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How to Get to See My Kids and Help Other Separated Dads

By: Emma Jones - Updated: 20 Sep 2019 | comments*Discuss
 
How To Get To See My Kids And Help Other Separated Dads

Q.

I feel let down buy all the people I contact. My solicitor won't go any further until she gets legal aid and I haven't seen my children for nearly two months. I have been told it could be another month before she can apply for the aid.

Where does a father go from here? We should be able to have responsibility for our children - we are not here JUST to bring them into the world and then leave. We want to play an active role in their development.

I would like to go to college and gain some qualifications that will enable me to help fathers in distress, as we all suffer from being on our own. What are the best steps I can take to help myself and other dads in this situation? Is there something I could learn about in college that would be useful? I really need to get help with my problem with my ex so I can help others in a similar situation and reassure them that they are not alone.

(M.J, 20 April 2009)

A.

As a father you are setting a good example by wanting to fix problems with your ex and be able to see your children regularly. Unfortunately, the legal system can be slow to sort things out and this can be very frustrating for you, especially when you are unable to see your children in the meantime.

Ultimately, it is still the best route to go down in order to secure your Rights To Visitation and to play an active part in your children’s upbringings, but there are other steps you can take. The legal system is there for good reason and does play an important role in securing fathers’ rights, but is not the only solution.

You do not say what your relationship with your ex is like but you may want to consider asking her to attend some Mediation Sessions with you. You both need to work hard to put your children first and Find A Way To Communicate With Each Other. By agreeing to visit a mediator it gives you both a chance to express your feelings and opinions and to try to understand each other a bit better. You are always going to have a relationship because of your children so the smoother this can be, the better.

This may also be the best route for you to go down in order to help other fathers. Most men who are dealing with this kind of situation have a lot of emotions to deal with and could really do with someone to talk to. As someone who has experienced it, you would be in a great position to help them. There are many counselling and mediation courses available, either through your local college, private classes or distance learning that would be a great start.

Another thing to consider would be for you to visit a support group or talk to other men who are dealing with Visitation issues. There are a number of Internet forums and also groups that meet in person. As well as helping other men, you need to feel that you are not alone and it would probably help you to talk to other fathers who have dealt with the same thing. Why not read up about your rights as a separated dad here.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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My wife, got me arrested on 27th June 2019,for false allegations of DV. My wife did the same to me in 2012,after I caught her having an affair. We went to councilling for some months, but things were never the same.. I decided to work on our marriage, and we had 2 more children.. We have 4 beautiful children in total.. Anyway we moved on, sort of, although I couldn't really get over her false allegations to the police and the deceiving behaviour of her. She became very friendly with a mum at the school, who I thought was OK.. How wrong I was.. In May she was sending nude pics of herself on Instagram to some bloke. She only came clean when he started to demand money from her... We went back in councilling and then I was arrested on 27th June, ager 3 days of rows. Again I was arrested for false allegations of DV. Only this time she took out a non molestation order against me. She stole 18 thousand pounds from our account and left me homeless.. Im disabled, and was placed in a elderly dementia care home, to keep me off the streets. She's stopped me seeing or talking to my children. She's been having an affair with another married guy and his marriage is over. Last week I was stopped by the police to say she had alledged I had breached the non mol. When it was her that followeded me whilst I was sat having a smoke in my car outside my Doctors.. Now I've got to be interviewed by the police again.. All I want is to be able to see my children.. I'm so lost, and feel So alone...
Daren - 20-Sep-19 @ 9:15 PM
I am afraid if your ex doesn’t want you to see your kids there’s nothing you can do except move on yes it hurts messes with your head...but if you want to live a normal life then you have to move on...I have a son in Russia visited him from London to Khabarovsk in east Russia every 3 months....I was in court the judge told me to pay £650 pound per month I was paying her £350 every month up when we got divorced she thought I wanted custody...so she lied in court after this I never payed her 1 penny on visits I just spend money on clothes and toys and £1000 every 3 months my ex hated this and she hated me even more after I married a younger Russian women 6 months after divorce from the same city..she got the federal bailiff service on me stopped me leaving Russia lost me my job..in the end I left Russia anyway but the point is if you have a nasty ex and as much as you love your kids there is absolutely nothing you can do your ex has all the power in her hands for the sake of sanity just walk away start a new family and hope you can start the relationship with your kids when the reach 16 I know it’s hard to forget but there alive going to school just walk away
J - 3-Aug-19 @ 7:00 PM
I am having major issues regarding my ex wife, I am paying the amount required by the government each week without fail. Unfortunately everytime its my day she insists I give more money or I cannot see my girls, it's getting to a point where I feel its becoming a national wage. I have no issue in supporting my beautiful girls at all and will continue to do so, but is there something I can do to stop this bribery and what feels like financial abuse, I'm lost now and sick of it. Any advice would help
Liam - 1-Aug-19 @ 6:47 PM
To all the men here asking about getting to see your children.... There is no hope. If your ex means it then you will not see them. I am sure you have all realised a woman is immune to prosecution for perjury. They perjure themselves to obtain a non molestation order. Even when the judge is shown that her accusations were lies there is no consequence. After the initial NMO your ex will then repeatedly contact the police with lies. The police will come to your home and arrest you. You will be released because these things never happened. However, your ex will face no consequences. During this time she will not hand over the children. She will continue to use the police and courts to harass you. Eventually you will snap (which i did by text) and you will be arrested and charged. In family court the judge will make a song and dance about fathers seeing the children. You will get court orders saying you are allowed to see your children. However, your ex will not hand them over as there is no consequence to her. If you show up at her door to demand to see the kids your ex will ring the police. You will be arrested for harassment. You will be in and out of court for months listening to ridiculous allegations made by your ex. In most cases you will have to pay for this privilege whilst your ex receives legal aid. Also if you are a man being abused by your wife DO NOT report this if you have children. In my case i was able to prove my ex partner had split my head. I was able to show photos. However, a woman just has to claim you were the violent person. She does not need evidence. I have not saw my children for almost 2 years. In court I have proved her NMO was fabricated. I have proved that her subsequent allegations were fabricated. Through her own text messages she admitted that she told lies to court. That her solicitor told lies. That her solicitor made up lies to simply obtain legal aid. Neither faced a consequence to their actions. And here is another fact. A judge on a colossal wage has no time to learn about the facts of your case or read the facts of your case. However, he will go through every allegation made by your ex with a fine tooth comb. I am choosing the court route so I can show my kids in later years that i fought tooth and nail to see them. However, I understand now that there is no hope of seeing the children again. Courts cannot and will not enforce their own orders. Men have no chance from the outset in family court simply because they are men.
Annoyed - 29-Jun-19 @ 2:56 PM
To all the men here asking about getting to see your children.... There is no hope. If your ex means it then you will not see them. I am sure you have all realised a woman is immune to prosecution for perjury. They perjure themselves to obtain a non molestation order. Even when the judge is shown that her accusations were lies there is no consequence. After the initial NMO your ex will then repeatedly contact the police with lies. The police will come to your home and arrest you. You will be released because these things never happened. However, your ex will face no consequences. During this time she will not hand over the children. She will continue to use the police and courts to harass you. Eventually you will snap (which i did by text) and you will be arrested and charged. In family court the judge will make a song and dance about fathers seeing the children. You will get court orders saying you are allowed to see your children. However, your ex will not hand them over as there is no consequence to her. If you show up at her door to demand to see the kids your ex will ring the police. You will be arrested for harassment. You will be in and out of court for months listening to ridiculous allegations made by your ex. In most cases you will have to pay for this privilege whilst your ex receives legal aid. Also if you are a man being abused by your wife DO NOT report this if you have children. In my case i was able to prove my ex partner had split my head. I was able to show photos. However, a woman just has to claim you were the violent person. She does not need evidence. I have not saw my children for almost 2 years. In court I have proved her NMO was fabricated. I have proved that her subsequent allegations were fabricated. Through her own text messages she admitted that she told lies to court. That her solicitor told lies. That her solicitor made up lies to simply obtain legal aid. Neither faced a consequence to their actions. And here is another fact. A judge on a colossal wage has no time to learn about the facts of your case or read the facts of your case. However, he will go through every allegation made by your ex with a fine tooth comb. I am choosing the court route so I can show my kids in later years that i fought tooth and nail to see them. However, I understand now that there is no hope of seeing the children again. Courts cannot and will not enforce their own orders. Men have no chance from the outset in family court simply because they are men.
Annoyed - 29-Jun-19 @ 2:41 PM
To all the men here asking about getting to see your children.... There is no hope. If your ex means it then you will not see them. I am sure you have all realised a woman is immune to prosecution for perjury. They perjure themselves to obtain a non molestation order. Even when the judge is shown that her accusations were lies there is no consequence. After the initial NMO your ex will then repeatedly contact the police with lies. The police will come to your home and arrest you. You will be released because these things never happened. However, your ex will face no consequences. During this time she will not hand over the children. She will continue to use the police and courts to harass you. Eventually you will snap (which i did by text) and you will be arrested and charged. In family court the judge will make a song and dance about fathers seeing the children. You will get court orders saying you are allowed to see your children. However, your ex will not hand them over as there is no consequence to her. If you show up at her door to demand to see the kids your ex will ring the police. You will be arrested for harassment. You will be in and out of court for months listening to ridiculous allegations made by your ex. In most cases you will have to pay for this privilege whilst your ex receives legal aid. Also if you are a man being abused by your wife DO NOT report this if you have children. In my case i was able to prove my ex partner had split my head. I was able to show photos. However, a woman just has to claim you were the violent person. She does not need evidence. I have not saw my children for almost 2 years. In court I have proved her NMO was fabricated. I have proved that her subsequent allegations were fabricated. Through her own text messages she admitted that she told lies to court. That her solicitor told lies. That her solicitor made up lies to simply obtain legal aid. Neither faced a consequence to their actions. And here is another fact. A judge on a colossal wage has no time to learn about the facts of your case or read the facts of your case. However, he will go through every allegation made by your ex with a fine tooth comb. I am choosing the court route so I can show my kids in later years that i fought tooth and nail to see them. However, I understand now that there is no hope of seeing the children again. Courts cannot and will not enforce their own orders. Men have no chance from the outset in family court simply because they are men.
Annoyed - 29-Jun-19 @ 2:21 PM
To all the men here asking about getting to see your children.... There is no hope. If your ex means it then you will not see them. I am sure you have all realised a woman is immune to prosecution for perjury. They perjure themselves to obtain a non molestation order. Even when the judge is shown that her accusations were lies there is no consequence. After the initial NMO your ex will then repeatedly contact the police with lies. The police will come to your home and arrest you. You will be released because these things never happened. However, your ex will face no consequences. During this time she will not hand over the children. She will continue to use the police and courts to harass you. Eventually you will snap (which i did by text) and you will be arrested and charged. In family court the judge will make a song and dance about fathers seeing the children. You will get court orders saying you are allowed to see your children. However, your ex will not hand them over as there is no consequence to her. If you show up at her door to demand to see the kids your ex will ring the police. You will be arrested for harassment. You will be in and out of court for months listening to ridiculous allegations made by your ex. In most cases you will have to pay for this privilege whilst your ex receives legal aid. Also if you are a man being abused by your wife DO NOT report this if you have children. In my case i was able to prove my ex partner had split my head. I was able to show photos. However, a woman just has to claim you were the violent person. She does not need evidence. I have not saw my children for almost 2 years. In court I have proved her NMO was fabricated. I have proved that her subsequent allegations were fabricated. Through her own text messages she admitted that she told lies to court. That her solicitor told lies. That her solicitor made up lies to simply obtain legal aid. Neither faced a consequence to their actions. And here is another fact. A judge on a colossal wage has no time to learn about the facts of your case or read the facts of your case. However, he will go through every allegation made by your ex with a fine tooth comb. I am choosing the court route so I can show my kids in later years that i fought tooth and nail to see them. However, I understand now that there is no hope of seeing the children again. Courts cannot and will not enforce their own orders. Men have no chance from the outset in family court simply because they are men.
Annoyed - 29-Jun-19 @ 2:06 PM
To all the men here asking about getting to see your children.... There is no hope. If your ex means it then you will not see them. I am sure you have all realised a woman is immune to prosecution for perjury. They perjure themselves to obtain a non molestation order. Even when the judge is shown that her accusations were lies there is no consequence. After the initial NMO your ex will then repeatedly contact the police with lies. The police will come to your home and arrest you. You will be released because these things never happened. However, your ex will face no consequences. During this time she will not hand over the children. She will continue to use the police and courts to harass you. Eventually you will snap (which i did by text) and you will be arrested and charged. In family court the judge will make a song and dance about fathers seeing the children. You will get court orders saying you are allowed to see your children. However, your ex will not hand them over as there is no consequence to her. If you show up at her door to demand to see the kids your ex will ring the police. You will be arrested for harassment. You will be in and out of court for months listening to ridiculous allegations made by your ex. In most cases you will have to pay for this privilege whilst your ex receives legal aid. Also if you are a man being abused by your wife DO NOT report this if you have children. In my case i was able to prove my ex partner had split my head. I was able to show photos. However, a woman just has to claim you were the violent person. She does not need evidence. I have not saw my children for almost 2 years. In court I have proved her NMO was fabricated. I have proved that her subsequent allegations were fabricated. Through her own text messages she admitted that she told lies to court. That her solicitor told lies. That her solicitor made up lies to simply obtain legal aid. Neither faced a consequence to their actions. And here is another fact. A judge on a colossal wage has no time to learn about the facts of your case or read the facts of your case. However, he will go through every allegation made by your ex with a fine tooth comb. I am choosing the court route so I can show my kids in later years that i fought tooth and nail to see them. However, I understand now that there is no hope of seeing the children again. Courts cannot and will not enforce their own orders. Men have no chance from the outset in family court simply because they are men.
Annoyed - 29-Jun-19 @ 1:48 PM
I see all the questions.... where are the answers????
Bsijfsyb - 19-Jun-19 @ 10:14 AM
hi all, I'm currently looking for advice on how to get some form of access to see my son, my ex partner split up with me when my son was a month old she called the police and got me arrested on many false allegations to which I have been proven innocent, I've been to mediation to get the c100 form but looking at solicitors but they all seem really costly! I wouldn't mind the price its the fact I can't afford it due to losing everything, my little boy is one this month and I really want him back in my arms. if anyone could point me in the right direction it would be really appreciated! many thanks.
ryan - 16-Jun-19 @ 12:24 PM
Dear who may concern, I am writing to you because I don't know where to turn and I am desperate to know about my children. My name is Jose Simoes and currently live in Ipswich,I have a full time job as a registered care home manager. I used to live in south Wales more precisely in merthyr tydfil and I have 2 children with my ex wife. When we first separeted (now divorced) she allowed me to see my children, and I always paid and still paying child maintenance every month without fail. Now that I remarried she wont allow me to see or talk with my children, I don't even know where my children is, and this has been going on for too long now. I am a completely desperate to see my children but unfortunately no one has been able to help me. There is no reason in the world why I shouldn't see my children. PLEASE HELP ME
Joe - 23-Mar-19 @ 12:39 AM
I was separated with my ex-wife in 2018, she and the 2 children continued stay in the home for 8 more years while I paid for the full monthly mortgage during these 8 years. The original agreement was that I can see the children every other Saturday and Sunday and no stay overnight; I live close by so that was not an issue. My ex then practice alternative life style that is meat free; chemical free and pretty much technology free too. She moved to France with her boyfriend after the home was sold. So seeing the children were no longer easy as before; restricted technology used meant I did not even have regular contact with my children via messaging apps or even just normal phone call. I ended up seeing the children 2 times a years by going to France to bring them back to UK for a week each time. Recently my ex have refused children to visit during the summer time and also for Christmas time; labeling my house is “Toxic” for the children because we have WIFI on 24X7; using laundry detergent like every other house; wash ourselves with shampoo and shower gel like everyone else; having meat on dinner table; watch TV; play games; buying clothes and eating chocolate. I see my house is a typical British house; following typical life style but unfortunately my ex see these thing poisoning the children. My ex want to lay down conditions when the children visit that I cannot agree; she always had the upper hands using the children to get what she wanted because she knew how much I love my children. So I can no longer give in and there should be no conditions for father to see their children. I wanted to take her to court buy stopped by my wife concern how my children might be affected and angry at me instead. My children are 15 and 13; are children allow to make their own decision which parent to stay with when they turn 16?
ONG - 29-Nov-18 @ 12:27 PM
I was separated with my ex-wife in 2018, she and the 2 children continued stay in the home for 8 more years while I paid for the full monthly mortgage during these 8 years. The original agreement was that I can see the children every other Saturday and Sunday and no stay overnight; I live close by so that was not an issue. My ex then practice alternative life style that is meat free; chemical free and pretty much technology free too. She moved to France with her boyfriend after the home was sold. So seeing the children were no longer easy as before; restricted technology used meant I did not even have regular contact with my children via messaging apps or even just normal phone call. I ended up seeing the children 2 times a years by going to France to bring them back to UK for a week each time. Recently my ex have refused children to visit during the summer time and also for Christmas time; labeling my house is “Toxic” for the children because we have WIFI on 24X7; using laundry detergent like every other house; wash ourselves with shampoo and shower gel like everyone else; having meat on dinner table; watch TV; play games; buying clothes and eating chocolate. I see my house is a typical British house; following typical life style but unfortunately my ex see these thing poisoning the children. My ex want to lay down conditions when the children visit that I cannot agree; she always had the upper hands using the children to get what she wanted because she knew how much I love my children. So I can no longer give in and there should be no conditions for father to see their children. I wanted to take her to court buy stopped by my wife concern how my children might be affected and angry at me instead. My children are 15 and 13; are children allow to make their own decision which parent to stay with when they turn 16?
ONG - 29-Nov-18 @ 11:40 AM
Hi, Someone I used to work with is going through a rough time, he is now unemployed and hasn't seen his daughter this year as his ex has just cut him out of her life. I know he is also in debt so says he has no money to get a solicitor etc. Is there any free legal aid available to him please?
Jonesy - 6-Nov-18 @ 8:46 PM
Hi there. I'm really in need of some help/advice as I'm having alot of issues regarding access to my daughter and housing. My wife told me to leave the joint family home roughly 2 years ago after an argument and changed the locks a couple of days later. I have had to re house myself and basically start again with nothing and caused me alot of financial issues. She wont/can't take me off joint mortgage, excluding me from the home, won't give me keys etc. Regarding my daughter the last 2 years it's been on and off and when convenient for my wife. She has stopped my family from seeing her, stopped me from picking her up from school and won't involve me in any activities at all. I have tried mediation and she refused, then to offer me contact 2 hours a week through a solicitor. It's not working seeing my daughter at the family home as my wife and me are always in confrontation and she just stops contact when she feels like it. I have my own home but my wife won't tell her anything. I've been cut from everything and at my wits end. My wife has also told me she doesn't want a divorce or a separation!!!! Please help.
Leezee - 26-Oct-18 @ 10:39 PM
Hi there. I'm really in need of some help/advice as I'm having alot of issues regarding access to my daughter and housing. My wife told me to leave the joint family home roughly 2 years ago after an argument and changed the locks a couple of days later. I have had to re house myself and basically start again with nothing and caused me alot of financial issues. She wont/can't take me off joint mortgage, excluding me from the home, won't give me keys etc. Regarding my daughter the last 2 years it's been on and off and when convenient for my wife. She has stopped my family from seeing her, stopped me from picking her up from school and won't involve me in any activities at all. I have tried mediation and she refused, then to offer me contact 2 hours a week through a solicitor. It's not working seeing my daughter at the family home as my wife and me are always in confrontation and she just stops contact when she feels like it. I have my own home but my wife won't tell her anything. I've been cut from everything and at my wits end. My wife has also told me she doesn't want a divorce or a separation!!!! Please help.
Leezee - 26-Oct-18 @ 10:14 PM
Hi Im stuck in a horrible situation, my ex partner and I have 2 daughters 12&10, the oldest lives with me and the youngest has just recently moved in with him since this has happened he has refused me any visitation at all, I also have a son 3 with my current partner, my oldest has refused to see her dad any more for fear he won't let her return to me but also my little boy who absolutely adores both of his sisters is missing the younger sister terribly they had an extremely close relationship he keeps asking for her constantly, my ex is completely refusing any kind of visits until he secures a court order for residency. Both of my girls have lived with me full time since our relationship broke downover 8 years ago and I've always allowed contact with their dad and always on his terms.
Michelle - 3-Oct-18 @ 11:14 PM
I’m looking for some advice for my partner. We have been together for over a year and his ex has continually controlled him, what he does with his children when in his care and us. She has harassed me to the point I have involved the police. She has a partner who is a part of their children’s life’s. She has told him over her dead body will she allow him to introduce me. We have plans to live together next year. I am pregnant with his child. I have other children. His mother had a conversation with her and asked why he isn’t allowed to take his children on holiday to France which then turned into the usual over my dead body will Hannah ever meet my children. His mum is as timid as him and replied that after court I will be allowed to see them and that we will be living together. She called him and accused his mother of making a threat. She has now told him she is withholding contact. He usually has them 5 days a week. 4 after school until bedtime and from fri after school until Saturday 7pm. He is obviously devistated. Can she do this? Will court say we can’t live together if she demands that? If it is the only way he can see his children obviously we will just have to adjust our plans and stay living separated. He is not on a high wage. Had very regular contact. Always pays maintenance. It all seems so unfair for him. Please advise waiting 4-6 months for a contact order is too long for his children 7 and 4 to not see him after years of spending more time with him. Is there a court order that can reinstate contact much sooner until the contact order is in place?
Hannah - 30-Sep-18 @ 6:19 AM
Vald - Your Question:
What do I do.? He has promised a car, money to have lessons, help with uni, etc. He has now met a lady, has a mortgage, a new daughter, a new ‘wife’. They are very demanding, he even pays for their friends to go on holiday with them!The needs of his daughter have gone, as a disabled person she has achieved a lot. He Bragg’s about her but he didn’t help one jot. She sees him, the whole time I get text about what he and her are doing.! The last text text says, “ he has bought her a car, a mini, that was for me wasn’t it”? Yes, in 2017 that’s what he promised and help with everything else, now the door is shut. He is so desperate for company in his life, What do I do? Not my business.but my daughter is so defeated?

Our Response:
Much depends upon how old your daughter is, your daughter's father has no obligation to continue supporting his child once she leaves full-time education and you stop being eleigible to claim child benefit. If your daughter is disabled, your only recourse would be to seek legal advice to see whether you could apply to court for further financial support.
SeparatedDads - 7-Sep-18 @ 12:48 PM
What do I do..?He has promised a car, money to have lessons, help with uni, etc.He has now met a lady, has a mortgage, a new daughter, a new ‘wife’.They are very demanding, he even pays for their friends to go on holiday with them! The needs of his daughter have gone, as a disabled person she has achieved a lot.He Bragg’s about her but he didn’t help one jot.She sees him, the whole time I get text about what he and her are doing.!The last text text says, “ he has bought her a car, a mini, that was for me wasn’t it”? Yes, in2017 that’s what he promised and help with everything else,now the door is shut.He is so desperate for company in his life, What do I do?Not my business.......but my daughter is so defeated?
Vald - 5-Sep-18 @ 6:24 PM
I've not seen my daughter for over 3 months with my ex saying "my daughter doesn't want to see me and she wasn't going to make her see me. She's 14 and I put it down to a phase but now after 3 months we are meant to go on holiday in 3 days and my ex says my daughter doesn't want to go. We haven't had a argument or any kind of issue between us. I've put in for a court order but i'm deemed as un urgent. Is there anything that I can do as I know if we spent time together it'd put me and my daughter back on track.
Scotty14 - 22-Aug-18 @ 6:44 PM
Unmarried seperated my x wont let me see my 1yr old daughter. She makes up excuses like she is scared of me. She has a new boyfriend and i no longer care for her all i want is to be inmy daughters life
Eddy - 19-Aug-18 @ 5:24 AM
Hi, Ok so my partner of 3 years has 3 children with his ex one now being a working adult and 2 who is 10 and 13. Me and my partner have 1 child and second due in 4 weeks. We will be going solicitor because she wants to much for nothing. The 2 children in question, have always stayed with us 2-3 nights a week that's because they or we ask them if theyd like too. They came here every day after school anf was being picked up by her once she finished work, I would collect the youngest one from school every day and oldest would get a bus here. This is their home too so would eat any food rink any drink play in their rooms on xbox etc. We pay for the boys uniforms and eldest bus pass and of course clothes that stay here and anything they want within reason. My partner was with her for 18 years, they split because he found out she was going behind his back with several men for several years, me and him got together pretty quickly after they split and all I had was abuse and threats etc, well they had a mortgage together she wasn't working nor paying for the mortgage/bills only until they split well he was paying it all for couple months when we was together and stopped. She believes he is not entitled to the house or any monies from the house, she believes its her right to keep the house and he gets nothing from it basically, she even had the nerve to say because his mum and dad also his nan and grandad have houses worth £500k that he doesn't deserve the house he originally paid for because she wont get anything from her parents/family when they die! Well me and her had a row about something she said about my children and few other things now because of that she has stopped us seeing them now only once in the week and every other weekend. But since doing this, she has contacted cms said we have the boys less 1 night a week and their is no other children involved etc. She has threatened in the past to take him through cms butbelieve she used the calculator and see that what we was paying for was correct & even my partner rang and asked the question and they said yes keep paying what you pay. She has always wanted Dans money and now has stopped us seeing the children and told cms and now they want more money. We have asked several times were have them 50/50 but she has always said no and I so many words said she wants the money as she has bills to pay. When they was together she got him in debt by claiming benefits, credit cards and various other things which he is still paying back now. She is also pregnant with her new fella who has 12 other children to which he doesn't see or pay for and has social services involved, she rang us to say they may want to speak to us about the boys and for us to tell them her boyfriend is fine and basically lie about him, we don't know much about their relationship but have been told by other people who know him and women who have children with him that he's basically scum, he is living their and If im right my pa
MrsW - 30-Jul-18 @ 1:51 PM
Im a sixteen year old boy my son is 8 months old my ex never lets me see him she uses him as a weapon then says on social media that my family don’t know what to do with him but we’re the ones making him better treating rashes but she’s acts like we cause them I want to see my son more but she says if I moan about it she will take him away for good and she’s told me sons moving out of the city I live in please help what can I do what’s my rights
Ginge - 22-Jul-18 @ 11:54 PM
Craiggy - Your Question:
Hi I am looking for some advice on what to do next my ex partner won’t let me see my son not at all not any of my family members are aloud to see him either where do I start please somebody

Our Response:
The link here , should help you answer your question.
SeparatedDads - 9-Jul-18 @ 3:32 PM
Hi I am looking for some advice on what to do next my ex partner won’t let me see my son not at all not any of my family members are aloud to see him either where do I start please somebody
Craiggy - 6-Jul-18 @ 4:01 PM
Hi i have 2 children to an unamarried woman. She has said i cannot have members of my family around thec2 children. I have been seeing the children on her terms which change when see feels like. She has written her own agreements in which i have no say. I am now sick to death of her and her tantrums. Only today she said to the children in front of me who are 1 and 2 say goodbye to your dad as you will not see him anymore. I have no option but to go to court. Can you help
Ss - 29-May-18 @ 11:50 PM
Hi i was wondering if any one can guide me in the right direction the mother of my children has being using my children as weapons for a while now only allowing me to see them on her terms with no regular contact, I am not allowed to call them unless she decides I can I have had verbal abuse also family members of here have broken into my property with intent to harm me over her silly behaviour. I am currently unemployed as I suffer with ptsd and had a brake down because of stress. I am having to move home as I feel unsafe and receive regular threats I am not sure it I can get help with legal aid or how to afford the cost but I really need something in place so I can see my children if any one can offer advice please do.
James Henry - 18-Apr-18 @ 7:55 PM
rp - Your Question:
Hi can any1 help with advice basically I split up from my ex 6 years ago and she has been refusing to let me see my 4 sons on and off since I havnt seen now for over 2 years an have found out she has moved address can I still apply to court to see my sons even though there has been a long period of time since I have seen them ? and what if I dont know her current address many thanks

Our Response:
Yes, you can apply at any time to see your children, please see link here . You would also have to apply for a C4 form which is an application for an order for disclosure of a child’s whereabouts. This means the courts can put a trace on your children to allow you to bring the matter to court to apply for access. Or you may wish to use a PI (which may be quicker). As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the children in question. The court will always put the children’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
SeparatedDads - 3-Apr-18 @ 11:45 AM
hi can any1 help with advice basically i split up from my ex 6 years ago and she has been refusing to let me see my 4 sonson and off since i havnt seen now for over 2 years an have found out she has movedaddress can i still apply to court to see my sons even though there has been a long period of time since i have seen them ? and what if i dont know her current address many thanks
rp - 2-Apr-18 @ 3:55 PM
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