble is with all this it seems to have come so easy to my ex to implement all this within such a short space of time. Has anyone else been through this i would really appreciate some advice as i cannot afford expensive legal bills??? It seems to me the harassment order has been taken out to make it impossible to contact her and ask about my son. thank you
pdpaul1922 - 15-Aug-15 @ 3:33 PM
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