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How to Get to See My Kids and Help Other Separated Dads

By: Emma Jones - Updated: 22 Jan 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
How To Get To See My Kids And Help Other Separated Dads

Q.

I feel let down buy all the people I contact. My solicitor won't go any further until she gets legal aid and I haven't seen my children for nearly two months. I have been told it could be another month before she can apply for the aid.

Where does a father go from here? We should be able to have responsibility for our children - we are not here JUST to bring them into the world and then leave. We want to play an active role in their development.

I would like to go to college and gain some qualifications that will enable me to help fathers in distress, as we all suffer from being on our own. What are the best steps I can take to help myself and other dads in this situation? Is there something I could learn about in college that would be useful? I really need to get help with my problem with my ex so I can help others in a similar situation and reassure them that they are not alone.

(M.J, 20 April 2009)

A.

As a father you are setting a good example by wanting to fix problems with your ex and be able to see your children regularly. Unfortunately, the legal system can be slow to sort things out and this can be very frustrating for you, especially when you are unable to see your children in the meantime.

Ultimately, it is still the best route to go down in order to secure your Rights To Visitation and to play an active part in your children’s upbringings, but there are other steps you can take. The legal system is there for good reason and does play an important role in securing fathers’ rights, but is not the only solution.

You do not say what your relationship with your ex is like but you may want to consider asking her to attend some Mediation Sessions with you. You both need to work hard to put your children first and Find A Way To Communicate With Each Other. By agreeing to visit a mediator it gives you both a chance to express your feelings and opinions and to try to understand each other a bit better. You are always going to have a relationship because of your children so the smoother this can be, the better.

This may also be the best route for you to go down in order to help other fathers. Most men who are dealing with this kind of situation have a lot of emotions to deal with and could really do with someone to talk to. As someone who has experienced it, you would be in a great position to help them. There are many counselling and mediation courses available, either through your local college, private classes or distance learning that would be a great start.

Another thing to consider would be for you to visit a support group or talk to other men who are dealing with Visitation issues. There are a number of Internet forums and also groups that meet in person. As well as helping other men, you need to feel that you are not alone and it would probably help you to talk to other fathers who have dealt with the same thing. Why not read up about your rights as a separated dad here.

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The Separated Dads Forum is a place where you can discuss relevant issues and concerns including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or just have a general chat with other dads.

Please help us launch it and make it a great resource for dads going through difficult times. We hope to see you on the Forum soon....

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CMatth - Your Question:
Hi, I need any help that anyone can give, I have 3 children with my ex wife, boys aged 17, 13 and 8. we share joint custody and I pay on time every week maintenance into her bank account. MY ex wife considers the 8 year old boy to still be the baby, she constantly calls him this and I feel she also mollycoddles him. Myself and my wife bought bikes for the 2 youngest and my stepson who's 14 for Christmas, we let my stepson and 13 year old son go where they wish on their bikes, however we let my 8 year old, under our supervision, ride his bike along a cycle path to the sea front near our house. After a few occasions where he knew we were watching him, he asked to go out on his own along the route that he had taken, we allowed him to and told him that we would trust him to go on his own, what he didn't know was that we would be keeping a eye on him out of his sight so that he thought he was alone, yet all the time we could see him. it was 1pm, he had on a helmet on, a bright jacket and his bike had lights on, we watched him across the one road he would have to cross to get to the cycle path. This cycle path is not anywhere near any roads. after dropping the boys back to their mum, she has refused to allow the 8 year old to come near me as she feels that I have put his safety at risk by allowing him to go out on his mountain bike, yet she is allowing my 13 year old to come over as normal, when I picked them up on Friday, she locked her front door and would not let me even speak to my 8 year old and this evening when I dropped my 13 year back, she again refused me access to my 8 year son. What I need to know is does she have any legal right to stop access when I have not done anything wrong, I have joint custody, have never missed any child maintenance payments and also have never missed any of my weekends that I am due to have the children.

Our Response:
Hopefully, this will blow over naturally as your ex's anger subsides. Plus, your eight-year-old will invariably want to see you and wonder why he is being punished, especially if the older siblings are allowed. However, if your ex decides to withhold access again, then I can only suggest you seek legal advice about taking the matter to either mediation or via court, please see link here. Sometimes a solicitor's letter outlining your rights may be suffice to get things back on track. If not, you would have to take the matter further.
SeparatedDads - 23-Jan-17 @ 2:32 PM
Hi, i need any help that anyone can give, I have 3 children with my ex wife, boys aged 17, 13 and 8. we share joint custody and I pay on time every week maintenance into her bank account. MY ex wife considers the 8 year old boy to still be the baby, she constantly calls him this and I feel she also mollycoddles him. Myself and my wife bought bikes for the 2 youngest and my stepson who's 14 for Christmas, we let my stepson and 13 year old son go where they wish on their bikes, however we let my 8 year old, under our supervision, ride his bike along a cycle path to the sea front near our house. After a few occasions where he knew we were watching him, he asked to go out on his own along the route that he had taken, we allowed him to and told him that we would trust him to go on his own, what he didn't know was that we would be keeping a eye on him out of his sight so that he thought he was alone, yet all the time we could see him. it was 1pm, he had on a helmet on, a bright jacket and his bike had lights on, we watched him across the one road he would have to cross to get to the cycle path. This cycle path is not anywhere near any roads. after dropping the boys back to their mum, she has refused to allow the 8 year old to come near me as she feels that I have put his safety at risk by allowing him to go out on his mountain bike,yet she is allowing my 13 year old to come over as normal, when I picked them up on Friday, she locked her front door and would not let me even speak to my 8 year old and this evening when I dropped my 13 year back, she again refused me access to my 8 year son. What I need to know is does she have any legal right to stop access when I have not done anything wrong, I have joint custody, have never missed any child maintenance payments and also have never missed any of my weekends that I am due to have the children.
CMatth - 22-Jan-17 @ 7:06 PM
Matt - Your Question:
HelloMy son is 5 and a half.My ex girlfriend is on drugs with her new partner.She contacted the CSA who wrote to me and I called them back straight away with all the information they requested.She has refused me access to see my son because of a maintainance issue. if the CSA are taking money from me then I can't afford to send her money that was agreed and pay twice. my son is suffering and I need a bit of help please. disgusting

Our Response:
Child maintenance and child access have no bearing on each other, meaning just because there is a child maintenance issue you should not be stopped from seeing your son. Please see link: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, here which will advise further. I hope you manage to resolve this issue soon.
SeparatedDads - 10-Jan-17 @ 12:49 PM
Hello My son is 5 and a half. My ex girlfriend is on drugs with her new partner. She contacted the CSA who wrote to me and I called them back straight away with all the information they requested. She has refused me access to see my son because of a maintainance issue .. if the CSA are taking money from me then I can't afford to send her money that was agreed and pay twice .. my son is suffering and I need a bit of help please .. disgusting
Matt - 9-Jan-17 @ 6:52 PM
Lynzy - Your Question:
Advise needed please. We have a constant battle with my fiancè ex girlfriend. They have a son together and we see him 1 to 2 nights a week. When she allows us. He pays his maintenance every week. However he recently became redundant and therefore didn have the income to pay his maintenance let alone bills. She is saying he needs to back date it but how can he when he wasnt earning an income. We ourselves have 2 children and have been on the Gov website which states now our second child is here her maintenance will go down. Is this correct? They made a maintenance agreement between themselves and he has never broken it only when he wasnt working and paid her £1 a week to keep her bank details for when he was working again. She is abusive and a nasty person in general. She stops us seeing him all the time more so when my fiancè is ou of work because she doesnt get money. Do we have any rights to have him stay with us longer periods of time as my fiance is on the birth certificate?

Our Response:
Firstly, child maintenance and whether your fiancè can see his child are not connected (meaning his ex cannot use the fact your partner is not paying child maintenance to stop access). If this is the case, your fiancè can apply for a C100 contact order through the courts. With regards to whether your fiancè should be paying child maintenance; if he was paying child maintenance through Child Maintenance Services, then the answer would be no, as child maintenance is based upon the non-resident parent's earnings and if he is no longer earning, then he would be seen as exempt. However, if he has a family-based arrangement then it would be up to your fiancè and his ex to decide between them. When your fiancè was earning and if he paid through the CMS, then your second child would be taken into consideration and payments adjusted accordingly. The best way to see what your fiancè should be paying (or should be paying if he was earning) is via the CMS calculator here. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 4-Jan-17 @ 11:11 AM
Advise needed please. We have a constant battle with my fiancè ex girlfriend. They have a son together and we see him 1 to 2 nights a week. When she allows us. He pays his maintenance every week. However he recently became redundant and therefore didn have the income to pay his maintenance let alone bills. She is saying he needs to back date it but how can he when he wasnt earning an income. We ourselves have 2 children and have been on the Gov website which states now our second child is here her maintenance will go down. Is this correct? They made a maintenance agreement between themselves and he has never broken it only when he wasnt working and paid her £1 a week to keep her bank details for when he was working again. She is abusive and a nasty person in general. She stops us seeing him all the time more so when my fiancè is ou of work because she doesnt get money. Do we have any rights to have him stay with us longer periods of time as my fiance is on the birth certificate?
Lynzy - 3-Jan-17 @ 12:46 PM
BB - Your Question:
Please I need help, I have not seen my daughter over 2 years. My ex-wife took my daughter away and I never heard from them. I could not do anything because I had to leave the country because my visa expired. I filed for divorce back in the country we got married and got divorced. I am back in the uk now with my new partner and I do want to know the steps to take to get rights to see my daughter.I was able to trace where she lives now but I want to know the necessary steps to take so I dont lose both ways.PLEASE HELP!!!!

Our Response:
You would have to apply to the courts for a C100 contact order, please see link here . If you cannot trace your children, you can also fill in a C4 form which is an application for an order for disclosure of a child's whereabouts and the courts will put a trace on your children, so you can apply for access.
SeparatedDads - 14-Dec-16 @ 2:15 PM
aud- Your Question:
Hi My partner has 2 girls from his relationship prior to me, she hates me as blames me for relationship breakdown even though it was over before we got together, my partner initially could see his kids whenever he wanted, now she us stopping him unless he ends it with me or very least I am kept away from his kids, which will be difficult soon as moving in together as he currently stays with his mum and dad, I am good person, good job with a child of my own, she is also harassing me at work and spreading gossip about me around the town I work in which is where she stays, my partner is withholding the £100 plus he normally gives her per month and putting aside until he gets to see his kids again.Any advice on how we go forward would be great?

Our Response:
If your partner's ex is denying him access, then he should firstly suggest mediation to his ex in order to try and resolve the matter informally and if she refuses, your partner would have to apply to court via a C100 contact form, please see gov.uk link here. In addition he could bolt on a Specific Issue Order, please see link here. This would address the issue of his ex refusing you contact with your partner's children. The court will always decide what it thinks is in the best interests of the children and if there is no concrete reason why both he or you should be denied contact to his children, then the court will award him the order which his ex would have to adhere to. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 13-Dec-16 @ 11:11 AM
Hi My partner has 2 girls from his relationship prior to me, she hates me as blames me for relationship breakdown even though it was over before we got together, my partner initially could see his kids wheneverhe wanted, now she us stopping him unless he ends it with me or very least I am kept away from his kids, which will be difficult soon as moving in together as he currently stays with his mum and dad, I am good person, good job with a child of my own, she is also harassing me at work and spreading gossip about me around the town I work in which is where she stays, my partner is withholding the £100 plus he normally gives her per month and putting aside until he gets to see his kids again. Any advice on how we go forward would be great?
aud - 12-Dec-16 @ 11:08 AM
Please i need help, i have not seen my daughter over 2 years. My ex-wife took my daughter away and i never heard from them. I could not do anything because i had to leave the country because my visa expired. I filed for divorce back in the country we got married and got divorced. i am back in the uk now with my new partner and i do want to know the steps to take to get rights to see my daughter. I was able to trace where she lives now but i want to know the necessary steps to take so i dont lose both ways. PLEASE HELP!!!!
BB - 9-Dec-16 @ 6:58 PM
Concerned.parent - Your Question:
Hi, I'm looking for a little advice please. My husband has an 11 year old daughter from a previous relationship who he has not seen or spoke to for almost 3 years. Due to financial difficulties (his daughter living a distance away) he was only able to see his daughter approx 10 times during 2012-2013. Previous to this, following their split when the child was 1, he had contact with his daughter every other weekend. At this time he was financially stable with a car. In early 2014 he got a car and tried to make arrangements to have regular contact with his daughter. Unfortunately he was advised his daughter doesnt want to see him and refused to speak to him on the phone. We tried mediation in October 2014 but this was unsuccessful as his daughter did not want to attend. Almost 3 years since he last spoke to her she is still adamant she doesn't want him, our 6 year old son or any of his family in her life. His ex partner always made contact as difficult as she could, especially as she would refuse to bring their daughter to her father (even offering to pay fuel) or bring her to our house on the train. Obviously their relationship was deteriorating and he hoped this would all change when he had transport. She doesn't respond to emails or letters and he isn't allowed any photos of her. She makes sure she still takes £180 a month in maintenance though! Please please can anyone help. If we take her to court will they deny his access if his daughter says she doesn't want to see him?

Our Response:
I'm afraid a court will take the opinion of an 11-year-old on board if his daughter says she does not wish to see your husband. Also, child access and child maintenance have no bearing on each other, meaning your husband may not have access but he is still legally responsible for supporting his child until she finishes education.
SeparatedDads - 16-Nov-16 @ 12:09 PM
Hi, I'm looking for a little advice please. My husband has an 11 year old daughter from a previous relationship who he has not seen or spoke to for almost 3 years. Due to financial difficulties (his daughter living a distance away) he was only able to see his daughter approx 10 times during 2012-2013. Previous to this, following their split when the child was 1, he had contact with his daughter every other weekend. At this time he was financially stable with a car. In early 2014 he got a car and tried to make arrangements to have regular contact with his daughter. Unfortunately he was advised his daughter doesnt want to see him and refused to speak to him on the phone. We tried mediation in October 2014 but this was unsuccessful as his daughter did not want to attend. Almost 3 years since he last spoke to her she is still adamant she doesn't want him, our 6 year old son or any of his family in her life. His ex partner always made contact as difficult as she could, especially as she would refuse to bring their daughter to her father (even offering to pay fuel) or bring her to our house on the train. Obviously their relationship was deteriorating and he hoped this would all change when he had transport. She doesn't respond to emails or letters and he isn't allowed any photos of her. She makes sure she still takes £180 a month in maintenance though! Please please can anyone help. If we take her to court will they deny his access if his daughter says she doesn't want to see him?
Concerned.parent - 15-Nov-16 @ 1:45 PM
tonytwist - Your Question:
Good afternoon,I am the non-custodial parent of a 10 year old girl and I have been divorced for three years. My daughter spends every other weekend with me as well as three weeks during the summer break. Holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas are split evenly between her mother and I. This arrangement is not something I was content with but I reluctantly agreed to it at the time so that I could see my daughter. I had fallen into a deep depression when my marriage fell apart and my ex-wife withheld my daughter from me until I signed the agreement on her terms. This is something I've regretted for the last three years.I would like to have the agreement amended such that I can have more time with my daughter. Specifically in the form of a quick phone call mid week leading up to the weekend that she spends with her mother as well as splitting the summer break equally between her mother and I. I have tried to engage my ex-wife in discussion about these proposed changes in the past but was told it would disrupt my daughter's "routine". This was just her way of saying no. I miss my daughter immensely and am not sure where to go from hereon out. I don't have the money that it would cost for an appeal and she has refused mediation. What course of action can I take next?

Our Response:
If you are based in the UK, then if the agreement was made through mediation, then you would have to suggest mediation again, or apply through the courts for extra access to your daughter. However, this can be emotionally stressful and might possibly upset the current arrangement, until the matter was decided in court. If your original access arrangement was decided through a court order, you would have to give specific reasons in order to take the matter back to court to apply for a variation. If this is a route you may wish to pursue, I suggest you seek legal advice. Once your daughter reaches the age of 11, her own opinion will be considered more seriously, if the matter goes to court. However, the access you have currently is considered the 'norm' - so court may be too extreme a leap, especially as it could backfire. If you are based outside the UK, then family law is different in each country and we only have knowledge of UK-based family law. I'm afraid, I haven't really given you much of an answer, but there isn't really one - as although you feel the access isn't enough, it is not as though your ex is denying you reasonable contact. Therefore, you would have to weigh up whether it is worth the possible emotional upset, yourself.
SeparatedDads - 10-Nov-16 @ 2:10 PM
Good afternoon, I am the non-custodial parent of a 10 year old girl and I have been divorced for three years. My daughter spends every other weekend with me as well as three weeks during the summer break. Holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas are split evenly between her mother and I. This arrangement is not something I was content with but I reluctantly agreed to it at the time so that I could see my daughter. I had fallen into a deep depression when my marriage fell apart and my ex-wife withheld my daughter from me until I signed the agreement on her terms. This is something I've regretted for the last three years. I would like to have the agreement amended such that I can have more time with my daughter. Specifically in the form of a quick phone call mid week leading up to the weekend that she spends with her mother as well as splitting the summer break equally between her mother and I. I have tried to engage my ex-wife in discussion about these proposed changes in the past but was told it would disrupt my daughter's "routine". This was just her way of saying no. I miss my daughter immensely and am not sure where to go from hereon out. I don't have the money that it would cost for an appeal and she has refused mediation. What course of action can I take next?
tonytwist - 9-Nov-16 @ 8:17 PM
Rach- Your Question:
Hi all I'd love some advice please. I'm currently fighting with my ex to get him to actually see our children. He broke up with me 4 months ago completely out of the blue, I've been through all the motions, crying frantic texts begging pleading etc. He still hasn't seen out children every time I ask there is some different excuse, got plans work ect. He thinks it's perfectly acceptable to send 1 message a week to ask how they are (he lives 5mins away) I sometimes may go a little crazy when he sends these messages but seriously who can blame me, I had this perfect life with my partner and 3 children then boom he's gone. I'm certain there is no one else involved. He does have some health worried which he is getting treatment for. Please help I don't know what to do. I would love to resolve this whole situation with him and be a family again because despite all he has put me and my kids through I love him. Half of the time he ignores the messages I send to him. Do I start treating him the same and ignor him and let him really see what he's missing, what's he's likely to loose? I know that may come across as childish but I'm honestly at my wits end. I've tried been nice, been mean I've even told him to bog off and he can't see the kids to which he responded that he wants to see the kids and will start seeing them, that's was 3 weeks ago and he's still not seen them or made any arrangements to see them. Would love a fathers advice on this one.

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. However, we can give you no real answer as every person reacts and responds to situations differently. While I can understand your frustration, it may be that he is sitting back and waiting until you calm down a little as if he approaches you he doesn't know which side of your personality he may get. Bombarding him with messages is never a good idea, and neither is game-playing and strategising in order to affect a response. Being honest, open and rational and trying not to accuse, blame or blackmail is the best approach. Some time out for both of you will help you realise what it is you really want. You could suggest a weekly/fortnightly meeting where you both try and sort out the practical side, plus access to the children. This may help and in turn you may both slowly begin to talk about yourselves and the effects of the separation. In between that communication should be limited/or non-existant to allow you both time to reflect and think. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 31-Oct-16 @ 11:15 AM
Hi all I'd love some advice please. I'm currently fighting with my ex to get him to actually see our children. He broke up with me 4 months ago completely out of the blue, I've been through all the motions, crying frantic texts begging pleading etc. He still hasn't seen out children every time I ask there is some different excuse, got plans work ect. He thinks it's perfectly acceptable to send 1 message a week to ask how they are (he lives 5mins away) I sometimes may go a little crazy when he sends these messages but seriously who can blame me, I had this perfect life with my partner and 3 children then boom he's gone. I'm certain there is no one else involved. He does havesome health worried which he is getting treatment for. Please help I don't know what to do. I would love to resolve this whole situation with him and be a family again because despite all he has put me and my kids through I love him. Half of the time he ignores the messages I send to him. Do I start treating him the same and ignor him and let him really see what he's missing, what's he's likely to loose? I know that may come across as childish but I'm honestly at my wits end. I've tried been nice, been mean I've even told him to bog off and he can't see the kids to which he responded that he wants to see the kids and will start seeing them, that's was 3 weeks ago and he's still not seen them or made any arrangements to see them. Would love a fathers advice on this one.
Rach - 30-Oct-16 @ 12:26 PM
3 years of hell going around in circles. I've lost half of my daughters life . Still I'm not allowed to see her . One rule for one and different for her . My devorce says I could not be expected to stay with her . Her behaviour was so bad
Bang on - 22-Oct-16 @ 6:51 AM
My boys are with the mom I guest because I was Went to work and when I arrived she left with boys I really don't know what happen everything seems good .but seeing this is guess it wasn't.I made a report haven't got no answers .can't get my boys certicate because I made the report and still the investigator having gave me any solution tours this case and I havenever sleptlooking for them .
Mari - 15-Oct-16 @ 3:22 AM
sleepless dad - Your Question:
I'm a father of sixteen kids and I'll like help to meet all my children and some mom's don't have a problem for me to meet my kids but I don't know what to do.

Our Response:
You would have to contact the mums directly and make arrangement with the mums that are obliging. For the others, your only option would be to suggest mediation, or take the matter to court.
SeparatedDads - 14-Oct-16 @ 2:27 PM
Look Emma Jones sorry I really don't want to troll but your article is naive and from a female perspective. Did you ever have to sit and watch the father of your child threaten directly to your child they would never see their mother again? Did you have to be homeless due to father sitting in your house refusing to move out because he needed it "in the best interests of the child" despite him never paying a single penny towards it. These are the minor points too....I'm nine years down the line faced daily nightmares on all of this. Have you ever considered why should a mother have to go thru an expensive slow process thru court to "see" and "have contact" with their own child. No you haven't.Because you are a mother and not a disenfranchised father.Your attitude is worse than apartheid you should be ashamed and fight better for equal rights. That's all most people want.
Greatdad21 - 13-Oct-16 @ 11:07 PM
I'm a father of sixteen kids and I'll like help to meet all my children and some mom's don't have a problem for me to meet my kids but I don't know what to do.
sleepless dad - 13-Oct-16 @ 10:31 PM
Hi, I'm writing on behalf of my other half, he has a daughter but the mom of the daughter isn't allowing him to see his daughter. The last time he seen her was January and since then she hasn't allowed him to see her. He moved back down to England so he could be closer to his daughter and be able to have contact with her, he done everything the mother told him he needed to do to be able to her see which he has and now she's stopped contact. Is there any way that he could be able to see his daughter or what should he do? I really want him to see his daughter as if we have a conversation about her he gets really upset and wishes he could see her. Help please?
Ginger - 21-Sep-16 @ 10:41 PM
I have been separated from my wife now for only a couple of months. I have been battling with depression and thoughts of self harming as I never wanted the separation. My wife feels we have 'grown apart.' She is now saying that I'm only aloud to see our four girls for an hour every other week. I want more than that and feel not only doI need more than that in order to 'sort my head out' as my wife puts it, but they too need to be seeing their dad more often. is she able to limit me seeing my girls to only an hour every two weeks?
neil - 19-Sep-16 @ 10:47 PM
Grasp - Your Question:
Haven't seen my daughter in over a year. I'm hollowing out. My father died a year ago. Dead inside doesn't cut it. For me, there is no life and there is no death.

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. It is understandable you feel like this due to what you have and are experiencing. However, if your feelings have developed into chronic depression then you really need to seek help. I suggest speaking to your GP, and/or any helpline you may feel is applicable to you personally. With regards to your daughter, you can apply for access, but it seems you may need to help galvanise your emotional and physical self in order to begin to fight for your rights to see your child.
SeparatedDads - 15-Sep-16 @ 10:07 AM
Tj- Your Question:
I can't see my children and I really really need to. I have got two boys Jordan and jorrel and they are going to be 6 and 4 these year and I haven't seen them for 3months and it's keeling me so so much I'm starting to think they is no point for me to leaving coz without those boys I don't have anything to leave for

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. If your ex has stopped access, please see link: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, here and you would have to go through the procedure laid out in the article. You need to be strong for the sake of your children. If you take the matter to court, the chances are you will be given a court order that your ex by law will have to adhere to.
SeparatedDads - 14-Sep-16 @ 2:21 PM
Haven't seen my daughter in over a year. I'm hollowing out. My father died a year ago. Dead inside doesn't cut it. For me, there is no life and there is no death.
Grasp - 14-Sep-16 @ 9:48 AM
I can't see my children and I really really need to. I have got two boys Jordan and jorrel and they are going to be 6 and 4 these year and I haven't seen them for 3months and it's keeling me so so much I'm starting to think they is no point for me to leaving coz without those boys I don't have anything to leave for
Tj - 14-Sep-16 @ 3:58 AM
Hi im dad of two boys 6 yrs and 8 yrs old. i love my kids and they love me. my ex wont letting me see my kids, she saying spend money with solicotors and in court if you want to see kids. im kids dad why i need to pay to anyone to see my kids. they are my kids im with my kids from first day when they born. i should have rights aswel so no one can stop me to see my kids. my ex make false allegation on me to look my self bad person. i need help. she cheated on me and my kids, and she left my kids once home alone. but i didnt get any help from social services, im saving money so i can get place for kids. One person already left my ex wife and now she got another man, my kids dont like that.dont know what to do...
bhupinder - 1-Sep-16 @ 11:52 AM
Alec - Your Question:
Hi mediation have just got back to me and my ex has refused mediation, but now they have told me I've got to pay £65 for them to sign a page of v100 form then I have to pay £215 for the rest of the form and I'm not entitled to legal aid even tho I'm on jsa nowIs that right because I thought I could self litigate so would I still have to pay for the court order any help would be appreciated. Thanks Alec

Our Response:
If you are on a low income or benefits you may be able to get help with fees to apply to court, please see gov.uk link here. Hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 4-Aug-16 @ 11:56 AM
Hi mediation have just got back to me and my ex has refused mediation,but now they have told me I've got to pay £65 for them to sign a page of v100 form then I have to pay £215 for the rest of the form and I'm not entitled to legal aid even tho I'm on jsa now Is that right because I thought I could self litigate so would I still have to pay for the court order any help would be appreciated. Thanks Alec
Alec - 3-Aug-16 @ 4:40 PM
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