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How to Get to See My Kids and Help Other Separated Dads

By: Emma Jones - Updated: 3 Oct 2018 | comments*Discuss
 
How To Get To See My Kids And Help Other Separated Dads

Q.

I feel let down buy all the people I contact. My solicitor won't go any further until she gets legal aid and I haven't seen my children for nearly two months. I have been told it could be another month before she can apply for the aid.

Where does a father go from here? We should be able to have responsibility for our children - we are not here JUST to bring them into the world and then leave. We want to play an active role in their development.

I would like to go to college and gain some qualifications that will enable me to help fathers in distress, as we all suffer from being on our own. What are the best steps I can take to help myself and other dads in this situation? Is there something I could learn about in college that would be useful? I really need to get help with my problem with my ex so I can help others in a similar situation and reassure them that they are not alone.

(M.J, 20 April 2009)

A.

As a father you are setting a good example by wanting to fix problems with your ex and be able to see your children regularly. Unfortunately, the legal system can be slow to sort things out and this can be very frustrating for you, especially when you are unable to see your children in the meantime.

Ultimately, it is still the best route to go down in order to secure your Rights To Visitation and to play an active part in your children’s upbringings, but there are other steps you can take. The legal system is there for good reason and does play an important role in securing fathers’ rights, but is not the only solution.

You do not say what your relationship with your ex is like but you may want to consider asking her to attend some Mediation Sessions with you. You both need to work hard to put your children first and Find A Way To Communicate With Each Other. By agreeing to visit a mediator it gives you both a chance to express your feelings and opinions and to try to understand each other a bit better. You are always going to have a relationship because of your children so the smoother this can be, the better.

This may also be the best route for you to go down in order to help other fathers. Most men who are dealing with this kind of situation have a lot of emotions to deal with and could really do with someone to talk to. As someone who has experienced it, you would be in a great position to help them. There are many counselling and mediation courses available, either through your local college, private classes or distance learning that would be a great start.

Another thing to consider would be for you to visit a support group or talk to other men who are dealing with Visitation issues. There are a number of Internet forums and also groups that meet in person. As well as helping other men, you need to feel that you are not alone and it would probably help you to talk to other fathers who have dealt with the same thing. Why not read up about your rights as a separated dad here.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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Hi Im stuck in a horrible situation, my ex partner and I have 2 daughters 12&10, the oldest lives with me and the youngest has just recently moved in with him since this has happened he has refused me any visitation at all, I also have a son 3 with my current partner, my oldest has refused to see her dad any more for fear he won't let her return to me but also my little boy who absolutely adores both of his sisters is missing the younger sister terribly they had an extremely close relationship he keeps asking for her constantly, my ex is completely refusing any kind of visits until he secures a court order for residency. Both of my girls have lived with me full time since our relationship broke downover 8 years ago and I've always allowed contact with their dad and always on his terms.
Michelle - 3-Oct-18 @ 11:14 PM
I’m looking for some advice for my partner. We have been together for over a year and his ex has continually controlled him, what he does with his children when in his care and us. She has harassed me to the point I have involved the police. She has a partner who is a part of their children’s life’s. She has told him over her dead body will she allow him to introduce me. We have plans to live together next year. I am pregnant with his child. I have other children. His mother had a conversation with her and asked why he isn’t allowed to take his children on holiday to France which then turned into the usual over my dead body will Hannah ever meet my children. His mum is as timid as him and replied that after court I will be allowed to see them and that we will be living together. She called him and accused his mother of making a threat. She has now told him she is withholding contact. He usually has them 5 days a week. 4 after school until bedtime and from fri after school until Saturday 7pm. He is obviously devistated. Can she do this? Will court say we can’t live together if she demands that? If it is the only way he can see his children obviously we will just have to adjust our plans and stay living separated. He is not on a high wage. Had very regular contact. Always pays maintenance. It all seems so unfair for him. Please advise waiting 4-6 months for a contact order is too long for his children 7 and 4 to not see him after years of spending more time with him. Is there a court order that can reinstate contact much sooner until the contact order is in place?
Hannah - 30-Sep-18 @ 6:19 AM
Vald - Your Question:
What do I do.? He has promised a car, money to have lessons, help with uni, etc. He has now met a lady, has a mortgage, a new daughter, a new ‘wife’. They are very demanding, he even pays for their friends to go on holiday with them!The needs of his daughter have gone, as a disabled person she has achieved a lot. He Bragg’s about her but he didn’t help one jot. She sees him, the whole time I get text about what he and her are doing.! The last text text says, “ he has bought her a car, a mini, that was for me wasn’t it”? Yes, in 2017 that’s what he promised and help with everything else, now the door is shut. He is so desperate for company in his life, What do I do? Not my business.but my daughter is so defeated?

Our Response:
Much depends upon how old your daughter is, your daughter's father has no obligation to continue supporting his child once she leaves full-time education and you stop being eleigible to claim child benefit. If your daughter is disabled, your only recourse would be to seek legal advice to see whether you could apply to court for further financial support.
SeparatedDads - 7-Sep-18 @ 12:48 PM
What do I do..?He has promised a car, money to have lessons, help with uni, etc.He has now met a lady, has a mortgage, a new daughter, a new ‘wife’.They are very demanding, he even pays for their friends to go on holiday with them! The needs of his daughter have gone, as a disabled person she has achieved a lot.He Bragg’s about her but he didn’t help one jot.She sees him, the whole time I get text about what he and her are doing.!The last text text says, “ he has bought her a car, a mini, that was for me wasn’t it”? Yes, in2017 that’s what he promised and help with everything else,now the door is shut.He is so desperate for company in his life, What do I do?Not my business.......but my daughter is so defeated?
Vald - 5-Sep-18 @ 6:24 PM
I've not seen my daughter for over 3 months with my ex saying "my daughter doesn't want to see me and she wasn't going to make her see me. She's 14 and I put it down to a phase but now after 3 months we are meant to go on holiday in 3 days and my ex says my daughter doesn't want to go. We haven't had a argument or any kind of issue between us. I've put in for a court order but i'm deemed as un urgent. Is there anything that I can do as I know if we spent time together it'd put me and my daughter back on track.
Scotty14 - 22-Aug-18 @ 6:44 PM
Unmarried seperated my x wont let me see my 1yr old daughter. She makes up excuses like she is scared of me. She has a new boyfriend and i no longer care for her all i want is to be inmy daughters life
Eddy - 19-Aug-18 @ 5:24 AM
MrsW - Your Question:
Hi, Ok so my partner of 3 years has 3 children with his ex one now being a working adult and 2 who is 10 and 13. Me and my partner have 1 child and second due in 4 weeks. We will be going solicitor because she wants to much for nothing. The 2 children in question, have always stayed with us 2-3 nights a week that's because they or we ask them if theyd like too. They came here every day after school anf was being picked up by her once she finished work, I would collect the youngest one from school every day and oldest would get a bus here. This is their home too so would eat any food rink any drink play in their rooms on xbox etc. We pay for the boys uniforms and eldest bus pass and of course clothes that stay here and anything they want within reason. My partner was with her for 18 years, they split because he found out she was going behind his back with several men for several years, me and him got together pretty quickly after they split and all I had was abuse and threats etc, well they had a mortgage together she wasn't working nor paying for the mortgage/bills only until they split well he was paying it all for couple months when we was together and stopped. She believes he is not entitled to the house or any monies from the house, she believes its her right to keep the house and he gets nothing from it basically, she even had the nerve to say because his mum and dad also his nan and grandad have houses worth £500k that he doesn't deserve the house he originally paid for because she wont get anything from her parents/family when they die! Well me and her had a row about something she said about my children and few other things now because of that she has stopped us seeing them now only once in the week and every other weekend. But since doing this, she has contacted cms said we have the boys less 1 night a week and their is no other children involved etc. She has threatened in the past to take him through cms but believe she used the calculator and see that what we was paying for was correct & even my partner rang and asked the question and they said yes keep paying what you pay. She has always wanted Dans money and now has stopped us seeing the children and told cms and now they want more money. We have asked several times were have them 50/50 but she has always said no and I so many words said she wants the money as she has bills to pay. When they was together she got him in debt by claiming benefits, credit cards and various other things which he is still paying back now. She is also pregnant with her new fella who has 12 other children to which he doesn't see or pay for and has social services involved, she rang us to say they may want to speak to us about the boys and for us to tell them her boyfriend is fine and basically lie about him, we don't know much about their relationship but have been told by other people who know him and women who have children with him that he's basically scum, he is living their and If im right my pa

Our Response:
Despite all the information you have given, your partner has the option laid out in the link here and here. With regards to the house situation, it is likely a court (if it went to court) will allow your partner's ex to stay in the family home until the youngest child has left full-time education if the mortgage can be paid. At the end of this term a financial split will be calculated dependent upon particular factors.
SeparatedDads - 31-Jul-18 @ 11:14 AM
Hi, Ok so my partner of 3 years has 3 children with his ex one now being a working adult and 2 who is 10 and 13. Me and my partner have 1 child and second due in 4 weeks. We will be going solicitor because she wants to much for nothing. The 2 children in question, have always stayed with us 2-3 nights a week that's because they or we ask them if theyd like too. They came here every day after school anf was being picked up by her once she finished work, I would collect the youngest one from school every day and oldest would get a bus here. This is their home too so would eat any food rink any drink play in their rooms on xbox etc. We pay for the boys uniforms and eldest bus pass and of course clothes that stay here and anything they want within reason. My partner was with her for 18 years, they split because he found out she was going behind his back with several men for several years, me and him got together pretty quickly after they split and all I had was abuse and threats etc, well they had a mortgage together she wasn't working nor paying for the mortgage/bills only until they split well he was paying it all for couple months when we was together and stopped. She believes he is not entitled to the house or any monies from the house, she believes its her right to keep the house and he gets nothing from it basically, she even had the nerve to say because his mum and dad also his nan and grandad have houses worth £500k that he doesn't deserve the house he originally paid for because she wont get anything from her parents/family when they die! Well me and her had a row about something she said about my children and few other things now because of that she has stopped us seeing them now only once in the week and every other weekend. But since doing this, she has contacted cms said we have the boys less 1 night a week and their is no other children involved etc. She has threatened in the past to take him through cms butbelieve she used the calculator and see that what we was paying for was correct & even my partner rang and asked the question and they said yes keep paying what you pay. She has always wanted Dans money and now has stopped us seeing the children and told cms and now they want more money. We have asked several times were have them 50/50 but she has always said no and I so many words said she wants the money as she has bills to pay. When they was together she got him in debt by claiming benefits, credit cards and various other things which he is still paying back now. She is also pregnant with her new fella who has 12 other children to which he doesn't see or pay for and has social services involved, she rang us to say they may want to speak to us about the boys and for us to tell them her boyfriend is fine and basically lie about him, we don't know much about their relationship but have been told by other people who know him and women who have children with him that he's basically scum, he is living their and If im right my pa
MrsW - 30-Jul-18 @ 1:51 PM
Ginge - Your Question:
Im a sixteen year old boy my son is 8 months old my ex never lets me see him she uses him as a weapon then says on social media that my family don’t know what to do with him but we’re the ones making him better treating rashes but she’s acts like we cause them I want to see my son more but she says if I moan about it she will take him away for good and she’s told me sons moving out of the city I live in please help what can I do what’s my rights

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. The link here, will help answer your question. When you split from your partner it is only natural that you will have some very raw emotions and find it difficult to get along with her. However, because you have a child together, it is important that you find a way to communicate. The situation is not only about the two of you but also about the wellbeing of your child and that is what you need to focus on. Please see the link here .
SeparatedDads - 23-Jul-18 @ 2:25 PM
Im a sixteen year old boy my son is 8 months old my ex never lets me see him she uses him as a weapon then says on social media that my family don’t know what to do with him but we’re the ones making him better treating rashes but she’s acts like we cause them I want to see my son more but she says if I moan about it she will take him away for good and she’s told me sons moving out of the city I live in please help what can I do what’s my rights
Ginge - 22-Jul-18 @ 11:54 PM
Craiggy - Your Question:
Hi I am looking for some advice on what to do next my ex partner won’t let me see my son not at all not any of my family members are aloud to see him either where do I start please somebody

Our Response:
The link here , should help you answer your question.
SeparatedDads - 9-Jul-18 @ 3:32 PM
Hi I am looking for some advice on what to do next my ex partner won’t let me see my son not at all not any of my family members are aloud to see him either where do I start please somebody
Craiggy - 6-Jul-18 @ 4:01 PM
Ss - Your Question:
Hi I have 2 children to an unamarried woman. She has said I cannot have members of my family around thec2 children. I have been seeing the children on her terms which change when see feels like. She has written her own agreements in which I have no say. I am now sick to death of her and her tantrums. Only today she said to the children in front of me who are 1 and 2 say goodbye to your dad as you will not see him anymore. I have no option but to go to court. Can you help

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. The article here and here should help you answer your question regarding what your options are.
SeparatedDads - 1-Jun-18 @ 12:41 PM
Hi i have 2 children to an unamarried woman. She has said i cannot have members of my family around thec2 children. I have been seeing the children on her terms which change when see feels like. She has written her own agreements in which i have no say. I am now sick to death of her and her tantrums. Only today she said to the children in front of me who are 1 and 2 say goodbye to your dad as you will not see him anymore. I have no option but to go to court. Can you help
Ss - 29-May-18 @ 11:50 PM
James Henry - Your Question:
Hi I was wondering if any one can guide me in the right direction the mother of my children has being using my children as weapons for a while now only allowing me to see them on her terms with no regular contact, I am not allowed to call them unless she decides I can I have had verbal abuse also family members of here have broken into my property with intent to harm me over her silly behaviour. I am currently unemployed as I suffer with ptsd and had a brake down because of stress. I am having to move home as I feel unsafe and receive regular threats I am not sure it I can get help with legal aid or how to afford the cost but I really need something in place so I can see my children if any one can offer advice please do.

Our Response:
Please see the link: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, here , which shows you the process you would need to go through. Also the gov.uk link here will help answer your question. You would not be able to secure Legal Aid, is it does not exist any more except in cases of proven domestic violence. However, as many fathers do, you can self-litigate, please see link here . This will save you on legal fees. If you are on a low income, you can also get a reduction in court fees, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 19-Apr-18 @ 11:37 AM
Hi i was wondering if any one can guide me in the right direction the mother of my children has being using my children as weapons for a while now only allowing me to see them on her terms with no regular contact, I am not allowed to call them unless she decides I can I have had verbal abuse also family members of here have broken into my property with intent to harm me over her silly behaviour. I am currently unemployed as I suffer with ptsd and had a brake down because of stress. I am having to move home as I feel unsafe and receive regular threats I am not sure it I can get help with legal aid or how to afford the cost but I really need something in place so I can see my children if any one can offer advice please do.
James Henry - 18-Apr-18 @ 7:55 PM
rp - Your Question:
Hi can any1 help with advice basically I split up from my ex 6 years ago and she has been refusing to let me see my 4 sons on and off since I havnt seen now for over 2 years an have found out she has moved address can I still apply to court to see my sons even though there has been a long period of time since I have seen them ? and what if I dont know her current address many thanks

Our Response:
Yes, you can apply at any time to see your children, please see link here . You would also have to apply for a C4 form which is an application for an order for disclosure of a child’s whereabouts. This means the courts can put a trace on your children to allow you to bring the matter to court to apply for access. Or you may wish to use a PI (which may be quicker). As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the children in question. The court will always put the children’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
SeparatedDads - 3-Apr-18 @ 11:45 AM
hi can any1 help with advice basically i split up from my ex 6 years ago and she has been refusing to let me see my 4 sonson and off since i havnt seen now for over 2 years an have found out she has movedaddress can i still apply to court to see my sons even though there has been a long period of time since i have seen them ? and what if i dont know her current address many thanks
rp - 2-Apr-18 @ 3:55 PM
Martinb - Your Question:
Hi I hava a daughter whos 7 now I was seperated from me ex due to she cheated on me, so my daughter hasnt seen me for 2 years and my head was everywhere with what happened I feel the need I shoukd be in her life but the ex is being complicated and wont let me see her unless it goes through proper channels and I dont want that. what can I do? Please help. What rights do I have as a father as im on birth certificate?

Our Response:
If your ex refuses, then you have no option but to suggest mediation and if she refuses apply to court. You should not fear applying to court, as the court wants non-resident parents to have contact with their children and it will try to bring that about wherever it can. If you cannot afford legal representation, you can self-litigate, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 27-Mar-18 @ 3:00 PM
Hi i hava a daughter whos 7 now i was seperated from me ex due to she cheated on me, so my daughter hasnt seen me for 2 years and my head was everywhere with what happened i feel the need i shoukd be in her life but the ex is being complicated and wont let me see her unless it goes through proper channels and i dont want that.. what can i do? Please help. What rights do i have as a father as im on birth certificate?
Martinb - 27-Mar-18 @ 2:33 PM
Fish- Your Question:
My husband has always seen his 7yo son and paid for him , at the start of the year he broke his hand and has been off work only getting £89 a week , he spoke to his x and they agreed when he went back to work he would pay what he owed, now 8 weeks on because he refuses to pay what he owes in 1-2 lumps sums she has stopped him from seeing him till it’s all paid , we just don’t have the money I have 2 children of my own to support , it’s gonna take weeks to pay off as I only work part time as my son is disabled, she doesn’t care what she tells her son she is actually blaming his dad , he has never refused to pay and I will make sure everything is payed what is owed , my question is what’s the best way to stop her from stopping him from seeing him again when she feels like it , he is on the birth certificate they was not married but when they split they had a verbal agreement and that’s all ,

Our Response:
Child maintenance and child access are two different issues and not linked. It means whether a non-resident parent sees their children or not, they are still required to pay child maintenance. Likewise, if a parent cannot pay child maintenance access should not be stopped. A court would not agree to your husband's ex using the children as a bribe for money. Therefore, your husband may wish to take the advice in the link here to request that access is reinstated immediately. If his ex refuses, then he should consider mediation, then as a last resort court.
SeparatedDads - 19-Mar-18 @ 2:01 PM
My husband has always seen his 7yo son and paid for him , at the start of the year he broke his hand and has been off work only getting £89 a week , he spoke to his x and they agreed when he went back to work he would pay what he owed, now 8 weeks on because he refuses to pay what he owes in 1-2 lumps sums she has stopped him from seeing him till it’s all paid , we just don’t have the money I have 2 children of my own to support , it’s gonna take weeks to pay off as I only work part time as my son is disabled, she doesn’t care what she tells her son she is actually blaming his dad , he has never refused to pay and I will make sure everything is payed what is owed , my question is what’s the best way to stop her from stoppinghim from seeing him again when she feels like it , he is on the birth certificate they was not married but when they split they had a verbal agreement and that’s all ,
Fish - 17-Mar-18 @ 10:36 PM
I had a phone call off my ex partner saying social services have been in contact with her as they have had 2 allegations from someone that im a frequent drug user? (Which im not) and social services have advised my ex not to let me see my daughter? What happens next? How do i get to see my daughter again? And what will social services say/do about these allegations?
Bailey - 9-Mar-18 @ 9:20 PM
Jonny - Your Question:
Hi I was a full time dad to my 2 yo son and 2 step children after a disagreement about sorting the boy's bedroom I was locked out of the house and told that she thinks we need a break, were do I stand about getting access or 50/50 custody, surely she don't have the right to just lock me out and not talking to arrange contact. It can't be right from being the person raising the child from day 1 to this. Please help. Thank you

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. I think the issue first is to establish whether this arrangement is going to be a long term one. If so, it is likely your partner/wife by keeping hold of the children is currently the primary carer of the children, with you being the non-resident parent. The primary carer looks after the children on a day-to-day basis, the non-resident parent has access. If you wish to challenge this, then your options are to sit down with your partner/wife and attempt to discuss how to split the parenting of your children i.e whether the children live with you or her, whether shared-care is an option, and how your stepchildren will feature in this arrangement. If you cannot agree, then mediation is the next option to consider, please see link here. Court is always seen as the last resort. Therefore, trying to sort this out between you rationally and based on what you both think is in the best interests of the children is your best option and the court's preferred option. Court can be very stressful, so if you can have an amicable relationship with your ex where both of you try to sort such matters out together, this will benefit your family as a whole. Please see link here. Hopefully, it will not come to this and your situation will resolve itself soon.
SeparatedDads - 8-Mar-18 @ 10:13 AM
Hi I was a full time dad to my 2 yo son and 2 step children after a disagreement about sorting the boy's bedroom I was locked out of the house and told that she thinks we need a break, were do I stand about getting access or 50/50 custody, surely she don't have the right to just lock me out and not talking to arrange contact. It can't be right from being the person raising the child from day 1 to this. Please help. Thank you
Jonny - 7-Mar-18 @ 3:13 PM
Mark p- Your Question:
I need help! I want to see my 4 year old daughter but my ex wont let me! Been apart for over a year and ive met someone else, shes now 12 and half weeks pregnant and now my ex wont let me see my daughter unless I get a dna test on my unborn child! Or if I sign a agreement saying I wont ever let my daughter near my unborn child or tell her about her ?!

Our Response:
Your ex has no right to request this from you on either count. Therefore, you should take the advice of the article, here and here . If you have had access to date, then a court is more than likely to reinstate access. However, a solicitor's letter outlining your rights and a request for mediation to sort out your issues will hopefully work. If not, you will have the option to take the matter to court. If you cannot afford legal representation, you can self-litigate.
SeparatedDads - 23-Feb-18 @ 9:35 AM
I need help! I want to see my 4 year old daughter but my ex wont let me! Been apart for over a year and ive met someone else, shes now 12 and half weeks pregnant and now my ex wont let me see my daughter unless i get a dna test on my unborn child! Or if i sign a agreement saying i wont ever let my daughter near my unborn child or tell her about her ?!
Mark p - 22-Feb-18 @ 7:15 PM
Cec - Your Question:
Hello, when I (young )I had a family 2plus kiddies dog living the dream.well it was my x dream not mine.i longed for excitement dreamed of money and wanted it so bad I was prepared to sell my soul( literally).well the money came quick and fast but with the money came lies and I mean life changing lies and all the people who new me don’t no me anymore they say it’s the drugs it’s mental disorder it’s because he lost the love of his life and kids.but know one understands or ever will.i have new friends and family now and that’s the way it is and I can’t change that I tried big mistake I am owned I am (committed to my new life.)i guess My child from my first wife will grow to learn the truth about me in time and she will hate me forever be ashamed to have a biofather like me.all I can say is sorry and that I did (love you ).and if you went through any pain with my absence and have harbouring hate for me.rest a sure I will a (lonely sad death) with not a single soul at my funeral.i told my x to live (sleeping dogs lie)don’t go digging for bones because you won’t like what you find.wink wink.

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear of your circumstances. However, could you please refrain from posting lots of posts to this site as many of them don't make sense. I have had to delete several today alone. In your circumstances, if you cannot let go of the separation and you are finding life difficult being without your kids, I suggest you go to visit your GP who will be able to offer some counselling so you can talk through your problems. Likewise, you may wish to seek help from the likes of Families Need Fathers or another group that can help support you through these difficult times. By bombarding this page with your comments, you are taking up space and stopping others who may wish to also ask some valid questions.
SeparatedDads - 8-Feb-18 @ 2:27 PM
Pgl - Your Question:
Hello there I was looking for advise me and my ex wife split up 5 months after getting married November 2013 was when we got married after being together for 11 years we have 2 daughters ages 12-9. I met someone in 2015 and got a flat together and was having my daughters every 2 weeks for the weekend but when me and my ex girlfriend split up in March 2017 her and my ex wife teamed up and I haven't seen my daughters since. I'm no angel I got caught up in fraud and I'm disgusted with that but I have got the help needed as I was suffering chronic depression that changed me as a person. My ex wife now refuses for me to talk to my daughters or see them apparently they hate me but I refuse to belive that I was a devoted father and have taken her to court but she moved address and I haven't got her new one so I provided the courts with her work address and mobile full name last known address etc. I miss my daughters like crazy but it is looking like she has turned them completely against me. Where does that leave me when it does go to court?? Regards

Our Response:
We cannot comment on specific cases, as with every court order, the court will decide upon what it thinks is in your children's best interests. The fact you may have had a criminal record, does not mean you are a bad father to your children. A judge will treat these issues separately and take into account your own reasoning. If the matter goes to court, then Cafcass are likely to get involved, please see link here. If you do not know the whereabouts of your ex, then you can fill in a C4 form, which is an application for an order for disclosure of a child's whereabouts. This will allow the courts to put a trace on your children to allow you to bring the matter to court. Also, if your elder daughter is 12, she will be consulted whether she wishes to see you or not.
SeparatedDads - 8-Feb-18 @ 11:09 AM
Hello ,my name is Cecil Thompson.when I (young )I had a family 2plus kiddies dogliving the dream .well it was my x dream not mine .i longed for excitement dreamed of money and wanted it so bad I was prepared to sell my soul( literally).well the money came quick and fast but with the money came lies and I mean life changing lies and all the people who new me don’t no me anymore they say it’s the drugs it’s mental disorder it’s because he lost the love of his life and kids .but know one understands or ever will .i have new friends and family now and that’s the way it is and I can’t change that I tried big mistake I am owned I am (committed to my new life .)i guess My child from my first wife will grow to learn the truth about me in time and she will hate me forever be ashamed to have a biofather like me .all I can say is sorry and that I did (love you ).and if you went through any pain with my absence and have harbouring hate for me .rest a sure I will a (lonely sad death) with not a single soul at my funeral .i told my x to live (sleeping dogs lie)don’t go digging for bones because you won’t like what you find.wink wink.
Cec - 7-Feb-18 @ 10:01 PM
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